Aalice.545
net.jokes
utzoo!decvax!harpo!npois!alice!sjb
Sun May 2 17:47:23 1982
Yiddish Encounter
A man walked into Cortney's and Cortney's Deli, a very posh establishment
on the corner of nth street and xth avenue. He said to the clerk, ``Do
you have any bagels?''
The clerk looked very puzzled and said (in a very posh voice, of course),
``Bagels, sir? Hmmmmmmmmmm... I'll have to check.'' So he picked up
the telephone and, after getting an answer, said ``Cortney, this is
Cortney; a gentleman would like to know if we have bagels ... We do?
[to the man] How many would you like, sir?''
``Three dozen please''
``Three dozen, Cortney. Yes, thank you. [to the man] Will there be
anything else?''
``Yes,'' said the man, ``I'd like some cream cheese.''
``Cream cheese?'', said the clerk (again puzzled), ``I'll have to check
and see if we have any.'' He picked up the telephone again and said
(again, after receiving an answer), ``Cortney, this is Cortney. This
same gentleman would like to know if we have any cream cheese ... We
do? [to the man] How much would you like, sir?''
``A pound, please.''
``Yes, a pound, Cortney. Yes, thank you. [to the man] Will there be
anything else?''
``Yes,'' said the man, ``I'd like some lox.''
``Lox?'', said the clerk (very puzzled this time), ``How do you spell
that... oh, just a minute; I'll check and see if we have some.'' He
picked up the phone, again getting an answer, and said, ``Cortney, this
is Cortney. The same gentlemen would like some lox. Do we have some?
We do? [to the man] How much, sir?''
``A half pound, please.''
``Yes, a half pound, Cortney. Thank you. [to the man] Will there
be anything else, sir?''
``No, that's all thank you,'' said the man.
``Very well, sir; where would you like this all shipped?''
``No need to ship it,'' said the man, ``I'll take it with me.''
``What?!?!'' exclaimed Cortney, ``You're going to schlep all this
with you?!''
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