Awatmath.1628
net.jokes
utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!watmath!mabgarstin
Mon Feb 1 21:55:34 1982
Artie the wierdo
All of this brings to mind a story I once heard about a man who wished to have
his wife bumped off (killed). He went down to the local pub and started asking
around for anybody who would do the job for him.
'Go ask Artie', said one fellow, 'He'll do do it, he's kind of strange that
way anyway'.
So the man goes and ask Artie if he'll bump off his wife for him.
'Ya ya', says Artie real excited and almost foaming at the mouth over the
thought of it. 'I'll do real cheap, one dollar, that's all'.
So the man agrees to the terms then explains to Artie where he can find his
wife in order to bump her off.
'She goes shopping every Friday afternoon at 1:30 at the local A&P store.
<A&P NAME A SUB OF WISH STORE THE ANY FOOD YOUR YOU FAVORITE CANADA, LARGE CHAIN SUPERMARKET OWN HERE CAN IN IS LOCAL>. She wears a
brown coat and drives a blue Pontiac'.
Artie, bounds out of the pub moaning and groaning with excitement about his
new job and then prepares for the next Friday to come.
Here, on the next Friday we find Artie at the A&P store ready and waiting at
1:30.
Suddenly he sees a blue Pontiac pull into the lot and a lady in a brown coat
gets out. Immediately Artie jumps out of his car, runs over to the lady and
strangles her on the spot. He drops her body down and heads back to his car
drooling at the mouth.
Suddenly, Artie sees another blue Pontiac enter the lot and another lady in
a brown coat gets out. 'Maybe I killed da wrong lady', thinks Artie. 'Oh well,
I enjoy doin this anyways', so he runs over and strangles her on the spot also.
On his way back to the car Artie sees a man standing on the curb with his
mouth wide open, flabbergasped. 'A witness', thinks Artie, 'Oh well, 3 was my
lucky number anyways', so he runs over and strangles the man also.
Quickly Artie runs back into his car and drives away.
The following Mon. the man comes over to Artie's apartment to pay him for the
job.
'I think you did a good job there Artie, I want to pay you for the job'.
He finds Artie busily packing all his bags and asks what's the matter.
'Got to go, got to get out of town, they all know, it's all blown open', says
Artie hastly as he stuffs more shirts into his case.
'But how Artie?', says the man, 'I didn't hear anything about it'.
Artie opens a newspaper and says, 'There, headlines, "Artichokes, 3 for a
dollar at A&P"'.
too-da-loos from MAB at Uniwats
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