F I D O N E W S Volume 17, Number 12 20 Mar 2000

F I D O N E W S Volume 17, Number 12 20 Mar 2000
+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
| The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: |
| FidoNet community | "FidoNews" |
| _ | 1-717-732-6820 1:270/720 |
| / \ | |
| /|oo \ | |
| (_| /_) | |
| _`@/_ \ _ | |
| | | \ \\ | Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720 |
| | (*) | \ )) | [email protected] |
| |__U__| / \// | |
| _//|| _\ / | |
| (_/(_|(____/ | |
| (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. |
| | -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+

Table of Contents
1. EDITORIAL ................................................ 1
Ask Not What FIDONET Does for You ........................ 1
2. ARTICLES ................................................. 2
Installing Love .......................................... 2
3. COLUMNS .................................................. 4
This Week's Web Page ..................................... 4
ECHO TALK - Why Read This Echo? .......................... 5
4. NET HUMOR ................................................ 7
The Height of Science .................................... 7
Roadside Check ........................................... 7
5. COMIX IN ASCII ........................................... 8
Cows Behind Bars ......................................... 8
6. FIDONEWS INFO ............................................ 9
Masthead ................................................. 9
FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 1 20 Mar 2000

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EDITORIAL
=================================================================

Ask Not What FIDONET Does for You...
Doug Myers

The title, of course, paraphrases John F. Kennedy's famous statement
"Ask not what your country can do for you... ask what you can do for
your country." Now it's tough for me to iconize ol' Jack Kennedy -
I still remember when he ran for President of the US, and I still
remember how he botched the Bay of Pigs Invasion. But it occurred to
me recently that the old boy may have been on to something there.
After all, don't most religions and philosophies promote the virtue
of giving?

The column ECHOTALK for this week features my own and others
responses to one asking for reasons to continue reading the echo.
The responses all, in one way or another, emphasize that he must put
something into the echo to enjoy it.

Think back to your own echo experiences - do you enjoy echoes the
most when you just read through them, or do you enjoy them most when
you're posting?

Perhaps this is the key to revitalizing Fido! What is it that Fido
offers better than the Internet? Answer: Fidonet needs you to do
for it more than the Internet ever will... The Internet has Bill
Gates and all the DotCom entrepreneurs to fuel it - it doesn't need
us amateurs to fuel it. Fido, on the other hand, falls apart
quickly without amateurs to move the mail, make the echoes come
alive, keep the nodelist in order, write the (mostly) free software
which runs our systems, and serve as uplinks for other systems.

As a personal note, I've got to say that I've enjoyed Fido most when
I've been doing something for it. How may of those of you reading
this share the same experience?

Perhaps we'll attract folks to Fidonet not by telling them what Fido
offers them, but by telling them why Fido needs them.

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FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 2 20 Mar 2000

=================================================================
ARTICLES
=================================================================

A step by step guide to installing love on the human machine.
Thanks to Lynn Gipson

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am
ready to install now. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located
your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called
HIGHESTEEM.EXE However,you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE
and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE
and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it
will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the
upgrades.

Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL
COMPONENTS". What does that mean?

Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It means
FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 3 20 Mar 2000

that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has
not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it means - "you have
to 'LOVE' your own machine before it can "LOVE" others."

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Tech Support: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Tech Support : You're welcome. Click on the following files and then
copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC,
SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will
overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all
directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure
it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat
files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying
themselves all over my HEART!

Tech Support: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able
to handle it from here. One more thing before I go

Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other
people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help

Author Unknown

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FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 4 20 Mar 2000

=================================================================
COLUMNS
=================================================================

This Weeks Web Page
by Frank Vest
1:124/6308(.1)

Comment:
In the fast paced world of computers, it is easy to look to the
"latest and greatest" for our needs and desires... And... after the
Y2K talk of how the old systems weren't Y2K and would die in the
year 2000, it's easy to forget them. I'm reminded by a User on my
system, that calls via an old Atari, that the old systems didn't all
die. :)

What: JetSys - Home of JetMail, JetStat and other Atari FidoNet
utilities

Where: http://www.jetsys.de/

Going for it:

This is one of those pages that explains itself well. Rather than
boring you with an attempt on my part to describe the page, here it
is;

----
JetMail is the best available FidoNet technology based mail
processor for the Atari ST computer series. And it's the only one
which is supported (there are other free mail processors, but with
no support and no further developement). JetMail is now freeware and
the sources are available under GPL for download from this site or
by FidoNet file request from 2:2432/1101 with Magic JETSRC.

Features included in JetMail:

Full 5D capability
Integrated Areafix with forwarding capability
Integrated Filefix
FileEcho maintenance functions
Integrated messagetracker
Handling of different netmail areas
Echomail/Packet statistics
Includes nearly all IOS/ACS features and much more
Highly configurable
Very fast

There is a demo package available which includes JetMail (Version
1.01) and JetStat (Version 1.01) and a preliminary documentation in
ASCII format (sorry, the doc's are only availabe in english
language) together with sample message files for the internal
areafix and filefix. If you want to run the JetMail internal message
tracker you need to download the BTNC nodelist compiler and the
FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 5 20 Mar 2000

Xvision browsing utility.

JetMail is only a mail processor for FidoNet networks. You can't
read or write net- or echomails with JetMail. I recommend LED for
this purpose.

Y2K fixed version 1.01 is now available. There is a problem with the
PureC library function strftime which expands %y to 10 instead of
00. This only effects the date in JetMail generated messages. For
LED you had to pick up another update file.
----

If you're into the Atari computers, drop by this page.

Regards,

Frank, [email protected]

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. -- -- -- -- -- ECHO TALK -- -- -- -- -- .
| Food for thought from Fido's echomail. |
| Purloined without permission by D Myers |
` -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- '

Though the messages below were taken from the MODERATOR echo in
response to Jim Hanoian, I thought they were applicable to all
echoes and might be of interest to all FIDONEWS readers.

---------- Echomail from Douglas Myers to Jim Hanoian ----------

JH> I signed up for this echo since I am a Fido Moderator. I was
JH> under the obviously mistaken impression that I was going to
JH> actually find something here that would help me do my job
JH> better.

I dunno, Jim... maybe you were sold a bill of goods by someone...
or maybe you talked with someone who genuinely believed that the
echo did them a lot of good, and you took it as a warranty. My
guess, though, is that you read the tag name "MODERATOR" from the
echolist and thought it might be nice to interact with folks of the
same interest. Am I correct in assuming that no one actually
promised you anything to induce you to join the echo, and that the
dissapointment is based on your own expectations?

JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo?

I can't, and I don't know if anyone should be expected to. Don't
get my wrong... you're welcome here. Well, I'm not the moderator
or anyone official, but I think I can say that as one of the folks
who speaks up in the echo from time to time. You see, this is just
a gathering place of moderators - the moderators aren't required to
FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 6 20 Mar 2000

show up and they're not required to offer anything inspirational.
So what you get out of it is going to depend on what you put into
it. If you're looking for good, strong arguements... pick a fight
and see who will accomodate you. Heck, you can probably join one
of the ongoing ones with no trouble :)

If you're looking for inspiration, try saying something
inspirational and see who joins you. If you're looking for tips
and techniques, try offering your own or asking specifics. Try
nudging the conversation along the lines you want to hear -
otherwise there's no reason to keep reading :)

---------- Echomail from Thom LaCosta to Jim Hanoian ----------

JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo?

JH> hehe... I've learned to (a) resubmit before expired and (b) do it
JH> yourself or you've only got yourself to blame.

See ... just those things alone can outweigh all the other things (g).

Reading some Fido echoes is very similar to copying morse code
signals when the bands are filled with interference(QRM) and
static(QRN). It's amazing, but if you really concentrate of the
signal you want to hear, the other stuff doesn't seem nearly as
loud.

Thom LaCosta
[email protected]
http://www.baltimoremd.com/
-!-
! Origin: Home of The Other Robot (1:1/21)

---------- Echomail from Kay Shapero to Jim Hanoian ----------

JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo?

When I joined in it was exactly what you describe in the first
paragraph... and frequently it still is. The trick is to ask for
advice on something moderation related and watch helpful people
come out of the woodwork to assist.

The folks doing most of the arguing do it everwhere, not just
here, so it's not enough to leave one echo I'm afraid. I wonder
if perhaps somewhere in the description of this echo the words
"Warning - this is NOT the Supreme Court of FIDOnet." should
appear.

! Origin: StormGate Aerie: FILK, BABYLON5 & SFFAN (1:102/524)

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FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 7 20 Mar 2000

=================================================================
NET HUMOR
=================================================================

The Height of Science
Thanks to Roy Reed

A group of scientists wanted to know the height of a flagpole, so
they went out to the pole with ladders and tape measures, and after
numerous falls and failures they gave up in exhaustion.

About this time along comes an engineer, however, who sees what
they're trying to do, walks over to the pole, pulls it out of the
ground, lays it down flat, measures it from end to end, gives the
measurement to one of the scientists, puts the pole back up and
walks away.

After the engineer has gone, one of the scientists turns to another
and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for the
height and he gives us the length."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Roadside Check
Thanks to Roy Reed

This man at the side of the road was fixing his flat tire. A police
car stops behind his and the officer strolls to him to offer help.
The man says he's doing OK and doesn't need help.

The officer takes a walk around the car to make sure everything is
OK. He spots a large knife with a fancy handle on the passenger
seat. When he enquires about the knife, the man says it's his and
he uses it as a juggler at the local circus.

The officer then asks him to demonstrate his act to be sure the man
is telling the truth, and the man goes through his routine.

Meanwhile a car with two recovering alcoholics drives by. The
driver says to his passenger, "Man ... I am glad I stopped drinking
when I did. It's amazing what they make them do these days at those
roadside sobriety checks."

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FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 8 20 Mar 2000

=================================================================
COMIX IN ASCII
=================================================================

+=============================+
| F R E D ' S S A L O O N |
(__)| +-----+ |
(xx)| | ___ | |(__)
\/ | |/=|=\| |(oo)
| |==|==| | \/
| |==|==| |
------------------------------------

Cows behind bars

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FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 9 20 Mar 2000

=================================================================
FIDONEWS INFO
=================================================================

Masthead

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, [email protected] |
| Webmaster: Jim Barchuk, [email protected] |
| Columnist: Joe Jared, 1:103/0, [email protected] |
| (Fido Via Internet Hubs column) |
| Columnist: Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, [email protected] |
| (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB") |
| Humor: Roy Reed, [email protected] |
| Features: Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1 |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince |
| Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees, |
| Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

"Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
94141, and are used with permission.

Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
Fidonews is Copyright (C) 2000 by Douglas Myers, though authors
retain rights to their contributed articles. Opinion expressed by
the authors is strictly their own. Noncommercial duplication and
distribution within Fidonet is encouraged. Authors are encouraged
to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
addresses above.

The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS. These
sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
The current and past issues are also available from the following
sources:

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- - FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1 |
| ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ |
| ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/ |
| http://www.fidonews.org |
| email subscription: [email protected] |
| (subject: help body: list) |
| ftp mail: [email protected] (subject: help) |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 10 20 Mar 2000

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