F I D O N E W S Volume 17, Number 11 13 Mar 2000

F I D O N E W S Volume 17, Number 11 13 Mar 2000
+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
| The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: |
| FidoNet community | "FidoNews" |
| _ | 1-717-732-6820 1:270/720 |
| / \ | |
| /|oo \ | |
| (_| /_) | |
| _`@/_ \ _ | |
| | | \ \\ | Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720 |
| | (*) | \ )) | [email protected] |
| |__U__| / \// | |
| _//|| _\ / | |
| (_/(_|(____/ | |
| (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. |
| | -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+

Table of Contents
1. EDITORIAL ................................................ 1
A Horse Tale ............................................. 1
2. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR .................................... 3
More on TheLitterBox ..................................... 3
3. COLUMNS .................................................. 4
Ol'WDB: Strange Facts .................................... 4
This Weeks Web Page ...................................... 4
4. NET HUMOR ................................................ 6
Forrest Gump & St. Peter ................................. 6
The Pudding Gang ......................................... 7
5. COMIX IN ASCII ........................................... 9
COW-ngratulating a Bull .................................. 9
6. FIDONEWS INFO ............................................ 10
Masthead ................................................. 10
FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 1 13 Mar 2000

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EDITORIAL
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A Horse Tale
Doug Myers

The story of the EQUUS echo unfolding in the echo MODERATOR reads
like a Zane Gray novel of the Old West. It features some of Fido's
most notorious cow-poke locked in a feud over the fate of this horse
pasture.

The Tale: it begins with Bob Kohl, the ancestral baron of this echo,
slowly losing his grip on it. In the days when the Backbone split
into the NAB and Z1B, Bob decreed that his echo could no longer be
carried by the newly formed Z1B... possibly to rob this new
organization of the horsepower EQUUS would lend it. The result of
that decree, according to sources in MODERATOR, seems to be that the
echo could no longer reach half it's audience, and that at least one
sysop decided to leave Fidonet now that her favorite echo was no
longer available to her.

Earlier this year, the EQUUS echo fell into neglect with Bob Kohl
failing (or choosing not) to relist the echo in the required six
month intervals. According the the code of the ELIST, such echoes
are dropped from the echolist and become fair game for anyone to
homestead.

After the EQUUS echo fell from the elisting, Lesley-Dee Dylan, the
noted SuperBitch who had quarreled with Bob Kohl over water rights
(or something involving the flow of netmail) in the past staked her
own claim to EQUUS. She employed the infamous echo pirate, Bobby
Queen, to carry out the dastardly deed, and now his actions are
being branded as horse thievery by Judge Roy Witt, acting as the Law
west of the Elist Robot.

The Editorial: It's difficult for this editor to see the claimed
wrongdoings in this saga.

First, it doesn't appear that the echo EQUUS was being run for the
benefit of the echo participants in the first place... the fact that
it was used as a pawn to make some political statement in the
NAB/Z1B squabble at the expense of cutting off half of the nodes
hardly conjures a scene of benign, caring shepherding of the echo.

Secondly, the fact that it fell from the elist when all that was
needed was some form of echomail or email to updated it at any time
in a six-month period indicates that there was little concern about
the echo on Bob Kohl's part.

Bobby Queen is taken to task for relisting the echo without
subsequently offering it back to Bob Kohl. Roy Witt maintains that
this was Bobby's announced modus operandi in the past, and so it
becomes an obligation for Bobby to continue operating in the same
manner. I'm not sure how Bobby incurred this obligation, though,
FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 2 13 Mar 2000

and I'm not sure I can agree with this reasoning.

Whether Lesley-Dee has taken over the echo in an effort to do a
service to the echo participants, or whether she is simply garnering
revenge for past conflicts with Bob Kohl... it's difficult to see
how Fido gains a worse echo in either case. It appears that the
echo was "pirated" fair and square.

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FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 3 13 Mar 2000

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
=================================================================

More on TheLitterBox, http://www.TheLitterBox.org (1:109/263)
Echomail from the FIDONEWS echo
from Tony Campbell to Frank Vest
Subject: Site Review in last week's Fidonews
---------------
(Douglas, if you want to cut/paste for the snooze, be my guest...)

Frank,

Thank you for the pleasant surprise that I got at work today.
Somebody handed me a hard copy of the snooze. Surprise!

First, there is no need to protect the sender, as I already know who
it was. One of the voices of the 'Nugget Chorus', as I call my user
base, went very quiet when the others started to crescendo. MF. I
will see him later this week and I will be getting some 'ragging'
in.

Second, thank you for kindly pulling punches on some things, like
the Affiliation typo, and the html new user problem. That is much
appreciated.

Third, I want to acknoledge the real sources of that page. That
page started as a reference to myself, but open to all to use. The
credit for the large quoted what is Fidonet section goes to Andrea
Santos. The credit for the FidoNews archive goes to George Peace,
The credit for the nodediff/list archive goes to Ruth Argust. Other
credits go to John Souvestre, Marcus Fair, Robert Stoner, and many
others.

Fourth, if we are missing something, I hope others will contribute.

Take care,

Tony

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FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 4 13 Mar 2000

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COLUMNS
=================================================================

Strange Facts
*Dug up by*
[email protected]

I bet ya' didn't know:
Blaise Pascal, the celebrated French mathematician, while working as
a bookkeeper at the age of 19, invented a calculating machine in
1642.
---------------------------
The snake house of ancient Epidaurus, Greece, was visited by mental
cases whose physicians felt that the sights there could cure them by
the power of shock. (Is it too late for me? :-)
---------------------------
_CHURCH SIGN_
It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons--come hear one.
Parking is for Church patrons only.
Trespassers will be Violated...
Violators will be baptised!
---------------------------
I bet ya' didn't know:
The mosque of Mohammed Ali in Cairo, Egypt, which took 28 years to
complete, pleased the Pasha of Egypt so much that he granted a
generous pension to the architect Yusif Bulim--then he ordered him
blinded so he could never duplicate it. (1857)
---------------------------

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This Weeks Web Page
by Frank Vest
1:124/6308(.1)

What: PPoint Professional Point System
Where: http://www.alcuf.ca/ppoint.htm

Writer's note:
There are many ways to participate in Fidonet and BBSing. Many
times, the only way we think of accessing messages is by being a
User calling a BBS or a Sysop operating a BBS. The "middle ground",
if you will, is access by becoming a "Point". Of course, becoming a
Point requires a little more knowledge on the User's part and some
work on the Sysop's part. It is, however, good for both. As a Point,
the User's phone and the BBS line aren't tied up for long reading
sessions. This writer is a Point off of his BBS... Why? Read the
FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 5 13 Mar 2000

above again and you'll understand. :)

Ok... Into it:

This page isn't large and doesn't have "mega links" on it. It is the
author of PPoint's page. The page starts out with a logo for PPoint.
Under that is the copyright statement and links to other software by
Harvey Parisien. His E-Mail address is there also. It's nice to see
an author that puts the E-Mail at the top instead of at the bottom.
Made me feel good.

Next, you find a link to some screen shots of PPoint. One can get a
"feel" of how the program works from this... good idea. Under this
link are "links" to download the PPoint program and other files
needed to go with PPoint. Yes, there is a Windows and Dos version of
PPoint. This writer currently uses the Dos version under Windows. It
works very well... It's a tribute to an author that can write a Dos
program that runs well under Windows. :)

At the bottom of the page, is an invitation to join the "Points"
echo on Fidonet which Harvey Parisien moderates. I read this echo
and it is a good place to get information on Point software of all
types as well as ask questions on "how to" and such.

If you're interested in becoming a Point, drop by this site and DL
the software. Then drop into the Points echo on your favorite BBS
and ask questions. If your Sysop doesn't carry the Points echo, ask
him/her to do so and find out if s/he offers Point access.

See ya next week. Become a Point in Fidonet. :)

Frank, [email protected]

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FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 6 13 Mar 2000

=================================================================
NET HUMOR
=================================================================

Forrest Gump & St. Peter

The day finally arrives:
Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is greeted at the Pearly
Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and
Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter says "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is
filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. Tests are fairly short, but you need to
pass before you can get into Heaven".

Forrest responds "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. I was
looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance
exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test
as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test I have for you
is only three questions:

Here is the first:
What days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:
What is God's first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next
day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to
think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days the week begin
with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and
Tomorrow.

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not
what I was thinking, but.....you do have a point though, and I guess
I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer". How about
the next one?", asks St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?, "Now that one's harder", says Forrest,
"But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be
twelve."

Astounded St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven's
name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 7 13 Mar 2000

Forest says "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second,
February second, March second.....".

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with
this, and I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I
had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on
with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

Forrest replied, "Andy."

"OK, OK," said a frustrated St. Peter, "I can understand how you
came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in
the world did you came up with the name, "Andy", as the first name
of God?"

"That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied.
"I learned it from the song....
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...

Found on the web and shared with you by:
[email protected]

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The Pudding Gang
Thanks to Roy Reed

This is just too funny not to share. From an article which appeared
in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at
disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.
The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled
with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller
safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first
safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla
pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said,
"At least we'll have a bit to eat."

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing
but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were
opened.

They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold.
Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with
nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:

FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 8 13 Mar 2000

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

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FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 9 13 Mar 2000

=================================================================
COMIX IN ASCII
=================================================================

______________________________
/ \
( For he's a jolly good fellow! )
\________________ ____________/
) )
(__) //
(__) (oo) / (___)
/(oo)---\/ (o o)
/-------\/ || \ /-------\
/ | ||----|| O|| | \
* ||----|| ^^ ||---,|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Two cows COW-ngratulating a bull

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FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 10 13 Mar 2000

=================================================================
FIDONEWS INFO
=================================================================

Masthead

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, [email protected] |
| Webmaster: Jim Barchuk, [email protected] |
| Columnist: Joe Jared, 1:103/0, [email protected] |
| (Fido Via Internet Hubs column) |
| Columnist: Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, [email protected] |
| (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB") |
| Humor: Roy Reed, [email protected] |
| Features: Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1 |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince |
| Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees, |
| Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

"Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
94141, and are used with permission.

Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
Fidonews is Copyright (C) 2000 by Douglas Myers, though authors
retain rights to their contributed articles. Opinion expressed by
the authors is strictly their own. Noncommercial duplication and
distribution within Fidonet is encouraged. Authors are encouraged
to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
addresses above.

The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS. These
sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
The current and past issues are also available from the following
sources:

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- - FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1 |
| ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ |
| ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/ |
| http://www.fidonews.org |
| email subscription: [email protected] |
| (subject: help body: list) |
| ftp mail: [email protected] (subject: help) |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
FIDONEWS 17-11 Page 11 13 Mar 2000

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