F I D O N E W S Volume 16, Number 50 13 Dec 1999

F I D O N E W S Volume 16, Number 50 13 Dec 1999
+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
| The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: |
| FidoNet community | "FidoNews" |
| _ | 1-717-732-6820 1:270/720 |
| / \ | |
| /|oo \ | |
| (_| /_) | |
| _`@/_ \ _ | |
| | | \ \\ | Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720 |
| | (*) | \ )) | [email protected] |
| |__U__| / \// | |
| _//|| _\ / | |
| (_/(_|(____/ | |
| (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. |
| | -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+

__________ (___)
/| `(0 0)
/ | \ /
* |||----|||-/ *
||| |||

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Cow

Table of Contents
1. EDITORIAL ................................................ 1
Reading the 'bones ....................................... 1
2. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR .................................... 2
Memo from Santa Claus .................................... 2
3. ARTICLES ................................................. 4
Shenkenberger is R13C by acclamation! .................... 4
4. COLUMNS .................................................. 5
Ol'WDB: Barbeque 101 .................................... 5
Fidonet-related sites .................................... 6
5. NET HUMOR ................................................ 11
Engineers and Lawyers .................................... 11
6. COMIX IN ASCII ........................................... 12
Christmas Cowols ......................................... 12
7. FIDONEWS INFORMATION ..................................... 13
Masthead ................................................. 13
FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 1 13 Dec 1999

=================================================================
EDITORIAL
=================================================================

Reading the 'bones
Doug Myers

What's happening on the backbones after George Peace announced that
he'll be shutting down? I'm getting mixed signals, myself. On one
hand, Butch Walker announces that Brenda Donovan will serve as Zhub
for the NAB after George shuts down... on the other hand he
announced his own resignation effective December 15th. On the one
hand, Brenda is sure to inspire confidence in her new position, but
on the other hand this editor wonders why Bob Seaborn would only
reveal "It's already handled." when the Zone 1 Backbone inquired.

What's it going to be for the new Millennium? Are the 'bones going
to settle down to the business of moving mail, or are we going to
see more of the pointless bickering punctuated by power plays? This
editor finds prognostication very difficult... especially now that
the future is getting involved.

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FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 2 13 Dec 1999

=================================================================
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
=================================================================

Memo from Santa Claus:

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no
longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my
contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local
209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois,
Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract, I
also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with
your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba
Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my
goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however,
there are a few differences between us. Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that
reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children
leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace.
And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so
please have a empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of
my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's
fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..."
when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on
Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and
Petty."

5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are
likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does
have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words
"Back Off." The last I heard it also had other decorations on the
sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that
race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa
Claus) going wee wee on the Tooth Fairy.

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th
Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your
negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves
Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds
as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each
other.

FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 3 13 Dec 1999

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you,I'd make sure
you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over
to put presents under the tree.

And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like
"Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus Is
Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played
on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will
be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's
"All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Hank
Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It."

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus (member, North American Fairies and Elves Local 209)

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FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 4 13 Dec 1999

=================================================================
ARTICLES
=================================================================

Region 13 Coordinator Election
Carol Shenkenberger wins by Acclamation!
by Doug Myers

As of Sunday night, December 12th, the nomination period for
candidates for Region 13 Coordinator are still open, so the above
headline is premature and unofficial. However, my nomination of
Carol Shenkenberger appears to be the only one received by David
Calafrancesco, the Election Coordinator, and it appears that Carol
will be unopposed as candidate for the Coordinator office.

Unless there is a last-minute nomination and acceptance before
midnight, David will then send Carol's name to David Moufarrege as
the region's choice for Coordinator. David has pledged to appoint
the regional choice as Z1C.

Carol is presently acting as interim RC, appointed by David
Moufarrege when he vacated the post to serve as the newly elected
Zone 1 Coordinator. Carol has served as interim Coordinator with
distinction, acting to find and restore many "lost nodes" and
restore regional echomail links.

It's conceivable that an unopposed election would be viewed with
suspicion by the members of Fidonet, but in Region 13 it's more
indicative of a region which is already working together and
already made its choice. Carol is already viewed as an able and fit
successor to David Moufarrege by those normally active in regional
affairs. Further, a last minute nomination is unlikely as those who
were likely to show interest in the Coordinator's position are
already occupied. David Moufarrege, of course, has moved on to the
Zone 1 Coordinator position, appointing Jim Balcom as ZEC (Jim would
have been considered a leading contender for RC). David
Calafrancesco, though popular in the region, presently serving as
REC, and a formidable candidate had he chosen to run, eliminated
himself by accepting the Election Coordinator duties. Doug Myers,
defeated by David Moufarrege in the Z1C election, has since accepted
the position of Fidonews Editor and choose to back Carol rather than
run himself.

So, at the risk of jumping th gun a little bit, I'd like to
congratulate Region 13 on its choice for RC, and congratulate Carol
on her victory.

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FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 5 13 Dec 1999

=================================================================
COLUMNS
=================================================================

BBQ - 101:
LIGHTING CHARCOAL GRILLS
or
WHY R10 FIDONET ENGINEERS ARE FAR OUT...
by Ol'WDB

Our subject today is lighting charcoal grills. Two of our favorite
charcoal grill lighters are named Mark Luetger, and Joe Jared,
(really!!), a couple of computer programmers in the Fidonet 1:103
engineering department.

Each year, Mark and Joe hold a picnic in Mile Square Park, Fountain
Valley, Ca. for Region 10 SoCal Fidonet engineers. There they cook
hamburgers and hotdogs on a big grill, for the Region 10 Fidonet
engineers and their friends and families.

Being engineers, they began looking for practical ways to speed up
the charcoal-lighting process as the newspaper + match had failed to
do the expected job in a reasonable time. Mark and Joe put their
heads to the task of speeding up the process of infighting the
charcoal...

"We started by blowing the charcoal with a hair dryer," Mark told me
about last years picnic. He said,"Joe borrowed his mates five speed
Sassoon cordless hair blower". He continued, "Then we figured out
that it would light charcoal faster if we used a vacuum cleaner with
the hose in the air exhaust port."

If you know anything about (1) engineers and (2) Computer nerds in
general, who have their head in a computer or software for it, you
already know what is going to happened: A couple of beers later the
purpose of the charcoal-lighting shifted from cooking hamburgers to
seeing how fast they could light the charcoal.

From the vacuum cleaner, they escalated to using a propane torch,
then an acetylene torch. Then Mark and Joe started using compressed
pure oxygen, which caused the charcoal to burn much faster, because
as you recall from chemistry class, fire is essentially the rapid
combination of oxygen with a reducing agent (the charcoal).

We discovered that a long time ago, somewhere in the valley between
the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, in Fidonet's infancy, (or somewhere
along those lines). I think it was way back when George Peace was
the Fido IC. The Egyptian pyramids were still one of the eight
wonders of the world.

By this point, Mark and Joe were having a pretty good time. But in
the world of competitive charcoal-lighting, "pretty good" does not
cut the mustard. Thus, Mark and Joe hit upon the idea of using -
get ready for this *** Liquid Oxygen ***!

This is the form of oxygen used in rocket engines; it's 295 degrees
FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 6 13 Dec 1999

below zero and 600 times as dense as regular oxygen. In terms of
releasing energy, pouring liquid oxygen on charcoal is the
equivalent of throwing a live hand grenade into a 50 gallon vat of
150 proof White Lightening.

What followed was the most impressive charcoal-lighting I have ever
seen, featuring a large fireball that, according to Joe, reached
10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The charcoal was ready for cooking in, *
this has to be a world record *, 3 seconds.

Will the 3-second barrier ever be broken? Will engineers come up
with a new, more powerful charcoal-lighting technology? It's
something for all of us to ponder NEXT summer as we plan the R10
SoCal picnic!

Basically, the grill vaporized," said Mark. "We were thinking of
using Ol'WDB's Gas BBQ next year... it has wheels and we may get it
up to speed in as little as 3 - 4 minutes with automatic lighter,
and water sprayer to cool the fast ignition of the meats".

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! = New entries this week
? = not responding
?? = unknown content, doesn't look like fidonet

. -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- .
| FIDONET-RELATED SITES |
` -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- '
Last update: Dec 11, 1999

FidoNet
Homepage: http://www.fidonet.org
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http://www.tnl-online.com/andy/rgn10.htm
Net 103: http://www.webworldinc.com/club103/
! Net 203: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8687/net203index.html
Region 11: http://oeonline.com/~garyg/region11/
Net 2410: http://oeonline.com/~garyg/net2410/
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Region 14:
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Region 17: http://www.nwstar.com/~region17/
Region 18: http://techshop.pdn.net/fido/
FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 7 13 Dec 1999

Region 19: http://members.home.net/hbh3/r19
Net 124: http://www.startext.net/np/net124
http://texoma.net/~flv
Net 130: http://www.startext.net/homes/net130
Net 393: http://www.chatter.com/~wb/
Zone 1 Elist http://members.xoom.com/echolist/

Zone 2: http://www.z2.fidonet.org
! ftp://sstar/fidonet/zone2 (Zone 2 nodelists etc.)
Region 20: http://www.fidonet.pp.se (in Swedish)
Region 23: http://www.fido.dk (in Danish)

Region 24: http://www.swb.de/personal/flop/gatebau.html (German)
Fido-IP: http://home.nrh.de/fido/ (English/German)
Region 25: http://www.literary.freeserve.co.uk/net2502/
Region 26: http://www.nemesis.ie
REC 26: http://www.nrgsys.com/orb
Region 27: http://telematique.org/ft/r27.htm
Region 29: http://www.rtfm.be/fidonet/ (French)
Region 30: http://www.fidonet.ch (German)
? Region 33: http://www.fidoitalia.net (Italian)
Region 34: http://www.pobox.com/cnb/r34.htm (Spanish)
REC34: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/4552/
Region 36: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/7207/
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Region 41: http://www.fidonet.gr (Greek/English)
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Net 5010: http://fido.tu-chel.ac.ru/ (Russian)
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Zone 3: http://www.z3.fidonet.org

Zone 4:
Region 80: http://fidobrasil.8m.com (Portuguese)
Region 90:
Net 904: http://members.tripod.com/~net904 (Spanish)

Zone 5: http://www.eastcape.co.za/fidonet/

Zone 6: http://www.z6.fidonet.org
Region 65: http://www.cfido.com/fidonet/cfidochina.html
(Chinese)

Fidonet Via Internet Hubs

a @ preceding an individual's name implies a virtual email address.
The email is translated as follows [email protected] will
automatically route to the appropriate individual's email. Anyone
in this list will also receive routed notice of this feature. In my
case, it would still be [email protected], but you get the
idea.
FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 8 13 Dec 1999

Also, as information is provided to me, I will be adding a latency
field to each node, which is defined as the maximum time between
when the message is received, and when it is sent on to other nodes,
or available to be sent onward, defined in minutes. A latency of !
implies that there is an immediate response, and an attempt to
deliver immediately after processing, or a "MinuteMail System", as
it were.

v-email flag [email protected]
| email address or
Node# | Operator | Facilities (*) | Speed,| Basic Rate
| | |latency|
-----------+-------------------+----------------+-------+------------
Zone 1 | | | |
10/3 @ Brenda Donovan | FTP,UUE,BinkP | T1?,30| $??/$10
10/345 @ Todd Cochrane | FTP | T1,! | n/c
12/12 | Ken Wilson | FTP | T1 | $24mo.
13/25 @ Jim Balcom | FTP | 56k | $20mo.
103/5 @ Mark Luetger | BinkP | 384k,!| n/c
103/153 @ Michael Box | BinkP | aDSL | n/c
103/301 @ Joe Jared | BinkP,FTP | aDSL,!| n/c
105/8 | Russ Johnson | FTP,BinkP,VMoT | 384k | n/c
105/72 @ Larry James | FTP | aDSL | $5/$15 mo.
106/1 @ Matt Bedynek | BinkP, FTP | DS-3,5| $5/$15 mo
106/6018 | Lawrence Garvin | FTP, VMoT | aDSL | n/c,60
107/453 @ Jeffrey Estevez| FTP,BinkP,VMoT,UUE| 56k,60| $10 mo.
140/1 @ Bob Seaborn | FTP | T3,30 | $5/$16
167/133 | Stephen Monteith | BinkP | 128k+ | n/c
211/417 @ Korombos | BinkD,UUE,FTP | T1 | n/c
246/160 @ Mason Vye | FTP, UUE | 56K | n/c
271/140 @ Tom Barstow | UUE,FTP | T1 | n/c
280/169 | Brian Greenstreet | FTP | 33.6 | $2mo.
342/3 | Richard Dodsworth | BinkP,FTP | 128K+ | n/c
396/1 @ John Souvestre | FTP,VMoT | T1 | $10/mo
396/45 | Marc Lewis | UUE | 33.6 | $26/yr
2401/305 | Peter Rocca | FTP,UUE | T1 | unkn
2424/101 | Kari Suomela | FTP,VMoT,BinkP,UUE| T1,! | $25.00/mo
2604/104 | Jim Mclaughlin | FTP,VMoT,UUE | 33.6 | $1mo
3613/2 @ [email protected] | UUE | 28.8 | n/c
2613/404 @ David Moufarrege | BinkP,FTP,VMoT | 128k+,!| n/c
2624/306 @ D. Calafrancesco | VMoT | 33.6 | n/c
3632/84 | Robert Todd |FTP,VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 57.6k | n/c
3639/93 @ Ross Cassell | FTP, BinkP |128K+,!| n/c
3651/9 | Jerry Gause | FTP,VMoT | 33.6 | $3/$6
3803/1 @ Ben Ritchey | UUE | 56k | n/c
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zone 2 |
20/11 | Henrik Lindhe | BinkP | ??? | n/c
31/1 | Gabriel Plutzar | BinkP | T1+ | n/c
203/600 | Mikael Karlsson | UUE | 64k | n/c
221/360 @ Tommi Koivula | BinkP,UUE | ??? | n/c
236/205 @ Michael Kaaber | BinkP | ??? | n/c
246/2098 | Volker Imre | BinkP | ??? | n/c
284/800 | Jeroen VanDeLeur | FTP,UUE | 64k | n/c
292/626 | Filip Ruymen | Binkp, UUE | 128K+ | n/c
292/2003 | Eric Vaneberck | BinkP | 768k | n/c
FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 9 13 Dec 1999

301/1 | Peter Witschi | BinkP | 768k | n/c
332/807 | Roberto Mascolo | BinkP | ??? | n/c
335/535 @ Mario Mure | BinkP,VMot,UUE | 64k | n/c
335/610 | Gino Lucrezi | UUE | 33.6 | n/c
344/201 | Julio Garcia | BinkP | ??? | n/c
346/3 @ Carlos Navarro | UUE | ??? | n/c
382/100 | Sinisa Burina | BinkP | ??? | n/c
406/555 | Marius Kaizerman | BinkP | ??? | n/c
406/555 | Ofir Michaeli & | BinkP | ??? | n/c
423/81 | Milos Bajer | BinkP | ??? | n/c
464/4077 | Serguei Trouchelle| UUE | 19.2 | n/c
465/204 | Va Milushnikov | BinkP | 33.6k | n/c
469/84 | Max Masyutin | VMoT | 256k | n/c
480/112 | Adam Sarapata| FTP, VMoT, UUE,BinkP| 128k | n/c
2411/413 @ Dennis Dittrich | UUE,BinkP | 64k | n/c
2446/301 | Lothar Behet | BinkP,VMoT,UUE,FTP | 64K | n/c
2474/275 | Christian Emig | UUE | 64k | unkn
5030/115 | Andrey Podkolzin | BinkP | ??? | n/c
5100/8 | Egons Bush | BinkP | ??? | n/c
5020/1159 | Gennady Kudryashoff | UUE | 33.6 | n/c
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zone 3
633/260 @ Malcolm Miles | FTP,BinkP | 64K | n/c
640/954 | Rick Van Ruth | FTP,VMot,UUE,BinkP| 56K| n/c
774/605 @ Barry Blackford|BinkP,VMoT:10023,ifcico,FTP |33.6| n/c

--------------------------------------------------------------
Zone 4
905/100 | Fabian Gervan | VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 128k | n/c
902/18 | Javier Tejedor | UUE | 33,6 | n/c

--
* FTP = Internet File Transfer Protocol
* VMoT = Virtual Mailer over Telnet (various)
* UUE = uuencode<->email type transfers
* BinkP = front end mailer for TCPIP networks

----------------------------------------------
Fidonet oriented news servers

news.osirusoft.com
news.tardis.net

Fidonet oriented chat rooms.

room #fidonet 5PM (PDT 11AM GMT) Sundays
irc.isonline.com
irc.killaz-r-us.com
irc.korombos.org

----------------------------------------------

Please send updates, corrections and suggestions to
Joe Jared, 1:103/301, [email protected], and
complaints to [email protected] .
FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 10 13 Dec 1999

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FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 11 13 Dec 1999

=================================================================
NET HUMOR
=================================================================

Engineers and Lawyers
Thanks to Roy Reed

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a
conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy
tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single
ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?"
asked one of the three lawyers.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective
seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close
the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed,
the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on
the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens
just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the
engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they
get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return
trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket
at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one
perplexed lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers.

When they board the train, the three lawyers cram into a
restroom and the three engineers cram into another one
nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the
engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom
where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says,
"Ticket, please."

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FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 12 13 Dec 1999

=================================================================
COMIX IN ASCII
=================================================================

_ - ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ - _
/ |~ |~ \
| |~ o| |~ o| |
/ \ o| o| /
/ \ /
/ / ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
/ / .
/* *\ / ./\.
/\ /\ .//.\.
**** **** .///\\\.
(oo) (oo) ////\\\\.
/-------\/ \/-------\ ||
/| || || |\ ~~
* ||----|| ||----|| *
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Christmas Cowols

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FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 13 13 Dec 1999

=================================================================
FIDONEWS INFORMATION
=================================================================

Masthead

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, [email protected] |
| Webmaster: Jim Barchuk, [email protected] |
| Columnist: Joe Jared, 1:103/0, [email protected] |
| (Fido Via Internet Hubs column) |
| Columnist: Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, [email protected] |
| (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB") |
| Humor: Roy Reed, [email protected] |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince |
| Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees, |
| Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

"Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
94141, and are used with permission.

Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
Fidonews is Copyright (C) 1999 by Douglas Myers, though authors
retain rights to their contributed articles. Opinion expressed by
the authors is strictly their own. Noncommercial duplication and
distribution within Fidonet is encouraged. Authors are encouraged
to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
addresses above.

The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS. These
sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
The current and past issues are also available from the following
sources:

+ -- -- -- -- -- -- - FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
| |
| Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1 |
| ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ |
| ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/ |
| http://www.fidonews.org |
| email subscription: [email protected] |
| (subject: help body: list) |
| ftp mail: [email protected] (subject: help) |
| |
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

FIDONEWS 16-50 Page 14 13 Dec 1999

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