Date: Fri 23 Oct 87 22:15:44
From: Ryan Hunter
To: Sean Barrett
Subj: wedding/handfasting ceremony
[The following wedding ceremony was written to provide for Pagans
who must of necessity be wed in the presence of the uninitiated
who are not pagan and are perhaps unaware that the bride and
groom are pagan. Replace the words Bride and Groom below with the
names of the happy couple. This ceremony was used by both my wife
and myself and by my sister and her husband. They modified the
text at the point below where it says "loving each other wholly
and completely" to add the phrase "forsaking all others" as they
are into monogamy. Either version works beautifully, I recommend
the participants rewrite where necessary to form a legal contract
that they can and will keep. It is easy to avoid being an
oathbreaker if you only swear to that that you will keep and
avoid swearing to something just because the other party wants it
or because it might be "expected" by the family. Notice: parts of
this ritual were cribbed from the writings of others. I apologise
in advance for failure to reference sources but after the
fifteenth rewrite we had forgotten where we got the text and what
was and what was not original to us. I doubt if there are quotes
from other sources longer than paragraph length and thus should
not be a copyright problem. If you see something that is yours,
please send me mail and I will reference you in the future. Our
thanks to those who paved the way. --Ryan Hunter]
[PRIEST] We have come together here in celebration of the joining
together of ____bride______ and ____groom______. There are many
things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining
together of two souls,has come our way through all paths of
belief, and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge
is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give
all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope
to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and
the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. The law of
life is love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing,
without love, death has no redemtion. Love is anterior to Life,
posterior to Death, initial of Creation and the exponent of
Earth. If we learn no more in life, let it be this.
Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable
thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its
cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With
full understanding of this, Groom and Bride have come here today
to be joined as one in marriage.
Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage,
but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and
taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has
her family's blessing.
Bride, is it true that you come of your own free will and
accord?
[BRIDE] Yes, it is true.
[PRIEST] With whom do you come and whose blessings accompany you.
[FATHER] She comes with me, her father, and is accompanied by all
of her family's blessings.
[PRIEST] Please join hands with your betrothed and listen to that
which I am about to say.
Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth
pass, remember...
Like a stone should your love be firm like a star should your
love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect
guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind
you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy,
and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be
close, but not too close. Possess one another, yet be
understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will
come, but they will pass quickly.
Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and let not
the ways of the unenlightened give you unease, for God is with
you always.
Groom, I have not the right to bind thee to Bride, only you have
this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place
your ring in her hand.
[GROOM] It is my wish.
[PRIEST] Bride, if it be your wish for Groom to be bound to
you, place the ring on his finger. (places ring on Groom's left
ring finger)
Bride I have not the right to bind thee to Groom only you have
this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place
your ring in his hand.
[BRIDE] It is my wish.
[PRIEST] Groom, if it be your wish for Bride to be bound to you,
place the ring on her finger.(places ring on Bride's left
ring finger)
(to Groom) Repeat after me:
I, (grooms full name), in the name of the spirit of God that
resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood
and the love that resides within my heart, take thee (bride's
full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my
chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess
thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught
can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love
thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in
health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we
shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change
thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people,
and thy ways as I respect myself.
(to Bride)
I (bride's full name), in the name of the spirit of God that
resides within us all, by the life that courses within my
blood, and the love that resides within my heart, take thee,
(Groom's full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be
my chosen one. To desire and be desired by thee, to possess
thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught
can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love
thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in
health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we
shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change
thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people,
and thy ways as I respect myself.
[PRIEST]
(hands chalice to the groom, saying:) May you drink your fill
from the cup of love.
(Groom holds chalice to bride while she sips then bride takes
chalice and holds it to groom while he sips. The chalice is then
handed back to the Priest who sets it on the table. Next the
Priest takes the plate of bread, giving it to the groom. Same
procedure repeated with bread, groom feeding bride and bride
feeding groom.)
By the power vested in me by God and the State of Alabama, I now
pronounce you husband and wife. May your love so endure that its
flame remains a guiding light unto you.
Sean, I hope this helps. We really loved it. BTW, to all concerned,
after severe problems, Fawn and I have rededicated ourselves to making
our marriage happy and productive. Thanks to excellent counselling and a
genuine desire on both our parts to succeed in our relationship, we have
weathered (at least for now) our first major storm in our young (2 1/2
yrs. ) marriage. These vows, and a carefull consideration of them have
helped us.
Blessed be,
-Ryan
