The Magical Record of
The Scarlet Woman
Alostrael 31-666-31
Leah Hirsig
From January 15, 1924
to
December 27, 1924 e.v.
Mss Diaries of Disciples
Leah Hirsig
Cat No. DD1
Alostrael's Visions
Copied from Diaries of
The Beast 666 and Alostrael 31-666-31
beginning Luna [Monday] October 29, 1923 e.v.
(Luna in 1o Aries, An. xix)
Nefta, Tunisie Cefalu, Sicily
1
(Visions continued)
Note - These visions recorded by myself are quite insuffi-
cient, fragmentary, and concentration bad.
I.E Jan. 15. (L)
Concentrating on War Engine. Nothing except a reference to
CCXX, III.26.
II. F Jan. 17. (22L)
9 PM: During and after Amoun Invocation I asked for Light
(IEHI AUD). Thin stalked leaves with heavy birds on them as
in a previous vision. I said ``I understand'' and had a
feeling of something definitely accomplished.
Sater - Preliminary invocation.
Started vision but couldn't hold it. A lion turned into a
beetle which was really a sun
7o = 4o
asked for someone of higher grade
8o = 3o XI - a Dog. And no more!
III. C Jan. 18.
9 PM Ra-Hoor-Khuit Invocation. Asked for light. stir not
(heard). Elixir (seen)
IV. G Jan. 19.
5:30 PM Preliminary Invocation (33L) War Engine Met a dragon
- who looked mild after
93
Flashes of A, etc. A man - his name - AUM - 84 Showed me
that War Enging was of metal (very fine), and to be hurled.
Not electricity. Danger of being seen hurling? No.
V.A Jan. 20.
7:30-8:30 (?) PM - A period of silence in which to invoke
Neptune to look after OPV and Mss. An anchor and a white
bird flying over it.
2
VI. Sater - Preliminary Invocation
Concentration - W.E.
(I forget much of what I saw. A man in a simple dark
robe carrying a red heart appeared eventually and
showed me a room where a man, a woman, and a child
were eating in a very poor room. I got the impression
that the W.E. energy would be got for us from by such
a person - 93 changed the room and it was illuminated
by an 11 pointed star.)
I was shown a rocky country - perhaps Russia - presumably
the place where the energy would be found or created. More -
but nothing definite.
VII. (grass) B 11:15 AM Jan. 22(?)
OPV's S. Complex had nothing to do with me personally in
particular - it was merely the ``longing to be planted.'' He
makes this an excuse for not doing things.
VIII. 5:30 PM (11 L)
Clear vision - nothing.
IX. Jan. 24 (22 dr: L.)
4:30 PM - Preliminary Invocation Ra-Hoor-Khuit Invocation
Ragged - Disconnected. O seem as a spherical object.
Man in dark robe - red heart - in long room richly decorated
and with a long table in it. Couldn't hold vision - trav-
elled over all sorts of country, but nothing definite: 5:00
PM
X.Jan 30. 2:15 PM (Grass)
I have the True Intrepretation of A Dillar, a Dollar, etc.
XI. C Feb. 8
[This began a series of 11 ceremonies invoking R.H.K.]
An excellent Pentagram. Read Chapter III, CCXX - Impromptu
invocation of R.H.K. asking for Light on Chapter III. All
this, the reading I got a strong impression that the printed
copies of CCXX should not bt used or circulate. I very
nearly destroyed my own. We must fulfil CCXX - III before
anything else.
3
Invocation of RA-HOOR-KHUIT
O Thou God of War and of Vengence, Hear me, Alostrael, etc.
who invokes Thee to help us to do Thy Work.
Be Thou our strength, our force, and vigor of our arms,
as Unit is our refuge, and Hadit our Light, that we
may go on, go on, in Thy strength, and fight as brothers.
Hear me, Thou Lord of the Double Wand of Power. Unto Thee
do I eat this cake of light, that it may breed lust
and power of lust in me.
Hear Thou me, O Lord of Silence and of Strength. Show me Thy
way that I may follow Thee in it.
Give Thou of Thy Wisdom to Our Lord, The Beast 666, whom
Nuit has called her Scribe, Ankh-af-na-khonsu, the Priest of
Princes; whom Hadit Hails at the Prophet of Nu, the Prophet
of Had, the Prophet of Ra-Hoor-Khu; and whom Thou hast
termed O Blessed Beast, that He may comment with his Three-
fold Book of Law with hadit burning in his heart.
Thee, in whose name is hidden and glorious, a splendor
I Invoke, I greet
Thy presence, O Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
Unity uttermost showed!
I adore the might of Thy breath.
Supreme and terrible God
That maketh the Gods and death
To tremble before Thee: -
I adore Thee.
Appear on the throne of Ra!
Open the ways of the Khu!
Lighten the ways of the Ka
The ways of the Khabs run through
To stir me or to still me!
Aum! Let it fill me!
XII. G Feb 9 (Grass & L)
Wrote Invocation - used it in Pentagram - Very forceful.
4
Grass
1. Our ``island'' should be governed by the ``Wise men''
Defined - Those who have a knowledge of Nature, i.e.,
Initiate:
Our island - low, flat tongue of land, mountains in back-
ground (real colony). Another shore wooded, birds, nothing
distinctive, might be anywhere.
XIII. A Feb. 10
Invocation - Sabatini (Born July 8, 1899, Palermo 4:30 PM)
in sort of trance.
XIV. K Feb. 11
Invocation - Vision Sabitini
Vision #1, Arturo Sabatini
He sees a white house. Inside the house are lignted candles.
There are 5 people, 3 steps, 6 candles. There is a rug on
the floor. A domed roof. An image of bronze. One man with a
beard, clothed in a blue cape, and on hishead a white mitre
embroidered with gold. His belt is as his mitre. A statue of
(?) Thelema - has a long cap on its head. The seer sees only
half of this figure. He is 62,000 miles away from Cefalu.
Where? (In our country). On addressing the bearded man
(93), the reply is: A prophet -
BROVIE
His name
BENY
Then a cloud gradually enveloped the entire scene, and the
seer returned to earth making the Sign of Harpocrates.
5
XV. E Feb. 12
3 pipes concentrating on ``Strength from R.H.K.'' 8 PM Invo-
cation (Pentagram). Vision #2 Sabitini:
Vision No. 2. Arturo Sabatini
In the desert - hear the sea - a white cloth very high.
Little by little the cloth becomes transparent. Behind it is
a fire - something burning (2 pieces of wood ranged as a
cross). High flame. Many people - some of them black, naked,
and hold spears in their hands. They dance round the fire. A
man is tied to the pieces of wood; the wind moves the flames
- he sees an arm. Flames disappear gradually. The people are
laughing - sitting in a circle. The fire is out. They all
rise and take the ashes and scatter them over the desert.
The cloth again - it becomes more and more opaque. Darkness.
This means?
A black shadow tells Arturo to explain it himself. He says
418
and asks his name.
NECH 3
He appears to the seer because he saw him. His message?
93 93/93
He will talk to Arturo when he is alone doing meditation. He
says he can't talk now. He has gone away. He is one of the 5
of last night's vision.
Arturo now finds himself walking on a path among palms - no
houses.
XVI. B Feb. 13
3 pipes, 22 L. - Worship Hadit. Wine - Worship Nuit. No Pen-
tagram.
XVII. F Feb. 14
3:10 PM Msbtn. Reverence to R.H.K.
Pentagram Ritual 8:10 PM - Sabitini Vision:
6
Vision No. 3. Arturo Sabitini
I ask him to try to get BENY of first vision. No result.
He sees an island - ships - men. People coming to and fro,
men working on walls.
Name of island? NAD (Written by Seer who knows no Greek).
They are busy building walls.
93 418
bring no reply. They finish work.
Why is the seer here?
He is assisting. A force carried him there. When the work is
finished he will get message. They are fortifying.
Ne now sees the island more clearly. There are large trees -
mountains in the background. It is a new island. Large - it
has a long low promentory. The central part is high. 1000
leagues from the shore.
Ships - 11 large ones and one small one. This latter has a
tent effect in the middle. These boats are all carrying
materials.
93 93/93
The men all bow their heads.
XVIII. C
3:10 PM Msbtd. - Reverence to R.H.K. V.L. took oath to go on
with his Prob. work.
XIX. G Feb 16.
Pentagram Ritual. Ninette read Chapter III. 4 PM 22L.
Worship of R.H.K.
A Feb. 17
4 PM. 22L. Asana, Preliminary Invocation. R.H.K. Invocation.
Pentagram Ritual. Mantra after Invocation. Very fine. A bird
form with a serpent's head appears. It became a hawk (418)
facing me. I got some word or other, but not distinct or
distinctive enough to remember.
Asana till 9:16 (24 minutes) and didn't know it.
Arturo has not appeared! Hausi said ``I saw you talking with
R.H.K.''
7
K Feb. 18
Pentagram - Invocation. Idea to write Maude Whitney!!!
E Feb 19
Pentagram Ritual. 8:45 (last of 11 Invocations to R.H.K.)
also welcome of A into ]. Arturo arrived a few minutes
before (after a day and a night in jail). 5 gr X. 3 L. 11H
(to sample and inspire). Good invocation.
9 PM ``I hereby declare that the A has entered the sign of ]
and we shall celebrate this event after the ceremony with a
feast, as being one step nearer to the accomplishment of the
G.W., the Estab. of the L. of T.''
I ended the invocation with ``May He deal hardly with them,
and we go on, go on in His Strength.''
Feast - champagne, cognac, in which we got very drunk.
A Feb 24
All day invoking and worshipping Hadit.
7:56-8:08 - concentration. General stillness of body and
mind.
8:13-25 - Old mantra - Oh so easy though.
B Feb 27
Reviewed Oath. Concentration - N.G.
G Mar 1
Msbtd - (alone, Dionysus) R.M. from W. Took CDN.
A Mar 2
Msbtd. - R.M. from W. 5 PM 11 L. CCXX-III. 5:19 Bornless One
- Mantra - Asana (16 mins).
K Mar 3
22 L. before Tea. 10:22 PM Verse to concentrate on is: II-
53. Thou art emphatically my chosen one ...
E Mar 4
Grass. Even a fellow with a keen sense of humor cannot
appreciate the sense of humor in the fellow under grass.
B Mar 5
2 goes of L. 3 Cdn. - no noticeable effects. 8:40 PM CDN.
8
G Mar 6
1 PM Invocation Jupiter. Letter to Bill OPV Windram. Tele.
to S.P. (on Altar) Renewed Oath.
C Mar 7
Msbtd. again & again. M O N E Y.
G Mar 8
1 PM Invocation of R.H.K. prefaced by Oath as per CCXX - III
- 44.
B Mar 12
After grass and lunch. Lust of Result - Can (verb in impera-
tive mode) be object or purose (be sure it is caused and not
lost) concentrate on the act or subject or what not, enjoy
it fully - but keep the object or purpose well carried.
F Mar 13
Splendid Invocation of Jupiter. Cable rent to S.P. on next
morning as just before ceremony the Telegraph boys told us
800 lire had arrived from OPV.
G Mar 15
Preached Law to Prof. ... from Palermno. 8:20 PM Pentagram
Ritual alone - renewing Oath - taking S.W. Oath - (3 CDN).
A Mar 16
Msbtd. 100 Pounds from S.P. 6:40 PM Opus I - C. (A. Saba-
tini). 100 Pounds from S.P.
E Mar 18
Msbtd. Physical relief. Preached Law to 6 Monks at Gihal
mamma.
B Mar 19
2:15 PM 11 L. (1 CDN) Concentration - III - 44 - 1st part.
Read Resolution & write Beresford. 6:10 PM (real time 5:30 -
clocks crazy) 11 L. 1 CDN. concentrating on Word of Equinox
- Began R.H.K. Invocation, but only got 2 or 3 words going
when
NOV
and then completed
NOVEM
flashed through my mind. Inspiration to write D'Annunzio and
send him a copy of Mortadello.
9
F Mar 20
Reply from S.P. - unintelliglble! but not money. Pentagram
Ritual 9 PM - I declare in the absence of the Beast that the
Password of the Past 6 mos. was no longer valid and that I
accepted the word (not mentioning it) subject to the
approval of The Beast. 10:30 PM. Opus III (C) A.S. and
Ninette - A perfect Operation of Love under Will. Object:
COMPLETE RECOVERY OF OUR LORD THE BEAST.
G Mar 22
3 PM - 22 L. (Concentration) A letter to G. D'Annunzio.
Result - an inscription in Mortadello as follows:
93 to G.D'A. from The S.W., the concubine of the B. 666
(commonly called Aleister Crowley) who in May of last year
was expelled from Italy seuza ragione data that the great
Italian Poet may meditate more deeply on the deplorable con-
dition of his country which has been the home of English
poets for centuries.
Abbey of T. Cefalu 93 93/93 A in , Ano XX - Aeon of Horus.
PARIS
Apr 1
22 L. To concentrate my thoughts preparatory to seeing A.C.
Result - All thoughts fled leaving me with
``My whole being calls out to you to see us thro' this
crisis.''
I used this as my opening speech and then the ideas flowed.
Apr 3
Letters - inspired ones. Later 13 L. Renewed my Oath after
losing my head re K & C of H.G.A.
``Part of my Formula is the 4th Power of the Sphinx.''
I also felt (for the first time) purged of the Oaths taken
and broken (June 1920).
Apr 6
Said good-bye to a part of myself that I have long wanted to
lose: self-pity and a feeling of inferiority.
10
Apr 8
What shall I do re Barucier's demand ``Pay or go by G?''
Immediate response: ``Do nothing, Trust the Gods!''
And I followed this in perfect faith.
Apr 11 C
I fully decided to take the injunction of Apr 8 literally &
I have stuck to it. I wait for an unmistakable sign, till I
do anything further.
Apr 13 A
666 better!!!
Apr 15 E
22 L. Result - Ninette should not send her deeds to the Old
Grandmother.
Apr 16 B to Apr 20 K
Representative for Cecil Jones called. Moneys came in from
several sources.
Apr 23 B
Msbtd. - Light (No results as far as I can see.)
Apr 27 A
Yi - What shall be my immediate action? Ans. Air of Air
LXII, Act as circumstances warrant. Some great change com-
ing. Be pliable, elastic, but penetrating, ready to take
advantage of anything that turns up.
Mantra - Unity, etc.
Two quite foreign thoughts in the midst of the usually ordi-
nary message:
1 Coney Island - I there suddenly
2 I playing Funeral March from Beethoven. This brought
about ``normal thoughts'' re OPV death of 666, ---, also of
child - and the Mantra stopped.
Apr 28 A
Formulated
11
May 1919 E.J. Feast - Poupee conceived
20 Little Boy conceived (Cefalu)
21 Ceremony I.
22 London - D.F.
23 Explusion - Tunis.
24 ? Vavin
25
Poupee - A.C. Paris, LT. A.C. Paris, R.L.'s death, A.C.
Paris beat B.
Apr 29
666 delivered his message to Mary Butts & we talked to Cecil
Maitland.
Apr 30
Beast very ill - a part of last spasm, for
F May 1, 1924,
we were ejected from 50 rue Vavine, and the query above (Apr
28) for 1924 could be filled in. Also see Yi Divination Apr.
27!!!
May 1-20
We nursed the child at 6 Rue Jolin. Cecil Jones coming to
terms slowly. OPV thro' the worst of his troubles.
May 10
A break-down threatened us.
May 16
Sullivan, Kennedy, Cul Solar & Jones, the American lawyer! -
Three kings + !!!
May 14
Take Oath to cast out pride from my heart. Cut AK on my left
forearm - Invoked R.H.K. and said over and over again
``There is a need for blood.''
12
May 15
Xol Solar Signed Oath in Silence Diary. Several moneys have
come in.
May 19
Re: news of possible expulsion of all from Cefalu. 11:45 AM
Cannot sleep. Thoughts troubling me. Then I wrote:
1. 1920-21 666 had the opportunity of ``Sacrificing'' the
C.P. Stock - i.e., heaving it circulated with what appeared
a great loss to him.
2. Explusion of whole colony - It is up to the Gods to
``save'' the ``valuables'' there. See my Diary for more of
this.
Expenses at Hotel for 12 days = 573.00. For 1 Day = 47.75
per day.
May 20 E
Chellas S. at M. Retirement started.
May 21
Jones is giving in.
May 24
I want to do away with the words Science & Art.
May 27
Visit to Com. of Police. Keys.
10:00 PM Opus I 666 - Successful retirement.
May 30
10:00 PM Opus II - 31-666-31 - Msbtd. Help for V.L. (who is
very ill).
May 31
XUL Solar came out (8:30?) PM and rushed back to Paris.
Pd. Hotel 535.75+25.25+12(tips)=573.00 Fr
from May 20 - June 1 i.e., for 12 days.
Also several meals out, not recorded (Paris trip, etc) but
will keep weekly account beginning tomorrow.
Magical Diary of Alostrael 31-666-31
13
``Au Cadran Blue'' Chelles, Seine et Marne, France
June 1, 1924 e.v. 10:30 PM A
XUL Solar has not yet shown up. He needs a severe programme.
Today, I spent most of my time writing a long letter with
enclosures of various kinds to O.P.V., also copying letter
to Alabama people. The daily payment plan is already getting
on my nerves. Tired, but not nervous.
June 2 9 AM K
Raining again. Breakfast at 8:15. 666 gone back to sleep. I
continue with my letters:
Fire Water
12:30 PM My opinion is that one does not really get a shot
at one's complexes until one has managed to eliminate the
influences of convention.
1:25 PM 6 dr G. + rum + wine at lunch.
2:40 PM (after lunch) Quite uncomfortable - but 666 wants
his books from the P.O., so after telling him a fet thoughts
(re later) I went. Returned - raining like hell - Tea. Ideas
connected with convention and complex. To get at people's
``conventions'' trouble I suggest two main lines:
1 for the simple - ask the question ``What troubles you
most in life.''
2 for the more complex animal - Force him with a list of
all the crimes? possible and ask him to mention the one that
he thinks worst ``wicked'' or ``disgusting'' or some such
term.
Ate no dinner. Bed early, after short walk.
June 3 E 9:50 AM
All ready to go to Paris. I await letter from Pre Catalan.
June 4 B 11 AM
I went to Paris and everything seemed to go wrong - but I
survived it. Bed at 9.
Long dreams - woke at 3 AM and then slept until around 7.
My fountain pen has arrived. Behold the result!
14
Yes, I called on Xul Solar - he was ``in bed'' as usual. I
waited 12 minutes and then beat it ... I await an answer!
Dictation from 3 to 7 (with tea in between). 666 in bed all
day, not ill, but oh so tired! Raining like hell all day -
bloody weather.
9 PM 666 & Ethyl - How I hate this business starting again!
It is a beastly stink to those not using it. I have been
trying all day to sew a bib. Everytime I get the thing in my
hands something or somebody interrupts.
June 5 2:30 PM F
A short resume.
Last night 666 & Ethyl wanted a quite dark room so I sat me
at the window and drank rum, smoked cigarettes until Cadram
began to cut up. He ran away from Marie and hid under our
bed. I spent some time in helping to catch the other dog
which of course we didn't do.
Slept well but 666 woke me 6 times one of which was the
arrival of XUL Solar (so he thought 0 and he was right - for
this AM Marie announced him and shortly after he announced
himself.)
Received letter from Goiran - cheque 154.96. Send Knickers &
letter to Suzanne. Lunch at 12:30. 666 sleeping now - Letter
to Sullivan ready, also copying one to Bill which I doubt
will ever be ready.
June 6 C
9 AM I had planned to write up my diary every evening but
there is always something to prevent. Last night it was Sidi
Bou Ali - Notes in 666's diary. This morning 7:10-15 AM Opus
III (A) I did reverence to R.H.K. 666? Bright sunny day.
Hurrah! 3 PM Out for lunch, only we turned back and got here
at 1 PM. 666 sleeping - I want a hat! Headachy, tired and
heavy. A long dull (though bright) day. 41 g. w Turban to
XUL S. - no noticeable effects.
June 7 G 2:30 PM
Stupid day - it's clear but dull. We financed our hat
already home. 666 not yet strong.
15
June 8 11:45 AM A
Movies last night. Great ful. 666 talked to XUL S. undil
goodness knows when - every once in a while his rashing
voice so jarred on me that I wanted to scream. When this was
not the case, I heard the pipe going or the tea being drunk!
All this was relieved by Opus IV (C) (To become the Babalon
I need to be) 666? some time before 3AM. I went quite wile.
Received tobacco a few minutes ago but no other mail. Hell!
Have not and cannot decide about Hardelot Big fees today
June 9 K
Rumpus at Hotel - negress. XUL S. to Paris.
June 10 E
Beast to Paris. Copied letters, fancies, divinations, etc.
666 back at 6:40.
June 11 B
Woke at 5. Hell! It's earlier every morning. We had ``early
tea'' before 7 and breakfast about 8:30. 1 PM 666 in bed
still (having lunch there). I stayed in bed till 10 myself.
It is rainy again. 666 needs a big wallop from a big nigger
wench.
June 12 F
666 to Paris. Came home by 8:16. Did not expect him so I
went to bed with my Turban on. It came off when my Lion
showed up. Slept late - after midnight - Wrote a long long
letter to O.P.V.
June 13 C
Up before 8 but very sleepy. Letters - too late for Paris
trains 11 L - it rained, so I am glad. Tried to telegraph
O.P.V. but after waiting 1/2 hrs for information I thought
on the whole it would be savig time to send a P.C. XUL Solar
being waked up.
June 14 G
Up at 9 tho woke before 7. It's damp and chilly. Between
2:30-3:30 PM (after a Turban) Opus V - (C) 666 I kept my
mind off anything.
Msbtd. Opus VI - shortly after V - Ra-Hoor-Khuit (not having
been satisfied by it.) I had the feelig of being a ? and
generally then a penis which became gradually ready for
action and then the gradual ``going down.''
It was a great experience.
16
Preoccupied all day and evening, but enjoying every moment
in a quiet sort of way.
Dinner and cinema at Challas. Home after midnight. Nstn. up
day (i.e. started late at night).
June 15
Rain again. Stores in the kitchen drove us out to lunch.
Montgomery Evans and ``Alice, where art thou?''. Later - he
showed up (I like him).
June 16
Very tired when 666 waked me for breakfast. Last night -
tired unknown and I had scraps of a vision. I do not remem-
ber how it began, but the full moon, mstbn, and XUL S's
talking about ``breaks'' in his work perhaps helped. How-
ever, it was as follows:
S was thinking of ``choose ye an island'' - saw large white
birds, not clearly - which turned to serpents - finally a
peculiar large light dove colored egg with what appeared to
be a serpent around it. But it was not a serpent after all
because conscious of the inside of the egg in which I was a
serpent but then discovered that it was a bir with a very
long neck. There was an opening (not to the outside where I
had previously been), but to a tunnel sort of place. I
plunged in and saw a peacock - white. I called him Pera,
said 418, etc. and thought of the ``island.''
Then I saw a saucer with 5 pieces of sugar on it - one more
noticable than the others because it has a name in black
letters on it -
C N A N D E T T
Somewhere in the vision I saw a key but I can't remember
where _ I think after I saw the sugar islands - as my minds
ran to ``Now fortify it.'' I remember no more.
I dreamed about Kings and all the rest of it, waking once at
least and giving orders on goverment with great certainity.
I advise that no one should have power unless he was well-
trained and tried and it boehtered me because we seemed to
weed them out once and training takes time.
Jun 17 E
Paris with 666. Hot, generally uncomfortable. Two visits to
Suzanne. Two visits to Geriand (he was out). Dinner at
Chinese Restaurant - homeon 8:16. A.C. very tired boy.
17
June 18 B
Blessed sunshine! makes me remember the full moon last
night. She was very fiery and seemed much larger than any
moons I've seen before. Latters from Geriand and O.P.V.
June 19 F
No Hump, no aimee. Opus 7 Msbtd. Phys. Relief - 8 AM. Xul
Solar leaves tomorrow.
June 20 C
Began the day by trying to telephone to Paris. Finally suc-
ceeded and came out to lunch. A turban & '75 & wine & straw-
berries = Velly Sick Monkey. Xul S. left about 4:50 PM tho
he had planned to leave the day before. Disliked Evans' way
of ``being a sport.'' After all, Xul S. has qualities which
no amount of cultivation, experience or anything else can
give to Evans.
June 21
Beast to Paris - I, feeling ``queer.'' Could that tiny bit
of Biscuit have done it??
Loafed all day. Very nervous.
June 22 A
Cheque from G.
June 29 A
A whole week gone! A busy, lazy week at that. Went to Paris
on E June 24 and again on Friday June 28. Called on Geriand
both times - saw him on C. He has made a mess of the
Bourcier business.
June 30 K 7:25 PM
A Turban of 6 - hous errors. Wrote a long letter to Goiraud.
I hope it doesn't puzzle him too much. Have waitedthis long
time to write B.C. - Hell! I have no paper. 7:30 - it seems
hours. Reflection - So soon! 7:40 He (who?) the man at the
bar (why?) He lost his leg in the army. Did he belong to
Coxie's army. If so, what is he doing a Frenchman?
July 1 E
To Paris, under protest. I was as cross as could be in the
morning, felt thoroughly unprepared to go to Kammerley Hall,
yet the moment I left the house I found myself as keen and
capable as could be.
18
Programme in Paris (resume)
1. Kammerly Hall - couldn't see him - appt. for F.
2. Suzanne - pd. her 50 fr.
3. Suzanne Aunt - no velvet - to call in PM
4. Coat, Scarf, Walking Stick.
5. P.O.
6. Done at 12 & sat with Willy for a lont time, then the
``Old Man'' joined and invited me to fix up his flat. I made
a date with him for F at 12.
7. Dentist - nice man. Estimate 3300 fr.
8. Suzanne A. again - 100 francs for berre.
9. Home at 5:24 - 666 met me!
10. Home - dinner & long letter to O.P.V.
Cross again - as soon as I struck Chelles! Hell!! Well?
July 2 10 AM A
Raining like hell. 666 sleeping tho we planned to go to
Paris. Two long letters to O.P.V. copied 4 pages of my own.
666 off on 5:56 - I to P.O. and shopping. Caught in healthy
shower! Home at 6:40.
July 3 1 AM
Noises - strong smell of chloroform, or so I supposed. But
sleep is all off. God help me!
1:08 AM I was too busy listening to listen write - and I do
not dare to sleep. The window is now open. I don't dare to
close it. And I am afraid!
About 20 minutes ago Opus VII msbtd - To get going to Estab.
the L. of T. - action, in other words.
I trust this is not it. But after all if it is the action
needed, I shall do not fail to do all I can. Am I quite
crazy?
19
July 5 G
Spend F night and E in Paris. Took 9:44 F, visited Dentist,
Counsel, B.C.F., Kennerley Hall, and the Dame. Shopped in
Maine and after a siege with the dentist E A.M. caught the
12:02 back home.
In Paris
1. Dentist - bill to be presented when work is completed.
2. Consulate - H.B.M.C.G. was not in. But one of the men
there informed A.C. that his passport was not in order and
that the V.C. was ``green.''
3. Kennerley Hall - Spend 1 hour with him & have promised
to send him a report.
4. B.C. Fund
I called there at 11:40 while A.C. was still at the
Consulate.
The door was opened by Miss Clayton, the woman who called at
5:00 May 1. When I said, ``You are the very person I want to
see,'' she said, ``You'll have to see Miss Macnsughton'' and
ushered me into the Dewine Presence. I got a chill from
which I have not yet recovered. These worms have to have
some means of self-protection.
I told her I had called to pay back the 20 francs lent by
Miss Clayton, unless it had not yet already been repaid. She
said ``No.'' Then, I pulled out the 20 fr., held on to them
for dear life, and said I should like to talk to Miss the
lady - etc - I don't know her name - what is her name?
She refused to let me talk to Miss C. on the ground that
they were finished with the case, it being a consular case
and ``You're not a British subject? You're an American.'' I
protested: ``Oh no, sweety, I'm Swiss.''
She referred to the ``record'' before her and said that
there was nothing to report - M. C. & his friend (secretary)
had been ejected, order 5000 fr. to the proprietor, and she
had telephoned the Consulate on May 2 to say it was a
Consular case.
``Is that all?'' said I, innocently.
20
``Yes,'' she said.
``Then what did th eman at the Consulate refer to when he
told you that throughout it looked to him like a
`professional case'?'', flashed I, verbally and with my eyes
firmly fixed on her.
No answer. Damn my soul, I became kind-hearted, and helped
her out (I wonder whether I did really) by saying ``You
don't remember those words?''
Said she ``No'', but hardly audibly.
``Well, I do,'' remarked Miss Leah H, and told her my embar-
rassment in being forced to listen to a telephone conversa-
tion.
She dropped the subject and asked quite cooly about the
payment. I handed her the 20, and she dipped her pen in a
nearly empty ink-pot (red ink) at least 20 times. I wonder
if anyone can read what she wrote! I paid up and asked her,
as she refused to allow us to do so myself, to thank Miss C.
for her kindness and timely help.
``20 fr. looked very large to us that day.'' said I.
The ugly old Macuaughton was back on the job.
``It's very queer,'' said she, ``that such a condition
should have arisen.'' (This with as positive convication as
the rosy-cheeked person's ``professional case'' remark. They
should leave the Pooblic Service and give Jung etc. instruc-
tions in psychoanalysis.
``Not when you know the circumstances,'' quoth I, and
exited.
Later, we called again and were received by the Furnance
Man, so I thought at first sight. Our acquaintance he viewed
more like what I imaginethe least incapable people in a
poor-house to be like. He swelled with importance when he
announced that he was in charge!!! A.C. rambled on and the
charge gave his views on the duties, priviledges, etc. of a
Pooblic Servant.
21
His final speech, on A.C.'s asking if he saw murder done in
the street, would he give evidence or notify the police, was
``If you want to keep out of trouble, you'll get away as
fast as you can'' or something to that effect.
So much for Poohblick Survints!
July 6 A
Wright & Brown called yesterday. No Anna W.! 666 not well.
Tired and uninterested. I busy all day morning writing up
acct. of Vavin Slong & letters for Cuald, etc.
July 7 K
Paris by 9:44. Met M. de Lima, a play writer. Leo, Cancer
man - missed the 8:16 by 1 minute. Home late. Also met Ella
Burgin and Nelam, of Lady Hamilton extraction.
July 8
Letter from O.P.V. re B.D. Collins, etc. Good by.
July 9
Paris on 1:35. Dentist & Suzanne. Hunt. Dame - de Lima,
Wright. No Willy. I bet she dit it, the bloody fool.
July 10
Rotten all day. 9 PM Opus VIII Msbtd. Reverence to R.H.K.
Letters from Alabana, she may have sinled July 3!
July 11
Woke feeling rotten. Not going to Paris as for appointment.
Patron telephoned. Garalin PM. Mnstrm - 1st day.
July 12 G
Hot as hell. Cheque from G - gave it to Patrons. Sewed and
wrote letters to A.I. and Prog.
July 16 B 5 PM
``I want to know the future'' is the ansser that grass made
me utter, in searching for the cause of my present state of
health. I took 4 drops before lunch to this end.
On K I had too much and was deathly ill with it, too much
'75 and wine. 4 drops gives me all I need in the line of
relaxing and no discomfort.
July 17 F
500 fr arrived from London, making 10 pounds in all (250.50
rec'd on E).
22
July 18 4:15 PM
Yi - How shall I act at present with regard to Alma?
Earth of Sol. No XXII, Pi Twan - Avoid Initiative
Line 1. Show the excellence of your way as enabling you to
despise material matters.
Line 2. Art is very well, but dependent on life.
Line 3. Show how fortunate you are. Be firm about it.
Line 4. Offer to help her with great simplicity and great
enthusiasm, using sincerity.
Line 5. Set her feel that she owes to you even her present
degree of manifestation.
Line 6. Show that the supreme virtue is simplicity.
(Later msbtd: this AM 8:30? Some Life in A.C. Wrote letters.
4 gr before lunch - 4 before dinner. To write to Alma.
8:40 PM The keynote to Alma is that her mind is practically
gone.
A minute or so ago I found B's bottle of O. and took a bit
to sober me sufficiently to write Alma.
8:50 I started to write Alma. But it doesn't write. I think
I'll decide on the Yi's first injunction and take not the
initiative.
July 19 G
My day off! 11:30 AM and I'm still in bed! Smoked 4
cigarettes and just loafed.
7 PM Eventful day:
1. Telephone call - Dentist 10:30 AM
2. Letter from Alma 11 AM
3. Letter from M.E. 2nd 11 AM
4. 666 to Paris 2:41 PM
5. Con. of Police called 5 PM
23
6. Letter from OPV 4 PM
7. Telegram Leak? London 7 PM
I also washed my hair and scrapped thetin box. Feeling
rotten, I decided to feel rottener.
Oh yes! Greatest of all!!!!! !666 ate 2 bananas! before
lunch!!!!!
Trying to write to Alma but simply can't.
July 20 A
To Paris. Sullivan.
July 21 K
To Chelles. 13 pounds O.P.V. Pictures of Chefalu people.
Letter from M.Clark and amount & money.
July 22 E
Back to Paris on 2:35. Stayed at Marina Hotel. Evans here -
I very tired.
5:53 PM 666 sleeping. Baggage, baggage everywhere. And not a
rag to wear!
July 27 A Montramarte 24 rue Samarck
Been here since B July 23. F met F. Harris after lunch at La
Paiu, and visit to Bishop & G. E A.C. talked with F.H. -
Anna Wilson at Doma. F Letter from Alma - she's sentmy $100.
10:35 AM - Making list of books in Box B.
12:30 PM At the Savoyard, after listing books in Box B. Fine
day. Four pounds from D.L.T.C. I feel very excited about
going to London. I must get my Rogues Gallery going again.
Auiden yesterday - planetary restaurant.
July 30 B
9 AM Symbol No XXXII How to use H.N. Hall. A.C. had lunch
with him. Suzanne & Suzanne have been paid off, and walked
in year rig to Henry's Bar where Anna received us! Dinner at
Suzanne ru Paine. Home James!
F Chellas by the 9:14. Hall came out later. I like him -
but?
24
Aug 1 C
11:40 AM 666 is not feeling well. I have been running about
all morning but cannot dec'd what to take to London. What I
saw as strength to cary on a very definite line of campaign.
I shall close this record now, and start another one (as
soon as I get it).
Dec 2 1924 ev
7:40 - 48 PM Invocation of R.H.K. (Unity) & impromptu
special point. ``Work the work of wickedness.''
Dec 14 1924 e.v. A
AN xx A in Q K in ? 4:31 PM
I start a new Magicak Record. For months now I have dared
and sneered at and rejected what I termed ``old magical
methods.'' But all my actions to get something new have
brought me merely to a state of nervous collapse which seems
to have reached its limit today.
I can do no more than start all over again. I affirm that my
only reason for holding out against what seemed hopless and
unending difficulties is that I may be of service in the
Great Work. I have in the past taken upon myself a series of
tasks of which I neither understood the purpose nor con-
sciously. I do not know whether I have failed hopelessly or
whether I can still make good. I do know that I can merely
re-affirm these oaths, one by one; tho whichever one I may
select will torture me to look at the next.
But I think on reading over various old Diaries, that I had
better start with my 8o=3o Oath and work along those lines.
I hereby, 4:40 PM, A Dec 14 repeat:
4:44 PM I did so - adding Lilith to the other names.
I am ashamed to say that I was weeping like a baby all the
while but I think the tears have loosened up something that
needed to be hit at badly.
5:07 PM I just accused myself of not having the courage to
give up smoking. I have and I will not smoke until I have
recovered my physical looks sufficiently to allow me to do
so sensibly. I look like a butt that has been lying about
for a week.
25
5:14
I take this (sip of white wine) to Nuit.
I take this (1 dr Auh. Lau. in white wine) to Hadit.
I take this (cut my wrist with razor) to Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
5:27 PM While finishing typing above telegram from 666
arived. ``Strongly advise against American. Letter follows
explaining.''
5:45 I see quite clearly that all I have been doing for the
last few months was to ``hate,'' not to ``love.'' I mistook
this for ``the work of wickedness'' - O.P.V. set me right on
this thou I more or less suspected that wickedness was akin
to witchery - be-witching. Didn't I call myself ``Hag'' and
Witch and all the rest of them. Perspective is absolutely
necessary. Copies of this for 666.
7:13 PM Take first meal I have really eaten for a week. 1
cigarette with coffee because I looked human. Now, no more.
10:10 Pentagram completed (after nice hot wash).
11:40 But its all no use - my mind keeps whirling round &
round.
12:50 Msbtd. Magical (partner)
2:05 Been reading over Visions and also state of my life I
started on Hoble's suggestions
Midnight K Dec 15 - E Dec 16
To bed after the dance.
Dec 16 E
Asaha. 7:06 AM-7:16 My back gave way several times and my
breathing bad due to cold. Said ``Thou who art I'' not all
the time the red coat popped in.
6:25 PM Wrote to 666, O.P.V. and Ninette, but I can't get
going on the Hause business at all. Tried to write to Marion
but can't do that either. I thought my walk and meal at the
little restaurant would clear my mind. It has, but not for
this particular job.
26
Dec 18 F
5 PM It's all no use - I seem to be getting worse and yet I
have no conviction that I'm really on the mend. Am I delud-
ing myself?
E evening - Cinema
Wed AM - Msbdt. - calling madly on Chaos.
Occasional bouts of Asana
Wed evening - Cafe
Today St Germain in the fog and hundreds of indecisions.
Wrote letter to Marion - its good & it isn't - I want, I
want, I want.
And I'm going to keep on wanting. This AM - Asana - 15 min-
utes - ``Thou who art I'' & Pan Mantra going like mad.
5:08 I light the candle, I burn the incense
5:20-5:35 Asana - Thou who art I & Pan (This after Penta-
gram, creed, and collects). Great peace, but thought of
having cut up blue robe bothered me.
7:45 PM Typed hipta Poems - I must concentrate off the House
business for a bit. But nerves, nerves! And its all Magical
- but what to do, I don't know. I await 666's word but will
I get it and if I do, will I understand?
I will sit calmly and smoke a cigarette and drink my coffee.
10:50 I did it - I danced alone in my cafe - I danced with a
lesbian and I kissed the waiter - that's that! We'll see how
it turns out. But I'm out to get hard cash & I'll get for my
Big Lion Baby Snake - There are no iffs - I'll bloody well
get it.
12: - To Bed - Typed 2 oaths and had some soup. Now we'll
Invoke, invoke! and then to sleep
Dec 19 C
10:15 PM Got letters from 666, O.P.V., & V.I. & Alma, also
from furrier. Typed a bit of note to Suzanne - blast her. I
had to wait an eternally long time and then she wanted to be
paid!
27
The dress is - just not right. No work in me - Pentagram - 9
PM.
Poking about ever since. Cup of tea and too many cigarettes.
Now to bed & Pan Mantra!
11:10 - I did ``Pan'' it - it was great! And then I found
myself between just ordinary thoughts, paying all sorts of
things, ending with
I am, Iweep, I wail, I know
(Thought about Hause possibly being on his way, etc.)
Dec 20 G
After last entry last night I suddenly got up and had a hot
wash. I said, ``I am going to meet my Lord Chaos whose bride
I am.''
I ate a small bit of bread and invoked Chaos - my head burnt
as tho I were being branded by hot irons. I tried to repeat
my 8=3 oath, but got no further than ``a member of the body
of God'' -
Then I simply said I devote myself to the accomplishment of
the G.W. and to establish the Law of Thelema.
It was midnight when I slept and I never woke till 10 this
morning. Dreams - dreams - Astrid & Beast worried - Beast
very obscure - going somewhere but didn't seem to know. I so
uncertain, quite beyond myself. Two other men in the party.
My general impression is that I am not ready to take the
Oath properly yet. Am I trying to get out of it? I don't
know.
Got my coat and saw Suzanne - Heaven only knows what this
will lead to - but I did it. Anyway, the cook's a beauty and
the bed will be too.
Dec 21 A
12:42 AM After last entry - marketed - lost a franc on a
bunch of carrots (no I didn't go where the carrots were,
more's the pity!) Then a good fried - dress rehersal and out
in the blue dress to red home from 9:30 to 11:20 -
28
Nothing doint & get I think I am doing something. What? Then
Pentagram and Pan Mantra - used Z's wand instead of Sword.
Cup of tea - bed.
3:40 AM Not a wink of sleep in me - not a bit of work in me
- What the hell shall I do - Just bad breathing & tummy
ache, but I can't be hungry. Perhaps I am - I've been day
dreaming about America and sensational landing. Those things
never come off.
I could bet most anything (except my new coat) that there is
something devilish going on somewhere among the Brethren
tonight. It may simply be A entering R, if this is the time,
if so, he's entering on a gallop. What news tomorrow? Very
excitement is that of operation, not of fear - But all sorts
of precautions arise.
12:30 PM A
Slept from 6 to 10 - wake heavy, hot, dazed, and generally
miserable. Up at 11:30 - out for coffee and milk.
Things to do
1. See fur woman for collar.
2. See S. About (?)
3. Fleischman
4. Noble re books
5. Mrs. Ficke?
1 PM - Pentagram Asana and Mantra(?) Thou who art I
1:03-1:05 Asana - back gives way - I find myself all bent up
- 3 times I straightened myself out - also - mind wanders to
all the things I've to do and didn't do - exp. the Stewart
Waiter failures. But as soon as I get over these something
else pops up. It is really much easier to be an Episenpalise
and get it all out in a ready-made prayer.
Started to get ready to go to Ella B. & Dome, but couldn't
do it. Blvd clicking - 2 grog Americans & home. Ate 3 huge
Mortadel sandwiches.
29
Dec 21 A
7:12 PM Though I've been complaining about too many unful-
filled oaths, I add another to the list:
``I hereby take an Oath to refrain from smoking for a period
of 7x9 days.'' (This brings us to Feb 22).
Dec 22 K
6:10 PM After last entry - went to bed and msbtd. for
Magical Partner. Ten minutes later - tap, tap, tap, the
Waiter to ask me to come up and dance. But I was all in so
didn't go tho I had qualms about it.
Then sleep till 9 AM - Went for milk and Dubonet and my
friend called me - Mme. treated me to a Dubonet. (Typewriter
man came! new ribbon). Later to tele. - I met the old
antique and his wife - They didn't ask me to sit down -
1. Fleishman - wrong no.
2. Noble - not home.
Called in (1) not home - left note. Had scrap re: Italian
men about dates -
Freudian forgetfullness -
Before going for milk, from time I woke until 11 on and off
Msbtd
Msbtd
Msbtd
like mad calling on Chaos -
E 1:10 AM
Well, I'm getting on or off - I don't know which? Went to my
original cafe - entered dancing and had 3 drinks and desert
for nothing.
Then to Mere Catharine - danced likehell - no drinks except
1 coffee. One police officer there! Told me that bronze wand
was too heavy - Date with him at 10 tomorrow evening.
Wonder?
1:31 AM Finish Call to invoke Chaos.
30
Dec 24 B
5:52 PM I must have been drugged last ngith. Sent petit blue
to Kitty K and to N.H. - neither has shown up. I cry like a
hound every so often - tho I did have about 1 hour's peace-
ful rest. Every time I think of the House business I nearly
go out of my mind and howl and howl. I've got to pull myself
together. I can, for a short time.
Dec 25 F
1:19 AM Just returned after trip with Kitty and Kennedy -
They came at about 10:30 - B My dear old Noble came in at 6:
bucked me up wonderfully and left me 10 fr. What a man he
is! I love him.
11:15 PM A peaceful day - just happy and calm and quiet.
Dec 26 C
Still shaky - Msbtd again this AM?? Mnstrn - 2nd day. Calm
but not?
8:45 PM 3 dr Anh. Lew. in 1/4 glass wine - after dinner and
walk (cigaretts not got) To worship Hadit.
Dec 27 G
2:20 AM Msbtd - Union with Chaos - my whole idea seems to
deplete my body absolutely so that I may lose my thoughts -
But I am all wrong. I am starved, but I shall start to love
tomorrow.
There will be no more masturbation - Prhaps there will be
insanity or death, but there'll be something, if I have to
create it myself.
2:40-2:48 Preliminary Invocation. Peaceful but not sleepy.
Breathing difficult.
3:55-3:58 (3 minutes) Prana
10-10 2 min
10-15-5 1 min
Dec 27 G 24 e.v.
These three days are mine, G, A, K. I have 50 francs - I
have food in the house - I have charcoal and wood - I have
plenty of work to do - It rains.
31
What happens at the end of this 3 day period doesn't matter.
Nothing matters - now or ever. I drink the red wine with 4
dr. of A.L. in it, and read the Stele poetry from Cap. III
To Dome at 9 - after smoking 4 cigarettes and destroying ---
. I am a ... Another at Dome. Kennedy backing out of paint-
ing me. A grog and sandwich and oh how Willy loves me!
Souisse!! Abortions!! Death! Came home chilled - 2 grogs and
I'm as warm as toast.
Dec 28 A
11:35 AM Preliminary Invocation
Dec 29 K
12:34 AM Danced till noon.
12:25 AM This is the 3rd day. Wrote letters re Hause - Drank
- danced and now I'm ready for anything. Worries began again
- but not badly. To Dome at 12:45 - Met one Moissey Kogan -
Artist, Russian.
We went to Mlle. Selfers, studio (20 rue Boissonade) - she
weaves, then to his hotel, then to 2 exhibitions and finally
I came home. He's coming tomorrow - We'll see.
