The SubGeniusFoundation
heals ruined members of
a crumbling society!
Here's What Just A Few Have To Say...
"I haven't been so frightened since 1961. You're telling the
truth, praise the Lord! Truly our only hope is REPENTANCE. I
know there was something wrong with the Sun and Venus and
now I have proof. Bless your work."
"Suddenly it's GlRLS GlRLS GIRLS! Boy,your book Things to see
and do is GREAT!"
"My dad used to hide the pamphlets from me but now he
makes me read them."
"And I thought there was no such thing as a real aphrodisiac!"
"I am in prison, I know I am the son of a preacher and all my boys
can quote Scriptures. But why can't they let us have church in
here? The real thing. I'm like Dobbs, I know, why won't they tell
the people ahout the Pink Boys and the Illuminati? I was there in
Burma in '38. I saw what they did with those electric machines.
Some men here are sick in their hearts, I can't help them, the
insects you talked about get inside me and well you know. Read
Genesis 18:9,7, you get it. I'm sorry for what I did with those boys
but when will AFFA let up?' GOD "BLESS" you MEN for
fighting WITH LIGHT BEAMS. I'm all with you right here."
"It was so reassuring to learn that my phobias and paranoias
were so well founded. I thought I was going crazy."
"I can see how it all fits together in one interlocking web now.
The neighbors call me a right wing crank, but we know about the
Conspiracy, don't we? Now I have something to fight against."
"Thanks, "Bob." for straightening out my boy. I wish every
father was so lucky."
"My parents caught me with your book but I'll get another one
and they'll be sorry."
"I found my place in the world through DOBBS. I will obey
DOBBS. DOBBS is all-one-faith-AMEN! From ten billion year
old amoeba to giant-forebrain OverMan of White Stone Power
Mind, all SLACK all DOBBS all ONE! OK! OK! Drink the
eucharist with no-doz, wash off your tears, power blackouts
signal UFOs in space, ALL-DOBBS-TRlUMPH in heaven hell
and Safeway. BRING ALL THE CHILDREN a million and six
negative ion generators, tump thc gravcn images, I SEE! I SEE!
The work of forty five slave Pink Boys equals ONE SUBGENlUS
equals SCARLET LOVE 666! SLACK SLACK OK"
"The SubGenius... sees the divine hand in the incompre-
hensible... events of this world... he she does not cower, but
laughs... retrieving ritual objects from among the kitch and...
effluvia of televisioid society... "Bob" knows... there would have
to be a "Bob," else no God for his/her perceptions... receiving...
the indwelling glory inside a stinking downtown Woolworth's,
whilst the Conspiracy ads proclaim all is o.k... everything is what
it appears to be... and above all, don't leave the theatre... The
SubGenius will be found... behind the refreshment counter with
"Bob"... alchemizing in... the snu age..."
"My minister told me you were doing the Devil's work, and
for a while I was afraid to join up. But our church burned down
and God doesn't care, so why not? That's what I say. Here's my
$10 and COUNT ME IN!"
"I am in high school, and I guess you'd call me a 'brain.' A lot of
the lumpen proletariat (kickers, jocks, freaks) give 'worms' like
myself a difficult time. The fact that I'm overweight and have skin
problems doesn't help, as you can imagine. But your philosophy
"Fuck them if they can't take a joke"is just what I've needed.I use
the secret SubGenius Subliminal "Jest" commands in my daily
conversation, too, and I've lately noticed that many of the
physical toughs who harass me are showing new respect even
though they can't seem to flgure out why! I think you've helped
me to instill some superstitious fear of higher intelligence into
their dense crania!"
"Your book really slapped me in the face with my own faults
and bad habits. You're right, people like me are creeps. But yet,
only your organization has had the courage to tell me that this is
OK. It's what I needed to hear. Everything is fine now."
"Since my wife died I have thought I was going crazy, or senile.
Your material helps me deal with this and exploit my intermittent
loss of mind. I'm 89 and I agree, let's have more SLACK! (The
profanity I could do without but I understand, you have to reach
the young people too.)"
"I used to be all messed up on the Lord, but now I'm messed up
on G'BroagFran. and it's just a better excuse altogether."
"All of my hormones are now collected in one 17-inch
LENGTH of my body."
"I only spent one night with "Bob" but I'll never forget it as long
as I live. No other man has ever done what he did."
"I am "Bob's" Instrument of Death. "Bob" kills through me.
My artwork is my own."
"I want to hate you so much I will smash your plastic face your
fucking teeth go squirting out your brains for breakfast I will get 1
big sharp stick and hit you seven times til you bleed and poke your
eyes out with a big crooked nail! I will stomp your holy pipe to
shit and kick your god damned head off like a football rolling
down the gutter splitting open like a rotten pumpkin and spilling
seeds all over the world ! Will smear your stinking sacred name all
over the street and vomit you to hell in a car crash you go burning
upside down in jail your suspenders snap and your pants fall
down! East raw gun poisen slimey pink ass shithead devil! Blam.
BLAM BLAM BLAM! FUCK YOU! AHAHAHAHAH..."
"You make it seem like a joke, but it really isn't is it? I feel I can
read your mind while I'm reading it, it makes more sense between
the lines than most books do right on the lines that are serious.
Whew."
JOIN THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS
Cynisacreligion and a Society for Strange People.
Details $1
The SubGenius Foundation
Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
