Five months. That's how long I spent on the dinosaur skeleton costume
this year. Now, that only seems like a lot until you consider that last
year's offering, of a Victorian Aethernaut, took nine! Regardless, it
was a haul. In fact it was brutal, because I worked on so many parts of
it at once, from the frame/spine, the skull, the tail, the legs, feet,
and arms. In the end it was too much, and the legs and arms had to be
dropped. Good thing too, because Little Bronx had all he could handle
with the weight of the head and tail alone.
The day was a breakneck run, because I still had some painting to do.
The attachment for the spine to the actual backpack-like frame was
complex, and my idea was to paint anything that was supposed to be bone
or skull, the color white, and anything frame, black. That way, at
night, the dino bone part would really stand out, while the rest of it
would be much less visible. Basic theatrics, so that part of it worked
well. Anyway, painting the frame was somewhat exacting, and it took
time. Luckily -- or so it seemed at first -- it was quite windy out.
Though electric box fans are used liberally to dry glue and the acrylic
paints used in these projects, I brought the piece outside in the sun
and high breeze for a quick job. I anchored it down and let it dry. This
worked out efficiently and well, actually, but had some deleterious side
effects.
See, the winds out here can be very high some days. 50-60 MPH (80-97 K)
gusts are not unusual on very windy days. No storms or anything -- just
clear blue sky and hurricane-level bursts of atmospheric violence. And
it often blows ALL day, and sometimes all night. Well, after only a
half-hour or so of this, the paint was nice and dry, and I brought it
inside to let Little Bronx finally try it all on. The tail was, as
expected, ungainly, but with the skull on, the costume became more
balanced. It looked nice for a few seconds, and then the neck collapsed.
CONSTRUCTION TIP #1: When making any kind of supporting structure, for
any kind of engineered project, there is NO substitute for quality
materials.
In a misguided desire, nearly half-a-year before, to save weight, I'd
constructed a key part of the neck out of light-weight cardboard (a
cereal box, to be exact) instead of corrugated cardboard, which all the
rest of the supportive parts of the costume used. As the months had gone
along, it became increasingly obvious that this would prove itself a
fail point, so I shored it up with wooden sticks, tape, and lots more
glue, but it simply wasn't enough. The skull was as light as I could
think to manage, under the circumstances, but it was still too much
weight, I guess, because the neck's little mini structural frame of
Popsicle sticks and glue just popped apart, and the whole skull settled
down slowly like I'd used al dente pasta to support it. This was
somewhere around noon. We'd planned to leave the house to pick up Mrs.
Bronx from work around 3:00pm. Since, this year, the Halloween
celebration was turned into an actual all-day festival lasting until
8:00pm, we figured we'd stop by early, enjoy the sights, and then suit
up for the after dark part when most of the people would be showing up
anyway.
Not a bad idea, as they go, until Mrs. Bronx called up and said she
could get out early. Well, with a failing costume on my hands, she had
to wait. I quickly taped the neck back together, shying away from glue,
which was slow, and had now proved itself of limited value in these
circumstances, and painted the tape over the appropriate colors.
CONSTRUCTION TIP #2: If there's a choice between different materials,
all of which can potentially do the job, and one is simpler to use
and/or allows for more control over the process -- go with THAT one,
regardless of conventional wisdom.
I now know I should have used paper tape for the entire thing, as an
anchoring device, instead of slow-to-dry, non-moving-under-stress white
glue. Live and learn, right? Okay, so Mrs. Bronx was informed of the
delay, and the neck got repaired. I then brought the newly-painted frame
(with tail still attached, since it's a pain to take on and off) outside
to dry again. No problem there -- it only took a few minutes this time.
And when I went outside to get it, it only took a few tenths of a second
for the wind to whip the tail around and rip the thing right off the
spine!
CONSTRUCTION TIP #3: If something isn't designed to endure a certain
type of stress, it's an exceedingly bad idea to put it through said
stress anyway.
"What the...?! Oh, you dirty em-effer!"
Or words to those effect. Okay, okay. Back inside. More tape, more
paint, back outside. Wait a bit. Voila. No time to test it, though.
Little Bronx and I loaded up the car and took off. This was accompanied
by extra aggrivation, since Little Bronx didn't really want to be
interrupted in whatever the hell he was doing just then, and he got
mouthy and surly. Great. This was all just feeling awesome now.
We got to Mrs. Bronx around 2:00pm. That left us some time until we
wanted to really be there, so we decided to grab a bite to eat. That
went okay, I guess, though it was more expensive than I expected. We
finally arrived at eh festival around 6:00pm to a big crowd and
darkening skies. The barely-interested harpies who judge the costume
contest each year had already made their rounds -- though they did see
him, and appeared to be impressed. No biggie there, as Little Bronx has
won this thing twice before, and has the prizes (bicycles donated by
Wallyworld) to prove it. Other people reacted nicely as well, and that's
REALLY what it's all about anyway.
The tail must have whacked something at some point, as one of the joints
tore. Well, Industrial Dad was prepared with tape and small cord, and
emergency repairs were enacted on the spot. We then made a quick
dash-through of the entire event, until we got to the music area, where
they were doing a Halloween-themed karaoke thing, and from where the
local radio station was broadcasting. By this time, the combined weight
and awkwardness of the costume had gotten to Little Bronx, and he needed
a break. We took off the suit, and he and his mom walked around looking
at stuff. It became apparent, though, that he didn't want to put the
damn thing back on. I must admit that THAT was disappointing, as
more-and-more people kept arriving.
By now, you must be saying to yourself, "LnB, this is seeming like it's
all about you instead of about your son," and, on one level, I wouldn't
argue with you. Certainly, I put a lot of time and effort into this, and
I really wanted it to be seen. But I wanted HIM to be admired in it. He
gets precious little human contact outside of the family these days,
and, while walking around in an over-sized costume in a carnival
atmosphere is not exactly the height of social interaction, at the
least, people come up to him and tell he's awesome. Self-esteem is a
funny thing. If you have it, good or bad, the opinions that others have
of you mean far less, over all. If you don't though, it can be either
empowering or crippling, and is built on a house of cards. In our
circumstances, I was shooting for empowering. I think it MATTERS what
other people say to him, since he hears so few people say anything to
him. Besides, that whole thing is so bound up in personal and family
matters, that it'll take some extended examination of its own to really
explain how I see and understand it all.
Anyway, while the festival spirit of Halloween was fairly well-captured
this year, once again, vendor turnout was disappointing. To make it
clear, this is a "Trunk-Or-Treat" event, not a "Trick-Or-Treat" one.
What that means is, unlike the old days when parents felt it was
perfectly fine for their kids to take candy from strangers, the concept
here is to get local vendors to agree to set up a truck or car in a
specified locale and give out treats in that way. The thought is that,
rather than rely on the kindness and traditional sensibilities of
friends and neighbors -- some of whom, as modern fear and urban myth
would dictate, may NOT be so kind, traditional, or even sensible -- you
instead draft known, local businesses to participate. I'm a
traditionalist on things like this, but even I think this is better.
Razor blades in apples, and cyanide in Snickers may be dark fantasies,
but the pedestrian/automobile accident rate is/was all-too-real. The
number of kids struck by cars on Halloween night has always been higher
than any other, and it's never been the kind of scary that anybody
likes. I, for one, would never let Little Bronx go out with all the bad
drivers on the road, but it was a different, more naive world for our
parents. But big deal, that was them and then. This is now.
"Trunk-Or-Treat" is fundamentally better, in my opinion, adding a party
element to the costumey, treatie, and fun-scary stuff that has been
retained. Music, candy, activities, and the opportunity to see
EVERYONE'S costume -- it's all good. Except it's dependent upon the
participation of the vendors. If the local businesses don't get
involved, this whole thing falls flat. And that's what just about
happened last night.
Without question, Little Bronx's haul was the most anemic I've ever
seen, "Trick", "Trunk", or any other kind of "Or Treat" included.
Pathetic. And the only reason I can see for it is that the vendors don't
understand what's in it for them. Now, I have ideas about why this has
happened, and how it can be remedied, but they're beside the point. I'll
maybe organize those thoughts someday, and post them up in a better
fashion than a post-event rant can allow.
Little Bronx seemed to enjoy himself: he danced to the music, drank hot
chocolate (there was a stand set up, selling hot drinks) and laughed at
people's outfits. When it was time to go, he agreed to put on the dino
bones again for the walk to the car, and, though the apex of the crowd
was passed by this time, there was still a repeat of the admiring gawker
effect. We made it home in fine time, and the little guy was in his
pajamas by 8:00pm.
A good time was had by all? Well, no, not really. I didn't have one. It
was tense, and Little Bronx was ill-humored for much of the time. The
haul was sad, and only a couple of costumes were even worth looking at;
I mean, I don't expect people to go to the lengths I do, but we don't
need another off-the-shelf Spider-man or cute teenage vampire girl at
these things. Just a touch of originality or humor. It's not too much to
ask. I once heard of a guy with dark hair who put on nerd glasses and a
business suit, and pinned back the shirt, tie, and jacket. Underneath,
he wore a Superman t-shirt. All he had to do is step forward, and strike
a pose with his hands on his jacket lapels, and he looked exactly like
Clark Kent in the act of changing. Simply ingenious. And what did that
take to put together? The guy probably had the stuff already. Just a
little creativity. Anyway, the music and such were done by 7:00pm, and
it started to die away long before the stated ending time.
I don't know. All I saw was a lot of hard work and then a big event
which turned out not to be. How could I fail to be disappointed? Next
year will be different, maybe. The whole awesome costume thing will NOT
be in the cards, most likely. In fact, I don't even know WHERE we'll be.
We`re thinking about moving. But no matter what happens, this approach
needs a some radical thinking.
I know I promised some awesome pictures of this event, but, in my rush
out the door, I forgot the camera. Mrs. Bronx did take some
particularly horrid photos with her cellphone, but they just look like
white smudges to me. If I can get Little Bronx into this costume one
more time, I'll snap some then, and post 'em up here. Otherwise, you'll
just have to take my word for it -- the suit is sweet.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
(c) 2010 lostnbronx
CC BY SA v.3
lostnbronxATgmailDOTcom
