We are a community of motherfucking programmers who
have been humiliated by software development
methodologies for years.
We are tired of XP, Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, Software
Craftsmanship (aka XP-Lite) and anything else getting
in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker.
We are tired of being told we're socialy awkward idiots
who need to be manipulated to work in a Forced Pair
Programming chain gang without any time to be creative
because none of the 10 managers on the project can
do... Programming, Motherfucker.
We must destroy these methodologies that get in the way
of...Programming, Motherfucker.
* * * *
| They Claim To Value | They Really Value | We Fucking Do |
|------------------------------+---------------------------+---------------------------|
| Individuals and interactions | Tons of billable hours | Programming, Motherfucker |
| Working software | Tons of pointless tests | Programming, Motherfucker |
| Customer collaboration | Bleeding clients dry | Programming, Motherfucker |
| Responding to change | Instability and plausible | Programming, Motherfucker |
| | deniability | |
We think the shit on the left, is really just the con
in the middle, and that we really need to just do the
thing on the right...Programming, Motherfucker.
