From UseNET's "rec.humor" newsgroup comes...
*** THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS -- AS YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE! ***
Compiled (NOT drawn) by:
[email protected] (Eric W. Tilenius)
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||W---|| * ||w---|| * ||V---||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Cow Cow laden Same cow Betty Ford-type
with milk after milking cow with milk
(___) (___) * (___) (___)
(o o) (o o) \ (o o) (o o)
/-------\ / /-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\ /
/ | ||O / | ||O | ||O / | ~#>-+|O
* ||,---|| * ||@\--|| ||,---|| * ||,----|
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~
Bull Same bull after Rotc bull after Red-blooded American Bull
seeing above cow seeing other bull shooting the Rotc bull
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/-* /-------\/ /-------\/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ | || \ )*)(\/* / * / | ||
* ||----|| * \ |||/)|/()( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\/|(/)(/\/(,,/ \)|(/\/|)(/\
Cow munching Grass munching Cow in water Cow in trouble
on grass on cow
(__) (__) * (__) * (__)
(oo) (oo) \ (oo) | (oo)
/--------\/ /-oooooo-\/ \-------\/ \-------\/
* o| || * ooooooooo o o| || / ||
||----|| ooooooooooooo ||----||>==/-----||
ooo~~ ~~ ooooooooooooooooo ~~ ~~ ~~
Cow taking Cow in deep Cow getting the shit
shit shit kicked out of her
(__)
(oo) U
/-------\/ /---V
/ | || * |--| .
* ||----||
~~ ~~
Cow at 1 meter. Cow at 100 meters. Cow at 10,000 meters.
(__) )__( vv vv
(oo) (oo) ||----|| *
/-------\/ *-------\/ || | /
/ | || / | || /\-------/
* ||----|| / ||----|| (oo)
~~ ~~ vv vv (~~)
American Cow Polish Cow Australian Cow
(__) (__) (__)
(oo) ____ (oo) _---_(oo)
/-------\/ /- --\/ /- -\/
/ | || / | || /| ||
* ||----|| * ||___-|| * ||___-||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Freshman Cow Freshman Cow Freshman Cow
Arriving at Rit After the "Freshman 15" After the "Freshman 20"
(__) (__) (__)
(OO) (@@) (xx)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Cow who drank Jolt Cow who ate Cow who used Jolt to wash
psychadelic mushrooms down psychadelic mushrooms
________________________
(__) / \
(oo) ( Meet our great leader! )
/-------\/ --'\________________________/
/ | ||
* ||----||
~~ ~~
# #
## ##
## ##
## ##
## ##
### ###
M M OOOO OOOO ### ###### ###
MM MM O O O O ####### #######
M M M M O O O O # #
M M M O O O O # ### ### #
M M O O O O # # # # # #
M M OOOO OOOO # # ### # ### #
\\ # ### ### #
\\ # #
\\________ # ######## #
\-------- # # ## ## # #
# # # #
######### # # #### # #
###### ###### ####
########################### ###
## ##
## # #
# ## # #
# # # # # # #
# # # # # # #
# # # # # # # #
# # # # # # # #
# # # # # # # #
# # # # # # #### #
# # # ##### # # ### # #
# # # # # ##################### ######### # #
# # # # # # # # #
# # # # # # # # #
# # # # # # # # #
# # # # # # # # #
# # # # # # # #
##### ### #### ####
###### ### ###### ######
/\ __
/ \ ||
(__) (__) \ / (_||_)
SooS (oo) \/ (oo)
/------S\/S /-------\/ /S /-------\/
/ | || / | || / S / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||___/ S * ||----||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
This cow belonged Ben Franklin owned Abe Lincoln's
to George Washington this cow cow
(__)
* (__) (oo)
\ (oo) /------\/
\-------\/ /| |/ |
| ==$ || / | [) ||
||----|| * ||----||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Old "One Arm" belonged This cow was given to
to Ceasar's Palace Hugh Hefner for his Birthday
(___) (__) (__)
( O ) (oo) (oo)
/-------\ / \/--------\/
/ | ||V | |
* ||----|| ||------||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
The cyclops that Jason and This cow lived with
the Argonauts met had this cow Dr. Doolittle
(__) (__)
[##] (@o)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /------- (__)
/ | || / | || / | || (oo)
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|---\/
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~
This cow belonged This cow lived with This cow belonged to
to Flash Gordon the Little Rascals the Headless Horseman
(____) (____) (____)
(oo ) (o o) ( O O)
/-----------\ / /-----\ /---- /-----------\ /
/ || | \/ / | | \/ | / || | \/
/ || |||| \ | | | | | / || ||||
* ||||-----|||| *| | |-----| | | * ||||-----||||
/\/\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ ~~~~ ~~~~
This cow belonged This was Salvatore No one was sure whether
to Pablo Picasso Dali's favorite cow M.C. Escher's cow had four
legs or eight
O__O \_|_/
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Cow at Disneyland Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty
(__)
~~ (oo)
~~~~ /-------\/
~~~~~ / | ||
~~~~~ * ||----||
~~~~~~~~ ====~~====~~====
~~~~~~~~~~~~~/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu
)\ (__)
/ \ (oo)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cow swimming at Amityville
(Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated)
*
\
\
|\
\ | \ (__)
\\|| \(oo)
\||\ \\/
~~ \||
\\ ||
\\||
\||
~~
\\_
\_
Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen
(__)
(--)
/-\/-\
/| |\
~ | | ~
(__) | |
(DD) /----\
/-------\/ / \ \
/ | ||_\_/ ~ * ~
* ||----| Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
~~ ~ (What a bod, huh guys?)
Cow chugging brews and staring at
sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale
O O O O
\ \ / /
\ \ (__) /
(__) \ \ (xx)/
(DD) \ +--------+\//
/-------\/ \| | /
/ | || +--------+
* ||----||
~~ ~~
Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
at Gillies in Texas
\ (__)
\\(oo)
/-----\\\/
/ | (##)
* ||----||"
~~ ~~
This cow plays bagpipes.
(__) (__) (__)
(\/) ($$) (**)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | 666 || / |=====|| / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Satanic cow This cow is a Yuppie Cow in love
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-'''''-\/ /-------------------\/
/ |'''''|| / | ||
* ||''''|| * ||----------------||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Stretch Cow
Cow in Argyle *
** **
* ** * * * **
* / / \ * *
\ \ / \ / /
* / / \ \ (__) \ \
/ (00) / /
\ /-------\/ \ \
/ / | || / /
\ \ * ||----|| \ \
/ / ~~ ~~ / /
Cow in Heat
(__)
/--------(00)
/ | |( )
* ||---- ||()
|| ||
~~ ~~
Cow Chewing Marbles
(___)
(o o)
/------\ / (__)
/ ____O (oo)
| / /----\----\/ "Where did that camera come from!"
/\oo===| / ||
| || *||~-----||
* ~~ ~~ ~~
(__) \__\ (__)
(oo) o (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ ____\___\/ *+-------\/
/ | || / | || ||______||
* ||----|| * ||----|| ||----||
OO OO OO OO OO OO
Detroit cow Mustang cow Pickup cow
(__) \_||_~
(oo) (*||*)
/---------------\/ /-------\||/
/ | || / | ||
* ||------------|| * ||----||
OO OO OO }{
Li-moo-cow Teenager's cow
____
(____)
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
~~ ~~
Holy cow
===============================================================================
