* The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal -
- a little bit of breast
- a little bit of leg
..... and a lot of stuffing !!!
* Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.
* Forecast for Wedding...
Expected development of Warm front, with extreme
turbulence and moisture in lower regions.
Good possibility of six inches overnight.
Sun(son) is expected later on.
* Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch instalments.
* Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently
and She'll last for many years.
* If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.
* Hope you honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass,
One long hard route.
* Don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days,
or you will get a Weak End.
* Take heed from those who know
Tie you nightie to your toes
Close your eyes - hold your nose
Then see how it goes...
* Dont keep him in the dog house too often or he might give
his bone to the woman next door.
* Treat him like a flower...
grab him by the stalk.
* We are curious to know why you both wanted to borrow the
black leather boots and bull whip ?
* Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes
you Frisky, but its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you
Pregnant.
* Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be
an Off-Spring next Spring.
* Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of
Bride and Groom Mounted.
* Congatulations - rots of ruck - sideways is great.
* Confucious say man who sink into womans arms soon have arms
in womans sink.
* Don't buy you bed from Grace Brothers (Myers) they stand
behind everthing they sell.
* Hope all your Tries are not converted.
* Remember Pearl Harbour... Have fun before the nips come.
* A honeymoon should be like a table...
Four bare legs and no drawers.
"I was engaged myself once. To a contortionist. But she broke it off."
* Go west young man, get up the Darling as far as you can.
* And the story of the man who called his son Vendetta, because he
always had it in for him...
* "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you
never get to prove it."
* The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've
found a woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do
you want from me, sympathy?"
* Your TV viewing on your wedding night will be...
Firstly, The Marriage Game,
Followed by, Great Temptation,
The Untouchables,
Mission Impossible,
The Time is Right,
Rawhide and Bonanza.
* They were married on the cricket field, that night they were
quite wicket, the bride said with a happy smile, I'm sure
this can't be cricket.
* A lifetime in snooker my dearest, it's happened to you,
so don't forget to chalk his cue and the first game you
* Two passing ships making matrimonial knots while fouled
in each others stern line, recommended inter between course
69 STOP
Happy voyage, bottoms up.
* Congratulations on finding a socket outlet for you plug
* Advice to submariners - if torpedo overheats, load tube,
go deep and eject.
* May the Blue bird of happiness crap all over your wedding cake.
* Confucious say wife for life is better than wife for strife.
* Don't be too liberal at the country party or you'll wind up in
Labor.
* She offered her honour,
He honoured he offer,
and all night he was on her and off her.
* Be sure to tie your nightie to your toes, 'cos you know
where the wild goose goes.
* Sorry I can't make your wedding, I'm half full under the table.
