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The Simpsons: Hit & Run
Game Script
Version 1.0
By SpacePirate
[email protected]
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Table of Contents
====================
1. Introduction
2. Script Contents
3. Script
4. Contact Info
5. Credits
6. Copyright Info
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1. Introduction
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Welcome to my first ever game script. Of course, if I'm gonna make a game
script, gotta do it on a game that'll be worth while, and what better than
The Simpsons. The game is enjoyable to play and it is also fun to hear what
the Simpson characters have to say after you finish a mission. So, reading
this is almost as funny as hearing what the Simpsons characters have to say.
Almost! Remember though, I can't understand everything the characters say
exactly so if you do, please contact me to tell me what it really is. (See
Contact Info) Well, enjoy.
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2. Script Contents
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Press ctrl+F to bring up a window. Type in the code at the end of a chapter
line to instantly go to that chapter, without all the boring scrolling.
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Level 1
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Level 1 Introduction................................................LVL1I
Mission 1...........................................................LVL11
Mission 2...........................................................LVL12
Mission 3...........................................................LVL13
Mission 4...........................................................LVL14
Movie 1.............................................................MOVE1
Mission 5...........................................................LVL15
Mission 6...........................................................LVL16
Mission 7...........................................................LVL17
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Level 2
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Mission 1...........................................................LVL21
Mission 2...........................................................LVL22
Mission 3...........................................................LVL23
Mission 4...........................................................LVL24
Mission 5...........................................................LVL25
Mission 6...........................................................LVL26
Mission 7...........................................................LVL27
Movie 2.............................................................MOVE2
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Level 3
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Mission 1...........................................................LVL31
Mission 2...........................................................LVL32
Mission 3...........................................................LVL33
Mission 4...........................................................LVL34
Mission 5...........................................................LVL35
Mission 6...........................................................LVL36
Mission 7...........................................................LVL37
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Level 4
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Mission 1...........................................................LVL41
Mission 2...........................................................LVL42
Mission 3...........................................................LVL43
Mission 4...........................................................LVL44
Mission 5...........................................................LVL45
Movie 3.............................................................MOVE3
Mission 6...........................................................LVL46
Mission 7...........................................................LVL47
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Level 5
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Mission 1...........................................................LVL51
Mission 2...........................................................LVL52
Mission 3...........................................................LVL53
Mission 4...........................................................LVL54
Mission 5...........................................................LVL55
Mission 6...........................................................LVL56
Mission 7...........................................................LVL57
Movie 4.............................................................MOVE4
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Level 6
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Mission 1...........................................................LVL61
Mission 2...........................................................LVL62
Mission 3...........................................................LVL63
Mission 4...........................................................LVL64
Mission 5...........................................................LVL65
Mission 6...........................................................LVL66
Mission 7...........................................................LVL67
Movie 5.............................................................MOVE5
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Level 7
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Mission 1...........................................................LVL71
Mission 2...........................................................LVL72
Mission 3...........................................................LVL73
Mission 4...........................................................LVL74
Mission 5...........................................................LVL75
Mission 6...........................................................LVL76
Mission 7...........................................................LVL77
Movie 7.............................................................MOVE7
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3. Script
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Level 1
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Level 1 Introduction: LVL1I
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Homer is sitting on his red couch inside his house watching TV with a destroyed
Bee Camera at his feet. There are gold coins floating above it. Homer grabs one
and checks it out. Homer then takes his eyes off the coin and puts his
attention toward a commercial on TV. Krusty the clown is standing on stage
with a can of Buzz Cola in his hand.
Krusty: Hey hey, I'm endorsing a new cola kids, and this one isn't poisonous to
anybody!
Voice: That we know of.
Krusty: New and improved Buzz Cola is made only from the finest sugars and
waters, plus a special ingredient to hot for the FDA! It will give you the get
up and go to do all the pathetic things you have to do! Try new and improved
Buzz Cola!
Homer: Mmm, cola, must get Buzz Cola. (drools)
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 1: LVL11
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Homer and Marge are standing outside on the front lawn of the Simpsons' house.
It's a sunny morning out in Springfield.
Marge: Homie, somebody ate every desert in the house. I need you to go to the
store and get some of that ice cream with the miniature pies in them.
Homer: Uh, must have been one of our kids, probably Milhouse.
Homer rushes through the streets to the Kwik-E-Mart and goes in. He goes up to
Apu at the counter.
Homer: Hey, Apu, give me a cola and I need another bucket of ice cream with
mini pies in them.
Apu: What happened to the ice cream with mini pies your wife bought this
morning?
Homer: I don't knw, I probably ate it, I don't remember things to good.
Homer gets the stuff from the Kwik-E-Mart.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 2: LVL12
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Homer rushes back home and goes up to Marge on the front lawn.
Marge: Homie, Lisa left for school without her science project. Can you get it
to her?
Homer: Oh, do I have to?
Marge: You can drop it off on your way to work.
Homer: And I have to go to work?!
Homer grabs the science project and races to the Elementary School. He gets
there before Principal Skinner does so he can get it to Lisa. Homer goes into
the school and gives it to Lisa.
Lisa: Thanks for bringing me my model of the disegtion system... hey, where's
the gall bladder.
Homer: Uh, I got hungry on the way over and it was a fig.
Lisa: It was modelling clay! By the way dad, mom called, she needs to talk to
you before you go to work.
Homer: D'oh!
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 3: LVL13
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Homer goes back home to talk to Marge inside the house.
Marge: Homer, go talk to Ned Flanders, he seems mifted, and PO'ed.
Homer: Why me, I'm the worlds greatest neighbor, I even have a mug to that
effect.
Homer leaves his house and goes next door to talk to the mega religious Ned
Flanders on his front lawn.
Ned: I'm all in a ditter Homer, so many of my possesions have dissapeared. I
called the police to find the culprit.
Homer: Culprit, eh.
Ned: My lawn mower, my cooler, my lawn chair, a family portrait, even Rod's
inhaler, what kind of sick individual would take all of this stuff.
Homer: (In his head) Oh no, I borrowed all of Flanders stuff, quick, think of
an excuse to get out of here.
Homer: Excuse me, I need to go chuck some corn.
After finding two of Ned's stuff, Homer needs to find Ned's cooler.
Homer: What's next. Ned's cooler, I gave it to Barney.
Homer goes to a gas station where Barney is hanging out.
Homer: Uh, remeber that cooler I gave you for your birthday? Well, Flanders
wants it back.
Barney: Now what'll I use for a toilet?
Homer grabs the cooler and continues grabbing Ned's stuff until he gets
everything. Homer then goes to Ned's house.
Homer: Flanders, look I found your missing stuff. Now about the reward.
Ned: Thanks neighbor-oony. Here's your reward, a prayer from the lord. Dear
father in heaven, bless this kind oaf.
Homer: Stupid Flanders getting happiness from religion.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL14
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Homer goes into the house to talk to Marge one more time before he goes to
work.
Marge: Homie, you're late for work, and todays your workplace evaluation with
Mr. Smither.
Homer: Ah! He'll find my scorpion farm, then where will my scorpions live!?
Only one person can help me, Lenny!
Homer drives down to the Krusty Burger near the cemetary where he finds Lenny.
Lenny: Hey, Homer, how about a breakfast churro?
Homer: No time, tell me where I can find Mr. Smithers.
Lenny: I think I saw him at the Kwik-E-Mart. Oh well, more breakfast
churros for Lenny!
Homer: I'm gonna need a car with more junk in the trunk if I want to take him
out. I wonder if Barney still has the Plow King.
Homer goes across the street to Barney to get the Plow King.
Homer: Barney, can I borrow the Plow King?
Barney: Take what you want sexy lephrachan, just don't shoot me with that dart
gun, ahhh.
Homer: Whatever.
Homer buys the Plow King for 150 coins and then heads down to the Kwik-E-Mart
to destroy Smithers' car. He destroys it and then heads down to the power
plant.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL14
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Homer goes into his little facility but he finds a camera in his office.
Homer: How can I sleep with that camera? Ooh, sexy girls could be watching me
on the internet! Stupid cameras, you should be smashed, I'll destroy you at
your power source! Hahahaha!!
Homer goes and around the plant and destroys all of the power couplings. He
goes back to his workstation.
Homer: Finally I can get some sleep.
Burns: (On a speaker) Mindless drones, return to your ugly families.
Homer: D'oh
Homer goes home and sits on his couch.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Movie 1: MOVE1
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Brockman: The famous cartoon creator incarcentated in a verubian jail. In
other news, local citizens are outraged over the discovery of surveleince
cameras throughout the town. We go now to city hall where Mayor Quimby is
feeling question from an angry mob.
Quimby: These miniature cameras are an outrage. Spying on our womans'
dressing rooms, bathrooms, and lockerooms is unforgivable. I think I speak for
all Springfielders when I say, where is the sexy footage?!
Brockman: In other unexplained news, strange black vans have been appearing
all over town.
Homer: Marge, that black van is spying on us.
Marge: Oh, Homer, you're so sexy when you're paranoid.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 5: LVL15
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Homer goes outside and chases the black van which leads to Mr. Burns.
Homer: Oh, so Mr. Burns is behind all this. Spying is so like him that wrinkled
old monkey skeleton.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 6: LVL16
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Homer drives over to the grocery store and finds Marge at the front of store.
Homer: Mr. burns is spying on everybody, we've got to follow him!
Marge: Not now Homer, a new violent video game has hit the streets, and we need
to get rid of it before it warps any children with its bloops and bleeps!
Homer: But that game sounds awesome.
Marge: And therefore should be destroyed.
Homer: I guess.
Marge and Homer collect the Bonestorm games and go back home.
Marge: If only kids would play more video games about sharing.
Homer: Marge you know I have more crazy plans, now if you'll excuse, me I have
to go spy on my boss.
Marge: Hmmm.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 7: LVL17
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Homer drives back the the power plant and he goes to Carl in the parking lot.
Carl: Hey Homer, you look like you're having one of your trademark adventures.
Homer: Danger... Mr. Burns... mini cameras... black vans!
Carl: Whoa, good thing I'm drunk!
Homer: Stupid drunk, oh no, he's going to warn Burns. I can't believe I'm
racing the same guy twice in one day.
Homer gets to Mr. Burns before Smithers.
Homer: C. Montgomery Burns, I know you're guilty accused... Sir.
Burns: Fine I admit it, I had a plane shot down. Aunt Hussy was getting to big
for her choppers.
Homer: No, you're spying on Springfield with your black vans and cameras.
Burns: black vans, arent they connected to some pizza concern.
Homer: What!? They were only pizza vans. Ohh, I'm a class five idiot.
Burns: Smithers, release the hounds, and if this oaf is an employee of the
plant, fire him at once.
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Level 2
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=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 1: LVL21
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Bart is standing in front of the statue of the founder of Springfield. Milhouse
is standing next to it.
Bart: I need to get the new Bonestorm or I'll be as uncool as Milhouse.
Milhouse: I'm standing right here Bart.
Bart: Hey hey, that's great.
Milhouse: You better get out of here Bart, Prncipal Skinner is looking for
everyone who skipped school today. And when you're caught, it's expulsion,
Bart, expulsion!!
Bart gets into his car and drives to the Try-N-Save but not after dodging
Mr. Skinner. Jimbo is standing at the front of the store.
Jimbo: To late losers, I got the last game! Some crazy lady destroyed all the
rest.
Bart: Oh when will people learn that video games don't kill people, they just
kills there minds.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 2: LVL22
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart goes around the corner to Herman's where Kearney is hanging out.
Bart: How am I gonna get that new game?
Kearney: Who cares? Video games are so late 90s. Illegal fireworks are all the
rage now. Better make it snappy though if you want to be apart of this trend.
Bart then drives to Moe's where Otto is hanging out outside the store.
Bart: One box of your finest quality chinese frog loggers.
Otto: Here you go, toquilas and chinese sky candies, they'll blow you away!
Bart grabs the stuff and then heads into the bar.
Moe: Sorry Bart, I can't sell booze to a minor, it ain't right.
Bart: I'm here about fireworks
Moe: Oh he** yeah!
Bart gets the fireworks from Moe and then heads over to Town Hall to talk to
Snake.
Bart: One dozen of your best tiowana fire crackers!
Snake: Here you go kid dude, don't blow your hand off, or do, what do I care!
Bart grabs more fireworks and then he goes down to the Police Station to talk
to Ralph.
Bart: Ralph, word in the hood is that you have access to your dad's fireworks
stash.
Ralph: Fireworks make my ears yell!
Bart: Here's some gum drops, now make with the works!
Ralph: My daddy's gonna put you in jail.
What do you know, right after Bart collects the fireworks, the police across
the street comes after Bart. Bart gets in his car and loses the cops.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 3: LVL23
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart drives down to the Googoplex to talk to the one and only, Comic Book Guy.
Bart: Hey, chocolate and fat, you know where I can get a copy of Bonestorm 2?
Comic Book Guy: Yes, I have no time to converse with you, I must be first to
register my disgust on the internet regarding the new McBane film. The action
was dismal and the nudity was frustratingly fleeting. I barely got going.
Bart: Quick, to the fat-mobile, hahaha!!
Comic Book Guy: Yes, I suppose, but must we call it that?
Comic Book Guy and Bart get to the Java Server before the nerd.
Comic Book Guy: I am happy to report that your quest for Bonestorm 2 is quite
futile. Proffesor Frink posted a message on my news group,
alt.furryanimals.fanfiction.net, that he has bought up all of the remaining
games.
Bart: Ohhh.
Comic Book Guy: I thank you not moan in my mid-sized vehicle.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL24
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart must go talk to Proffesor Frink so, he goes down to the stadium where
Frink is hanging out.
Bart: I gotta play Bonestorm 2, gimme one!!
Frink: No can do my pointy headed friend, I need the power of video game
violence to run my latest invention-slash-monster. If you find me a
World War II communication radio and a sattelite, then my creation will live,
and we can play with it and enjoy the frollicking.
Bart: Ohh, cool, real violence is way better than TV violence! It's like a
level boss come to life. Now who would have a World War II radio? That
guy that sells all those grenades to Nelson might! I better check.
Bart gets in his car and follows one of the black pizza vans to Chief Wiggum.
Bart: Hey, Springfield's lamest, what's the deal?
Chief Wiggum: Didn't you hear? Herman's been robbed, do you know who did it,
'cause if you did, boy that would be great.
Bart: Oh no, now where am I gonna get a radio?
Chief Wiggum: These fresh skid marks leading away from the scene of the crime
could be a clue but whose to say, really?
Bart follows the clues which lead him to the highway where Snake is standing
in the middle of the road.
Bart: Hey Snake, what's up.
Snake: Um, do I know you little dude?
Bart: I need that radio you "borrowed".
Snake: No way litle dude this radio is gonna help me score bodacious chicks!
Bart: uh, last time I checked, chicks liked fast cars not old electronics. Why
don't we race for the radio!
Snake: Oh i totally agree to your proposal!
Bart and Snake race and what do you know, Bart wins! He gets the stuff from
good ol' Snake and now he needs a satellite.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 5: LVL25
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Bart drives over to the Krusty Burger to find white trash.
Bart: Hey there mister slack-jawed yokal!
Cletus: That be I.
Bart: Can i borrow your sattelite dish?
Cletus: Sure, if you help me scoop up my flat meat, soffisticated city
youngster. Those darn revenuers don't like me selling road kill.
After grabbing all of the dead animals and gettng away from Apu, Bart and
Cletus deliver the meat.
Bart: Krusty Burgers are made out of road kill? That explains the tire tracks.
Cletus: Take this sattelite as a reward. She gets 14 channels including the
outhouse channel, I love wathcing that!
Bart: Thanks, hillbilly.
Cletus: Twas nothing.
Bart grabs the final piece he needs, the sattelite.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 6: LVL26
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart heads down to the stadium to talk to Proffessor Frink.
Frink: You expect me to complete a Mark 10 Truckosorous without a blender.
Why don't I just make a Plasma Blade without a tennis racket, for claving sake.
Now fetch me a blender with the purey and the frapey and liquidfey.
Bart: Now where a I gonna get a blender... oh, Doctor Nick, he loves blending
drinks during surgery!
Bart heads down to the Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center to talk to
Doctor Nick.
Bart: Hi Doctor Nick
Dr. Nick: Hi everbody
Bart: You seem like a heavy drinker, do you have a blender?
Dr. Nick: Nope, no ok, my monkeys have escaped, can you catch them for me,
I'll be so grateful.
Bart: Why wont they come back to you.
Dr. Nick: Because, I have tortured them horribly, silly!
Bart: There's no way I'll be able to fit all of those monkeys into my car. I
better get a big truck or something.
Bart drives over to Homer in the hospital's parking lot.
Bart: I need your truck Homer.
Homer: Why should I give you that?
Bart: Because I love you.
Homer: Hahaha, pay up, sucker!
Bart: You're charging your own son?
Homer: Yeah, guess I am.
Bart buys the Mr. Plow for 200 coins and collects 30 monkeys from the streets.
He then takes them to Dr. Nick.
Dr. Nick.: Welcome home, daddy's little angels. Now to put electrodes in your
brains!
Bart grabs the blender from Dr. Nick.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 7: LVL27
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart jets over to the stadium to give Proffesor Frink his blender.
Bart: Here's your last doo-dad, so can I see the Truckosorous thing.
Frink: Yes... is a word I would love to be able to say. Unfourtunatly, there
are too many people using cellphones and the interference would then cause the
monster to malfunction and kill many people. And my insurance is already sky
high with the premiums and shmemiums.
Bart goes out onto the streets and destroys cars with cell phone users in them.
After that, Bart heads down to the stadium to witness the Truckosorous.
Frink: Well done my little sociopath!
Bart: I like to smash
Frink: Now my robot will not go on a killing rampage with the screaming and the
sadness and the blood on the robot.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Movie 2: MOVE2
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart watches the robot/monster from his car.
Bart: Wow, Truckosorous is some kind of truck-slash-dinosour! I would've never
guessed.
The robot/monster suddenly looks at Bart.
Bart: Uh oh.
Bart drives away quickly after the robot/monster spews out fire. He gets out
of the stadium in the nick of time.
Bart: Yes! Everybody do the Bart Man!
Suddenly, a green, bright light surrounds Bart and makes Bart dissapear.
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Level 3
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=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 1: LVL31
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Lisa is standing outside of the comic book store during the evening. She goes
inside the lair.
Lisa: I need to find my stupid brother, have you seen him?
Comic Book Guy: Yes, yes, can't talk now, I must get the last copy of the new
Itchy and Scratchy Adventures comic. It's the controversial issue in which
they finally kiss! Assist me and I will aid you with your delema.
Lisa and the Comic Book Guy race the nerd to the boardwalk. Of course, Lisa
and the Comica Book Guy win and they get the comic. But wait, Lisa must
get back to the comic store before the comic becomes Near Mint Condition! She
gets back on time.
Comic Book Guy: Now to get this inky treasure into its milarch sancuary.
Lisa: What about my brother, you said you saw him.
Comic Book Guy: I think I saw him at the Noiseland Arcade. Ah videogames, what
a waste of money. Now to go online and bid 1000 dollars for an Itchy and
Scratchy corn-cob holders. Excellent, excellent buy.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 2: LVL32
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Lisa heads to the Noiseland Arcade. Milhouse is standing outside on the parking
lot.
Lisa: Milhouse! Has Bart been here?
Milhouse: Uh, I haven't seen him. Hey, can I buy you a frozen yogurt? I'll
throw in two dry toppings or one wet topping.
Lisa: Bart's dissapeared, you have to help me find him.
Milhouse: Well, he might be a Wall E. Weasel's. He likes the smell of the ball
cage.
Lisa goes to Wall E. Weasel's but all she finds is Milhouse.
Lisa: Milhouse? What are you doing here?
Milhouse: Lisa, what a coincidence! Hey, is that a new dress?
Lisa: No, I've been wearing this dress for years! Now, where's Bart?
Milhouse: (Sigh)I think he's at the Planet Hype.
Lisa drives down to the Planet Hype and what do you know, Milhouse is there.
Milhouse: Oh hi Lisa, fancy meeting you here.
Lisa: Stop following me!
Milhouse: I think Bart's out at the Springfield sign. Perhaps you'd like to
share some chewing gum.
Lisa heads out to the Springfield sign and of course, Milhouse is there.
Milhouse: Hi Lisa, my your hair looks pointy today.
Lisa: Milhouse, have you seen Bart or not?!
Milhouse: So Lisa, do you have a date for the dance.
Lisa: This isn't a good time!
Milhouse: It's never a good time!!
Lisa: Bart always hangs out at the Kwik-E-Mart, maybe Apu has seen him.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 3: LVL33
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Lisa heads to the Krusty Burger were she finds Apu.
Apu: Oh, this is terrible. A very bad man is delivering road kill to all the
Krusty Burgers which are cheaper than my Kwik-E-Dogs!
Apu and Lisa go after the road kill collector to steal their road kill. After
they're finished with him, they head to the observatory to see Proffesor Frink.
Lisa: Proffessor Frink, Proffessor Frink!! My brother, Bart, is missing. Have
you seen him?
Frink: Well, let's see now, Bart helped me build a monster and then he
dissapeared into a bright light.
Lisa: Wow! This is crazy. I need someone to talk to that is wise and learned.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL34
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Lisa goes outside and finds Grandpa right outside the entrance.
Lisa: Grandpa, can you help me find Bart, he's missing.
Grandpa: Maybe I'm just a seanile old man, but Bart's lucky red hat fell out of
that black car.
Lisa: Wow, Grandpa, what a great clue. You showed why senior citizens are
valuable members of the community.
Grandpa: I think my baby teeth are growing back, that's why I had to punch
that nurse.
Lisa: I better get something big if I want to take that car out, like that
School Bus.
Lisa drives down to Kamp Krusty to buy a School Bus off of Otto.
Lisa: Otto, I know I'm a little young to be asking this...
Otto: Look, I don't have any special brownies left, I ate them all.
Lisa: But do you think I can use your school bus.
Otto: Oh, right, cool. Meet my price and she's all yours, little lady!
Lisa goes around and destroys the Black Sedans after she collects the red hat
from the Observatory. The car was empty.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 5: LVL35
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
After destroying the black sedan, Lisa goes to Mr. Burns' casino where she
finds Chief Wiggum.
Lisa: Excuse me, Chief Wiggum, can you help? I've gotta find my brother.
Chief Wiggum: Uh, sorry little girl, I'm busy collecting evidence on Jailbird.
We're busting him on three strikes law.
Lisa: How many strikes do you have so far?
Chief Wiggum: Uhh, no strikes, but that's only because I'm very, very bad cop.
Now, first of all, if you're gonna go undercover, you are gonna need a
disguise.
Lisa: You mean like an eye patch?
Chief Wiggum: Hey, good one, if we could afford a disguise like that, I
wouldn't be payed in potato chip coupons.
Lisa: So, what disguise do you have?
Chief Wiggum: Well, here's one of Ralph's old Holloween costumes.
Lisa: Fine, wait her so I can get changed.
Lisa buys Cool clothes for 250 coins and then comes back to the casino and
gets into the cop car. She then rides behind Snake to get evidence. She
grabs a pair of jeans.
Chief Wiggum: Strike one: counterfeit designer jeans, the foulest of crimes.
She grabs something else.
Chief Wiggum: Strike two: running over an elderly person without a license.
Lisa gets the next thing and after that, they head back to the casino.
Chief Wiggum: And strike three, littering. Alright, we got all the evidence
we need on this low-life. Now, about your brother. I've seen lots of mysterious
goverment types over at the docks. Maybe they sent him on a cruise. They got
some good deals these days.
Lisa: Thanks Chief Wiggum, you are a good cop.
Chief Wiggum: Aw, you're just saying that!
Lisa: Yes I am!
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 6: LVL36
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Lisa goes down to the docks and to a stand owned by non other than the Sea
Captain.
Lisa: Chief Wiggum said that there were strange stuff going on around here.
Have you noticed anything weird? You know, black sedans, guys with dark
glasses.
Sea Captain: Yargh, maybe I seen something, and maybe I haven't. Render me a
favor and it might jar me memory.
Lisa: What favor?
Sea Captain: I've got a shipment here of live macrone. Can ye navigate the
fishies to the finest restaraunts in the fish port.
Lisa: Those poor fish, I mean, sure I'll help.
Lisa drives around and collects the fish.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 7: LVL37
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
After she's done that, she goes back to the Sea Captain's stand.
Sea Captain: Argh, thanks for delivering me catch of the day. Now, I can tell
ye, I saw your brother.
Lisa: Really?! That's great.
Sea Captain: Aye, he was in a long, black limo and... ahoy, there she drove!
Lisa gets in her car and destroys the black limo.
Lisa: Oh god, I destroyed the limo and killed bart!
Sea Captain: Haha, no murder ye be, he got out of the limo and boarded a ship.
Lisa: Oh thank you, can you take me there?
Sea Captain: No, I hate the sea.
Lisa goes to the ship and jumps on to it. She finds Bart.
Lisa: Bart, I found you.
Bart: (Talks giberish)
Lisa: Bart, Bart, snap out of it!
Bart: (More gibersih)
Lisa: What's your favorite catch phrase?!
Bart: Kiss my grits! (More giberish)
Lisa: It's no use, his brain is even worse than usual. I'll have to take him
home
//////////////////////////////
Level 4
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 1: LVL41
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Marge is at home. It's night time out. Bart's standing in the living room,
still screwed up.
Bart: (Speaks more giberish)
Marge: Oh, oh Bart, what's causing your ooga-booga talk? My special little
guys noodle has turned to google. The whole town's gone nuts. Security cameras,
mysterious vans, crop circles. There's got to be a connection. Maybe the police
know something.
Marge goes outside and gets in her vehicle. She then chases the cop car to
the donut shop. Chief Wiggum is outside.
Marge: Chief Wiggum, I need you to find out what happened to Bart. Can you
show me where the crop circle is? There's got to be a clue to curing Bart.
Chief Wiggum: Oh, that's cute. I'd love to help, but I have sugar withdraw
real bad, the donut shop is closed and I've got a monkey on my back
screaming for crawlers. Oh, he's screaming.
Marge goes after a donut van. She gets 10 donuts from it and then, rushes back
to the Chief.
Chief Wiggum: Boy for a busy body house wife, you sure get results. That crop
cirlce's at Cletus' shack. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a truck load of
donuts to eat. I'm gonna need a lot of coffee, hehe.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 2: LVL42
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Marge heads over to Cletus' dirty ol' house. Cletus is standing in front of the
house.
Marge: Excuse me...
Cletus: I don't care if you is from New York, you ain't taking pictures of
out decrappetude for no magazine, no way.
Marge: No, Cletus, it's me, Marge... Marge!!
Marge chases Cletus and picks up the things that fall of his truck.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 3: LVL43
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Marge and Cletus pull into a gas station.
Marge: You've got to help me. I have to find out what happened to my baby boy.
Cletus: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you was a city slicker, but I ain't telling
you nothing, unless you help us with the harvest.
Marge: Harvest? If I'm gonna be doing yard work, I better change or my next
"mission" will be to get mud stains out of green yarn.
Cletus: Now about your queery, my grandaddy saw one of your corn drawings once
but he's wth ala now. You should ask around with other folks about it. Maybe
try around the graveyard or something.
Marge: Thanks Cletus!
Cletus: Twas nothing.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL44
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Marge heads over to the cemetary to find Hans Moleman.
Marge: Um, excuse me Hans Moleman, can you help me?
Hans: Shh, I'm hidding from the police. If the police find me out past curfue
they'll throw me in jail. I won't survive another night in jail.
Marge: Well, I was wondering if you've ever seen a crop circle?
Hans: Talk to Abe, he mentioned crop circles once. Hurry up and get to the home
before the police lock the doors.
Marge races down to the Retirement Castle near the gas station. Abe Simpson
is standing outside of the home.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 5: LVL45
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Abe Simpson is standing outside of the home.
Marge: Grandpa, do you know anything about crop circles?
Grandpa: What, huh, I can't tell you about crop circles now, those lowsy
renegades stole my pills. Without my Agralieve, I'll start bitting nurses. You
don't need a lawsuit you gosh darn... crop... circles... Agrilieve...
Marge: Oh dear!
Marge jets to the school and finds Nelson on the baseball field at the back of
the school.
Marge: How can you hooligans steal an old mans medications? You give them back
right now!
Nelson: Oh, we traded them to some dudes in a black car for some PlayDudes.
Check it out, man, this one has an interview with the guy who invented the
Wa-Wa-Panel.
Marge: Hmmm.
Marge gets back into her car and goes to the front of the school to find the
black sedan. She chases the car and collects the pills that fall out of it.
After she gets all ten pills, she heads back to the Retirement Castle but
gets chased by another black sedan. After shaking the car, Marge finally
gets back to the Retirement Castle.
Marge: Here's your crazy medicine Grandpa.
Grandpa: Hot diggity, sweet medication, gimme, gimme, gimme!!(snore)
Marge: Oh great, now I need something to wake him up.
Marge goes to the Kwik-E-Mart and buys caffeine pills for Grandpa. She then
heads back to the Retirement Castle.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Movie 3: MOVE3
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Marge: Maybe these will jog your memory.
Grandpa: Ah what.
Marge: For the last freaking time, tell me about the crop circles!
Grandpa: There I was surrounded by Tojo and his Nazi henchman when one of
them, a racoon as I recall, hits me with a banjo. Now, I never reasoned with
a racoon before, let alone a Nazi one, so I...
Marge: Grandpa, what does this have to do with crop circles!?
Grandpa: Not a thing, now
Marge: Crop circles!
Grandpa: Ok, I have to tell it in C P Oton. As I recall it was kind of a
cosmic thing. A planet with an attena at the top of it.
Marge: A planet with an attena? That sounds awfully familiar. I think it was
at the Kwik-E-Mart that's it, it was a bottle of pop. Maybe that will jog
Bart's memory.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 6: LVL46
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Marge goes to her house and heads up into Bart's bedroom.
Marge: Bart, do you recognize this design?
Bart: (Some giberish) That's the alien mind control cola, they gave us tons
of that up in the alien spaceship. There using it to make the town go crazy.
Marge: Oh thank god, you've snapped out of your trance. I was so worried.
Bart: Later, I'm going to the arcade.
Marge: This conspiracy goes all the way to the top. I'm gonna need a little
extra fire power, as Officer Marge!
Marge purchases a Police outfit for 400 coins. She then looks at herself in
Bart's mirror. Marge then rushes out of Bart's room and then goes around the
town, collecting poisonous cola. After she collects them all, a whopping 30,
she heads into the Kwik-E-Mart to talk to Apu about this situation.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 7: LVL47
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Marge: Apu, I think you should be aware that you're selling a tainted cola.
Where's this stuff coming from?
Apu: Oh, there is little here not tainted in some way. Even the astroligies
grow give poor advice. But I will get to the bottom of this.
Marge: Well, it made Bart go crazy and if I find the distributer, I'm gonna
give them a piece of my mind.
Apu: Careful Mrs. Simpsons this cola makes people do errational things
without guilt. It's as though they have bottled the effects of a raging frat
kegger.
Marge: That's it, I'm going after them and any other evil cola trucks I find.
Marge goes head-to-head with the Buzz Cola trucks and she wins. She destroys
all of the trucks. But Chief Wiggum doesn't like that to much. He needs the
cola. So, Wiggum chases after Marge but Marge loses him and after that, she
heads home.
//////////////////////////////
Level 5
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 1: LVL51
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Apu is standing on the sidewalk at night. He gets into his vehicle and drives
to the train yard to a certain location.
Apu: Oh, I've been selling tainted cola. Unless I redeam myself, I will be
reincarnated as a sea cucumber, or worse, a land cucumber.! I must find the
source of this evil beverage. The soda in-voice commanded I come here but I
see no cola factory. Ooh, a cola truck. Time for me to do the hindoo that I do!
Apu follows the van and collects boxes dropped by the van as well. The van
leads to the mobs place. Louie is standing outside.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 2: LVL52
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Apu: Hello stereo-typical Italian. Pleased to tell me the source of the evil
cola.
Louie: We don't know nothing... except that the vans are controlled by
mysterious strangers. Anyway, you shouldn't snip your nose into other people's
business. It could come back to haunt you... and you're family.
Apu: Oh my gosh, you're threat has reminded me of my fatherly duties. I'm
supposed to pick up the otoplets at the hospital.
Apu drives to the hospital but not without the mob getting in his way. Apu
gets away form them and gets to the hospital where the doctor is standing
outside.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 3: LVL53
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Dr. Hibbert: I'm afraid we have a medical emergency.
Apu: Oh no, my babies!
Dr. Hibbert: You're babies are about to go to the bathroom all over my waiting
room and diapers aren't covered by your insurance. Ooh, you better hurry, I
heard the parents of the Shellbyville 9 are grabbing every diaper in town.
Apu: I will get the diapers but there is no way I'll be able to fit them in my
car. Maybe Mr. Homer will have a gas-guzzling American vehicle that I can use.
Apu goes over to the hospital parking lot where Homer is.
Apu: Mr. Homer, sir, do you have a over-sized vehicle that I might be
borrowing?
Homer: Borrowing, no, selling to you at an insanely high price, yes.
Apu gets the car for 500 coins and then rams the Shellbyville van until it
drop 10 daipers. After that, Apu races back to the hospital to give the diapers
to Dr. Hibbert.
Apu: Quickly, cover my incotenent baby's tooshies!
Dr. Hibbert: Whoa, that was close, another minute and my office would look
like the Gansees River.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL54
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Apu drives over to the Krust Burger where Krusty is standing outside.
Apu: Hello famous, American clown, I wish to ask a favor.
Krusty: Everyone wants to wet their beacks, uhhh.
Apu: I require information about trucks delivering evil cola. How can I get
this classified data?
Krusty: Sorry, Apu, I'm a drink, squeezy, punchy low-life. You need a
proffesional scumbag. Follow a cop until you find one. You'll have better luck
if ya, you know, look American.
Apu: Thank you, horrible man.
Apu goes out and buys an American outfit for 425 coins and comes back to the
Krusty Burger. He then looks at himself in the window of the Krusty Burger.
Apu follows a trail of donuts across town until he finds a the cop car. He then
follows it across town to Snake at the DMV.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 5: LVL55
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Snake: Hand over your wallet, dude, this is totally a mugging.
Apu: What good luck, a criminal.
Snake: Huh?
Apu: Well surely a violent, filth bag such as yourself could find out who is
driving the black cola vans.
Snake: Well, I do have a connection with the DMV but it will cost you. You have
to pick up the litter for my community service.
Apu: It is a deal.
Snake: Deal, now hand over your wallet.
Apu: Yes, yes, whatever.
Apu follows a dump truck and collects trash that falls off of it. After that,
he runs areound town collecting trash. After he collects everything, he drives
back to the DMV where Snake is waiting.
Snake: My friend has the information in the DMV.
Apu: Oh thank you, thank you my violent associate.
Apu goes inside the DMV and collects the information in a folder at the front
desk.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 6: LVL56
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Apu goes back outside to talk to Snake.
Apu: Sir, this folder is empty! To rob me is one thing but I never expected
you to lie!
Snake: Dude relax, ok. I got the info you need. I just need help on some more
community service. Haha, I am totally evil.
Apu: I should no better to trust a demented jucko but ok.
Apu: If you do not tell me who operates these vans than I will be forced to
use profanity.
Snake: Ok, ok, chill, dude. The museum runs them.
Apu: The museum? This adventure gets more exciting than the last!
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 7: LVL57
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Apu drives over to the bookstore near Moe's where Bart is hanging out.
Apu: Oh Mr. Bart, I have discovered that the evil cola is being made in the
Springfield museum.
Bart: But that closes in five minutes!
Apu: And my car is out of gas!
Bart: Just fill it up at the Kwik-E-Mart.
Apu: With those prices, no way!
Bart: Fine, we'll take my car.
Bart and Apu drive to the museum but the curator is leaving. So they destroy
the curators car, grab the key, and go back to the museum.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Movie 4: MOVE4
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually excited to go to the museum!
Apu: Sheba, the cola is dripping from that meteor!
Bart: Cool, free deadly cola.
The cola that's dripping from the meteor goes into the T-Rex's nose. That
causes the dinosaur to come back to life. It's eyes are glowing bright red.
Bart and Apu begin to back away when suddenly, Bart trips on the cord powering
the meteor and it destroys the meteor and the T-Rex.
Apu: We did it! We destroyed a pricless, archiological artifact.
Bart: What we? I did all the driving!
Apu: Let's find out who's behind all this strange cola businness.
Apu and Bart are inside a large vent and they're at the end of it where the
gate is. They see two aliens.
Bart: I know it's a cliche but, acurmuba.
Kang: Kodas, look at these space ratings for "Foolish Earthlings".
Kodas: What happened Kaing, "Foolish Earthlings" used to be the Number One
reality show in the galaxy. Space viewers couldn't get enough of these humans
and their behavior.
Kang: Our show is down in all key demos.
Kodas: But our show concept was so perfect. We film these idiotic bipeds with
hidden cameras and beam it into every television in the galaxy.
A TV with the Point of View of one of the bee cameras shows Willie stepping on
a rake and getting hit in the face by it.
Willie: I'll cover your mockers!
Apu: These aliens have been secretly filming an intergalactic reality show in
Springfield.
Bart: I knew there was a simple explanation.
Kang: I'm going to intruduce the evil cola into the water supply. People will
go mad!
Kodas: I like it!
Kang: Then we distribute laser guns at the Squidport tourist area!
Kodas: I like it!
Kang: The cola madden humans will go beserk...
Kodas: I like it
Kang: Destroying themselves and their town!
Kodas: Delivering big, big space ratings for "Foolish Earthlings"
Kodas and Kaing: Hahahahaha!!
Apu: We have got to prevent the aliens from distributing laser guns into the
hands of cola drunk townspeople.
Bart: Why that sounds hillarious, I'd watch that show!
Apu: I'll tell you what you're a bad little boy.
//////////////////////////////
Level 6
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=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 1: LVL61
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart is outside the video arcade at with Apu. It's night out.
Bart: Apu, you've got to help me warn Krusty of this alien plot, and thus
saving the good people of Springfield.
Apu: I'm sorry sir but I cannot speak English, I can only speak Heindi.
Bart: But you're speaking English now.
Apu: Yes, I learned these words phonetically.
Bart: Your just scared about getting vaproized by the space monsters.
Apu: Up, down, up, down, go hot dog, button your undershirt, blah, blah, blah.
Bart goes over to Otto who is outside of the arcade also.
Bart: Otto man, I need a ride.
Otto: No can do, little dude. I gotta round up these other little dudes and get
them to KrustLu for the studio tour.
Bart: That's where I need to go. Step on it, Otto.
Otto: Ok right after I drop these kids off at KrustyLu.
Bart: Otto, I just said.
Otto: Ok, stop hassling me midget Abraham Lincoln.
Otto and Bart drive the bus and pick up the kids waiting to get to the studio
tour at KrustyLu. They get them all and then they jet over to KrustyLu.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 2: LVL62
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Barney working at the studios and he's outside.
Bart: Barney, where's Krusty? I have to warn him.
Barney: Krusty's not here, Little Homer, he's down at the Squidport, doing a
promo for this new Buzz Cola.
Bart: But that's the cola the aliens are using to control all human behavior.
Barney: Control human behavior? No beverage can do that. Oh no, I haven't had a
Duff in two hours, my life is over! Ohhhhh!!
Bart: But I have to get to Krusty before the limo does.
Barney: And I have to stay here and go through the DT's.
Bart: Sounds like a plan.
Bart gets into his car and follows a truck to the observatory where Krusty's
limo is at. Bart tries to talk to the driver but he drives away. After that,
Bart races the limo to the board walk where Krusty's at. Bart gets there before
the limo does.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 3: LVL63
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart: Krusty, listen carefully, aliens are handing out free laser guns
and cola that makes you go crazy. It'll be a massacre, the streets will be
littered with lasered-off limbs and heads.
Krusty: Yeah right, and I'm getting into the Country Western Hall of Fame. It
just ain't gonna happen, kid.
Bart: Oh, I just gotta find evidence. Who do I know that's smart enough to
prove this alien conspiracy? Bumblebee Man, Comic Book Guy, Disco Stew, that's
it a! A nerd, Proffesor Frink!
Bart chases the cloaked-car and it leads back to the observatory.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL64
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart goes inside the observatory to find Proffesor Frink.
Bart: Proffesor Frink! You've gotta help me, no one believes my story, it's
just just like "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" except, instead of a wolf, it's an
alien conspiracy!
Frink: Aliens? That would explain the strange transmissions from my Plutonium
C-B Radio. I must've intercepted an alien message. It says they're hiding the
lasers in the dump truck. Bla, ho, ya, the plot is congriluted now.
Bart: Relax, nerd layer, I'll knock the lasers out of the trucks so I can show
them to Krusty.
Bart leaves rhe observatory and gets in his car. He drives to the Duff Brewery
and follows a dump truck from there. He rams the truck to get some laser guns.
After he collects six of them, he goes back to the Duff Brewery and heads to
the back to get a laser gun to show Krusty as proof.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 5: LVL65
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart drives to the taffy shop to find Principal Skinner.
Bart: Principal Skinner, aliens are distributing deadly lasers all over
Springfield. We've gotta warn everybody.
Skinner: All we've gotta do, young man, is get that eliscit goo-god of your
hands. Clearly you forgot the the schools zero-tolerance policy of lasers.
Skinner takes Bart's laser gun and drives away. But Bart goes after him and
destroys his car. He then takes the gun back.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 6: LVL66
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart heads down to Krustylu Studios to talk to Krusty who is outside.
Bart: Krusty, I have proof now! See this laser gun?
Krusty: Well what do you know, you were telling the truth. You've tought this
old clown a lesson. Uh, blah, blah, blah, excetera, excetera, stay in school.
I just wish you told me before I let them set up those free laser gun stands.
Bart: Oh man, I better get some heavy artillery if I'm gonna take out that
much private property. Hmm, Kearney should have something.
Bart goes over to Kearney who is right nearby.
Bart: Hey Kearney, I need to do a lot of collaterall damage in the minimum
amount of time.
Kearney: I've got just the thing. I have a car that was owned by a super
villain. He once conquered the East Coast.
Bart buys the Globex Super Villian Car for 600 coins and drives around town,
destroying the laser stands. After he destroys them all, Bart rushes back to
the studio to talk to Krusty.
Bart: Oh, why didn't I just do this in the first place?
Krusty: Oh, why didn't I realize that show girl last night was a guy?
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 7: LVL67
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Bart heads to Krusty Burger and finds Homer.
Bart: Dad, the aliens have taken over the Duff Brewery and they're using it to
store laser guns. Ohh, if only I didn't have to do so much explaining.
Homer: What, this is Duff's worst disgrace since Duff Ice. It's time to use
my secret weapon. Remember when I told you I sold my old car so you could go to
college?
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: It was a lie.
Bart: Yay, that's worth more.
Homer and Bart race to the Duff Brewery, getting there before the aliens.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Movie 5: MOVE5
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Homer and Bart drive into the Duff Brewery and see the spaceship come out of
the floor where the Duff air baloon used to be.
Kaing: The lasers were only the beginning! Even now, our all purpose evil cola
is spreading underground through your water supply. It will wake the dead!
Zombies will rise from the grave and devour the living!
Kodos: And our ratings will rise! Rise to levels not seen since the hay day
of Evening Shade.
The spaceship leaves.
Bart: Oh man, that sounds cool! I mean, oh no, I hope there plan fails. Who am
I kidding, zombies eating brains! Ohh this is gonna rock!
//////////////////////////////
Level 7
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 1: LVL71
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
It's October 31st, its Holloween and the dead are walking (and driving) the
streets. Homer is inside the house with Lisa. There are cobwebs everywhere and
there is a skeleton on the couch. It's night out but it looks darker than ever
before.
Lisa: Dad! The zombies are on the way, shouldn't we do something?
Homer: Not now Lisa, I'm trying to listen to the baseball game.
TV: It's the top of the seventh and, oh god zombies! They're devouring the
crowd. Now... ah, they're eating my brain! Oh, the pain! Ahhhhh!!
Homer: Oh alright, I'll get some survival supplies. Stupid Brockman getting
eaten by zombies.
Homer goes next door to Flander's. He has a gate around his yard.
Homer: Flanders, give me your first aid kit.
Ned: Well I was hoping to save it for Roder and Toder to bandage there
brain-eating boo-boos.
Homer: Just rub a bible on them.
Ned: Will that work to fend off zombies?
Homer: Who am I, Doctor Science?
Ned: Okely-dokely, here's the first aid.
Rod: Daddy, if the zombies are dead, why aren't they in heaven?
Tod: I hope my brain feeds a hungry zombie.
Homer grabs the first aid kit. Homer then goes to Cletus' next and steals some
boards. Cletus yells at Homer but he gets away. Homer then goes to Moe's
house. Moe's outside.
Homer: Moe, I need your chainsaw to chop up attacking zombies.
Moe: Then how will I defend myself?
Homer: Moe, Moe, Moe, shouldn't the weapons go to people who have loved ones in
their lives.
Moe: Yeah maybe your right.
Homer: I think I made my point.
Moe: Well, I better comb my hair before the zombies get here. (Sigh) my life
stinks.
Homer grabs the chiansaw and goes back to his house.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 2: LVL72
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
After dropping off the supplies at the Simpsons house, Homer drives to the
school playground where the Comic Book Guy is. There is a big space craft
above the baseball field.
Homer: Hey, you there, Smelly Sam. What's going on?
Comic Book Guy: The alien craft is using some sort of tractor beam to suck up
trespassers to their doom. Worst. Effects. Ever.
Homer: But that's real.
Comic Book Guy: Worst. Effects. Ever.
Homer: What's with the cool black car?
Comic Book Guy: If my knowledge of sci fi movies is correct, which it is, the
black car is an advanced probe for the mother ship. Now, if you're through, I'm
going to spend my last hours on Earth, complaining about movies on the
internet.
Homer: The gift of life is wasted on you.
Comic Book Guy: Yes, I recommend you obtain a zombie car. It will protect you
well but it is runned on human brains, slight draw back.
Homer: I've got plenty of those.
Homer heads down to the graveyard to buy a Zombie Car. He gets it from a zombie
for 500 coins. He then goes back to the school playground to follow the black
car. He follows it through the town until it stops at the the power plant.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 3: LVL73
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Proffesor Frink is at the power plant.
Frink: I'm glad you're here my morpobly obbesse ally. Based on my mathulations,
I've figured out the aliens weakness. It's nuclear waste. Yuck.
Homer: Uh, and how does that effect me?
Frink: Well it could save the life of you and your family.
Homer: And?
Frink: Look, I've loaded my vehicle with nuclear waste from the power plant.
I'm going to deliver this toxic payload to the alien ship, risking myself and
my delicious brain to zombie snacking which if you've never undergone that, I
can tell you it stings.
Homer: What a hero, I never knew his name.
Frink: Uh, it's Proffesor John Frink.
Homer: Are you still here?
Homer and Proffesor Frinkget into the car with the nuclear waste and they race
to the school playground. When they get there, they go under the beam and they
car begins to get sucked up by it. Homer gets out. Frink doesn't.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 4: LVL74
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Homer needs more nuclear waste. So, he goes inside the school to talk to Lisa
who is standing in the hallway.
Homer: I need to buy some nuclear waste, and fast!
Lisa: Why don't you ask Mr. Burns. His buried nuclear waste has poisoned
Springfield for years to come.
Homer: Good ol' Mr. Burns. He'll save us! Thank goodness for nuclear waste.
Homer starts driving to the power plant when suddenly, a plant car begins to
chase him. He gets away and continues on to the power plant. When he gets
there, he has to climb the wreakage a space ship made in the front of the
building to get to Mr. Burns. He climbs it all the way to Mr. Burns' office.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 5: LVL75
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
After Homer gets past the booby trapped office floor, Homer goes up to
Mr. Burns.
Burns: Ooh, is it you Merryweather, come to haunt me again. I kid you once I...
Homer: Mr. Burns, it's me, Homer Simpson!
Burns: So you're not the ghost of my former partner? Woo, wow, that was... wow.
Homer: Look, I need to get some barrels of radioactive waste to save
Springfield from the aliens.
Burns: I agree, illegal aliens are a nucence.
Homer: Not leafblower aliens, tentacle aliens.
Burns: Oh, in that case, here's a map to where I burried nuclear barrels all
over Springfield. And they said that they made them bleed from the heart. I
hope they... bleed from the heart.
Homer grabs the map off of Mr. Burns' desk and then goes to his car. He gets
the barrel of nuclear waste and drives it to the school and into the tractor
beam.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 6: LVL76
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Snake is in the school playground. Homer talks to him because he needs a car.
Snake: Wow, imagine, me getting car jacked. What a total switcharoo.
Homer: Just go.
Snake: And what will you do if I don't.
Homer: Flip you the bird!
Snake: Ok, don't get freaky, get in!
Homer and Snake go to the power plant but not before they have to get away
from another black car. They get the nuclear waste and drive to the school
plyground. They drive the car into the tractor beam.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Mission 7: LVL77
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Homer goes over to Grandpa who is walking in the school playground.
Homer: Where'd you get that sweet ride.
Grandpa: I bought it with my social security. Thank you Uncle Sucker.
Homer: Gimme a lift. I gotta save Springfield.
Grandpa: You're not gonna sacrifice me for the greater good, are you son?
Homer: We'll see dad, we'll see.
Grandpa: Ohh.
Homer and Grandpa begin to drive to the power plant but see a black car and
they must race it. Once they win, they get the barrel and head to the school
but when they get near the corner next to Homer's house, a black car comes out
of a drive way and begins chasing them. They get away and they get back to the
school. They put the car into the light and it explodes.
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Movie 7: MOVE7
=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
Grandpa and his new car are being sucked into the spaceship.
Grandpa: I smell toes!
The car explodes and sends the craft landing straight into the ground.
Homer: Eat nuclear death you effenement, wrinkly space wods! Hehehe, imagine
that, scared of some harmless nuclear waste. So very harmless. Ow!
Homer looks at his back and there is a third hand there.
Homer: Cut your finger nails!
The two aliens come out of the ship looking like they're about to die.
Kang: That fourtune teller was right, I do end up dying in a space ship crash.
A newspaper called the SpaceVariety comes up to the screen and it has the
headlines "'Foolish Earthlings' FINALE 1# Ratings Soar". Then the Simpsons
house is shown. Homer, Marge, and Lisa are sitting down on the couch.
Lisa: Dad, I'm really proud of you for rescuing all of us from that alien
invasion.
Homer: Did that really happen? I thought that was a dream after eating to many
raw hot dogs.
Marge: No Homie, your the town hero.
Homer: Sweet! And the ninja baby sitters? Was that real or a hotdog dream?
Lisa: Hotdog dream.
Bart runs in from the other living room.
Bart: Dad, your fans want you outside!
Homer: Fans.
Homer puts his Duff down and gets up to see whats going on outside. He opens
the door to show tons of weird aliens.
Homer: Oh those fans.
Homer bends down and grabs his newspaper. After he gets up, he starts to look
cool by making muscles and stuff. After that, there's a view of Kang and Kodos
on a cloud in the sky.
Kang: Atleast our show was a success.
Kodos: Why did we go to earth heaven?
Kang: Atleast we don't have to sit through the stupid video game credits.
Kodos points down. The logo for the Simpsons: Hit and Run moves up.
Kang: Nooo!!!
Credits roll.
The end.
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4. Contact Info
-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-
You can contact me at
[email protected]
-If you are going to ask me a question, make sure its not included in the
script. I'll probably answer anyway unless it is a stupid question like
"Who's Homer?"
-If I understood something wrong in the script, then please tell me what I
did wrong and I will change it.
-If here's anything wrong with the script, tell me and I'll fix it.
-I'll accept all the thank you letters and the hate letters, just don't send
me a virus, please!
-Do no send me l33t emails. I'll simply make fun of it on the message boards.
-No chain letters please. There just a waste of my extremely valuable time.
-Also don't send me spam.
-If you want my guide on your site, make sure you include the site in your
email. Otherwise, I won't let you have it.
-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-
5. Credits
-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-
I like to thank:
-Matt Groening and the other people who make the Simpsons TV show. It's simply
the best show ever and its taken my life away... ok its the best cartoon
and it's tied with 24 for best TV show... what.
-Vivendi Universal, Radical Entertanment, Fox, and Gracie Films for making
this game to be the best Simpsons game ever.
-Rockstar games for making the GTA3 engine. Heh...
-The voice actors that did the voices of the characters in the game.
-CJayC for accepting my guides and making GameFAQs
-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-
6. Copyright Info
-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-
This document is copyrighted by me, SpacePirate. If you steal this game
without my permission, than I will take serious action. If you wish to
post this guide on your site, then email me at
[email protected] and make sure you read the Contact
Information section. If I don't allow you to use my guide on your site,
than don't steal it. That's the worst thing you can do besides not
asking and just go straight to stealing it. If you do, be prepared to
pay. I have my connections!
Another thing you can do that can land you in some major trouble is
alter this guide. Wheather I allow you to use my guide or not, do not
change anything in the guide. I don't give a crap if there's a spelling
mistake and you thought it would be nice to fix it, don't change
anything. It's my work, not yours!
If I allow you to use my guide on your site, then you must stay up to
date with the version updates. If you are to lazy to switch the old
guide with the new, than I will take my guide off your site faster than
a slutty teenager dies in a slasher movie. Now, these are the sites that
are allowed to use this FAQ:
http://www.gamefaqs.com
http://www.neoseeker.com
Again, don't steal, alter, or do anything else with my guide. And, ask
before you post.
Copyright (c) SpacePirate 2004
