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L I V E & R E L O A D E D
"I'm back"
FAQ/Walkthrough Version 1.00
By David "Ryan_Dunn" Donaldson
Started on July 1st 2005
______ _ __
/ / // /) / ) _/_ _/_
--/__. /__// _ __ // / __ ____ / _ ____ / _
(_/(_/|_/_)</_</_ (_)//_ (__/(_)/ / <_<__</_/ / <_<__/_)_
READ THE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS SECTION BEFORE SENDING ME AN EMAIL
I WILL NOT ANSWER ANY EMAILS REGARDING HOW TO GET ENOUGH CASH TO GO INTO THE
BARREL. IF YOU USED MY FAQ, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE AN EXTRA $100. YOUR EMAIL WILL
BE DELETED.
1. General Information [1GAIN]
1.1 Introduction.........................................................[11INT]
1.2 Legal Information....................................................[12LEI]
1.3 Contact Information..................................................[13COI]
1.4 Version History......................................................[14VEH]
2. Walkthrough [2WALK]
2.1 Hungover.............................................................[21HUN]
2.2 Windy................................................................[22WI1]
2.3 Barn Boys............................................................[23BBO]
2.4 Windy 2..............................................................[24WI2]
2.5 Bats Tower...........................................................[25BAT]
2.6 Windy 3..............................................................[26WI3]
2.7 Sloprano.............................................................[2POOP]
2.8 Uga Buga.............................................................[28UGA]
2.9 Windy 4..............................................................[29WI4]
2.10 Spooky..............................................................[210SP]
2.11 It's War............................................................[211IW]
2.12 Heist...............................................................[212HE]
3. Game Information [3GAME]
3.1 Conker Review........................................................[31CRE]
3.2 Controls.............................................................[32CON]
3.3 Basics...............................................................[33BAS]
3.4 Enemies..............................................................[34ENE]
3.5 Characters...........................................................[35CHA]
4. Frequently Asked Questions {4FAQS]
5. Credits [5CRED]
/===========================================================================\
0=============================================================================0
|1. General Information | [1GAIN] |
0=============================================================================0
\===========================================================================/
The General Information section, which is in all of my guides, is basically
here so that you can use the faq more properly. If you want to know more about
me or if you need to ask some questions about hosting this faq on your site,
all the information is in this section.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|1.1- Introduction | [11INT] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Welcome to my walkthrough for Conker. You probably don't want to know too
much about me, but I have some free time so I might as well write a small
introductions. Besides, what's the harm? You don't have to read it if you don't
want to. Anyway, my gamefaqs contributor name is ieatdirttoo. Don't laugh, as
there are MUCH worse names I could have picked.
My real name is David Donaldson. I live in Hazelwood Missouri, in Saint Louis
County. Im fourteen years old (Laugh if you want too, ha ha ha). I am currently
in my freshman year of highschool. My first console was a Genesis, which I
recieved way back in 1998. At first I didn't really grasp the concept. Sure, I
played usually an hour day the most, but I never really got into it.
Three years later, in August of 2001, I bought the new slim version of the
Playstation. This is what really got me into playing. I absolutly loved the
thing, and I played up till late 2002. Around Christmas I got my Playstion 2,
which threw me further into the video game phenomon. I have at least 50 games
for it, though I have traded in quite a bit.
For a year and half I played the crap out of my Playstation 2. I was actually
what some would call a fanboy to Sony. This all changed in July of 2004 when
I bought the mighty Xbox. THIS, is what really fine tuned my intreset in
gaming. I have five faq/walkthroughs, three of them being for Xbox games.
Finally, in late April, I bought my Gamecube along with Resident Evil 4.
I have a total of nine contributions currently posted. Five full walkthroughs
and four in depth guides. My full guides are for the following games: Manhunt,
Max Payne 2, Call of Duty, Call of Duty United Offensive, and The Chronicles
of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay. My other guidese are for LOS: Vietnam,
MOH: Allied Assault and Riddick (three contributions for that game).Listed
below are the current sites that can use my faqs. If you find them on
any other sites(make sure its not affiliated with a site listed here) please
email me.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|1.2- Legal Information | [12LEI] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Pre approved sites.
gamespot.com
gamefaqs.com
gamershell.com
ign.com
neoseeker.com
gamerhelp.com
supercheats.com
This faq was published and is owned by David "Ryan_Dunn" Donaldson. This may
be not be reproduced under any circumstances except for personal, private use.
It may not be placed on any web site or otherwise distributed publicly without
advance written permission. Use of this guide on any other web site or as a
part of any public display is strictly prohibited, and violation of copyright.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|1.3- Contact Information | [13COI] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
If you have a question or comment about the game, or just spot a mistake in
the guide, please drop me an email at
[email protected]. I must insist,
however, that you DO NOT send me emails with common questions that are answered
in the guide. For instance, don't ask me how to beat a level that is already
covered in the walkthrough..
I've recieved tons of emails like "Im stuck at X, how do you get past it".
This kind of thing really annoys me especially when people send flame emails
back at me. I have answered a few of them, but NO MORE. If you REALLY cannot
find a clear way through, I will send a new stradegy to you. I may also
rewrite that section if it's sloppy.
Also, please do not send me hate emails. When you consider that I do this in
my spare time for free and recieve almost no thanks, it really does piss me
off when someone decides to be rude. Yes, you may have had a bad day, but you
are not paying for this guide, it is offered for free from me, so please respect
that. Respect is everything, as quoted by Rarusk.
Finally, I must ask that you include the subject "FAQ HELP" in your email so
that I do not mistake it as being SPAM. Also, do not sign me up for any damn
pornography sites! I get at least 20 emails a day from sites that I would never
go to! Please respect me as a person and don't be rude jackass.
Also, I would appreciate it if no 1 talked liek this b cuz its hard 2 reed.
ALSO! READ THE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONED SECTION BEFORE SENDING YOUR EMAIL.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|1.4- Version History | [14VEH] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
<-> Version .55 <->
Hopefully this guide has been accepted, and if thats the case, this is version
55. All of the subsections are done, excludin the soon to come cash locations
section. The walkthrough is finished up to the chapter "Windy 3". This is in
a three day backlog by the way.
<-> Version 1.00 <->
The walkthrough is completed all the way up to the twelfth chapter. I hope this
guide helps you!
/===========================================================================\
0=============================================================================0
|2. walkthrough | [2WALK] |
0=============================================================================0
\===========================================================================/
This is the main purpose of the guide. The walkthrough will provide detailed
information on how to get through the game. As of the first update it is only
completed up to the chapter "Windy 2". This include the poop ball area.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|2.1- Hungover | [21HUN] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
-------------
Scaredy Birdy
-------------
After that rather hilarious cutscene, Conker will wake up in the area in which
he conked out the previous night. He has a bit of a hangover, and like me, is
in rather pissy mood. Once the cutscene is over you will gain control of
Conker. Walk this stumbling idiot over to the scarecrow next to the fence.
The scarecrow will flop up into a bent over position and start a conversation
with you. Obviously, Conker wasn't the only one drinking last night. Once the
little chat has finished walk behind the scarecrow and onto the pad with the
letter "B" on it.
Another small conversation will start with the scarecrow, who explains exactly
what "consext sensetive" is. By his instructions, press B while standing on
the pad. Conker will pull out a beer and Birdy will scoop it up. Once the scene
is over walk over to the other B pad (near where you started the level). Press
B here to make Conker pull out a plastic cup and make a hangover cure. He drinks
it up and is back to his normal self. You can now walk normal, though you can't
perform many actions.
Jump into the water to the right and swim over to the small island in the middle
of the area.
Hop up onto the rock then you will see a small cutscene in which Conker explains
how to jump and do his "tailspin". Tailspin onto the log then up to the ledge.
Keep following the path until you reach a large door. Pass it up then go over
the small bridge. Hop over the gap then pass over the next bridge. Hop over the
next gap as well then go over to the large switch. Jump up and Conker will pull
the switch down thus unlocking the door you previously had passed up.
-----------
Pan Handler
-----------
Head back down the path and into the door. Inside this room is a small key.
Chase it around for a few seconds and a cutscene will occur. Conker picks up
a weapon from the rack on the far right wall. Three imps in wooden barrels
will appear. Take out your weapon with B then start wacking the imps around.
Once they are hit spikes will pop out from their torso region. Back up to avoid
these, though you don't have health so it doesn't really matter. Kill all three
of them then pick up the key. Use it on the door to unlock it.
Now head back outside and up the path. Go up to the gargoyle to initiate a
cutscene. Now wack the gargoyle with your frying pan to start another rather
hilarious cutscene in which the game makes a few self references.
--------
Gargoyle
--------
Once the entire thing is done head over to the rock and tailspin to the top.
Jump over to the ledge to the right and press B. Conker will blow up the rock
with help from some dynamite. Jump down and go into the tunnel.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|2.2- Windy | |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
-------
Mrs Bee
-------
You probably watched the cutscene, assuming your on your first play through. If
that be the case, then you know about the anti-gravity chocolate. All over
Conkers world you will find little pieces of floating chocalate. Each piece will
replenish one sixth of your life, which is measured in chocalte pieces. Just
thought I would clear that up now.
Anyway, head down the zigzag path collecting chocalate if you need it (if you
don't then it will become invisible when you walk into it). Head to the right
and you will run into a large bee.
The large Bee has had her hive stolen by a band of wasps. She asks Conkert to
get it back for her. Oddly enough, it appears Conker feels sorry for her and
will do it for free (or so he thinks). Anyway, head to the left of where you
started out and go up the hill. Kill the imp here (remember, hit then dodge)
and continue. Eventually you will reach the wasp hive where the bee hive as
been stashed.
Run up to the beehive and Conker will automatically grab it. A cutscene will
occur in which three wasps start chasing you.
Quickly run as fast as you can down the hill and back to where the large bee
was. Conker flops it down on the pedestal and guns pop out of the top. In
Conkers words, "Eat led motherbuzzer". After the large bee is done pumping the
wasps full of lead, head up the hill in the middle of the area. Some dung
beatles will "suprise" you if you get to close, so watch out. Anyway, head
over to the B-pad and press B.
It's Birdy! Pay him the $100 you got from the large bee and he will give you
the manual. The money will jump out of his pocket and come back to you, so that
doesn't matter. Now watch the cutscene which teaches you how to use the
catupult. Press B on the b-pad to bring out your slingshot. In order to kill
the dung beatles shoot them each twice. Once all four are dead head up the
hill and go right.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|2.3 Barn Boys | [22WI1] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
------
Marvin
------
Welcome to this rather idiotic place. Run across the river and head up the small
hill to the right. To the left are two blocks. Go over and talk to Jack, the
blue block. The mouse next you, Marvin, has scared the large pink block into
jumping on Jacks back. Obviously the large block is causing a strain on Jack,
who in exchange for killing the mouse, will give you a nice reward.
Go back down the hill and take the left path. To the left of you are two blocks
moving up and down the large hill. If you stick to the far left (Near the cheese
wall) then they can't crush you. Run up the hill sticking to the chees wall
and you will come upon a cheese farm (Gee thats suprising). Go over to Burt, the
other blue block, and start talking.
With the mention of Jacks name, Burt opens the gate to the farm. Go inside and
wack one of the many blocks of cheese with your bat. Unequip your weapon and
grab the piece of cheese. Now head back down the hill and over to your Mouse
friend, Marvin. He graciously accepts the cheese, but the greedy bastard asks
for more. Repeat the procedure two more times and Marvin will blow up.
The pink block jumps to the side of Jack. Jack tells you that there is
something "neat" inside the barn. Spring jump (Right Trigger + A) onto the pink
block. Jump up onto the drain pipe then shimmy up to the barn roof. Head over
to where the chocalate block is and step on the wooden switch. This will open
the door to the barn. Grab the cash then jump down. Head left while avoiding
the large crate and go inside the barn.
-------------
Mad Pitchfork
-------------
When you walk inside a cutscene will ensue. There are eight pieces of hay lying
on the ground. After a comment by Conker, they get up and start jumping around.
In the far corner of the Barn is a pitchfork. On the shelf next to him is a
paintcan and a paintbrush. They argue for a few seconds on which one will "kick
your ass". Run over to the pitchfork (Don't worry about the hay) to start an
incredably funny cutscene and trigger your first boss battle.
=========== ====================
BOSS BATTLE - FRANKY THE PITCHFORK
=========== ====================
Franky is invincible so you can't hurt him. The object of this battle is to
get him to use his one attack, which is jab, on the eight haystacks. In order
to make him jab the haystacks stand in front of them and do a tailspin right
before he hits you. He will hit the haystack which will dissapear. Do this for
each of the eight hay stacks and Franky will quit because he is too tired. He
will then try to hang himself only to find out that he has no neck.
Once he is defeated head out the door.
----------
Sunny Days
----------
Once you exit the barn Conker will be flagged down by a large bee, a.k.a. King
Bee. He tells you of a "big breasted babe" that he wants to "pollinate". She
supposably has "stigmas like you wouldn't believe". Head down the small path
and over to the sunflower. A cutscene will occur in which the sunflower will
tell you to go away due to your "long hairy tail". Okay fair enough. You now
need to find five sets of bees to tickle her.
1. Head back up the small path to where you met the King Bee to find the first
set.
2. Go up the path and over to the cheese farm. Hop the fence and go over to the
second group.
3. Jump down into the sewer area next to the jumping blocks. Kill the two imps
here then go to the very back where you will find the bees.
4. Right next to where you started the level is a group (Don't get these until
you have the other ones on the sunflower. This group is located right next to
water, and the bees will fly away if you touch water).
5. To get the last group head back to where you met Jack the blue brick. Hop
on top of the pink brick then make your way up to the Barn roof. The last group
is located next to the wooden switch.
Bring them all back to the sunflower to initiate a cutscene. Conker watchs is
awe, or possible in question, as the the Bee "pollinates" the sunflower. Once
he is done with her, she will ask if you want to take a "bounce". In Conkers
words "Now this is what I call a platforming game". Anyway, spring jump onto
her boobs and then fly up to the cash on the ledge.
-------------
Barry and Co.
-------------
Head back to where you found the King Bee and you will find a large crate
circling the area. Wait until he stops in front of the Barn window then spring
jump on top of him. Now tailspin up into the window and go inside the Barn.
You will see another cutscene here. Two bats will start to attack you. Ahead
of you are several pads with small cylinder boards connecting them. You could
balance on the boards or just tailsping over to the next pad. The latter is
easier, because you will have to use the B pad on the boards to fry the bats.
Anyway, make your way to the last pad where you will find a B-pad. Press B to
bring up your slingshot. See Franky hanging on the support beam over there?
Shoot the rope to bring him crashing down. Now jump down to start another
cutscene. Conker will befriend Franku, who promises to help him kill the Haybot
which is patrolling around the barn.
--------
Buff You
--------
=========== ======
BOSS BATTLE - HAYBOT
=========== ======
This portion of the fight is relatively easy. Hop onto Franky and start moving
towards the haybot. Franky has only one attack, which is Jab (B). Head over to
the Haybot and stick it in him (not like that). Anyway, he will start to catch
on fire (I wonder why?). Anyway, do this again and he will reveal the inner
terminator in him. Jab him once more to start the next cutscene. Wee!
-----------
Haybot Wars
-----------
You and Franky drop down beneath the barn floor. After that COMPLETLY ORIGINAL
cutscene you will be faced with the true form of the Haybot. Immediatly hop
onto Franky and head for one of the three large pipes. Go behind it and wait
for Haybot to fire off a "Suzie 9MM". It will bust open the pipe and water
will start to flow. This is key to defeating him.
Stay behind the pipe and Haybot will start to advance. Once he comes into
contact with the water his electrical outputs start to overcharge and he is
temporarily knocked out. The top portion of his body will start to rotate
revealing a large red button. Quickly run up and time your jump so that you
can press B when the button comes around.
Conker will punch the red button and it will take 1/3 of Haybots life. Now
do this twice more using the other two pipes to start a cutscene. Haybot goes
Bersek then blows up.
--------------
Frying Tonight
--------------
OK, time to leave this place. Examine the three pipes you and you will notice
that one of them has two large exit signs. Swim over to that pipe and climb up
the latter. Go around the pillar and over to the B-pad. Press B to pick up
some throwing knives. Now look around, you should see three wild cables. Two
of them are above you and one of them is below you. Throw knives at the small
wires holding them up to make them fall into the water.
Watch the ledge because falling in will result in Conker getting fried. Once
all three cables have been disposed of the water level will rise allowing you
to swim over to the next platform. Jump up to the B-pad and whip out the
knives. Take out the cable on the other side of the area then cut off the two
right next to you. The water level will rise once abain. Jump in for a swim
and start heading for the exit.
Conker has now found himself back inside the barn. Jump on the turtles stone
and he will flip you up. Tailspin over to the ledge and crab the Cash. Now
exit the barn.
---------
Slam Dunk
---------
Hop on the ladder and start climbing up. If the patrolling wasp comes to close
speed up or go down a bit (They sometimes knock you down to the very bottom of
the level and kill you).
Speaking of which, I might as well explain what happens when you die. Conker is
transported to hell (presumably) where he meets the Grim reaper, or Gregg. Like
in most adventure games, you have a certain amount of lives. You can increase
this amount by finding squirrel tails, which are scattered around the world. If
you die and have no squirrel tails then you can simply just continue and you
will be refilled. Kinda pointless, but the cutscene is damn funny!
Anyway, back to the game. Head up the ladder to the second platform. Here is an
Imp that you can kill. Repeat the normal stradegy (hit then dodge) then
continue on to the next ladder. Go up while avoiding the wasps and you will
reach the third platform. Nothing really interesting here so keep going up
the ladder until your each the final platform. Tailspin over the ledge to get
the chocolate then press B. Conker will do an Anvil drop on the area below
and thus open the gate.
When the hole thing is over you will gain control of Conker again. Run over to
the ladder and climb up to the rim of the bucket. Now carefully make your way
over to the next ladder then climb down. You are now on top of the Barn roof.
Make your way over to where the wooden switch is then jump down. Now head over
to where you found the third group of bees. The steel gate here is now unlocked
so head in and kill the ceramic dolls (same stradegy as with the imps).
Collect your cash then head back to where you started this level. Exit here
to go back to Windy.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|2.4 Windy 2 | [24WI2] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
---------
Poo Cabin
---------
Upon leaving that retarted place head right and go under the small arch. As
Conker said before, this area is a bit "pooey". With your oxygen mask on head
inside the small cabin where you will meet up with a Dung Beatle. If you get
his cows to crap he will give you a ball of poo (Gee what an awesome reward).
Head over to the B-pad and press b to open it up. You will fall into a large
river of, crap, where an Imp is eager to hurt you. Take him out then head down
the stream and go around the corner.
Kill the next Imp and you will come to a large room filled with Imps and poop.
Tailspin over to the rope and start climbing up.
When you reach the top of the rope tailspin on over to the next rope and start
climbing up once again. When you reach the top jump over to the platform. Now,
and Imp is patrolling the platform. Walk over to one of the boards next to the
plaform and wait for him to pass. Now jump on the next rope. Climb up just a
little ways then tailspin over to the slope that crap is coming
from. Head own the stream and exit this area.
------
Pruned
------
Just in case you lost any life on that delightful climb here, you can find
chocalate scattered all over this area. Just what is this area? A bullpin. With
every bullpin there has to be bullshit, and this area doesn't dissapoint.
Anyway, you met a bull the first time you got here. If you get too close he
will charge at you and knock some health off, so watch out.
Anyway, look around the area for a large building with balls of poop rolling
down the roof. Near the building are two barrels. Spring jump onto the taller
one then tailspin over to the roof. The poop balls will come in pairs, so make
sure your timing is right. When a pair has passed quickly jump up and head over
to the other side of the roof.
Here you will fin the source of the balls (the large hole). Anyway, wait until
the path is clear then jump up onto the ledge then run over to the roof. Run
over to the large tap sprouting from the building and start running counter
clockwise. After a few seconds a large amount of prune juice (You know, the
stuff that relives constupation) will fall into the feeding sink.
------
Yeehaw
------
Make your way back down to the Bullpin. A blue target has now appeared on the
edge of the island, and you need to get the bull to hit it. Do this by standing
in front of the target and pre-loading your spring jump. Right before the Bull
hits the target jump up. By hitting this target the Bull has released a cow.
A wall will pop up with an additional target.
Repeat the same stradegy as before for the charging bull. This time the Bull
will get it's horns stuck. Run around the wall and Conker will automatically
climb onto the bull. Now you need to hit the cow in the ass so that it goes
and drinks the prune juice. Once it has finished taking a few gulps the
diarhea will kick in. Ram the cow once more to make it explode.
Repeat the proceess twice and you will be done with this area. Wasn't that
an awesome craptastical fun filled level? Well it's not over yet. If you
watched the cutscene you will see that the drain in which the cows were
crapping in was busted under the weight of the Bull. Now jump down into the
drain (THIS LOOKS GREAT).
------------
Sewage Sucks
------------
You are now back in the large room under the cabin. The big difference now
is that its flooded. Go through the tunnel and you will encounter a B-pad.
Press B and Conker will get a big boost in confidence. Basically that means
that you can now swim underwater. Now submerge into the water and start heading
south.
Go through the small passage and into the huge room. Swim past the large but
still alive Bull and back over to the small hallway in which started out. Look
around this area at one of the pillars. You can now reach the wad of cash that
was previously inaccesable. Hoorah! Now head back into the starting hallway
and go up through the hole in the floor where the B-pad used to be.
------------------
Great Balls of Poo
------------------
Small balls of poo will now appear next to the cabin. They are unlimited, but
I suggest getting through this area as quickly as possible. Go over to the
ball and start pushing it towards the mountain. There are two paths you can
take, the left one and the right. Take the left one and push the ball as far
as you can go. The only problem you will encounter comes in the form of several
dung beatles. Avoiding them is rather simple. Just wait until they go back in
the small caves then pass'em up.
When you reach the end of the path Conker will encounter a massive beatle
who will chug down the pall of poop. However, before he does Conker puts a
stick of dynamite in the middle of the terd. The giant beatle is blown up
thus letting you continue. Another ball of poop will appear next to the cabin
so head back down and start pushing it up the right path. Avoid the dung
beatles until your each the very top.
Push the now gigantic ball into the hole at the top of the mound. On the very
tip of the mountain is a cash wad. In order to obtain this you must push
another ball up to the top of the mountain and use it as a booster step so
that you can spring jump to the top. Grab the cash then head back down the
mountain. Finally, the last poop ball. Push it past the mountain over to
the area where it says no poopballs.
Push it over then jump down on to the platform. Press B next to the B-pad thats
sticking out of the wall. This will make accessing the Bat tower much easier
and less time consuming. Jump in the lake and swim over to the entrance. Don't
get near the whirlpool though.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|2.5 Bats Tower | [25BAT] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
------------
Mrs. Catfish
------------
Right away you will be shown a cutscene. Apparently, these Catfish have a
"fortune" in the vault on the other side of the area. They can't get there
however, because a large dogfish is guarding the entrance. In return for your
services they will reward you with 10% of the fortune. Time to get your feet
wet. Jump in and start heading down the river.
After a minute or so of swiming you will come to the Dogfish. Before you even
think about getting in the Vault your going to have to somehow restrain the
dogfish. Dive underwater and head to the right of the dogfish. A tunnel with
bright light is over here. Swim down to the bottom and slip inside this tunnel.
Go forward and you will reach the next area.
------------
Barry's Mate
------------
You emerge at the base of a tower. Climb up onto the wooden floor and head over
to the cog (mechanical wheel). Go up the small set of stairs and talk to him.
Obviously, he has lost his other three cogs and wants you to get them back.
Conker flips the Cog over and speaks to his other side. Guess what? You have
to climb up the tower.
Look around for a small lift. Run over to it and it will automatically raise.
Take out the Imp at the top (hit then dodge). Now you're going to have to
cross an unstable log. Carefully walk across it. At one point you will step on
a B-pad. Immediatly press B to whip out a blowtorch and fry one of the bats
Do this two to three times just be sure.
Anyway, at the end of the log is a platform with a rope leading up. Jump on the
rope and start climbing (Avoid the Imp). Do this four or so more times (I
forgot the exact number). Anyway, at the top is a large rim of fortifications.
You could just pull the lever here and continue but some cash can be obtained
by tailspinning around the rim. Either way press the switch then start heading
down.
If you took out the Imps on the way down this will be a breeze but it could
represent a slight challenge if you haven't.
-------------
Cog's Revenge
-------------
Once you reach the bottom a small red cog will start jumping around. Equip your
bat and start chasing the cog. When you get close enough wack it then put away
your weapon and pick the cog up. Walk it over to the steps and talk to the
large cog. After that rather "pleasurable" cutscene head over to where you
entered the tower.
Jump down into the underwater tunnel and head through the small gate that you
opened when you pulled the lever at the top of the tower. Inside this small
tunnel are two black Imps swiming around. The easist way to avoid them is to
swim to the very bottom fo the tunnel and swim towards the next door. When
one of the passes head through (as long as its clear).
Surface the grab the cog. Now swim back in the same fashion as before because
if your hit by an Imp the Cog will swim back. Take it through the underwater
tunnel and back to the tower. Run over to the rack and put the cog on it. Now
head back down the tunnel and past the black Imps. Surface and continue through
the sewers. The last Cog is in a circular room.
Wack it then start making your way back to the taower with it. Head through the
underwater tunnel and hand the final cog on the rock. Once all three Cogs have
been placed on the rock head over to the large stone in the middle of the room.
Now start running in the direction that the arrow is pointing for a few seconds
to trigger a cutscene.
---------------
The Combination
---------------
The dogfish is now on an even tigher leash due to the chain retracting. Go
through the small underwater tunnel to emerge in the river. Now start heading
down the river over to where you first entered the area. Talk to the Catfish
and they decide to open the safe so you can proceed. Guide them past the Imps,
but don't worry about dying.
When you reach the vault the real snoody one will open it up allowing you to
progress.
-----------
Blast Doors
-----------
Ah another puzzle. Head over to the B-pad and press B to bring out your sling
shot. The wheel ahead of you is infinatally rotating revealing four arrows
pointed in different directions. In order to open the blast door you will have
to hit the arrows in this order: Up, Down, Right, and Left. It will probably
take a few shots apiece but it really isn't that hard. Once all four arrows
have been hit the doors will open.
------------
Cling's Lair
------------
First off jump down to the floating B-pad and press B. Conker will put on a
diggers hat with a flashlight on top. Now jump in the water and look around
for a second. You are at the top of of an incredably tall room. Like in real
life, Conker has breath so your going to have to get air. Luckilly, this will
come in the form of small air bubbles located in six small shafts.
Now start making your way down to the very bottom collecting air as needed.
The large eye like thing swiming up and down the room is called the Cling. He
takes off 1-2 blocks of chocate for every hit so watch out. When you reach
the bottom head through the green tunnel and then head up to the top of the
room. After the breather head back down.
Go through the blue tunnel this time and you will emerge in another large
circular room. Swim to to the top and look around for a large lever. Tailspin
up and grab on. This lever will open up a new route. Now head through the
green tunnel and into the next room. Take the green tunnel in this room as
well then head through the new route.
You are now in a tunnel very similar to the first one you encounter. Start
swiming up getting air as needed (it even has the little shafts). When you
reach the top a large pipe will come into view. Drop down it to get out of
this damn place. Oh and no, you were not the only person who went through that
at least 10 times before finding the right passage.
----------
Pisstastic
----------
"Pisstastic" huh? Take out the Imp in the tunnel and head to the end for a gut
busting cutscene. Apparently the little fire demons have gotten themselves
a high and now want to set Conker on fire. Now, we could beat the crap out of
them, but then we would end up like Richard Pryer. So what can we do to defeat
them? As the chapter title implies, piss on them.
From where you start out turn around and head over to the B-pad. Press B to
get Conker totally wasted the head out towards the fire Imps. Press B again
to unzip your fly and start pissing. Aim the stream towards the fire Imps and
they will be dry in no time. If for some reason your run out of urine (never
happened to me), just drink some more beer.
-------------
Bross Monkeys
-------------
=========== ===================================
BOSS BATTLE - BIG-BULLOCKED BOILER AKA IRON BALLS
=========== ===================================
Ouch! This boss battle goes against everything thats decent! Anyway, the
cutscene shows two of the Imps getting inside of the large boilder in the
center of the room. After a bit of tinkering around they reveal the boilers
special package. Once you get in control of Conker immediatly head for one
of the corners.
Head up the ramp and over to the B-pad. The Boiler will come stomping over
and will spray fire at you. Make sure he is in front of and press the B button
to make what what I presume is oil fall on the Boiler. While he is stunned hop
down and go near the boilers underside. Now press the B button to bring up
two bricks and slam his nuts together. OUCH!
Repeat this process three more times for each of the corners. Once the Boiler
has gone into overdrive its balls will fall off. Roll one of them over to
the context sensative pad (circular indent in the floor). This will open up
the door next to the pad. Now go grab the other ball and roll it down the
hall in which the now opened door revealed. Head through doorway at the end.
------------------
Bullfish's Revenge
------------------
After that hilarious cutscene start swimming like its for your own life. The
best way to avoid the Bullfish is to strim in a strait line. What I mean is
don't make large turns and you should be fine. He will eat the catfish too,
so that will slow him down. When you reach the dock he will jump up onto the
land and dock himself. Jump up onto his back and tailspin up to the three
wads of chash. Now exit back to Windy.
This section contains basically all of the general information about this game.
At this time (first update) much of this is absent due to me trying to get
the walkthrough out there since its my priority. Hopefully by the time the
walkthrough is finished or right after most of these sections will be done.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
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|2.6 Windy 3 | [26WI3] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Since we took care of most of your duties earlier, our visit here will be
short. Swim over to land but watch out for the whirlpool. Now head up the
large hill and back over to the area near the poo-cabin. To the left is a large
opening which was unlocked the last time we came here. Go inside.
You are now done with 50% of the game.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
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|2.7 Sloprano | [2POOP] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
----------------
Corn off the Cob
----------------
When you first walk into this area a dung beatle will confront you. According
to him, all of his friends have mysteriously dissapeared. He's getting out of
here, and suggests that you do the same. Yeah right! This is one of the funniest
boss battles in the history of gaming, even with the extra censorship. At the
end of the cutscene a deep voice will shout that "it" needs corn. Once your back
in control head left but avoid the large hand.
It will squash a piece of corn allowing you to pick it up. Go over and grab the
piece thenchuck into the large hole. Now head left and you will find a long
winding trail. Follow this (tailspin over the gap) and you will find the second
piece of corn next to another hole. Equip your bat and hit then chuck it into
the hole. Now continue down the path and you will come to another ring. Hit
the piece of corn thats jumping around then throw it into the last hole to
trigger a cutscene.
------------
Sweet Melody
------------
ITS THE GREAT MIGHT POO. Yes, this is the boss you've been hearing about.
------------------------------
BOSS BATTLE - GREAT MIGHTY POO
------------------------------
"The Great Mighty Poo" is a relatively easy boss. However, if your like me, you
have been staring at him for three minutes with same question on your mind. Who
could not love a boss made entirely out of crap? It's frickin genious!
Okay now, the first thing I should do is explain his attacks, or attack. GMP
only has one. He throws large poop balls at you much like the ones you pushed
up the mountain. These are easy to avoid and don't really damage you that much
anyway. Immediatly start running around the ring once you get in control. Do
this for about two minutes and Poo will start singing.
Quickly head over to the B-pad and press B. Conker will pull out a roll of
toilet paper. When Poo sings his mouth is wide open. Lunge a roll into his
mouth for another cutscene. Once that whole deal is over head back to where
you found the second piece of Corn. Might Poo will start chucking poop balls
at you again.
Avoid these by running around just like with the previous ring. Once he starts
singing find the B-pad and bring out a roll of toilet paper. Throw it into his
mouth then immediatly start circling the ring again. Wait for him to start
singing and throw another roll into his throat. The battle will start going
faster now, so I suggest you hurry.
Run back to where you found the first piece of Corn (be careful of the gap)
and start jogging in a circle. This part will go much quicker. When he starts
to sing run over to the B-pad and press B. Mighty Poo likes to change positions
alot this time, so time your throwing. Once he is in alignment chuck the roll
into his mouth.
Do the same thing once more and you will see a cutscene. The Great Mighty Poo
sings soo loud that the poo barrier in the back of the room preventing you from
reaching the cash is broken. He's not dead yet though. Quickly run to the back
of the room and collect your cash. More Sponduli! Now jump on top of the flush
handle to send this terd down the drain.
------------
U-Bend Blues
------------
Yikes. Run over to the large circle. At the bottom is a ledge which leads into
the next area. Jump down and tailspin over to the ledge (spring jump if you
need the extra distance). Head through the opening then jump into the water.
Don't worry your not going to die. Swim to the bottom of the tank and you will
encounter a long tunnel with three rotating blades.
If you get in the way of a blade, say good bye to Conker as a hole. If you try
to go through the blades directly, you will most likely be chopped up. Instead
I recommend following the top blade left the swimming through at the last
moment. This will you are never in the way of being chopped up and its easy to
swim through. Do this for all thre Blades.
You will come out in another pipe. Climb up the rope. If you look you will
notice that several large blades are rotating around on the floor. On the wall
is a ladder which you need to reach in order to progress. Jump as close to the
ladder as possible. You cannot outrun the blades Conker is not fast enough so
you will have to tailspin up.
When you reach the ladder climb up and you will emerge in a new area.
---------
The Bluff
---------
Fire Fire Fire!!! Cross the narrow bridge and you will encounter a weasel. I've
always had at least $1000 here, so I don't know wether or not you have to have
it. A reader tip would be appreciated. Anyway, Conker will fool the weasel into
thinking he is an Elephant. Once the cutscene is over head across the narrow
passage and over to the mini fortress.
Now head right around the fortress and you will find a doorway in the back.
Watch out for Raptors though :). You will emerge on the second floor in the
front. Head left while avoiding the raptors (Don't forget to grab the cash
jumping around). Make your way on top of the stone head. Now press B three
times and the head will go into the ground taking you with it.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
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|2.8 Uga Buga | [28UGA] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
This is the longest chapter in the game, usually taking around an hour and a
half minumum to complete. IMO it is also the hardest chapter in the game as
well do to a certain race which you must complete to continue. God I hate faqing
for this.
-----------
Druken Gits
-----------
You have fallen down into what appears to be an area filled with Cavemen and
rock monsters. The first thing you need to do is jump on top of the head that
you rode into this place on. Press B again to open up the archway allowing you
to pass. Upo doing this a rock monster will role up into a small ball and
park next to the Rock Solid bar.
Go over and push him while avoiding the other rock monsters (easier said then
done, I know). Continue underneath the arch and roll the dormant monster over
to the small tunnel. He will role down the hill and bust a large hole in the
wall allowing you to continue. Head through opening and you will be in the
sacrafice room.
You need to reach the door in the far right corner. Avoiding the cavemen is
easy enough, so head down the left path and make your way over to the corner.
Head through the door.
---------
Sacrafice
---------
Well, this looks a little difficult. I recommend not trying to kill the Cavemen
instead follow the walkway tailspinning over them as they come. Eventually you
will reach a large egg. Can you guess whats inside? Go over to the egg and
press the "B" button to sit down. After a little while the egg will hatch
reaveling a baby dinosour complete with a diaper.
If you watch the cutscene you will know that the dinosour actually thinks that
your his mother. Now start going down the walkway. Your friend will eat any
cavemen he comes across, so don't worry about them. Once you reach the opening
head back to the sacrafice area. Look towards the area where you first entered
this area and you can spot several cavemen.
Run over there and let your friend fill his belly. Once the area is cleared run
over to the B-pad and press B to whip out your slingshot. Look at the cieling
and you will see two large arrows. Launch a rock at the up arrow to make the
large structure in front of you raise its top half. Now lead the dinosaur up
the ramp he will stay there.
Now head back to the B-pad and shoot the down arrow this time. The top half of
the structure will fall down thus crushing the ill-fated dinosaur. Once this
is done the large dinosaurs mouth will open.
------
Phlegm
------
The turtle will appear in front of the dinosaur head. Like before, jump on it's
stone and wait for a few seconds. He will throw you up onto the dinosaurs head.
Two Imps are up here, so take them out (hit then dodge, or combo). Once they
have been taken care of head to the back of the head past the eyes and you
will find a wad of cash.
Ok, now head back to the front of the dino's head (Dont jump off) and you will
find two nostrils. They will repeatedly puff out a green smoke. When the gas
has temporarily stopped jump in the nostrils and press B to spray some pepper
around. Do this for both of them then jump off the head. Go into the mouth
and start heading through it.
You will encounter a large swinging ball. Its easy to avoid just run past it
when there is a gap big enough to squeeze through. Head left at the junction
then continue past the swinging balls. When you reach the end of the dino you
will come out what I would HOPE is a hole in a place other than his butt. Here
Conker will find a nice diguise to fool the cavemen. Now head back to the
sacrafice room.
-------
Worship
-------
The cavemen here will now see you some kind of leader and will follow you. Head
through the opening to emerge in the area where you first started this level.
You know need to kill the large rock monsters all around here. You yourself
cannot defeath them alone but the cavemen can. Go near the rock monster that
you want destroyed and they will do it for you. Once they are all dead head into
the Rock Solid Bar.
----------
Rock Solid
----------
After the cutscene run down the large slope to the left. Now look around for
a medium sized rock. When you find it roll it all the way back up the slope
past the rock bouncer and onto the switch. This will open the door in the
center of the the room. Now head down the slope again and over to the far right
side of the area.
Here you will find a large barrel of booze identical to the one you found in
the Bats Tower. Press B while standing under it to guzzle down some beer. Now
if you look around you will see several of the rock monsters dancing. Go over
to one of them and press B to start peeing on one of them. This will make them
turn into a rolling rock. "Roll" the rock over to the door you unlocked and
make him go into the hole.
Now you need to get rid of this hangover. Head over to where the barrel was and
you will find a small ramp leading onto a runway. Next to the ramp on top of
the runway is a stack of bottles. Go near them and press B to drink the hangover
cure drink. Now head down the hole you just pushed the rock into.
You will emerge on the top level of the nightclub (Yeah this place is pretty
screwed up). The rock that you previously "pushed" down here will be in front
of you. Now start pushing it up the slope the left. Make your way across the
ledge while avoiding the butchy rock dancers. When you reach the end of ledge
push the rock onto the switch to open up the other two doors d
You will emerge on the top level of the club (This place is screwed up). The
rock you previously pushed down will be right in front of you. Now start pushing
the rock up the slope to the left. Push it across the ledge while avoiding
the butchy rock dancers. When you reach the end push it onto the the switch
to open up the doorway.
You know need to get down to the bottom level. Underneath the second dancer is
a small ledge. Tailspin over to it then jump down. Now get wasted again and
find another rock monster. Piss on him to make him start rolling. Move down
one of the two doors you just opened. This will open up the large cage and
free your Girlfriend Barry.
She doesn't recognise you since your wearing the "disguise". Anyway, you need
to get the cash that was in here cage. Go through the center doorway then head
up the slope. Jump down to the ledge under the second rock dancer. Now tailspin
over to the cage (it's a bit difficult) and grab the cash. Now jump down then
head up the large slope. Go through the opening to exit.
--------
Bomb Run
--------
Upon exiting you will see a cutscene in which you meet the weasel capone. Once
thats all finished you will be presented with a new task. The weasel wants you
to kill all of the recently arrived cavemen. You have a minute and thirty
seconds to plant the bomb in the designated position or it will explode.
You need to be quic about this! Get your ass over to the dinosaur head as fast
as possible. Head into the mouth and start making your way towards the back.
Dodge the swinging ball and don't forget to go left at the junction or you will
lose valuable time. When you reach the back of the dino a cutscene will start.
Now you need to escape.
Springjump then tailspin over to the rock floating on the lava. Now QUICKLY
jump over to the next one, then the next one. If you don't go fast enough
Conker will get a burned bottom. Once you reach the last rock hop onto the
ledge then continue through the door.
------
Mugged
------
This has to be one of the most hellishly demonic chapters ever created. Yes, its
harder then then "The Driver" in Vice City. Anyway, the cutscene shows Conker
getting "mugged" by a couple of hoverboard riding cavemen (Back to the Future 2
anyone?). Anyway, one of them falls of the hoverboard right before they speed
off leaving you a chance to catch up.
Right when you get in control head right and go through the tunnel. Kill the
Imp inside here (hit then dodge) and go to the end of the tunnel. Carefully
jump out onto the hoverboard and press A to accelerate. Now pause the game so
you can get use to the controls. A is jump, which will be used quite often.
Press B to swing your bat at one of the cavemen, which you will have to do
thrice.
Okay now I will give a walkthrough for the basic course, though you will
probably due at least 10 laps. From the starting point go right and you will
encounter a heavily vegetated area. This is the ramp, which you should press
A when you reach the top. This will make Conker jump over the deep lava pool.
If you fail to jump this your gonna be cooked.
You will now pass through a series of close encounters where you will get close
to several rocks. Take the left or right path but you will have to be quick on
turning either way. After this you will go around a corner into a heavily
filled lava area. Don't jump the ramp or you will hit the gate strait on.
Instead head around it and into the tunnel. From here you will repeat the
process.
When you get close to one of the cavemen the possibilty of them being hit by
you swingin your bat becomes greater. So swing the bat and collect your cash.
When you hit two of them the course will change. Right before you encounter
the area with the ramp a gate will open up and the course will be blocked off.
Go through the gate and keep doing laps until you hit the caveman.
When you finally hit him the course will change back to normal except you will
have to jump the ramp and fly into the tunnel now that the gate has rised. After
this grab the cash and go through the opening.
-----------
Raptor Food
-----------
Hmm, this looks interesting. Once that incredably "special" cutscene has
finished run over to the two cavemen next to the door. Another cutscene will
occur in which a Raptor charges out (Sorry if I'm mistaken, I'm doing this
entire faq by memory which is something I rarely do). Anyway start running
towards the center of the arena dodging the bites of the Raptor.
In the middle of the arena is a B-pad. Make sure you have some time to spare
then go over to the pad. When the raptor is only inchs away from tearing you
apart press B and Conker will hypnotise him. Run over to the Raptor will
automatically mount him. Now you need to make this Raptor run around and eat
all of the cavemen in the arena.
To eat them, press "B" while they are in front of the raptor and he will lunge
forward and eat the caveman. You will have to eat thirty or so cavemen before
you can move on. If at anytime you fall off of the Raptor you will have to
re-hyptonotise him. Once the normal caveman are cleared several cavemen with
actuall clubs will start to appear.
These guys are pretty easy to defeat. Just gobble them up just as you did with
the normal cavemen. Once the large group is dead several ranged cavemen will
start pouring out. They tend to stick in groups so try to get several of them
with one lunge. Once that regiment has been eaten a mixed unit will form and
attack you. Just keep eating untill all of them are dead.
------------
Buga the Nut
------------
------------------------------------------------
BOSS BATTLE - BUGA THE NUT, OR SHALL WE SAY NUTS
------------------------------------------------
Once all of the cavemen have been cleared out the overlord of the region, Buga,
will come down into the arena to fight you. Yes this guy is the size of a large
whale, and no he could not "satisfy" one. There is only one real practical way
of beating him. In fact he can be extremely easy while using this stradegy, but
if your like me, and take a long time to get something in your head, then you
might have some trouble.
First off I will explain his attacks. He has a move where he jumps up in the
air then slams his body on the ground. This creats a force-field that will
travel 40 yards or so. If you are hit by this forcefield while on foot or on
the Raptor you will be knocked off your feet and you will lose one health block.
By jumping you can dodge the field and stay on your feet or the raptor.
His second attack is a club swing which deals tremendous damage. He has two
variations to this, the horizontal and vertical. Now, onto defeating him. When
he does the ground slam jump up then immediatly run over to the front of him.
He will hopefully raise his club to swing at you. You have to bit him in the
private area to partially stun him. Wait until the club is far away or else he
will block it.
When you do in fact bite his testes immediatly head around to the back and press
the "B" button. The raptor will tear a chunck out of his ass. Now repeat this
stradegy twice more and the boss will be defeated. Now Conker gets to meet his
"dream girl" who is about 50x bigger than he is. Once the cutscene is over head
around the ledge and grab the $100 bucks.
Now jump down and you will be back in the U-bend area. Instead of diving in the
pool head back to the Sloprano area. Now jump down into the hole (don't worry)
and you will emerge in the poo cabin.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
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|2.9 Windy 4 | [29WI4] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Now head back towards Windy. Go down the hill and cross the stream. You will
encounter Mrs. Bee again. She offers to give you $100, I mean $200, I mean $300,
I mean $400 bucks to get here hive back AGAIN. Okay fair enough. Now head back
up the large slope on the left side of the area. Go over to the wasp hive
entrance where you found the hive originally. Head inside.
Make your way down the walkway killing any Imps in your way (hit then dodge).
When you reach the center you will find the hive turret gun. Jump on and hold
down the Right Trigger for a second. THis will get the gatling gun spinning. All
around you are holes in the walls. Wasps will start heading out of the holes
in large numbers.
Its your job to take care of these "Motherbuzzers" so that you can have a safe
exit. This is going to take a couple of minutes, so be prepared. Finally when
you have killed all of the wasps hop out and grab the hive. Rund own the walkway
then head outside. Some wasps will catch up with you here so high-tail it back
to the Queen Bee.
She will take care of the remaining Wasps and reward you with a sum of 400
bucks. Now you need to explore the final part of Windy. See that large hill in
the center of the area? Start heading up it. Before long you will run into
several earthworms. These little bastards can be pretty trick so slowly make
your way up tailspinning over the hole.
When you reach the top of the hill a large barrel can be seen. Go over to him
and pay him at least 2110 bucks so that you can ride him. Now hop on and role
down the hill squishing the earth worms as you go along. When you reach the
bottom a cutscene will occur in which a new area is opened. Once back in control
head into the newly opened entrance.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
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|2.10 Spooky | [29WI4] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
---------
Mr. Death
---------
Van Helsing? Yeah. Anyway, start heading down the path and you will encounter
more of those Ceramic dolls. Wack them a few times while dodging their swings
and they will die rather quickly. Do this for all of them then head out of the
passageway.
You will now be in a large...town, so ignore the ceramic dolls to the left and
swim all the way over to the other side of the river. Here you will find Gregg
the Grim Reaper. Head up the ramp to the left and go behind him to view a short
cutscene. After this head to the left and start going up the long path. Once
the large demon head comes into view jump down into the blood.
On one of the walls in this area is a lever. Jump onto it and Conker will pull
it down and unlock the large door. Now swim back over to Gregg who will give
you a shotgun (YES THE COOL PART OF THE GAME!!!). Now head up the path and go
through the large door.
You are now in a grave yard. Start walking down the path and you will be
attacked by some zombies. Killing them is really simple. Hold down the right
trigger and a laser aid will become solid (RE4 reference?). Anyway, the best
way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head. Do this for all of the zombies
in the area then head through the gate at the end of the path.
This next part can be a real pain in the ass. Start going up the twisted path
taking out ceramic dolls as you go. DO NOT RUN. Skeleton worms will pop up
every once in a while and throw you off the walkway thus killing you. Take it
slow and be ready to shoot them at all times. When you reach the end of the
path go through the door.
------------
Count Bacula
------------
After that disgusting cutscene you will gain control of Conker...in bat form.
This is a little weird but the next part isn't to hard. You need to feed the
count until he explodes. To do this you need to grab the villagers wondering
around and throw them into the meat grinder. You have to feed him about six
or so, so make sure you look hard and good. The library has a few, as does the
main hall.
Once you feed him enough the Chris-Farley esque count will blow up spraying
his blood everywhere. You are now human again. Thank god.
-------
Zombies
-------
Now this is the part thats going to be a MAJOR pain. Conker is back in his Van
Helsing form, and he has his trusty shotty. The bad part about this is that the
mansion is now crawling with undead squirrel zombies. Your main task is to
escape the mainsion, though you will have to kill several zombies in order to
get the keys which unlock the front door.
KEY #1
From your starting location start heading around the room sticking to the left
side. Eventually you will reach the upper part of the dining room. Quickly take
out the two Zombies up here then start walking across the highbeams. Be carefull
and you should reach the key without too much trouble. Now head back across the
beams and into the grinding room.
Go around the beams back to your starting point then head into the library. Now
head all the way around the edge of the library (don't fall off bookcase or the
key will escape). Go down the ramp and head into the hallway. Go to the end of
the hallway and you will reach the main hall (Resident Evil anyone?). Inside
this hall is a mob of zombies just waiting to eat you. Avoid them and head
over to the front door and insert the key.
KEY #2
I recommend taking out a few of the zombies in here to make things easier
later. Once your ready to move on head over to the opposite side of the room
from where you entered. Take out the group of zombies in this hallway then
continue. Now head out into the garden where you will find a hedge mazer. Head
into the maze and work your way to the middle while avoiding zombies.
When you find the second key head back to the main hall. Avoid the zombies and
insert the key into the front door.
KEY #3
OK last one. Take out a few more zombies just incase then head up the large
set of stairs. Go through the door and head left. You are now back where you
started so head over to the ladder which was opened when you inserted the second
key. Head up the ladder then pull the lever. This will open up a secret passage
on the other side of the room next to the key.
Now start making your way over to the key by jumping over the blood pump. When
you reach the other side grab the key then head through the door you just
opened with the lever. The doorway leads back into the main hallway. So quickly
run the key over to the door to unlock it.
----------
Mr. Barrel
----------
In the main hall there is a large barrel next to one of the pillars. You will
need him to escape this place. Go over and hop on then roll out of the door.
You can squash some zombies if you want but its not necessary. When outside
you will have to roll down the twisting path which can become frustrating.
Once you reach the bottom head into the graveyard.
Now head through the graveyard and back over to the town. Go down the path to
the right and stop when you meet Gregg. Go down the ramp and into the blood
river. If you just roll off the edge the barrel will explode and you will have
to start over. Now make your way to the right side of the area and peddle up
the large slope.
Go over to the patch of land and grab the 100 bucks. Now jump into the hole
and you will end up at the "Hungover" area. Swim over to the little patch of
land in the center of the river then hop up onto the rock. COntinue up the
path until you reach the bridge. Now head into the doorway to complete this
chapter.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|2.11 It's War | [211IW] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Yes! We finally made it to the cool chapter! Anyway, you should be back in
Windy. Head around to the left slope near the Wasp hive. Here you will find
a small section of barbed-wire. Tailspin over it then head through the now
opened door.
-----------
Power's Off
-----------
A cutscene will be displayed in which a plane crashs in front of the dock exit.
This basically prevents you from continuing any further. So what do you do? Blow
up that piece of crap! First off we must restore power to the dock. In the
center of the area is a large pier with two beaches. Facing the plane head right
and jump down onto the beach.
Here you will find a large switch. Jump up and pull the switch down. Now head
up the ladder to your left then go back to the center of the pier. Here you
will find a small set of rails and a crate on top of them. Push the crate to
the left (facing towards the plane) then head back up to the entrance. To the
right is a bathroom. Go up to it and press B.
---
TNT
---
It's TNT! Dynamite! TNT!...
A grunt with TNT strapped to his back will come out of the bathroom. He needs
help moving around so we are going to "help" him. Now push him down the slope
and he will start rolling. Hopefully you pushed the crate to as far left as
possible. The crate should stop him. Now you need to roll him to the left
down the pathway.
Several crates will be jumping up and down making your job a little harder. Take
your time and you should reach the end of the pathway no problem. He will blow
up but only take half of the plane with him. Now jump into the water and swim
over to the beach where you turned on the power. Climb up the ladder and head
back to the entrance.
Go back up the slope and press B next to the bathroom door. This will reveal
another TNT grunt. Push him down the slope just like the previous one. The crate
will stop him and allow you to push him to the right passage. Instead of blocks
there are several motion detecter robots along this path. Don't stay too close
or they will explode taking you and the TNT guy with them.
Push the TNT guy all the way over to the end of the pathway. Blow up the plane
then swim back over to the middle pier. Talk to the commander then hop into
the boat. He will knock you out.
-----------
The Assault
-----------
Conker will wake up inside a boat. Around him are several Squirrels dressed in
WWII era uniforms and holding guns. Conker himself is dressed in a Captains
Uniform with the little "II" design on his helmet to last. No you are not Tom
Hanks you are still Conker. After that ripped off cutscene you will be given
control of Conker on the landing sequence.
From here on out the game will be strictly shooting. Right when you get in
control run over to the green flare and hide behind cover. Wait for the Tediz
to start reloading then quickly run over to the red flare. Take cover here and
wait for the gunners to reload. Now quickly dash across to the next flare and
then over to the entrance of the base.
-------------
Sole Survivor
-------------
As you near the entrance to the Tediz base Conker comes across another squirrel.
It turns out that Conker is the only one in his squad to make it up the beach.
This means that he must finish the objective (clear out the machine gunnners)
all by himself. After the short explanation, Conker looks back at the squirrel
only to find a bullet hole in his head.
In true Scarface style Conker picks up the machine gun from the dead squirrel
then plucks a cigar in his mouth. Welcome to funnest part of the game! This
weapon is relatively simple to use, just aim and fire. It will usually take
around 10 or so shots to kill one of the Tediz infantry. It also has unlimited
ammo, which is a big plus.
A large group of Tediz will spawn around you. It's your job to take them all
out. Start spraying them with bullets while moving around to avoid damage. Once
they are all dead head over to the corpse of the dead squirrel. To the left
is a large door. Shoot the lock off then step inside. The Tediz here will try
to fool you by hiding behind the crates.
Walk forward and the Tediz will start swarming out of the woodwork. Run around
guns blazing until they are all dead. A door on the other side of the area will
open and some lasers will be revealed. Go into the prone position (crawling)
and make your way underneath them. Now head right and take out the Tediz that
pop out (sorry if I'm not accurate this faq is being made soley by memory).
Head through the next set of lazers by sticking to the right. Kill the Tediz
that jump out here then jump into the next set of lasers. When you start to
fall start the tailspin and glide through. Another group of Tediz will attack
you so kill them then continue. Continue down the hallway until you reach the
lift.
Go down the hallway and tailspin through the lasers. When you pass this set
a large group of Tediz will attack you. This can be difficult so use the block
as cover and take the Tediz out one-by-one. Once the area is cleared head down
the hallway and pass the fire breathing guy. Now turn left and go through a
set of lasers. Head down this hallway and dodge the fire then head right.
Go through this set of lasers and take out the Tediz. Now head into the next
area.
-------------
Casualty Dept
-------------
Once the cutscene is over you will be attacked by a group of knive wielding
maniacs. Start taking them out in the same fashion as a Tediz infantry man.
After you have killed all of them a giant Teddy will be released from his cage.
This guy is the Conker equivilant of Lisa Trevor from Resident Evil. Start
running around dodging or getting behind cover while continously firing on him.
After a massive amount of firing the beast will fall.
Next you will view a cutscene in which a squirrel test subject asks you to
release him. Go over to the wall near where you entered the room and you will
find two switches. Flip either one, it doesn't matter. The squirrel will spark
up. Once the cutscene is over press the other switch to open the door on the
other side of the are. Go through the door on the other side of the area.
Head down the hallway and go over to the gun turret. Mount up and get ready.
What seems like half of the Tediz army will attack you through the two
corridors. Keep shifting your fire back and forth between the two corridors and
the Tediz will eventually stop coming. Now that the seemingly infinate number
of waves has stopped you can go through the door at the end of the hallway.
---------------------
Saving Private Rodent
---------------------
Honestly, after the introduction to the level who wasn't expecting something
similar to this? Anyway, you need to rescue Private Rodent, who somehow has
not died despite being shot at by a firing squad. Take out the Tediz quickly
making sure you take out the explosives one first. Once all of the Tediz have
been taken out a cutscene will occur.
Private Rodent is wearing body armor that is impenatrable, or so he says. Once
the cutscene is over start heading down the path. Go left and you will encounter
what I call the "explosives path". As you travel down the path you will be
constantly bombarded with exploding shells and those bomb spider critters. From
practicing I have formed a stradegy for dealing with both.
First off, make sure Private Rodent is right next to you at all times. Head
up the path. When you here a loud noise that sounds like something is coming
for you, immediatly run back a few steps. A bomb will fall down fromt he sky
and blow up. If you go far enough away then you shouldn't have any health taken
off.
As your traveling up the path every so often you will encounter the bomb
spiders. Private Rodent is invincible, so were goint to use that to help us out.
Whenever the spider gets close run behind Private Rodent. The spider will go
for Rodent and blow up. This does nothing however because Rodent's armor
prevents him from being damaged. Continue up to the end of the trail.
At the end of the path is a large metal door. Jump in the water to the right and
swim over to the large B-pad. Press B to ship out your now improved slingshot
a.k.a. Rocket Launcher. Fire two rockets at the two large bolts supporting the
metal door. Now you need to take out the remaining tediz. Use the rocket
launcher or your machine gun then head through the doorway.
----------------
Chemical Warfare
----------------
I know what your thinking! Too bad the tank isn't used more. Anyway, hope inside
and look around. You should see a large green substance covering a door on the
other side of the area. Fire off a rocket at the substance to open it up. Jump
out of the tank and run over to the entrance then head inside.
Run down the walkway and jump over the spider mine. Jump back over the gap to
make him fall inside the radioactive material. Continue down the path repeating
this for each one of the mines. When you reach the end pull the lever. This
will open the door near where you left the tank. The walkway around you is
slowly collapsing, so I recommend you hurry back to the tank.
---------
The Tower
---------
I honestly don't see why soo many people complain about this part. The only
frustrating thing is that there is no checkpoint and you have to do everything
over once you finish. Oh well! Heh just kidding. This part can be rather
difficult if your bad at platforming. Drive your tank over to the bridge. See
that tower int he center of the area? It has a large machine gun on top that
will fire at Conker unless hes inside the tank.
Wait the gun isn't aimed at you then tailspin across the gap. Make sure not to
fall down. When you reach the other side immediatly run up the ramp and press B
on the B-pad. Conker will slam the bridge down allowing your tank to cross. Hop
back in and drive across to the next bridge. Before you continue take out one
of the tower legs.
Repeat the stradegy for the next bridge. Hop back into the tank and blast
another leg off of the tower. The difference between this bridge and the
previous one is that several Tediz with grenades were guarding. Run them over
with the tank then continue on to the next bridge. Cross this and do the butt
blast to continue.
Take out the third leg then steamroll the Tediz. Make your way to the last
bridge. This one is kind of tough tailspin across, but hopefully you will get
it. Use the B-pad then roll over the remaining Tediz. Shoot the last leg and
the tower will crumble. Hop out of the tank and tailspin over to where the tower
used to be. Jump inside to continue.
-----------
Little Girl
-----------
After that cute cutscene is over you will be presented with a new task. In the
toxic waters surrounding your new-found island are several ICBM submarines. You
need to take them out. This objective is really easy though it's still alot
of fun. Head over to one of the platforms on the edge of the island and press
B on the B-pad.
Conker will take out a grenade launcher to destroy the submarines with. Fire
1-2 rockets at each sub to destroy it. If the sub gets a missle off just move
back to dodge it. When all of the subs have been destroyed on one platform head
on to the next one. As you go from platform to platform the number of subs
will increase dramatically.
Finally when all of the platforms have been cleared head to the center of the
island.
--------------
The Experiment
--------------
----------- --------------
BOSS BATTLE - THE EXPERIMENT
----------- --------------
I knew there was something funny about that little girl! Yeah, I'm bad with
jokes...Well, anyway, you need to defeat this thing. Once you are in control
immediatly head for the tank on the edge of the island. Hop inside tank and
look at the boss. He, or shall I say she, will pull out a pair of big guns.
Don't move, instead fire at the two guns to stun the boss.
Now unload your explosives into the little girl. At this point he boss will go
into a frenzy. Shoot the large red circle on its back to take away one third of
it's life. The little girl will get pissed any take out another set of big guns.
Repeat this stradegy for the next to sets and this boss will be taken care
of.
---------
Countdown
---------
You have four minutes and thirty seconds to get out of this base. Immediatly
jump down into the hole which was created when you destroyed the boss. You
will now have to go through a series of lasers like you did earlier in the
level (Yeah I know).
For the first set jump up and tailspin diagnally to the left. The second set
is a bit harder. Climb on top of the box then tailspin through. For the third
set you need to tailspin diagnally right through the lasers (opposite of the
first set). The fourth set is the hardest one. Climb onto the box then time
it so you tailspin through without hitting the upper bar.
A small group of Tediz will attack you. Considering what you've been through,
these guys should be no problem. The fifth set of lasers is one the most
difficult. Climb up onto the box and crawl under the lasers. For the sixth and
final set do the same thing as with the fifth set except watch out for the
extra bar at the end. Head through the next door.
The next part is alot of fun. Start heading through the room and you will be
attacked by some Tediz. Take out your...Rocket Launcher? Yeah...Anyway start
turning everyone in the blood splatter. Once all of the Tediz have been killed
head through the newly opened doorway. You don't get to use the rocket launcher
anymore. :(
This next part was one of the hardest in the game for me. You have to make it
back down the beach while taking out Teddy rocket launcher guys that can kill
you in one hit! There is a checkpoint here though, or else I would have probably
given up on this game. I made a small map.
_________|___ X | X = Start
/* | * = RPG Teddy
| ________________|
| *\
| * * * |
\________ * |
\ |
\ /
| |
Sorry about the lack of a word walkthrough, but I think the small map does a
much better job. Make sure that you take the RPG Tediz out immediatly or else
you will have to do it gain. Once you reach the landing boat a cutscene will
start in which you and the General talk about the Battlefield. "What as sight.
Yes it is...". Gee I wonder where that was.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|2.12 Heist | [212HS] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
------------------
The Windmills Dead
------------------
Head over to the center of the area. Climb up the winding hill (The worms are
dead for good) then head over to the windmill. After the cutscene jump down
into the hole then head for the doorway. Have a little chat with the Weasel
here and finally meet up with your girlfriend.
----------------
Enter the Vertex
----------------
You and Berri have been hired by the Weasel to knock over a bank. This chapter
is more fun than difficult, so don't sweat over the enemies. You and Berri take
an elevator up to a large room filled with pillars. Blocking you from continuing
are several laser sets that will only be deactivated when you kill enough
weasels.
Use the B-pads to the left and right to do that spring jump from the Matrix
and start shooting the Weasels. Like I said before this chapter is more for
fun then a challenge. When the first set of lasers is deactivated move on to
the next set. Do the same thing you did with the previous set and repeat it
for the remaining ones.
When all of the lases have been deactivated head through the door on the other
side of the room. In here are several stacks of money. Run around grabbing
them until the cutscene occurs. More De Niro!
---------
The Vault
---------
Why some people think the cutscene you just saw is "sad" I will never know. Once
it's finished head over to the lever underneath the throne and pull it down.
This will open a door with a large space suit. Run over to equip the suit.
----------------- -----------------------------------------
FINAL BOSS BATTLE - HEINRICH AKA SIGOURNY WEAVER REINCARNATED
----------------- -----------------------------------------
If this doesn't look like an Alien, I don't know what does. This boss had two
different attacks. The tailswing, which will knock you off your feet, and the
bite, which will knock you back and take away a health block. In order to
avoid the tail swing jump up before it hits you. To dodge the bit just crouch
by using the left trigger.
Your objective is to throw him out of the loading bay. In order to do this you
must complete the punch combo (repeatedly press the right trigger). The first
time is really easy, just avoid one of his attacks then knock him out. Now
quickly run behind him and grab his tail. You now need to rotate this heavy
guy (rotate the left stick, not just the camera). When he come in line with the
hole toss him.
Unfortunatly, he climbs back in and attack you. Do the same thing you did before
except being a little more carefull since the battle has a faster pace. Once you
throw him out for a second time he will climb back in again. This time he will
be much harder than before. My best advice is to crouch then follow up with a
combo. Throw him out for a third time to beat the game.
Too bad for the "sad" ending, but at least you've beaten the game and unlocked
pottymouth. Notice that Conker walks down a different path at the end. Do I hear
sequel???
/===========================================================================\
0=============================================================================0
|03. Game Information| [3GAME] |
0=============================================================================0
\===========================================================================/
This section contains most of the miscellanious information about the game. I
have this section in all of my faqs now. Here you can find the basic gameplay
mechanics and some info on other parts of the game. I did most of this section
in one sit.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|3.1 Conker Review | [31CRE] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Conkers Bad Fur Day was released in 2001 on the Nintendo 64. It was hailed as a
surprisingly awesome platformer despite its mature theme. Yes, BFD was in fact
a mature game in which the lovable squirrel Conker (From the old Conker games)
stared in. Despite it being of extremely quality, it was released too late (GC
was almost out) and didn't sell too well. Now Rare, which is owned by
Microsoft, has remade BFD and now we have Conker: Live and Reloaded.
Okay, on to the story. You play the role of Conker, a red squirrel who, after
getting himself wasted at the local bar decides to head home to see his
girlfriend. When he comes to junction he passes out. The next day, he wakes up
only to find himself hungover and sick. The story goes on from there. You
will encounter several other creatures in your travels, all of which are potty
mouths. Overall it’s an awesome journey, especially because of the hilarious
cutscenes.
Now, I hate platformer games. I just hate them. So, as you can see, I was a
little nervous about picking this one up. Man was I surprised! Conker has
absolutely amazing gameplay, though it does have rough spots. Puzzles often
involve you doing something your parents wouldn't approve of, whether it is
tickling a big breasted plant so a bee can "pollinate" her, or throwing toilet
papers into the mouth of a big terd, Conker certainly sticks with its
reputation.
The basic combat is easy enough, though it is kind of a big turnoff that Conker
doesn't have better melee moves. The creatures you face will come in all shapes
And sizes (sizes...) and will do anything to stop you. The weird thing about
Conker is that most of the enemies would fit into a Mario game pretty well
(Excluding the oven with the two "balls"). Make no mistake; this game earns
its M rating.
Conker is a beautiful game. Literally, I haven't seen a game this Eye-Dropping
since DOOM3. Everything is so light and colorful. The textures are extremely
high resolution and sharp. Conker himself looks breathtaking. Each individual
hair on his body is drawn out. The environments are huge, yet the game runs at
a constant 30fps. The main drawback is that load times, while quick, happen
very often. By the end of the game you will be extremely annoyed.
Sound is another story. The game is full of nice little melodies that make you
want to dance, but it's lacking something, Attitude. Duke Nukem anyone? Where
is the Metallica? Seriously some real music would fit inside the game perfectly
The character dialogue is as hilarious as it is controversial. Name a cuss word
and this game has it. While the more serious cusswords are bleeped out (makes
it even funnier), there is still plenty of language.
Overall Conker is a great game and can be enjoyed by everyone who can handle
the content. I don't have Live so don't ask me if you’re just getting it for
the multiplayer.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|3.2 Controls | [32CON] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
------------------------
Platformer Configuration
------------------------
A - Jump (Pressing it twice will do the tailspin)
B - Consext Sensative Action
Right Trigger + A - Spring Jump
Right Trigger - Crouch
--------------------------
Melee Weapon Configuration
--------------------------
A - Jump (no tailspin)
B - Equip/Unequip
Right Trigger- Hit
---------------------------
Ranged Weapon Configuration
---------------------------
A - Jump (Tailspin included)
B - Equip/Unequip
Right Trigger - Fire
------------------------
Space Suit Configuration
------------------------
A - Jetpack
Right Trigger - Attack
Left Trigger - Crouch
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|3.3 Basics | [33BAS] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
------
Health
------
Aside from the first chapter you will have to manage how much health you have.
This is represented in chocalate blocks that are found scattered all over the
world. In order to get the block just run into it and a chewing noise will play
and the chocalate will dissapear. If you are at full health chocalate will just
become invisible when you walk over it. When all of your blocks are gone Conker
will die. Chocolate bocks will respawn accordingly.
-----
Lives
-----
The number of lives you have is represented by the number of Squirrel tails you
have. If you never die through-out the whole game the squirrel tails will never
appear. If you do however than you will be transported to what I assume is hell
and view a rather funny cutscene. This only happens the first time sadly. Lives
are kind of a gimmick though. If you die and have 0 tails you will reload your
game with three tails and full health.
-------
Jumping
-------
This is the key element to all platformers. Jumping in Conker is a little more
complicated than in other platformers such as Mario 64, but at the core it's
still relatively simple. Jumping is the first move you learn to do. In the
chapter "Hungover" Conker will remember how to perform the feat when he reachs
the top of the waterfall. Its the most basic of moves and can be performed
in almost any situation including in water.
So how do you jump? Like I said before, its relatively simple. While on the
ground or in water press the "A" button. Conker will thrust upward into the air
for a second. If you want to continue your jump you can press and hold the A
button again. Conker will spin his tail allowing you a few more seconds of
flight. You can also spring jump by holding the right trigger and pressing A.
This time Conker will spring up into the air at twice the previous hieght.
--------
Fighting
--------
Fighting, like jumping, is simple as well. In the very first chapter you will
get a bat with nails sticking out of it. This will be your main weapon for 3/4
of the game. In order to equip it press the B button. To unequip it press B
again. In order to swing the bat press the right trigger. You can perform a
combo by press the Right Trigger then pausing for a second then pressing it
again twice. This combo will kill an Imp instantly.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|3.4 Enemies | [34ENE] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
<-------------------->
IMP
===
Description: These guys are pretty crude enemies. They are the first you will
meet and the first to go (as in leave the gameplay). In my opinion they are
very annoying due to their one attack. Whenever you get too close to one they
will pop out a row of spoikes in a 360 degree angle all around their body. After
a few seconds this will go away but it makes fighting them rather annoying.
Hit them around 4-6 times or do a combo to defeat them.
<-------------------->
CERAMIC DOLLS
=============
Description: You can tell that this enemy was thrown in at the last second as
some filler. Their basic appearance consists of a tight fitting dress. They have
only one attack, in which they wack you with their bare hands. In essence they
are very similar to the Imps because of the fact they are dumb, slow and very
weak. A couple hits will break them into pieces.
<-------------------->
DUNG BEATLES
============
Description: Dung Beatles are located near and around the large mound of poo.
They are immortal except when using the slingshot. Unfortunatly, you can only
kill four of them in the entire game. They have a few different moves but it
all boils down to them flying over to you and squashing you like a small insect.
This only takes off one health block which isn''t too bad but it still annoying.
<-------------------->
FIRE IMPS
=========
Description: Conker has the most awesome ability for defeating these guys. One
your first and only encounter there is a large barrel of beer. Go get tanked
then press B to pull your pants down. Now piss away and put the fire out. The
cutscene involving fire imps is pretty funny, so go ahead and watch it. The only
thing I didn't like was that they can set you on fire if you get too close.
<-------------------->
CAVE MEN
========
These guys are immortal to normal attacks so I wouldn't even try killing them.
The best thing to compare them to is an Imp. Just like Imps they are slow and
incredably stupid. It is ridiculously easy to dodge their attacks. Good thing
you kill them off forever, because I hate them.
<-------------------->
ZOMBIES
=======
Description: No you are not playing Resident Evil. You first meet the "Zombies"
while in the chapter "Spooky". Like in other games they are pretty easy to
dodge due to their low intelligance and overall speed. They can run at times
but for the most part you will be safe as long as you have your trusty shotgun
to blow their heads off. Yes the only way to beat them is to blow the crap out
of them.
<-------------------->
TEDIZ...NOT TEDIS
=================
Description: Once you reach the "Its War" chapter these guys will start
appearing They carry fully automatic guns though they tend to like to get
down and dirty by sticking their Bayonets inside you. Overall these guys are
pretty easy. Fire off around five rounds at their upper torso and its bye bye.
You can play as these guys in Chapter X.
<-------------------->
WEASELS
=======
Description: You only have to deal with these enemies for one chapter and they
are basically nothing more than cannon fodder. In the Matrix spoof just use the
Context Pads to jump around and unload a few rounds in to them.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
|3.5 Characters | [35CHA] |
0-----------------------------------------------------------------------------0
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Conker - What can I say? Conker is an normal red squirrel who just wants to see
his girlfriend and get some sleep. Unfortunatly he takes the wrong way home and
ends up wondering around the world solving various puzzles and defeating several
different foes including a giant ball of crap. Not exactly a normal day, but
as Conker says "its one of those days". Overall Conker is a lovable though
contraversal character.
Berri - Conkers girlfriend. She's a dumb chipmonk who certainly fits the
stereo type for "Dumb Blonde". Yes she is a blond covered in fur. Too bad you
only see her a few times.
Birdy - This is the scarecrow you meet in the very beginning of the game. Conker
isn't the only one drinking in this world. He explains what "Context Sensative"
is and gives you a little help here and there.
Queen Bee - She keeps getting her hive stolen and you must get it back. Her
husband, the kind bee, has ran off on her and she is obviously depressed. Shes
also loaded.
Franky - This is the pitchfork that at first tries to "kick your ass" but will
become your friend after a little bit.
Paintcan - This guy is a paintcan who gives Frank a hard time about not wanting
to kick your ass and about failing to kick your ass. Not very nice.
Paintbrush - The paintcans buddy who repeats everything the paintcan says.
Haybot - A large robot covered in hay to disguise himself. Pretty dangourous,
and a total ripoff of the Terminator. "Buff you #$%hole" is a nice example.
Turtle - You only meet him three times but he provides a nice lift when you
need to reach hard to reach places.
King Bee - The cheating husband of the Queen Bee. He needs you to get Daisy the
Sunflower to "open up" so he can go in and "pollinate" her. He looks like a bit
of a loser.
Daisy the Sunflower - Ah the beatiful Sunflower with large breasts. You even
get to bounce on them. Now this is what I call a platform game.
Dung Beatle - This guy rewards you with a ball of poop if you get his cows to
succesfully crap. Hes not important at all, but how many characters listed so
far have been.
Catfish - These guys reward you with a "fortune" when you collect it from their
secret vault. They aren't very friendly, and I didn't miss 'em once they
where gone.
Cog - This rude piece of machinery likes to insult you with a cigar in its
mouth and cog on its "shelf".
Great Might Poo - Yes, there is a boss in BFD called the Great Might Poo. Also,
his song is one of the most hilarious things I've ever heard. Though censored
a little more in Live and Reloaded, he still delivers a spectacular performance.
Who doesn't like a boss entirely out of crap.
Baby Raptor - This ill-fated creature helps you kill some of the cave men
preventing you from finishin the "Uga Buga" chapter. Too bad he has to get
sacraficed...
Mob Weasel - He hires you to get rid of the cave man problem. In the end you
find out that he is working for the Panther King.
Panther King - Your main foe through out the game, though you only meet him
once in person. He needs a table stand to keep up his milk table. From his
proffesors conclusion he needs a red squirrel to fir the gap. A.K.A. you.
Uga Buga - This incredable large caveman has a special "secret weapon" that you
need to reveal in order to beat him. Ha ha ha!
Gregg - "Gregg" is actually the Grim Reaper. He hates cats, and squirrels for
that matter. He has an incredably high pitched voice. His cutscenes are some
of the funniest in the game.
Proffesor - This German accented character is the one responsible for the Tediz,
chocalate and the demise of the Panther King.
Count - This is your ancestor who turns you into a vampire so you can feed him
villagers.
General - The commander for the Squirrel invasion. He has some pretty funny
lines, so be sure to watch the cutscenes in the "Its War!" chapter.
Private Rodent - Can you say "Rip-off". Private Rodent is a military expert who
Conker met while in the bar at the beginning of the game. He has expiremental
armor and cannot die. Its nice to have a shield that cannot die. He also helps
you operate the tank.
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|4. Frequently Asked Questions | |
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Q: I don't have enough cash to get past the weasels/barrels, what do I do?
A: I don't know, maybe you should look for some more cash. Use another faq if
you can't find any cash.
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Q: I'm stuck in the chapter ____ and I need help.
A: Read the faq.
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Q: How do I unlock the cussing mode (pottymouth).
A: You must complete the game once or get all six metals in multiplayer.
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Q: I heard that you could unlock the cussing in single player, how do you do it?
A: THERE IS NO WAY TO UNLOCK CUSSING. The audio files have the blips over them.
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Q: Why is the Sky Jockie so cheap?
A: Don't ask me. I didn't design the game. I am sorry you cannot counter.
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Q: When will you make a walkthrough for Chapter X?
A: As soon as I have time.
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|5. Credits | |
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-Rarusk, for inspiring me to write faqs
-A I e x, just because he makes 300kb guides in two days
-Rare for making an awesome port of a great game
-Microsft (notice I didn't put M$) for publishing
-Gamefaqs for hosting
-CDuke not only for his walkthrough helping me beat the game, but also for
the sub-chapter names. Thanks!
Copyright 2005 David Donaldson
