The most recent version of this FAQ may always be found at GameFAQs.com
(But for those of you on different sites, do you really want to
host a guide for THIS game?)
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
How to Play
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
If you are reading this guide, it is probably more because you are
amused about an unlicensed porn game on the Famicom, released only through a
mail-order magazine in Japan, than you are attempting to play this game to watch
8-bit porn animations. Seriously, people, the internet is your friend. Turn
Google SiteSearch off and remember to clear your cookies afterwards if you do
not live alone (and for those of you tinfoil hat types out there, huddling under
your blanket with a laptop leeching off your neighbor's WiFI and using a VPN is
also advisable).
As you may be able to tell from the title, the game is very vaguely a
parody of a certain Nintendo franchise, with the characters looking like a
certain short plumber and a certain brown-haired princess before she got ditched
for another Princess who's been called by two different names at different
times, both of which are also sexual euphemisms. Presumably, somebody got high
on magic mushrooms, mistaking them for regular mushrooms. The game is also a
parody of Duck Hunt, as there is a dog determined to cockblock you in this game
as well.
In a square, static single-screen area with trees acting as a border,
you must run around and attempt to catch a princess. The princess will run away
from you as you chase her, and a white guard dog of sorts will move around,
slowing you down if you run into him to prevent you from catching the princess.
Should you catch the princess, first you get to undress her. Catch her again and
you get a brief sex scene with the princess. She then gets her dress on and you
can repeat this process.
(From what the author can deduce, the princess is a cripple as in one
scene her arm extends away from her body prior to the part of her body above her
left breast, making it look like somebody hacked deep into her armpit)
There are actually *four* sex animation scenes that the author found
within this game, in addition to the undressing scene. Two are behind shots,
while the other two are frontal shots, which appears to be the more rarer of the
two (the author deduced this from getting the frontal shots 3 out of 10 times,
because seriously, he is not going to play through more than that to deduce
statistical probabilities).
In any case, for the all of two of you who actually want to play the
game (for purely reasonably purposes the author assumes, such as desiring to
defeat every game in the NES and Famicom library that was ever made), you can
mostly ignore the dog, though he will occasionally pop up in your way. Instead,
focus mostly on the princess. The princess will usually run along the border of
the screen, but she can make a cut diagonally when you are approaching her.
Something to attempt to do is to box her within a corner, ie. when she is in the
corner you are diagonally across from her so she is vulnerable going in either
the X or Y direction.
To actually 'catch' the princess, you have to come in contact with her
HEAD (and please do not email the author saying 'eheh, eheh, you said "head"',
presumably while chuckling with a Beavis & Butthead snort). Merely touching her
dress or nude form will not work.
There does appear to be one weakness with the A.I. of the princess.
Sometimes, NOT always, if you stay JUST slightly away from touching one of the
tree borders, the princess will basically run right towards you, allowing you to
catch her.
Need help with something that is not in this FAQ? Got a comment to make? Find
something wrong in this FAQ, or else just want to contribute something extra?
Well, you will have to keep it to yourself. The author is busy...in his
bedroom...doing, er, activities...yep...
