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Super Smash Brothers Melee
The Bowser FAQ
Made By Fire Link
Email:
[email protected]
Version: 4.2
Last Update:5/16/02
Copyright 2002 Fire Link <insert lame ASCII art here>
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Bowser says: Roar!
Table Of Contents
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-1.Announcement
0.Version History
1.Introduction
2.Pros
3.Cons
4.Basic Move List
5.In-depth Move List
6.Stategys/Combos
7.Character Stategys
8.Level Stategys
9.Classic Mode
10.Adventure Mode
11.All-Star Mode
12.Break The Targets
13.Home Run Contest
14.Multi-Man Melee
15.Event Matchs
16.Special Melee(s)
17.Items
18.FAQ
19.Coming Soon
20.CPU Kirby Jokes
21.Credits
22.Legal Stuff
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0.Version History
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Version 4.2- Just added a few things people sent to me, some of them I lost
so you can send them again if you dont see it. Havent updated in like 2
months.. ill start working again. Removed Announcement
Version 4.0- Added a few minor things. I still need to work on the character
stategys section some more..
Version 3.7- Added my announcement and updated some stategys. Im redoing
alot of the character stategys because alot of them arent good.
Version 3.5- Dangit. Because of stupid America Online, some of my old emails
that contained high scores and tips were deleted, and i couldnt put them in
the FAQ. If you send me a score/tip thats not on here, please send it again
and ill make sure to put it up ASAP.
Whew. Havent updated in a while. Added tons of CPU Kirby jokes
from GeNji KiD, fixed a few things here and there, added a Giga Bowser
stategy in the adventures section, and renewed a few stategys. I found out how
to cut off the .33 second start time for fire breath which you can read in
the indepth move list.
Version 3.0- Updated a few Character stategys, added the CPU Kirby Jokes
section. (CPU Kirby-mania is spreading)
Version 2.5- Added Special Melee stategys section. Added an Items section.
Added a set of combos from Dj Link.
Version 2.0- Added Event Stategys section.
Version 1.5- Added the Level Stategys section, fixed a few spelling errors
here and there and more witty CPU Kirby jokes. Added a stategy from XGiga
BowserX
Version 1.0- First version ever! Expect many improvements in the future.
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1.Introduction
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(Note: Im not good at introductions)
Bowser. Bowser, to me, is one of the best characters in this game, and my
favorite (and first) starting character. He is powerful, very powerful. But
there are a few bad things about Bowser too. No one is perfect. If mastered,
Bowser can be. He is big and bad and can easily destroy lightweights and put
up a good fight against the heavier people. Now on to the good things and bad
things about Bowser.
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2.Pros
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*Bowser is EXTREMELY powerful. Very. He can take out anyone if used
correctly
*He has a flame attack, similar to a fire flower. Can use whenever he wants.
*Hes heavy, so it takes a bit of damage to knock him off. (Usually takes me
to get Bowser to %150 to knock him far.)
*He can pick up and throw electrode! (Press A by electrode when it turns
black.)
*One wrong move from the opponent and its over.
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3.Cons
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*Hes slow. Really slow.
*The flame thrower goes out after a while.
*He can't jump very high. But he does (surprisingly) jump better then alot of
characters
*His recovery time from moves is bad.
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4.Basic Move List
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B Moves-
B-Fire Breath
Smash B(B+Left/Right)-Koopa Klaw
Close To Opponent Smash B+B+Left/Right-Snack Time w/ Headbutt/Throw
Down B-Bowser Bomb
Up B-Whirling Fortress
A Moves-
A-Koopa Scratch (becomes a combo if pressed repeatedly)
Left/Right A-Punch
Down A-Leg Swat
Up A-Overhead Claw
Smash A(A=Left/Right)-Bowser Headbutt
Smash Down A-Charged Whirling Fortress
Smash Up A-Spikey Shell Attack
Aerial A-Crazy Bowser Spin
Aerial Forward A-Claw(intercept move)
Aerial Back A-Shell Attack
Aerial Down A-Upside Down Whirling Fortress
Aerial Up A-Big Headbutt
Dash A-Running Headbutt
Z Noves-
Z-Grab
Z Forward-Headbutt Throw
Z Back-Throw
Z Up-Whirling Fortress (Bowsers got a lot of whirling fortress related moves,
dont he?)
Z Down-Bowser Pancake
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
5.Indepth Move List
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Importancy factor-
This is for how important it is to learn how to get good with a move. Of
course, all moves should be learned, but the higher rated ones should be used
more frequently than the lower ones.
*-Dont like this move that much.
**-A so-so move, nothing special.
***-Your average move that you should learn.
****-A great move, learn it at once.
*****-Master this move.
B Moves-
Recovery Time-
How long the move takes to recover from if it misses.
&-Horrible
&&-Bad
&&&-Average
&&&&-Low Recovery Time
&&&&&-Nearly No Recovery Time
*****/&& B-Fire Breath (Damage Varies on Length)
I love this move! You can really make your opponent mad with this move
if you do it at the right time. If youve got one of this faster opponents
(you may notice it takes a .33 of a second to start the actually fire), you
should jump, and while airborne, hit B, and as soon as you hit the ground
the flamefest should begin! Its also good to use this move while the opponent
is about to hit the ground, then the split second before that hold B and
youll have your very own Smash Brothers BBQ. Heres another tactic, when your
opponent is coming back onto the stage, as soon as they are about to grab the
corner, or jump on, start flaming, and watch their damage flow.
I get lots of emails about how i overrate this move and the Bowser
Headbutt. You just have to learn when to use it and how, and the quick fire
breath helps tons.
***/&& Smash B(B+Left/Right)-Koopa Klaw (5%-10%)
Not really much to say about this move except it can send an opponent pretty
far up sometimes. I dont really recommend doing this move unless the enemy
is falling and is about to hit the ground, then when they are falling again,
do it again! Nice juggle.
****/&&& Close To Opponent Smash B+B+Left/Right-Snack Time(Each bite does 2%-4%
damage. The headbutt/throw does 7%-13%)
I like this move too. With this one, you can actually sort of EAT your
enemy with Bowser! (its funny eating Pichu or Jigglypuff.) Get in a few bites,
then hit Left or Right. If you do it too much the enemy will get out of
Bowsers hands, leaving him open for a quick attack. If you learn how to do
this move good, you can get your opponent ready to be knocked off.
*****/& Down B-Bowser Bomb(4%-21%)
Looks like Bowser has his own variation of a butt stomp. If you are standing
still and use this move, Bowser will move in the direction he is facing. I
recommend doing it in the air though. You shouldnt use this move at the edge
of any stage. You could fall off, and thats not a good thing. If Bowser
gets knocked up really high, try to put Bowser of the enemy, then use this
move. They dont have long to escape, because Bowser falls VERY fast. You
should only do this if the character is at the center of the stage though.
Also be cautious of the terrible recovery time.
*****/&&&& Up B-Whirling Fortress(1%-30%)
You can do this move 2 ways. Either from the ground doing 1 hit, or in the
air doing multiple hits. The ground way, of course, hits harder though. So
heres what you should do. Im gonna teach you how to learn the combo away.
The best practice is to go in training and have someone like.. hmm.. lets
say Mario. Go to some flat level place.(Final Destination is great.) Jump
over Marios head. As soon as it looks like Bowsers feet are at about Marios
arms, hit up+b. Bowser should do a combo version of the Whirling Fortress,
and can pull in about 30% if done good. Do this a few times. Use the ground
version and he should go flying. Now try it when hes walking. Now do it
against a level 6 computer. Youll get the hang of it after a while. You can
also hit your opponent upwards, then as they are coming down jump and
whirling fortress them, but it wont do much. Youll also hear me say this move
alot too, so make you learn it real well.
A Moves-
**/&&&& A-Koopa Scratch (becomes a combo if pressed repeatedly) (8%-11%)
Nothing special. Just one of those moves to damage the enemy to get him
ready for a smash attack. The first scratch wont send the opponent anywhere,
not even at 999%.
***/&&&& Left/Right A-Punch(6%-14%)
Again nothing special. I have found something cool about this move. If you
you do a straight forward left/right A, Bowser will punch normally. If you
aim Diagnolly up, Bowser will hit diagnolly up, same with diagnolly right.
Nothing new though. Another damager. I underrated this move too much.
This is actually a better move than i thought, if you cant get any other
hits on use this move, its very good.
**/&&& Down A-Leg Swat(7%-22%)
If you havent noticed by now, most A moves are to set your opponent up for
a smash attack. I have found one little tiny itty bitty use for this move.
If your opponent is coming back onto the stage, stand by the the edge and
keep using this move to set them up for an intercept.
***/&&& Up A-Overhead Claw(7%-11%)
This is an alright move i guess. Its a good way to set up for a whirling
fortress. Just hit your enemy with this attack and then whirling fortress
him/her. You can use this move to juggle a bit too. They wont go flying off
until they get about 100%.
*****/&& Smash A(A=Left/Right)-Bowser Headbutt(13%-32%)
Now this is what we are talking about right here, this is where Bowsers
best aspect comes into play- his power. If your opponent has atleast 45%
damage and you hit them with this move, charged or not, they are going to
go flying. If you hit them fully charged with like, 34%, they are out of
there. Ive gotten lots of emails about how much i overrate this move and
fire breath. You just have to learn when to time it and youll get used to
it eventually.
****/&&& Smash Down A-Charged Whirling Fortress(1%-27%)
Yet another very powerful smash move. If all the hits.. well.. hit, Bowser
does lots of damage. This one went send them flying as well as the Bowser
Headbutt, but that doesnt mean it wont send them flying! If you can do this
a couple of times and then the Bowser Headbutt, they are gone.
****/&&& Smash Up A-Spikey Shell Attack(11%-27%)
The weaker of Bowsers smash moves. This one can damage the character greatly
while not sending them too far, but if they have about 100%, they will
usually fly off. You can also use this move to setup for a Bowser Headbutt
or Whirling Fortress.
***/&&&Aerial A-Crazy Bowser Spin(7%-13%)
Its Bowser when he goes crazy. Anyways, i guess you can use this move
when you are falling from above and about to hit the ground. Do it right
before your about to hit your enemy. A damager move. Im starting to become
very fond of this move. Why? I dont know. It just usually seems to hit my
opponent alot.
*****/&&&& Aerial Forward A-Claw(intercept move)(9%-14%)
Ok first of all, if you dont know what intercept is, intercepting is when
your enemy is knocked to the side, and when they are coming back, you
jump outwards and then knock them downwards and they die. You should ALWAYS
learn how to intercept. It is a very important and EXTREMELY useful, and
youll never be the best unless you learn how to do this. Most characters
have a move like this, and they can either send downwards or sideways. It
depends on your aim. Even for a little move, itll knock pretty hard. When
you are about to intercept, you should always, i repeat, ALWAYS, do one jump,
then do the intercept move while your in the air, then do your other jump
and your up+b to get back on. It is extremely important you jump once to
intercept, then twice to get back to the stage. Especially with the heavier
people, like Bowser, because his 3rd jump isnt good. Its good to practice
it in training by going to an edge and taking your opponent and throwing
him/her off, then intercept. Keep trying until you can do it good, and
thats all there is to it. Sort of.
*/& Aerial Back A-Shell Attack(8%-13%)
I dont like this move that much. If you do it on the ground or land on the
ground, after Bowser hits he is left open for about 1/3rd of a second for an
attack. Its not a good intercept move either. Try avoiding this unless you
really have to do it.
****/&& Aerial Down A-Upside Down Whirling Fortress(1%-15%)
You can use this move as a replacement for the Bowser Bomb if you wear it
out. The hard part about it is that timing is extremely crucial. Just another
move to get your enemys damage up so you can hit them with another move
and knock them off. Another move i must admit i underrated a bit, being a bit
better than what i thought if you have trouble with those harder opponents
and you need to give them some damage.
Update: Yea! This move is ALOT more useful then i say! Start using it!
*****/&&& Aerial Up A-Big Headbutt(9%-17%)
Wow. This can be a powerful if you use it right. The bad part is it is another
one of those moves you have to learn how to time right to perfect it. If
you knock your enemy upwards, and they are falling down, use this move, and
you probably arent going to see them ever again. (Well until the platform
with them comes down of course.)
****/&& Dash A-Running Headbutt(6%-11%)
Running moves can be very useful for the quicker opponents. Sometimes i can
manage to juggle some people with this move.
Z Noves-
Z-Grab
This is the grab move. Im not a throwing kind of person, but I do like using
throwing to set my enemy up for an intercept. You should always hit A/Z twice
before doing a throw. Even if it is a little bit of damage, it still counts.
None of Bowsers throws are really good.
***/&&&Z Forward-Headbutt Throw(5%-10%)
***/&& Z Back-Throw(5%-10%)
*/&& Z Up-Cheap Whirling Fortress(5%-10%)
I dont like this move that much, however you can use it to set up for an
Up+B whirling fortress. Even if your enemy has 999% damage, it will always
send the same distance. I call this the Wannabe Smash Down A.
**/&&& Z Down-Bowser Pancake(6%-12%)
Like the Cheap Whirling Fortress, this one will send the same distance
always even if your opponent has 999%. However, it does more damage than any
of the other 3 moves and the animation is hilarious.
Control Pad Up- Roar (0%)
Bowsers taunt is a roar.
marthemblem says- Ever noticed that when Bowser and Giga Bowser taunt,
it looks like they're doing the matrix! I don't think that'll help
dodging bullets though...
=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=
6.Stategys/Combos
=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=
Learn how to intercept! If you think your good and you dont intercept, learn
how to intercept and you will be ALOT better.
Always, and i mean always take advantage of the flamethrower. If you learn
how to use it correctly, you can cause major damage to your
enemys.
If Bowser is (somehow) knocked really far up into the air, use the Bowser
Bomb (down+B) to get back down quickly. Do not use this if Bowser is near
the edge of the stage.
([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{
If your enemy tends to move alot and trys to get sneaky, use Fire Breath
and then when your enemy comes towards you do the Whirling Fortress. You
will hear me talk about this stategy alot.
([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{([{
Learn how to dodge, that means sidestepping, rolling, and everything else.
Update: I finally learned how to do an automatic Fire Breath attack without
the split second wait time so your opponent doesnt see it coming!
Its really quite simple. You just jump in the air. As soon as Bowser is about
to land, hit B, he should land and flames should start coming out without the
split second it usually takes to start the attack. Very useful against speedy
opponents.
From XGiga BowserX-
Bowsers fire move is a very great advantage in a team battle, because you can
flame both of the opponents in the corner while your teammate does a powerful
attack.(like a falcon punch)
From Dj Link-
Controls: ^ means up on the on the Control stick, v means down. OTG means,
On the Ground.
So Grab ^ means, grab the opponent and throw them up.
Combos:
1.)Grab ^, OTG B button.
2.)Grab ^, OTG v B button.
3.)Grab ^, jump, ^ B button.
4.)Grab ^, jump, Forward+B (Make sure the Koopa Klaw Grabs the person),
while having the person grab press B, B, B, B, Forward+B.
5.)Grab ^, jump, Forward+B, B, B, B, B, Forward+B, jump, ^+B.
If you have Bowser Stategys or Combos, feel free to send them to
[email protected]
You will get credit.
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7.Character Stategys
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(Note: All CPU strategys were tested on level 9 CPUs.)
(Note: All Human strategys based on what I do [Im good with pretty much every
character] and what ive seen my friends do)
(Note: If you havent unlocked all the characters this may contain spoilers)
Ratings (CPU only)-
*-Horrible(F)
**-Horrible but not too horrible.(D)
***-Average(C)
****-Above Average(B)
*****-Ultimate.(A)
***Bowser-
CPU- The computer bowser uses alot of bowsers moves, but mainly uses the
Whirling Fortress and the Crazy Bowser Spin. It also tends to use Fire
Breath, but being a computer, it only taps B, so it wont do too much
damage. I like using the Bowser Bomb alot to do some damage, then do Bowsers
smash a to take him out. Watch out though. Hes sneaky.
Human- Ehm, I erased this. You can figure out why yourself.
**Captain Falcon-
CPU- Computers can be quite stupid at times. Sometimes, the CPU Falcon will
try to do that combo punchy thing, when he does this, you will most likely
be behind him, so start using the fire breath. Falcon is fast, so thats a bad
thing for Bowser. He likes using the uppercut move and the Falcon kick, so
make sure to be responsive, if you see him getting ready, jump.I rarely see
the CPU falcon do a Falcon Punch, but if you do, just flame him.
Human- The Falcon Punch is a fast move. Usually people Falcon Punch in mid
air and hit you. If they miss you and are about to say "Punch!". Bowser
Bomb of Upside Down Whirling Fortress him. Falcon is speedy which isnt
a good thing for Bowser and most of his attacks are decent in strength
and damage. But his attacks are time consuming, allowing you to set up for
a smash attack. When Falcon misses his attacks he takes a split second to
recover, allowing you to smash him off the stage or use other attacks on him.
**Donkey Kong-
CPU- The computer Donkey Kong likes to use his down a and punchs alot. I
found that the Koopa Claw works well on him. The CPUs like to tap buttons
alot, not hold them. So you will rarely ever see a CPU charge up a smash
or a charging move. This goes for DK's charge punch, he swings twice then
stops, then will start doing it again. This is a great time to utilize
Bowser's Bowser Headbutt.
Human- DK jumps bad, and most of his moves have bad recovery time, which is
a good thing (for you). When he misses, you can hit him with almost anything
that is an attack. He shouldnt be too hard.
****Dr. Mario-
CPU- CPU Dr. Mario is stupid. They like to use the pills just about 3/4 of
the time. But he does evade like.. x2000. So he can really be a big pain
in the butt. (I wonder if he has a prescription for that?) The best move
ive found to use against him is the Koopa Claw followed by the Whirling
Fortress. Then find a time (he likes the Dr. Tornado too, so try it at that
time) to do the Bowser Headbutt. Intercept and hes gone. Also you can try
using the Upside Down Whirling Fortress (aerial Down+A) on him.
Human- Its Mario! Well, Dr. Mario, but it pretty much is Mario except a
different costume, a bit slower and a bit more powerful. But not much.
Watch out for his cape, it reflects everything. If he trys to go for his
Up+B move (i forgot what its called), and he misses, start charging up a
smash attack to get rid of him.
*****Falco-
CPU- This guy will slaughter you. I think i heard someone say once that Falco
was the smartest CPU. They werent lying. He will punch you and kick you
and do virtually any other small move on you until he backs you into the edge
of the stage then he'll knock you off. When he does this, keep trying to jump
over him or roll, and use the Upside Down Whirling Fortress on him, when he
is doing his kicking combo and misses, immediatly do the Bowser Bomb on him.
If you hear that "Shing!" noise, jump, thats falcos Falco Illusion. Its
annoying, and if you dodge it when hes at the edge he'll fall off.. also, if
he knocks you off and your getting back on, do a combo whirling fortress on
him. Throw items at him too.
Human- Dur hur look at me i have a gun! A lot of players like to use
the Falco Illusion (phantasm, whatever) on their opponents, so start heading
towards the edge but be careful, because if they miss they will fall and die.
Also if they are getting ready to use a smash attack, roll behind them and
fire breath them.
*****Fox-
CPU- Not as good as CPU Falco, but that doesnt mean hes easy. He enjoys
shooting his gun and throwing you and shooting you. He also enjoys long
vacations on beachs and collects bottle caps. But thats not important, whats
important is how to beat him. I, sadly, like to use bowsers Punch (forward
A) on this guy sometimes. Sometimes you can fit in a Bowser Bomb if you do
it at the right time. Try to Whirling Fortress him as much as Possible too.
Most of the time he leaves himself open for a quick Bowser Headbutt. I like
dashing at him and using the running headbutt to juggle him the bowser
headbutt.
Human- Dur hur look at me i have a gun! Humans like to use Foxs crappy 2%
damage blaster on people. Just use the running headbutt technique and upside
down whirling fortress on them and then headbutt them and they are out of
there.
*****Ganondorf-
CPU- Update: After a recent test with a tournament of 24 CPUs fighting with
level 9 with all items off, Ganondorf won, meaning he is the hardest CPU
out there. But hes not hard. At all. He does very stupid things. Stand away
from him and he'll start charging his super leg attack (the one that takes
like 2 hours to hit you) or a Warlock Punch, and sometimes Gerudo Dragon.
When he starts doing this Bowser Bomb him or Upside down Whirling Fortress
or Crazy Bowser spin or- whatever. Just use anything on him. So basically
stand far, let him be stupid, then attack. He is good at close range fighting.
Human- Ganondorf users like the Wizards Foot. So as soon as you see
him getting ready to do it, hold down B and flame him. Keep using Whirling
Fortress and Smash A's and youll do good. Also make sure to be careful with
Warlock Punch, even i do stupid things and walk into it.
**Ice Climbers-
CPU- Try to get rid of Nana (the pink one). If you do, youve got this one
won easy. Just hit them with attacks until they die. If you manage to get
popo by himself, you've got the cat in the bag. Or whatever that saying is.
They also like to use that attack where they swing their hammer and a freezie
comes out. Make sure to watch out for that. Update: The Ice Climbers rarely
ever use Smash Attacks, but will hit you and get you up to like 200%, so they
arent really that hard unless they like get an item.
Human- A really good Ice Climbers person can whoop some tail. But dont
worry, so can bowser. They like to use smash attacks because they are
very strong with the ice climbers, seeing as how there are 2. Just use fire
breath and a few attacks and once again try to get rid of Nana. Trust me,
without Nana, Popo is like.. Luigi in his pink outfit.
*Jigglypuff-
CPU- It will grab you and kick you and use its aerial down a alot, but dont
worry, they are all weak. It is very light so a good amount of damage will
send it into a far off place. The CPU barely ever uses rest, so thats a good
thing. Also it has no 3rd jump so it has a bit of trouble of getting back
onto the stage when knocked off. Heh heh. Heh... heh..
Human- If you see a human jigglypuff jump towards you, start running. Very
fast. Run with bowser as fast as you can. Human Jigglypuff poses a giant
threat to Bowser. "Haha fir link u b stuped how culd jiglypuf defet bowzer"
you may ask (or may not). Ill give you one word: Rest. Bowser is probably the
easiest target for Jigglypuffs rest move, it is almost an instant KO most of
the time. I recommend staying very far from it and throwing items at it and
using the fire breath + whirling fortress technique. Be very careful.
Tip from WEBSPIDER1408- there is a much better way to beat a rest-crazed
jiggly puff. Most human jigglypuffs will laugh and think bowser is far to
clumsy to get away. And they're right. Let them come and when they hit punch
range (they have to be practically on top of you to hit you but don't let
them do so!) rool behind them. The should have already fallen asleep. This
gives you enough time to meteor them.
*Kirby-
CPU- CPU Kirbys fireball attack kills him alot.(It does in Kirby Superstar
too.)(ok that wasnt funny). The CPU kirby is like.. suicidal. He will
accidently kill himself with his down+B (stone) attack like all the time and
will sometimes kill itself with its own up+B attack! Also, CPU kirby will
try to suck you up alot. Try to avoid that, because if he keeps trying to
suck you up, that means he keeps using his B move, which means he'll set you
on fire like all the time. But CPU Kirbys stupidity works around that. I bet
if CPU Kirbys friend jumped off a bridge, CPU Kirby would jump off too. Why,
CPU Kirby is so stupid, he got fired from the M&M Factory for throwing out
all the W's. CPU Kirby is so stupid, he got hit by a parked car. Why, CPU
Kirby is so stupid, he tripped over a cordless phone. CPU Kirby is so stupid,
he thought Taco Bell was a Phone Company. CPU Kirby is so s.. ok onto more
important things. CPU Kirby is an easy task, just keep using moves and you
should be fine.
Human- A human Kirby player isnt nearly as stupid as the CPU Kirby, who is
so stupid he sold his car for gasoline money. Human players will usually
try to suck you up to gain your awesome flamethrowing ability, again try
to find a way to go around that, Bowser bomb him or something. Fire Breath
him and Use smashes to get rid of this obstacle. But remember though Human
Kirbys are much smarter than CPU Kirbys, who are so stupid they steal free
bread.
****Link-
CPU- CPU Link likes to use his Hookshot after 2 attacks, so watch out for
that. But most of the time it doesnt hit because he has bad aim. Flame him
and when hes coming near you use the Whirling Fortress, and Koopa Claw him
a few times and he should be done and over with. They also like to shoot
totally uncharged arrows that can do a whopping 2% damage.(Sarcasm for the
stupid people, like CPU Kirbys, who are so stupid they took spoons to the
SuperBowl) Update: Link REALLY likes that hookshot, when he uses it and misses
hit him with a Bowser Bomb or a whirling fortress, since it takes him like 3
seconds to recover from it missing. Also he can be challenging at times, using
lots of his Up B moves and Boomerang and such, just be cautious.
Human- Link can be quite challenging, seeing as how Link has a giant
array of items and moves to hit his enemys with. They do tend though to
enjoy pelting their enemys with bombs, so try to jump over them or if you can
try avoiding them while pulling little attacks like a punch or two. Watch out
for the arrows and the boomerang, they can damage you a bit. (BTW, i just got
back from taking the "Pepsi Challenge" and saw 2 CPU Kirbys there. Both of
them are so stupid they chose Jif.)
*****Luigi-
CPU- CPU Luigis favorite attacks are his 1-2-3 butt combo and his fireballs.
He also refuses to use his Up B attack at all, he will always use the dorky
Green Missile to get back on the stage. CPU Luigi is one of the Harder CPUs,
believe it or not, but when you learn him he wont be that hard. Also watch
out for the misfired Green Missile, if you can dodge it he'll usually go
flying off the stage.
Human- Watch out for Luigis Green Missile. Theres a 12% chance it catches on
fire and luigi goes flying at you at a high speed and then you fall and die.
Most of the time the Human Luigi will make the mistake of missing that
exploding green missile and actually flying off the stage. Its hilarious.
Just use normal tactics and attacks here.
***Mario-
CPU- Like always, Mario is your average player. However, CPU Mario likes to
use the retarded cape attack alot, so when you see him do that use that time
to hit him with a smash attack. He also has some times where he just stands
there for like half of a second. Use that time to hit him with a smash attack.
He also uses his totally little damaging Fireballs alot too. He also likes
doing that little 1-2-3 kick combo he has and intercepts alot. Just make sure
to evade most of his attacks and smash him around a bit and youll be ok.
Human- I rarely ever see mario use his fireballs unless their opponent
is far away. So get far away from them, when they shoot them, make sure you
are facing mario and hit Down+B to bowser bomb them because they usually move
around alot. Just hit him with a few Koopa Klaws and Whirling Fortresses here
and there and you can take him out. His Up+B is used alot too, try to avoid
that and if he does it do a Bowser Bomb.
****Marth-
CPU- A CPU Marth can be tough if you dont know what you are doing, but
easy if you do. Marth leaves himself open for some attacks sometimes, so
use that time to do a Fire Breath + Whirling Fortress or the Bowser
Headbutt. I found myself beating Marth pretty easy but sometimes he can
get some good hits on you, so watch out. I noticed that he likes to use little
tiny sword swipes to make you angry. Fire breath him to make him stop, then
continue on with your normal stategy.
Human- I use Marths counter after every 2 moves I use. The thing is that when
Marth misses his counter, it takes him like 1 1/2 seconds to recover, just
make sure you hit him after he stops flashing so he doesnt counter your
attack. Hes fast so again hes hard to defeat, but missing counter is a very
bad thing for Marth users. Most of Marths attacks are weak, so they dont pose
too much of a threat.
*Mewtwo-
CPU- CPU Mewtwo isnt really that hard and can be quite dumb at times (but not
nearly as dumb as CPU Kirbys, who are so stupid, they get locked in a grocery
store and starved). He likes shooting uncharged shadow balls which are really
weak and slow, so just jump over them and laugh, then start hitting him with
Whirling Fortress and Smash A. He likes to throw you alot too. Just try
to avoid that as much as possible. I like throwing items at him too. If you
can, fire breath him and then when hes coming towards you use the Whirling
Fortress for some damage. Update: CPU Mewtwo suicides alot, so if you can
knock him off he'll usually try to get back on, then he uses a stupid attack
and dies.
Human- Most people i know that use Mewtwo like to use his Disable attack.
(atleast i think thats whats its called.. the one where he freezes you for
like 2 seconds.) Try to dodge that move as much as possible, for it is one
of the better moves out there. If you get froze, they will usually start
charging up a shadow ball, then when you snap out of it, theyll try it
again, charge up again and maybe all the way this time and bam you are out.
So try using some of Bowsers faster moves like Whirling Fortresses and Upside
Down Whirling Fortresses. You have to watch out for these guys. They are not
stupid.(Unlike CPU Kirbys, who are so stupid they sit on the TV and watch
the couch.)
***Mr. Game and Watch
CPU- A CPU Mr. Game and Watch isnt that hard, but he can be really really
annoying. He really usually use that bug spray attack thing, and do the
football dash attack alot too. This can do some major damage to you. But
theres a good part. Mr. Game and Watch is light, so if he has a bit of damage
and you manage to hit him with a Smash attack hes a goner. Also if you find
a ray gun or superscope, dont use it, he'll put it in his bucket most of the
time.
Human- Dangerous. Very dangerous. If someone is very skilled with Mr. Game
and Watch, be very very careful. Usually they will go for the Judgement
Hammer, which if the number is 9, will instantly KO his opponent. The thing
is the Judgement hammer takes a split second to hit, so use that time to
jump and start a fire breath. Also try avoiding the bug pump attack. That can
damage you quite a bit. I like using Bowsers Snack Time attack then a whirling
fortress on him to take care of him, then smash him somehow. Dont worry,
after a while youll get the hang of him. Also, watch out for his Scuba Helmet
smash and his Match smash, they are devestating.
***Ness
CPU- CPU Ness is retarded (almost nearly as retarded as CPU Kirbys, who are
so stupid, they watch "The Three Stooges" and take notes). They will always
use that annoying PK Fire attack on you. When you hear that.. psychic..
noise.. jump jump over him and flame him and whirling fortress him. Hit him
with moves and knock him off. He will also save you from falling off. If he
knocks you off and you try to get back on, he will PK Thunder you so you can
3rd jump again. Also, when he knocks you in his air, he will always use (but
miss) PK Flash (or as a call it, pk cross, i swear it sounds more like "PK
Cross!" than "PK Flash"! god, even a CPU Kirby who has swallowed ness says
it better.) He also tends to use his GUTSY bat. Why? I dont know. Hes a CPU.
Human- Watch out, these are the Smart Nesses. Unlike their counterparts,
instead of saving you from falling off the stage, they will ruin it
by PK Flashing you instead. They also like to combo PK Fire alot and then
use the GUTSY bat. Just use the fire breath whirling fortress technique,
these guys can be pretty challenging. Hit them with your moves and make sure
to watch out for PK Fire.
****Peach
CPU- Hey look everyone, its pear! I mean, peach. CPU Peach is both smart and
stupid, in that she always, and i mean ALWAYS, gets vegetables and throws them
at you. This can sometimes though do damage to you greatly if you are too
slow. CPU Peach doesnt know how to float, so thats a good thing. Sometimes CPU
Peach will use her Up+Umbrella, and just float there, allowing you to charge
up your Bowser Headbutt and knock her off into heck.
Human- A very challenging opponent if used right. You have no choice but to
knock her off the screen, seeing as how she can float across the whole stage
of Hyrule Temple. But shes light though, so a few fire breaths and whirling
fortresses and smash attacks will do her in. Watch out of the umbrella and
dont be distracted by her obscene high kick attack.
***Pichu
CPU- Being the lightest character in the game, pichu will fall off to almost
any smash attack. Ok that was a lie, but usually he will. The cpu likes to
use that thunder shock thing. Also, when it knocks you up in the air, move
away from it, because if it uses thunder, your a goner. Its really easy just
to use your normal attacks and throw it and smash it and bash it and kill it
and eat it and cook it and it makes really good grape jelly if you put it
on bread.
Human- Dude, it damages itself, its skull bash is never going to hit you
fully charged unless, of course, you are a CPU Kirby, who are so stupid when
they jump out the window they go up. But watch out anyways, people like to
hit you upwards and thunder you like 3 times. Just fire breath them and smash
them. Heck, just smash them. You can whirling fortress them too.
*Pikachu
CPU- Pikachu is the fat, overweight version of Pichu. This is what happens
when Pichu eats lots of food and starts sitting on the couch all day watching
TV. He evolves into Pikachu. Anyways, CPU Pikachu leaves himselfs open for
smash attacks alot, so use that time to hit him out of the stage. He also
tends to use that stupid headbutt alot and a uncharged skull bash. He sucks,
basically.
Human- Now a human pikachu usually doesnt suck. They like to smash you upwards
and thunder you all the way to the moon. Pikachu is stronger than Pichu, so
itll do a better job at that. Just keep throwing him and intercept him off the
screen and fire breath and whirling fortress.
****Roy
CPU- CPU Roy is another one of those more challenging CPU's. He'll start
getting all fast on you and stuff. Sometimes he leaves himself open for a
bowser bomb or 2. Just try to avoid most of his attacks and use a few basic
moves like a punch or intercept. Then try to fit in a smash attack and
intercept him. When he swings, thats when you know when to hit down+B.
this has nothing to do with beating Roy, but when you hit him, he HONKS!!
BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Human- A Human roy can be very dangerous if used right. Watch out for roys
retarded Up+B attack because they use that alot. Also watch out for his
counter, that can knock you pretty good. Just use whirling fortresses and
throws off edges with interceptions, youll make it through most of the
time.
***Samus
CPU- Basically, CPU Samus has 4 moves, her grabbing beam thingy, her kick,
her rocket, and her charge gun. Shes like the only CPU that charges her
charging weapon, which can pose a threat if your not careful. One useful
tactic i found is to get a bit away from her, them when she sticks out her
arm to shoot her rocket, immediatly hit down+B and bowser bomb her. I like
to run at her and use the fire breath + whirling fortress technique.
Human- Not many humans use Samus, but those who do are pretty good. They like
to hit you upwards and then screw attack you. To avoid this, just move out
of samus's way when you are knocked upward. She isnt that hard to take out
if you just use your moves.
*Yoshi
CPU- CPU Yoshi is quite easy. It can easily be defeated just by using the
Bowser Bomb and the Whirling Fortress. Hes just easy. He must hang out
with that CPU Kirby crowd. Also, he has no 3rd jump, but his 2nd is very long.
He also tends to run at you and try to swallow you. Try to avoid that if
you are near an edge because if you are, if he turns you into an egg and
you fall, you are dead. Also, watch out for his ground pound.
Human- Alright, i once heard that there was a tournament one time with like
lots of people and a person that was using Yoshi won. This shows that 3rd
jump or not, if Yoshi is used correctly and mastered, you can get your
tail kicked. There are a few things to avoid when fighting yoshi. Watch out
for his eggs and make sure he doesnt swallow you and you turn into an egg
and fall off the edge. If you do your a goner. Also watch out for that rolling
egg attack he does. If he hits you with it enough it can be a very devestating
attack. I once again prefer the fire breath+whirling fortress technique, just
watch yourself.
**Young Link
CPU- CPU Y.Link likes to use his 1-2-3 sword combo just about all the time. He
also likes to use his hookshot, when he uses his hookshot, hit down+B to
bowser bomb him. Then when hes trying his crappy combo, smash him to heck.
Hes not that hard, hes just a faster weaker version of link with Fire
arrows.
Human- He can be a little bit better then Link, seeing as how he is faster
and quicker to attack. Watch out for his Up+B, it can damage you pretty bad,
but if this happens just jump or do a Bowser bomb. If Y.Link trys Up+B and
misses, Bowser Bomb him. Use the fire breath and whirling fortress technique.
He shouldnt be too challenging if you know what you are doing.
***Zelda/Shiek
CPU- CPU Zelda/Shiek are both retarded. Zelda will always use Dins Fire,
which is probably the most easiest move to block in the history of Super
Smash Brothers. I mean come on, all you have to do is see it coming and
press R. She must hang out with those stupid CPU Kirbys, who are so stupid,
they got sent to rehab for being "hooked on phonics". Just Bowser Bomb
her a bunch of times, if she turns into sheik, try the fire breath
and whirling fortress technique. Also, watch out for Shieks Whip, it
can make you very mad sometimes.
Human- Watch out. 2 Characters in one can really beat you, when you get
used to fast and weak, it suddenly can change to slow and strong. Just
try using the Fire Breath and Whirling Fortress, try a few Upside Down
ones, Bowser Bomb, everything. Just make sure that it hits.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
8.Level Stategys
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
This will provide tips on the many things to do with the stages and a few
stategys with it.
Princess Peachs Castle- This is the one with the giant Bullet Bill on it. Now
for some idiotic reason, whenever the Bullet Bill is approaching, the CPU will
move to the side of the screen. Smart, huh? No. This is agreat time to take
Bowsers fire breath into full advantage, then use the Fire Breath Whirling
Fortress combo. This will make it easy to knock out your opponent.
Kongo Jungle- This is the one is the one with the barrel cannon moving on the
bottom of the screen. This is a very very useful weapon, it has saved my arse
on many occasions. Make sure you use it wisely. Also, its easy to knock out
your opponents on this level, since believe it or not its quite small. Oh
yeah, avoid that little rock platform thing on the right. I just have really
bad luck with it..
Great Bay- Ok, i have a funny stategy for this one.
Main Platform
-------------
B
------- ----------
Platform
that floats
on water
Look at the B. Thats where Bowser should be at. Sometimes, the computer will
act stupid. If you stand here and manage to grab your opponent, throw him to
the left. Sometimes, they will try to jump back towards you, but will fail
because the Main Platform bounce knocked them real good. You should make sure
your opponent has an ok amount of damage on him before you do this.
Oh yea, and stay away from the evil turtle.
Yoshi's Story- This is one of your standard 3 platform stages. The only really
special thing it has is a little cloud moving in a rectangle formation. This
is good. Heres what you do, jump on the little cloud (be careful). The CPU
will try to follow, but because of Bowsers size it can barely get on. It will
try to do moves on you and it will fall off. Very funny.
Fountain of Dreams- If King Dedede were in this game this would be his stage.
Also if you dont know this music is from Kirby Superstar's Gourmet Race game.
(Kirby Superstar is a really great game, you should try it.) This is another
standard 3 platform stage. The only major thing is that the platforms move. I
dont really have a stategy for this one, so all i can say is break a leg!
Corneria- A very long stage. Its a good training stage too. I have 2 stategys
for this one, one on the left end of the ship and the other on the right
lower part. First the left end. When you see the ships laser charging, hit
your opponent and intercept him into the laser beams. It will almost always be
an automatic KO. Now the right lower part. If you stay near the wall, then you
will be fine, because if you get smashed it will absorb some of that hit and
you can usually survive. Just dont stand on the extreme right, or youll get
knocked off easily.
Icicle Mountain- Possibly the most hated stage in SSBM history. It will either
scroll up or down at random speeds whenever it wants. I have one stategy. Stay
near the top and use either Smash Up A or Smash Down A to knock your opponent
upwards and they are history.
Rainbow Cruise- 2 stategys. One is if your on the ship go to the top and use
an attack to send your opponent upwards and kill them, and when you get to the
platforms use a stategy similar to the Icicle Mountain one. (See Above)
Jungle Japes- I hate this stage. (Or anything relating to DK in that matter.)
Theres not really any statagical things to do here. However, sometimes the CPU
will stupidly fall through the cracks. Be cautious of using the Bowser Bomb
here so you dont fall through the cracks.
Temple- My favorite stage!! Why? Because it has no hazards and theres a way to
rack up around 400% till you get smashed off. It has to do with the
underground tunnel that leads into the 2nd underground tunnel. Heres what you
do, on the top underground tunnel, drag your opponent in and start beating
each other senseless. It is VERY hard to get killed out of here. Once you get
your enemy up to a nice amount of damage, take him out and smash him or throw
an item or a bomb or something. They will be goners.
Yoshis Island- "Why is it called Yoshis Island if its from Super Mario World?"
Because the 1st stage of Super Mario World was.. (drum roll).. YOSHIS ISLAND!
Anyways, i hate this level. I really hate this level. Its stupidity matches
that of a CPU Kirbys, who are so stupid they went to a drive in movie to see
"Closed for the Season". The only good thing about this stage is that it has
awesome SMB3 remix music. So why do i hate this stage? Virtually any attack
can make you fall through the center 3 blocks. Avoid using Bowser Bomb here at
all costs. One thing to do is set your opponent on fire while they are on the
center 3 blocks then find a way to do an intercept move on them to knock them
through.
Green Greens- Watch out for the bombs in this stage, stay away from them. One
thing to do is to stand on the blocks and let your opponent do a down b move
on you, and laugh as they fall through. Try to be careful using Fire Breath
around the blocks, because you dont want to blow up, do you? Also try avoiding
Bowser Bomb near the blocks as well, you dont want to fall through like the
other idiots.
Venom- Again i dont have any really good stategys for this level (besides the
fact that you can hit through the middle wing of the ship on the top, making
it albe to hit your opponent with a smash attack) except for to stay on the
bottom wings if your one of those people who like to intercept and hit
horizontally. However if your the verticle kind of person, stay on top and hit
them with anything thatll knock them upwards.
Brinstar- I dont like this stage either, it can be both helpful at times and
very not helpful at others. The lava can save you ALOT sometimes but it does
alot of damage and sooner or later you will fly off. There are also these
weird looking things in the right center part of the main platform, you can
set this on fire and create a small opening to intercept your enemy through.
Also the CPU in this stage, similar to the Princess Peachs Castle stage, will
go to the top platform when lava is about to come up. When this happens, throw
items at them and Whirling Fortress them.
Onett- Heh, i dont like alot of levels. In this level, the 2 main platforms
will fall (the store shade things) and cars will hit you. The cars are very
strong. For some odd reason, i found Whirling Fortress to be a really easy
move to hit your opponent with. I dont know why, its just easier (i guess its
the 2 main platforms). One stategy i have is to go to the bottom. (Where the
cars can hit you) Your opponent will start attacking you, most of the time
they will not see or pay little attention to the !. When the cars about to
come, jump or even better do a sidestep dodge (R/L+up), most of the time the
opponent will evade the car, but sometimes it will get hit by one and go
flying off the stage.
Mute City- One thing- dont go on the racetrack!! Well, you can for one certain
stategy similar to the Onett one. You can jump when the cars come and laugh as
the enemy gets hit by them, but i still suggest staying on top of things.
Another thing to do is when the platform is about to come out of the ground,
go on the raceway and wait for your opponent to do an attack then jump up and
if they up b they will die.
Pokemon Stadium- Uh, i really have no stategys here, except to be careful when
the stage chages form. That can be really annoying. Oh and alot of pokeballs
come up here, use them.
Kingdom(SMB1 place)- The bottom platform (the long one) can almost sort of
serve as a roof thing like the Hyrule Temple cave, but not as good because the
blocks break. Also, stay away from the platforms, since Bowser is the heaviest
person in SSBM, he will fall unexpectedly easy and you wont notice sometimes.
Sometimes if you break the platforms and manage to get back on, the cpu will
commit suicide by falling the the little pits they fall in.
---Secret Levels---
Warning: If you do not want to be spoiled, skip this part and go on your merry
way.
Brinstar Depths- I sort of like this level because its really easy to get the
CPU to commit suicide. There is a little itty bitty platform that helps you do
this. When the stage is in its right position, its on the bottom right part of
the screen. The CPU will go here when Kraid rotates the level by hitting it.
The CPU will stay here, if you come down, it will try to Up+B you, but fail
and die. Also make sure you notice when Kraid hits the level so you are ready
to start climbing.
Fourside- This stage is really horrible to play Bowser on with, because the
buildings are way too small for him. The center one with 2 little ledges on
the side are too small and Bowser will fall off them (or hang). There is also
a UFO which is for some reason slippery.(never played earthbound, dont know)
However it is a good place for doing some damage and i manage to get smashs in
like all the time on there somehow because the CPU trys to come back at you.
Oh well, atleast the music is cool.
Big Blue- Another alright stage with good alternate music. I prefer to stay on
the top vehicle (again i dont know what its called, i havent played F-Zero)
because for some reason it seems easier on there, however, it is cool on the
lower racing cars because the CPU will do some wacky things, and also, if you
can hit your opponent into a platform above from the cars, they will bounce
off onto the track and most likely die.
Poke Floats- Oh gosh, the CPU has probably an IQ of -3 when they are on this
level, they NEVER move to another float!! (Well sometimes they do but those
are the lucky ones) so its better to fight on this stage with some friends,
not computers. Intercepting is a must in this place, and so are all the other
normal Bowser fighting tactics. No real stategys.
Kingdom II(SMB2 place)- There is one stategy thats works really well against
computers here. Every few seconds, a wooden platform will fall. Jump on this
and the computer will follow hitting you with attacks, as soon as you are
about to die, jump back up. For some reason the computer is too stupid to
realize that they can jump back up, or just plain fail doing it (like CPU
Kirbys taking an IQ test). Birdo will also come out sometimes and shoot eggs.
Hit your opponent towards them when she does this so they can take damage then
you can hit them off like usual.
Battlefield- The REAL standard 3 platform stage. There are no real stategys
here, break a leg!
Final Destination- An awesome stage, no, it has no hazards. It doesnt have
anything special about it. But it does have the greatest backround in the
history of backrounds! It will actually get lighter and darker, its just
magnificent how well it was put together. This is a GREAT stage to learn how
to do just about anything on, be it intercepting or item catching, or a
friendly game of Mr. Saturn baseball. Like Battlefield, there is no real
stategy for this stage, so once again, break a leg!
Past Stage/Dream Land- I dont know why, but i like this level for some reason.
I think its the music. This is a standard 3 platform stage with only 1 thing,
Whispy Woods will blow wind and try to blow you off the stage. Use this to
your advantage by hitting your opponent towards the direction Whispy is
blowing so they will go farther, and if they come back hit em back down.
Past Stage/Yoshis Island- Another standard 3 platform stage, with 2 clouds
that will disappear when you stand on them too long. Try jumping on one of the
clouds and hopefully the CPU will follow, then when its about to go out hit
him/her and they will die.
Past Stage/Kongo Jungle- A stage with 2 moving platforms and a barrel cannon.
If you get knocked off, make sure you use the barrel cannon to get back on,
it can save you in times of need most of the time. You know, why did they
waste good past stage space on Yoshis Island and Kongo Jungle, when they could
be replaced by the way more popular Saffron City or even better Hyrule Castle?
The world will never know..
Flat Zone- Mr Game&Watchs own zone is lots of his own handheld games mixed
into one. In this stage, tools will fall from the ground and the platforms
will move because of some thing from a Game and Watch game. This is a very
small stage, so use smash attacks alot, and i mean alot, because most of the
time Bowsers smash attacks are strong enough to knock anyone out of this
stage with one hit.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
9.Classic Mode
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Designed to get you through hard mode without continuing.
1.Bowser Vs. ???(Random Opponent)
Just Bowser fighting a random opponent.. nothing special. Just kick their
arse.
2.Bowser and ???(Random teammate) vs. Team ???(2 random opponents)
Ok i think this is how it goes. If you are playing Very Easy, your partner
will be on a Very Hard type difficulty. If your playing Very Hard, your
partner will be on a very easy difficulty. So if your playing Easy, your
partner is hard, on hard, your partner is easy, and on normal everyone is
normal. Since this is supposed to get you through HARD, your partner will be
easy. While one of the CPUs is attacking your partner, Smash them, and the
other one. The Bowser Headbutt and Whirling Fortress worked good for me.
3.Break the Targets
(See section 11, Break The Targets)
4.Bowser Vs. ???(Random Opponent)
Again Bowser fighting some random opponent.
5.Bowser, ???, and ???(2 random teammates) vs. Giant ???(random Giant opponent)
Again the same formula as the B&? vs ?&?. On Hard, the giant will usually go
after you. Keep using Whirling Fortress, then smash attack them. Not too hard,
but can be difficult sometimes.
6.Snag The Trophys
Snag trophys. Pretty self-explanitory. Use Bowsers Up+A.
7.Bowser vs. ???(Random Opponent)
...
8.Bowser vs. Team ???(10 Random Opponents)
On hard mode, this is usually where i first lose a life. Keep using Smash
attacks, because usually Whirling Fortress just wont do on hard mode. Its
usually harder against team Luigi for some reason. Break a leg.
9.Race to the Finish
<erase erase> You know what, forget what i said. Take the bottom path. It will
get you there alot faster and its not too hard if you jump right.
10.Bowser vs Metal ???(random opponent)
On hard mode, i usually lose 1 or 2 lives here. Keep using Whirling Fortress
and try to throw them off when they get enough damage. Use smash attacks if
they have about 200% and they still wont fall off.
11.Bowser vs Master Hand (and maybe Crazy Hand)
Master Hand is easy cheese. Just use Whirling Fortress on him. When hes about
to shoot you, use your shield. Lasers? Psh. Just go to the other direction or
just keep using Whirling Fortress. If you are playing Normal or harder, after
Master Hand is half way damaged, and you have not continued, Crazy Hand will
appear. He has pretty much the same moves as Master Hand except he has 2
different ones. One he goes crazy and has some sort of spasm type thing and
the other one he drops bombs. They also have some teamwork moves. Watch out
for the one where they put sleep powder on you and clap their hands. Also,
if one of the hands grabs you, hit buttons crazily to get out. (If you get
in Crazy Hands grab you will get a Lips Stick effect.) When crazy comes out,
you should kill Master Hand first, then go after Crazy Hand. It can be
challenging at times, but youll get them easy with Whirling Fortress. Do a few
Bowser Bombs if you get knocked high, too.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
10.Adventure Mode
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
1.Mushroom Kingdom
Piece of cake here. Make your way through the Goombas and Koopas. Firebreath
the Goombas for a simple KO. Some of the Goombas have trophys when you kill
them, so make sure you kill each one that you see. When you get to the Yoshis,
use Whirling Fortress to take them out easily. Walk on to the finish. If your
ending time has a 2 on the ones place of the seconds (x:x2:xx) then you will
fight Peach and Luigi, if not, you will fight the normal Peach and Mario.
Peach and Mario/Luigi
Just keep using Whirling Fortress and the Bowser Bomb. Also, try to stay away
from them when they are together, they can start comboing you crazy. They
arent too hard if you know what your doing.
2.Kongo Jungle
2 Small DKs- This is a joke, use your Bowser Headbutt(Smash A) on them twice.
Its over for them.
Giant DK-Another joke. Just smash attack him. He usually commits suicide 3/4
of the time anyways.
3.Underground Maze
Ok heres what you do. First drop down, just straight down. Is there a sword?
If not, get the triforce to complete the level. If there is, jump back up.
(BTW, a combo whirling fortress takes out the redeads easily.) Go to the
farther right platform. Jump onto the ledge in the middle, then jump to the
platform on the left, then down the stairs. Is there a sword there? If not,
pick up the triforce to leave the level, if there is, then go back onto the
tall ledge. Now jump on the platform to the right, into the cave to the right.
Sword? If not, take the triforce to leave the level. If there is, get ready
to fight link. Walk towards it. Take him out. Go onward, take out the redeads
with fire breath. Sword? If not, take the triforce, if so, fight Link again.
Go onward down the pit. Sword? If not, take the triforce, if so, fight link.
Go on to the next sword/triforce.Go onward down the pit. Sword? If not, take
the triforce, if so, fight link. Go on to the next sword/triforce. If you make
it this far its most likely the triforce.
Zelda/Shiek- Fight Zelda/Shiek. Take her out. Not too hard, Shiek can be cheap
somtimes though.
4.Brinstar
Samus- Watch out for that retarded extendo grabbing beam thing. Just keep
using the Whirling Fortress and smash attacks and youll get her.
Warning!- Jump to the top of the level. I recommend not to use the 3rd jump
until you need it.
A cool cutscene of the earth exploding.
5.Green Greens
Kirby- Just take him out using your normal Bowser fighting skills. One stupid
thing CPU Kirby does is stone the star blocks and fall off the stage. When he
turns into stone, charge up a smash attack and as soon as he changes back WAM
hes gone.
15 Kirbys- A joke. Keep using whirling fortress.
Giant Kirby(sometimes)- Pretty tough but easy. When he turns into stone,
start charging up a smash attack, when he turns back youll hit him fully
charged.
Update: You fight Giant Kirby if you manage to beat the 15 kirbys in less
than half a minute.
6.Corneria
Fox- Take him out with smashes and fire breath.
Fox Again/Falco- Fox again/Falco, except this time, theres tons of arwings
shooting at you and fox/falco. Thats a good thing. Why? It lets Fox get hit
while you charge up a smash and hit him off the stage.
7.Pokemon Stadium
12 Pokemon- Haha. Start picking up and chucking pokeballs at them and they
are goners.
This one can be quite hard sometimes when you are on hard or very hard mode.
Just keep using the pokeballs and you should make it through.
8.F-Zero Grand Prix
Ok. First run(or whatever the heck Bowser is doing when hes dashing) as fast
as you can. When you get to the third platform, jump on it. When the cars go
by, run off again. This time jump on the 2nd platform. Run as fast as you can
again, this time landing on the 2nd (pink) platform. Dont worry, the cars cant
hit you on that platform. Let them go by, then jump on the little platform and
up back on the race track, and run to the finish.
Captain Falcon- You might have to get him up a bit on damage till you smash
his stupid self off the stage.
9.Onett
3 Nesses- You fight 3 easy Nesses. Just smash them to their deaths. Mr.
Saturns crowd the area.
10.Icicle Mountain
This one can be difficult. Just keep jumping, The stage will start scrolling
faster after about 20 seconds. When you get to the ice climbers, just smash
them to take them out. Simple.
11.Battlefield
Wireframes- Keep using Whirling Fortress. Shouldnt be too hard.
Metal Mario Bros- This can be hard. Just keep using Whirling Fortess combo
on them and then smash them out of there.
12.Final Destination
Bowser- Get him up to 150%, knock him far, and when hes coming back, charge
up a smash attack, then hit him.
Giga Bowser- Wow. This guy is really, really strong. One uncharged smash
attack from him will most likely knock you off. It takes about 300% damage
to knock him off. To do this, whirling fortress him, when you are coming back
down, he will most likely go for the Giga Bomb, so roll out of the way so he
doesnt hit you. Most of his attacks are elemental (i think his whirling
fortress is Ice and his Giga Headbutt is Fire). The main things you need to
watch out for in this battle is the Giga Bomb, he uses it alot, so when you
see him going for it, roll out of the way. When you get him up to enough
damage use the Bowser Headbutt (smash A). For those who want to know, to get
to Giga Bowser you have to beat adventure on Normal or harder in under 18
minutes.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
11.All-Star Mode
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Well, all i can really say is, if your fighting 1 person, use a normal
fighting tactic, make sure you dont take too much damage. I dont usually take
any of the 3 hearts until i get about 80%. When fighting 2, use whirling
fortress alot along with fire breath and seperate the 2. When fighting 3, the
fire breath whirling fortress combo is great, and also just smash attacks.
The All-Star Pattern is 4 1v1, 4 1v2, and 4 1v3, then 25 Mr. Game and Watchs.
The G&W's are not hard, just keep using whirling fortress.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
12.Break The Targets
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
My best time:21.60
Nothing too hard or complicated to this BtT..
1.Turn left and punch the first one
2.Jump to the right and hit the 2nd one, fall onto the platform with the
flipper.
3.Hit the target by the flipper.
4.Let the flipper go up, then jump up and whirling fortress the 4th one. Keep
goin to the left till you land on the fall-through platform and fall through
it.
5.When your right below it, whirling fortress it. Land on the platform with
the target.
6.Swat at it. Go to your right.
7.Whirling Fortress this one. Jump up till you see the next target.
8.Whirling Fortress it, land on the platform.
9.Punch this one.
10.Jump from this platform underneath the one next to in and whirling fortress
it.
Best Times (Send me your times at
[email protected])
1.)16.48-Me!
2.)21.77-Syotee
3.)---------
4.)---------
5.)---------
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
13.Home Run Contest
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
My Distance=1364.7
From Mario 64 Master:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is how I got 1596:
1.Grab the bat.
2.Double jump over the bag and smash throw the bat straight up.
When you are coming down into the bag but still in the air, do an Up B. It
will suck the bag up for 30% damage and the bat will hit it for another 20% or
so.
3.Pick up the bat and do it again.
4.When you and the bag land, do an Up B on the ground.
5.When the bag comes down, be on the right side of it and do a left A
(not running or smash). It will bounce off the back wall and come back to
the platform. As it's going there, pick up the bat. Facing left, when it
comes back, swing the bat while the bag is coming over you. If you hit it
when it's above you and not in front of you, the bat won't make the ping
noise and the bag will go much further.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This takes lots of almost perfect timing, skill, and patience to do. Also, I
noticed on step 4, timing is very, very crucial. If you time it wrong, the
bag will go flying. Thanks Mario 64 Master for this great technique!
Best Distances (Send me your distance at
[email protected])
1.)1596-Mario 64 Master
2.)1364.7-Me!
3.)1214.5-Syotee
4.)1112.9-XGiga BowserX
5.)---------
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
14.Multi-Man Melee
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
10 Man Melee- Oh please. If you really need help with this, you should jump
off a cliff. Just use Whirling Fortress.
100 Man Melee- Its 10 Man Melee, except 10 times more difficult! Yet another
simple one. Keep using Whirling Fortress.
3 Minute Melee- Now it starts getting tough. For this one, use whirling
fortress again, and if you get low on health, start jumping over the enemys
heads.
15 Minute Melee- This one is really, really, REALLY hard. For this one, I
recommend staying airborn as long as you can, and if you have to use the
bowser bomb on them to make them go away. Use Whirling Fortress to take them
out if you want to do it the non-chicken way.
Endless Melee- I heard if you beat Endless Melee you get a secret level.
(Note: Sarcasm for the stupid people)
Cruel Melee- We all hate cruel melee. Why? Because its cruel. The best tactic
i found on this one is to keep using Bowser Bomb, and eventually they will
fly off the screen.
My Score=7 KOs.
Best Scores (Send me your scores at
[email protected])
1.)20-RavensFlux
2.)7-Me!
3.)4-Syotee
4.)---------
5.)---------
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
15.Event Matches
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
This will help you beat (character selectable) events with Bowser.
Event 3/Bombfest- You shouldnt really have trouble with this one, seeing as
how the enemys kill themselves alot. Just stay away from the electrodes.
Event 4/Dino Wrangling- Get Yoshi to abour 100%, then just throw him off.
You can get his damage up easily by using Whirling Fortress.
Event 6/Kirbys on Parade- CPU Kirbys on Parade. Just use the Koopa Klaw and
they will die in one hit. Dumb CPU Kirbys.
Event 7/Pokemon Battle- This one can really make you mad sometimes. The only
way to damage Pikachu is through pokemon. So every time you see a pokeball,
run to it and throw it staight down. If a good one comes out, it will hit
Pikachu for a bit then another Pokeball appears while that happens, then more
and more and you just keep throwing them while pikachu dies.
Event 8/Hot Date on Brinstar- You will start out with %102 damage and Samus
will start out with %130. This one is hilariously easy, if you hit her with
a smash attack, charged or not, she dies.
Event 9/Hide 'n' Shiek- Probably one of the most hated events, you can only
kill Zelda when she is Shiek. When Zelda is Zelda, use Fire Breath and comboed
Whirling fortresses alot, then when one changes into Shiek, start using Smash
attacks on her, and you should be able to do it.
Event 10/All Star Match 1- You fight a series of people. Mario shouldnt be
a problem, just use normal fighting tactics against him and he should be gone,
but be careful about using Bowser Bomb on this stage so you dont fall through
the 3 center blocks. After Mario you get sent to Jungle Japes to fight DK,
I found it easy to use Snack Time on him and then smash him. After DK, you are
sent to Yoshis Island to fight Yoshi. Again not a problem, Yoshi is easy, just
use normal fighting tactics. After Yoshi you get sent to Peachs Castle to
fight, guess who, Peach! Peach is very easy, just get here near the edge and
smash attack her. After Peach you are send to the Cruise Ship to fight Bowser.
(Is it me or is this his main stage? If so thats stupid.) Again i took him
and smashed attack him from the edge. This is not a hard All Star Match.
Event 11/King of the Mountain- Stay alive on Icicle Mountain for a minute. The
only thing bothering use is 2 pesky little Ice Climber duos. Just stay near
the bottom of the stage and move up. Dont stay too near the bottom though,
incase it starts going really fast and you die. If one of the Ice Climbers
comes towards you, you can easily take them out with a smash attack.
Event 12/Seconds, Anyone?- Not as hard as it sounds. You both start out with
%100. Smash attack Captain Falcon and he dies.
Event 14/Trophy Tussle 1- You go against 3 random opponents for the Goomba
Trophy. You can easily take them out with Whirling Fortresses and Fire
Breaths.
Event 15/Girl Power- You are tiny Bowser against the 3 Normal sized females
of the game. The only one that does anything, like usual, is Samus. Peach
stands there and does nothing and Zelda will turn into a Shiek a few times.
Samus will try to do her Up+B on you alot. This match can be easily won by
using using smash A, Bowser Bomb, and Whirling Fortress.
Event 20/All Star Match 2- Your first foe is Samus. I beat her easy using
Snack Time and smash attacks. Watch out for the Lava. Your 2nd enemy is Link
in Great Bay. I beat him easy using the Technique explained on the Level
Stategys section. (Platform by turtles nose throw.) Now you are send to
Hyrule Temple to fight Zelda/Shiek. Use normal fighting techniques on her.
Now you are send to Mute City to fight Captain Falcon. This one can be tough.
Get him up to about %100 then smash him off. Use normal fighting tactics. Now
you are send to Corneria to fight Fox. I used Bowser Bomb on him a few times,
then smashed him and he flew away.
Event 21/Ice Breaker- This one sucks. Really. You have to KO the Nanas.(the
pink ones) and only the Nanas. You cant KO the Popos.(The blue ones.) And
to make it worse they are always jumping!! Heres the worst part- You have
one minute to do it!!! Heres how I did it. Grab one of the Ice Climbers,
if you grab Popo, throw him Up, if you get Nana, throw her to the edge and
smash attack her. Repeat for the other Nana. This one will take you a few
tries, but youll get the hang of it.
Event 22/Super Mario 128- This one is so easy its not funny. The only possible
person that could lose to this event is a CPU Kirby. Just keep using Whirling
Fortress. ANY attack will kill the Marios in one hit, even Flame Breath.
Event 23/Slippy's Invention- This one can be a challenge if you dont look
close enough. Trust me, you can see them. Use Fire Breath and when they get
about %60 damage, smash them off.
Event 24/The Yoshi Herd- Whirling Fortress them, Koopa Klaw them, throw them,
eat them, whatever you want. Another easy battle. Watch out for the 3 blocks
in the middle. The 30th Yoshi is a giant Yoshi that can be knocked off easily
with a smash attack.
Event 25/Gargantuans- Bowsers own event. You get to fight Giant Donkey Kong.
You are Giant Bowser. Also, there is a tiny Mario and a tiny Peach which can
be easily knocked off in one hit (i heard someone say they were just there to
look like civilians.) I stood on the moving platform (that you start on)
and waited for DK, when he came, i threw him to the left and smashed him, when
he came back on, i did it again until he died.
Event 26/Trophy Tussle 2- This one can be pretty hard. Use Fire Breath and
Whirling Fortress alot, along with Smash Attacks to know them off. Just keep
on keeping on. Bowser Bomb works wonders.
Event 28/Puffballs Unite!- You get to fight 14 stupid CPU Kirbys in this
battle. But they arent just CPU Kirbys. They each have their own power..
..oh well they are still CPU Kirbys. Use Smash Attacks on this one, whirling
fortress wont work all the time.
Event 30/All Star Match 3- Your first opponent is CPU Kirby. When he turns
into stone, and doesnt suicide, charge up a smash A on him and when he turns
back youll hit him and he'll die. Now you go to Pokemon Stadium to fight
Pikachu. He can be tough in this one. Use smash attacks and intercepts and
you should make it through. Now you are sent to Onett to fight Ness. Stand
on the bottom and let cars hit him by jumping or sidestepping when they come
by, then smash him away. Now you are sent to the evil Icicle Mountain to fight
the Ice Climbers. This is so not hard. Damage them a bit them smash them off.
Not as hard as the other events.
Event 31/Mario Bros. Madness- There are lots of speculations about this event.
Some people say that it is won by getting more Bonuses, because sometimes when
someone is sure they got more KOs they get failure. I got it using KOs though.
Just use firebreath and smash attacks, this one can be hard. Try to get them
to suicide by standing on the platform and letting them follow, then when
it falls, jump back up, and sometimes they cant make it.
Event 37/Legendary Pokemon- Even though I no longer like Pokemon ever since
Pokemon Gold/Silver came out, this, for some reason, is my FAVORITE event.
It is just so fun to see all the legendary pokemon and the annoying little
Jigglypuff scream "Jiggily!!" as its knocked off the screen. Also, by beating
this event, you get challenged by Pikachu. I also think its easiest to see
Mew in this event, because i dont have everything (score display) and I once
saw him twice in a row! Anyways, heres how to win: GET THE FIRST POKEBALL!!
Dont get the 2nd, or the 3rd, because if Jigglypuff gets the 1st pokeball
you are screwed, unless its a Wobuffet(the only non legendary pokemon in this
event). Legendary Pokemons attacks are long, so while they are getting
attacked, more pokeballs fall for you to throw! This can be a very easy event
if you keep getting the pokeballs, also, the wireframes dont pick up
pokeballs, so once Jigglypuff is dead, all the Pokemon are yours!! Simple.
Event 38/Super Mario Bros. 2- If you havent noticed yet, the events get
progressively harder as you go. This one is hard. Why? Because its 3 on
one!! You have to fight Mario, Luigi, and Peach all at the same time. You
can get their damage up by using lots of Fire Breaths and Bowser Bombs,
then sneak in a smash attack to knock them off. Break a leg.
Event 40/All Star Match 4- Your first opponent is Marth. I managed to get
some long Fire Breaths on him, then smash him off. Not too hard, but watch
out for his stupid sword. After that you are sent to Mushroom Kingdom II to
fight Luigi. Once again get some long Fire Breaths going on him and smash him
off. He can put up a fight. Next you are sent to Poke Floats to fight
Jigglypuff. Bowser Bomb him and smash him off. Hes not as hard as Luigi or
Marth. If he comes back smash him again. Now you are sent to Final Destination
to fight Mewtwo. Cant say much here, just use normal fighting tactics like
the fire breath whirling fortress combo and smash attacks. When Mewtwo dies
you are sent to Flat Zone to fight Mr. Game and Watch. This one isnt too hard
if you hit him a few times then smash him, seeing as how this is the smallest
level and Mr. G&W is very light. A decent All Star Match.
Event 44/Mewtwo Strikes- Dont fight Zelda. Just dont. Wait for Mewtwo to
appear out of no where, then Smash him a bunch of times and he should die.
Not too hard.
Event 46/Fire Emblem Pride- You can use the cave technique (descrived in level
stategys section) on this one, or, if you want an easy but hard way, go to
the low low low platform (the one the 2nd cave leads to) and jump around, they
will try to Up+B you and sometimes miss, making them fall off. This can be a
very challenging battle because they like to use little sword hits all the
time as a team. Just fire breath them and whirling fortress and smash and
whatever. Just kill them. Also if your using the platform technique be very
careful not to fall off. One time when i was standing on the platform, roy had
just died, then he was walking towards me and he just fell off. No attack or
anything. What an idiot. Also on the platform you can throw one to the right
and when they are coming back smash them off.
Event 47/Trophy Tussle 3- VERY EXTREMELY hard. What i did on this one was use
Bowser Bomb on them multiple times. You will take damage. This is basically
3 against 1 with friendly fire off. This will take many many tries, but
eventually you will overcome. Also, if Pikachu or Pichu is one of the random
opponents, restart, because their thunder will kill you. Alot.
Event 48/Pikachu and Pichu- Turn on some music or something, turn the volume
down on your TV, no matter how cute you think these guys are, you will get
this sensation to shoot yourself after hearing thousands of "pi"s and "pika"s
like they are constapated or something. This one is another hard one. Try to
get Pikachus damage up a bit, and hit him so he goes very far, but not off
and dies, because he has infinity lives. The pichus only have 1. You have 2.
When you get the chance, smash the Pichus alot, and i mean alot. Youll get
them after about 100 tries and 1000000 Pi's.
Event 49/All Star Match Deluxe- I cant really offer you any advise, seeing
as how they are all Level 9, it will take skill to beat this one. Go out
there and break a leg. Use items and whirling fortress combos as much as
you can and smash them off. Falco will be your toughest. You should have
mastered rolling by now, if you do that he wont be too hard. Break a leg.
Event 50/Final Destination Match- The first hand you should go after is
crazy hand (the left one for those CPU Kirbys out there) because Master
Hand is much easier. Just keep using Whirling Fortress, if one of them grabs
you just start mashing buttons and you should get out. Sometimes Crazy Hand
just stands there for a while and lets you hit him. Also watch out for their
double team attacks, they are deadly. Once Crazy Hand is out of the way
Master Hand shouldnt be too hard if you havent take much damage. The R/L
Button comes in handy on this event.
Event 51/The Showdown- Ive done this one with Bowser a few times. With no l
ives left and like %100 damage. The first person you should go after is Giga
Bowser, Whirling Fortress him alot of times. After you do that whirling
fortress combo him to the opposite end then smash him off. When hes gone,
start using your usual stuff against Mewtwo and Ganondorf. The hardest person
in this battle, in my opionion, is Ganondorf. Hes always last and hurts me
really bad. When you kill them be proud because you are a very good Bowser
user. It gets easy when Giga Bowser is gone..
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
16.Special Melee(s)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
This will help you on the special melee battles (stamina, tiny, etc.)
Camera Mode- Take pictures. Yay. Make pictures of Bowser roasting Pichu or
something. Have fun!
Stamina Mode- My favorite mode (although they couldve thrown in some an
options menu). Fire Breath can win this one easy for you, but make sure you
stay a good distance from the enemys, since you are slow they will tend to
team up on you sometimes and do some good damage. Bowser is powerful so this
one shouldnt be too hard against 1 person. Break a leg.
Super Sudden Death- Bowser pick ups an advantage here being the heaviest
person in the game, some of the attacks that'll KO someone in one hit wont
work as good against Bowser. Use Whirling Fortress and Koopa Klaws and
Bowser Bombs, throw every item you see at your opponents. Dont use fire
breath. That will just slow you down and kill you. Throwing may seem to be
a good idea here, but dont, because of your slowness, if you go against a
skilled player and they dodge it, you just set yourself up for a KO.
Also try avoiding using smash attacks unless you come back from getting KO'd.
Giant Melee- Bowser once again picks up an advantage because of his weight.
But a disadvantage from his size makes him easy to hit in this melee. Try to
use Fire Breath and smash attacks alot seeing as how in the smaller stages the
characters are bunched togeter. Whirling Fortress works too. Use any items you
stumble onto, they will help big in this melee.
Tiny Melee- Bowser.. again.. gets an advantage here this time from his breath.
No not the smell, but no matter what size you are, Bowsers fire breath will
always remain the same size. So that means big flame time!! Use your giant
fire breath in this melee to damage your opponents badly then smash them
away. Hammers are a good item to use in this melee.
Invisible- A fun melee but can really make you mad sometimes. I like to use
Whirling Fortress and Smash A as my main attacks. If you are fighting against
a friend, try to avoid using Fire Breath as that will show where you are. Then
again, doing anything will show where you are. Oh well. Just use it when they
are near, then hit them with what you got. Also, be careful of the edges of
the level and make sure you dont fall off. It happens to me alot.
Fixed Camera Mode- Probably the biggest waste of good special melee mode ive
ever seen. Its a camera that shows the whole level. Hooray. They coulve
put in something more productive like Metal Melee or something. But noooooo.
"Hey guys, lets make a camera that shows the whole level!!" No offense to any
poor sap who actually likes this mode, its just dumb. Just fight and win.
This mode is almost as stupid as a CPU Kirby, who are so stupid it takes them
an hour to make minute made rice.
Single-Button Mode- Both a big advantage and a big disadvantage for Bowser.
His smash attacks have awesome power, and so do nearly all of his other A
attacks. But, you dont have a triple jump in this mode, and Bowsers jump is
very bad. Just keep hitting your opponents with Smash Attacks and you can
knock a few out. Also, dont forget X/Y jumpers, those buttons are disabled
so you have to use Up on the rotation stick. (I prefer X, though.) Just a
plain Forward A punch will help you alot too.
Lightning Melee- They shouldve made this 2x speed, THEN it would be lightning
fast. Bowsers slowness actually helps in this melee, seeing as now he is a bit
easier to control. Use normal fighting tactics. Dont forget that this is a
faster melee.
Slow Mo Melee- Bowsers slowness is once again a disadvantage. This melee,
though, can help improve your timing. I just like using the fire breath
whirling fortress combo in this melee. Break a leg.
=-=-=-=-=
17.Items
=-=-=-=-=
This will provide stuff to do with items, what to do with them, and what not
to do with them.
Food- Its food. Try eating food at all costs, even if it does only heal about
3%-7%, it can help sometimes. Keep your enemys away from food. Every damage
point counts.
Maxim Tomato- Heals 50%. Get the Maxim Tomato whenever you can. It appears
alot more frequently then the heart container. In SSB, it healed 100%. Why
they changed it.. i dont know. I guess because it healed too much. Keep your
enemys away from it when it appears, rush to it whenever you see it, even
if you have full health.
Heart Container- Heals 100%. Not only does it no longer heal all damage, its
very rare. I could get 50 Maxim Tomatos to appear before this thing does. Its
a rip off, but get it anyways. Get it as soon as you see it so your enemy
doesnt get his/her damage down!
Warp Star- An AWESOME item! When you try to take it, you will get on it, go
flying in the air, and hit your opponent and send them flying! You control
where it goes by holding left or right on the control stick, or no direction
at all. Be warned though that its control is very stiff, so it wont move far.
This item works greatest when going against more than 1 person, since it will
usually send anyone flying if they have a decent amount of damage. Try to
avoid falling off the edge while controlling it, because.. thats bad.
Ray Gun- An item i dont like. It works like Falcos blaster except it sends
further and it does more damage. Its slow though, making you open for a smart
attack. Try not to use this in a melee against more than 1 person, but in a
1 on 1 melee, use it. Throw it when it gets empty.
Super Scope- The SNES utility is much much better (in my opinion) than the Ray
Gun. It shoots laser bullets like a machine gun, allowing you to hit your
opponent with a steady flow of bullets, or in a melee against a group, you can
charge up the gun while they are fighting and hit them with the fully charged
bullet to send them flying. Throw it when it runs out of ammo. A very useful
item.
Fire Flower- The Melee version of the Fire Flower is crap. Stay away from this
horrible item. Instead of keeping your opponent trapped in flames, like in
SSB, it will send them away, so you can only do like 10 damage at a time.
Stay away from this thing, Fire Breath is alot better. You can, however, use
this on groups of people, but Fire Breath is still better. The only use I
found for it was picking it up and throwing it at my enemy, or just throwing
it off the stage.
Lip's Stick- If you hit your enemy with Lip's Stick, it will poison them and
do damage to them slowly, the bigger the flower the more the damage (I think),
If you ever get hit by it, simply just start hitting all directions on the
control stick, and the flower will fall off. This is a very useful item and
i recommend using it followed by Fire Breath. When it runs out of Poison,
throw it at your enemy.
Star Rod- When you get this item and smash with it, it will shoot 1 star for
Bowser (some characters can actually shoot more, the most being a whopping 4
with Captain Falcon). Use the stars when you first get the rod to do some
damage from afar, when you run out of stars, smash attack your opponents with
it to send them flying. An OK item, if you get tired of it just throw it
at your enemy. An alright item but there is better.
Beam Sword- Like the star rod except its more powerful and doesnt shoot
stars. It is shorter than the beam sword in SSB, but it can still be useful.
Use it like you would any other rod type item. Throw it when you get tired
of it.
Home Run Bat- The most powerful item in the game, when smashed it will,
no matter what (with the exception of a few Hyrule Temple occasions), do a
1 hit KO. Whenever you see this great item fall from the sky, push everyone
out of your way and run like heck to it. When you get it, start homerunning
people like crazy (Smash A for the newer people). Even some Level 9's and
smart players can get killed by this item. A great item overall, its charge
time has been reduced since SSB, making it better.
Fan- "Oh boy, the fan. How crappy. (Throw off the stage)." This is what you
might think about the Fan since SSB. But it has actually been improved a
little seeing as how you can do major damage with it. How? Sure it may only
do 1%-2% damage with a normal hit, but if you grab it then start hitting A
like crazy near your enemy, you will combo them for lots of damage. If they
are the type that comes near you and uses a Down B or something, use it like
you would the Fire Breath Whirling Fortress combo and use the Whirling
Fortress when they get near you. This can be a good item if you know what your
doing with it.
Hammer- In my opinion the 2nd best item next to the Home Run Bat. When you
see this run to it and grab it, then start hitting your opponents like wild.
They will go flying because of the hammers awesome power. A new thing to the
hammer since SSB is now sometimes the head of the hammer falls off, and you
will be walking around just swinging the stick leaving you wide open for
attacks. If this happens, just start jumping around until it ends. If your
opponent gets the hammer, just jump over them. Its cheap but hey, it works.
If the opponents head comes off the hammer, pick up the head and throw it at
them for lots of damage.
From SAHMSue-
Hey! Great FAQ. I have a hammer strategy: Use the Bowser Bomb. You go right
through the hammer and hit them! Bowser rocks! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Green Shell- The Green Shell is just a throwing item except it hits further
and does more damage. Keep chunking it at your opponents and sometimes they
will go flying.
Red Shell- With the Red Shell you throw it and it starts homing the person
you threw it at. Try to stay away from it when you throw it, it can send
you really far. A pretty good item overall, just be careful around it. Also
it only stays on the ground.
Flipper- The flipper is the cheap rip off version of the awesome Bumper except
it floats in air instead of sticking to the ground. So if you use this on
a moving stage (Corneria, Big Blue) it will move away with the stage (a nice
little effect). You can throw it at a computer player and they will keep
running into it like idiots, but most smart normal people will jump over it.
Freezie- The freezie is an awesome item that, when thrown at your opponent,
will turn them into an ice block and leave it like that for a while. I like
to use smash attacks while they are frozen. Dont use Fire Breath, because
that will melt the ice (how realistic). Another thing you can do is knock
your enemy far, and when they are coming back, throw a Freezie at them to
turn them into a block of ice and watch them fall to their death. Air
dodging wont help them either because they will just fall because they cant
jump anymore. When you get frozen.. well all i can say is hope your opponent
doesnt do any good attacks on you.
Mr. Saturn- Mr. Saturn will push items off the edge of the stage. Mr. Saturn
is also a good thing and a bad thing because when thrown at someone they will
barely move, but he does like 10%. Throw Mr. Saturn at your opponents many
times then smash them or Koopa Klaw them to make them go flying. This can
be a good item, and at times a bad item.
Pokeball- A very very useful item, like pokemon or not. Throwing one will
make a random pokemon come out of the pokeball, some very useful, and some
not. Since this is a Bowser FAQ im not going to waste my time with thorough
descriptions of each Pokemon, but point out the more important ones. The most
useless Pokemon is Goldeen. There are rumors that Goldeen can do a one hit KO,
but i have not seen this yet, so it is unconfirmed (by me). One useful
Pokemon is Electrode. Why? Mainly because Bowser can pick up and throw
electrode, unlike the other characters (besides DK). This is good because
electrode hits very very far because it has a huge explosion. If you pick it
up, throw it right away because he explodes quickly. You can pick him up by
pressing A by him when he turns black.
Bob-omb- A very annoying but useful item. Throwing this at an enemy will make
it explode sending them off very far. The bad thing about Bob-ombs is that
if they are left alone for about 10 seconds, they will start moving on their
own, and if you run into it while its walking, it will explode and you will
most likely get sent off the screen. Pick these up whenever you see them so
they dont start walking or your opponent gets one.
Motion Sensor Mine- A sneaky version of the Bob-omb. When you pick it up and
throw it, it attacks to the wall you threw it at, and when someone touches it
they are send flying by an explosion. Try to be really sneaky with this one.
I like to attach it to the ground, then go in another direction and let my
enemy follow and as they are walking towards me getting ready to use Roys
retared Up+B, bam they are sent flying into oblivion. A very good item except
one bad thing- ALWAYS remember where you put it! If no one runs into it after
a while and you forget where you put it you will probably step on it and die.
You can tell where it is because it glows a little green light, noticible in
some stages and hard to see in some. Also if your opponent sets one, Fire
Breath it to make it explode and get rid of it.
Super Mushroom- An item that has just about no disadvantage except sometimes
if you get stupid with it youll fall off stages with little cracks (Jungle
Japes). Use smash attacks when you get big to send your opponents flying.
Poison Mushroom- The item that has no advantage! When you get this item, stay
away from everyone else because a very little attack will send you flying.
The difference between a Poison Mushroom and a Super Mushroom is that the
Poison one is purplish red instead of bright red, you can tell the difference
after a while.
Starman- If you get a star man you become invincible, so nothing will hurt
you at all! Take full advantage of this item because it has NO disadvantages!
If your opponent gets one, just start running from them because there is
nothing you can do about it.
Parasol- A weak version of an unstarred star rod with the except if you jump
with it you can float with it. Its weak so dont expect it to do much damage
or send your opponent flying, i dont recommend this item.
Screw Attack- You can do 2 things with this item. 1 you can keep it and jump
to do a screw attack on your opponents, which is what you should do if
your fighting more than 1 person. 2 you can throw it at your opponent to make
them do a screw attack and do some damage which your should do if your doing
a 1 on 1. I dont really like this item either, but some people like it alot
more than I do.
Metal Box- Both good and bad. Its good because when you get it, you become
much harder to knock off. Bad because when you get it, you fall alot faster
and can fall off easier if you arent quick enough. So get it or not? I'd get
it if you are in a large stage. If you are in the smaller stages, let your
opponent have it, then throw them off and laugh.
Bunny Hood- The Bunny Hood is a very good item because it makes you faster
and you jump about 3x as high as you used too (excluding your third jump).
Get this whenever you can, it can save you from falling off alot. Be careful
with it though so you dont go out of control because of the speed and fall
off. You shouldnt have a problem with that because of Bowsers speed though.
A good item.
Cloaking Device- Makes you turn invisible. Good against a friend but bad
against a computer because they are computers so they can see you. I dont like
this item sometimes because if you dont watch out you can fall off without
noticing. So should you get it or not? Get it in the flat out large stages,
but in the smaller stages watch out for it so you dont go falling off like
I do sometimes.
Barrel Cannon- If you throw it at your opponent, they will go inside the
cannon and get shot in a direction of their choice. Dont throw this at anyone.
Let them throw it at you.
Party Ball- Like a crate or barrel accept it lets out 4 items, and usually
they are all the same thing (sometimes it lets out tons of food, or 4 of
any item, or sometimes just various things).
Barrel- Lets out random items.
Crate- Lets out random items. Sometimes the crates will countain Octoroks,
Redeads, Goombas, and Like-Likes, but this is usually rare. They dont do
anything except annoy you. You can knock them off easy.
=-=-=-=
18.FAQ
=-=-=-=
1.Do you believe that theres a way to get Giga Bowser?
Ok here is my honest opionion about this: I think its way too obvious that
Giga Bowser is in the game. I mean, it says it in sound test. Sure, theres a
message saying you got all the secret characters, big whoopdee doo. But with
all the recent finds lately, like Samuses long through and more importantly
Fox and Falcos secret taunts, i think it is likely. However i don't think it
would be too easy, since ive been trying to find Bowsers "secret taunt" for a
while now along with other people (Ganondorf and Kirby) and have no luck.
I am not saying he is in the game, but its a very little possibility.
You know what, i was thinking, if they put Giga Bowser in the game
some way, form, or fashion, Bowser would pretty much be useless. I guess the
only bad part to him is that hes really easy to hit..
2.Did u no sonic and tales r in tha game!?
SONIC AND TAILS ARENT IN THE GAME!! It was, as I stated, AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE
BY EGM. Lots of people, including me, have tons more then 20 KOs on Cruel
Melee. I have 43 with Jigglypuff. THEY ARENT IN THE GAME!
3.But EGM said..
APRIL FOOLS JOKE!!!
4.But they had pictures of..
APRIL FOOLS JOKE!!!
5.Whats Bowser doing when he is running?
Hes not running, hes sliding with an engine in his shell. If you listen and
look closely, you can see sparks coming from his shell and hear a motor noise.
6.Why was the Tamagon trophy taken out?
Not a Bowser related question, but the 291st trophy, Tamagon, was taken out
because NOA has a problem with a little dinosaur burning crosses and
collecting bibles. Or something like that. And no, you cant get Tamagon by
changing the language to Japanese, so dont even try it. (For curios people,
he was a lottery trophy)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
19.Coming Soon
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
More strategys (there will always be more strategys)..
And more..
If you have an idea for a new section, send it to me at
[email protected]
because i really need one..
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
20.CPU Kirby Jokes
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
This section is dedicated to CPU Kirby jokes.
Fire Link
-CPU Kirbys are so dumb, they buy solar powered flash lights.
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, they failed recess.
-Tons more spreaded throughout this FAQ.
Keikos Husband
-CPU Kirbys are so dumb they use their Down+B move above surfaces greatly
sloped toward the end of the stage!
Nic64
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, they put screen doors on a submarine.
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, they invented a helicopter ejection seat.
-CPU Kirby is so stupid because it used its inhale move in a room full of
paint fumes!
PikaNerd
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, they invented clear paint.
-A counterfeiter was making some fake money when he realized that he made a
$15 bill. Knowing he'd get caught if he was seen with it, he went to the
grocery store because he knew a CPU Kirby worked there. He walked up to the
checkout line where the CPU Kirby was working and said, "Excuse me, sir, but
do you have change for a fifteen?" And the Kirby said "Sure! Do you want a
seven and an eight, or five threes?"
-CPU Kirby is so stupid, when it snows he goes outside and squirts Head &
Shoulders into the sky to help God's dandruff.
-CPU Kirby is so dumb, he sent back his steak because he asked for it rare
and they gave him a regular steak
-CPU Kirby is so stupid, he hired somebody to write his autobiography.
KujaKiller11
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, they put air conditioning on motorcycles.
GamecubeGuru
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, it takes them a week to watch 60 minutes.
Fantusta
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, they walk into a Roy charging his B move.
T1me2Play
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid they try to put M&Ms in alphabetical order!
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid they took a ruler to bed to see how long they slept.
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid you have to dig for their IQ!
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid they ask you, "What is the number for 911?"
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid they get stabbed in shootouts.
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid they call Dan Quayle for spell check.
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid it takes them a day to cook a 3 minute egg.
Turtleboy00
-CPU Kirbies are so stupid that they'd be flying over and endless abyss,
think that they were going too high and do what the kid in Willy Wonka did
by burping and fall to their doom!
Paliosun
-How do you kill a CPU Kirby? Put a Scratch n' Sniff at the bottom of a pool.
-A CPU Kirby got a plane going to California. He paid for coach seats, but
sat in first class. A stewardess noticed and tried to convince him to go to
coach, but failed. A second stewardess convinced him successfully. The first
stewardess asked her "How did you convince him?" and she said "I told him
first class is going to New York."
V Faction
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid they mourned when the phone lines went dead.
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid when asked for change they switch their pants and
shirt.
the last crusader
-CPU Kirby is so stupid he filled himself with gas then stuck the ignition key
in his eye.
-CPU Kirby is so stupid he geats beaten in chess by a mealworm.
zoom882
-CPU Kirby is so stupid he sucked up a wire frame for its special move.
Motrunks
-CPU Kirby is so stupid he sucks other Kirbys that havent already sucked up
a character for their special move.
LeGoLaS0
-CPU Kirby is so stupid he tried to kill a fish by drowning it.
-CPU Kirby is so stupid he tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
Quixim
-CPU Kirby is so stupid, he invented Dehydrated water
PatrickSays
-CPU Kirby is so stupid, when he threw a bob-omb at the ground, he
missed.
miraclematter
-CPU Kirbys are so stupid, they eat and use Electrode's(sp?) attack
Beat Box
-CPU Kirbys are so dumb, they leave at signs saying "airport left".
-CPU Kirbys are so dumb, they couldent find water if they fell out a boat.
-CPU Kirbys are so dumb, they buy money.
-CPU Kirbys are so dumb, they read comics for they're educational value.
-CPU Kirby, Link, and Mario were stranded in a desert. They find a cliff with
inscriptions that read, "jump off, and say what you wish to land in." Mario
jumps off and says, "gold!" and lands in a pile of gold. Link says, "silver"
and lands in a pile of silver. Kirby trips on a rock on his way off the
cliff,and says,"SH**!!"
-CPU Kirbys are so dumb, they go to deserts and look for sand.
-CPU Kirby, Mario, and Link are deserted in a desert.they find a lamp, rub it,
and a genie pops up and says, "each of you have one wish. Mario says, "i wanna
go to italy" and he pops up there. Link says, "i wanna go back to hyrule"
and he pops up there. CPU Kirby says, "I wish they were here."
cRiSpYkRiSpZ
-CPU Kirby's are so stupid, they die trying to boil water in a toaster.
-A CPU Kriby walks into a Target and goes to the clerk and says "Can I buy
this TV?" and the clerk goes "Sorry, we don't sell to moron Kirby's like you."
So the Kirby comes back the next day with a PoPo costume on, and asks "Can I
buy this TV" and the clerk goes "Sorry we don't sell to moron Kirby's". The
next day, the CPU Kirby gets a blow-up Link doll and gets inside and goes
"Can I buy this TV" and the clerk goes "I TOLD YOU! WE DON'T SELL TO YOUR
KIND!!!" and the Kirby goes "How in God's name did you know it was me?" and
the clerk goes "Because you've been bringing that microwave up to me for the
past 3 days!"
-Three CPU's are working on a construction site 100's of stories up. They are
sitting on a girder and the first CPU, Link, opens his lunch up. "ARGH! Ham
and cheese sandwich! I hate ham and cheese! If I get ham and cheese one more
time, I'm going to jump off this building!" So the next CPU, Roy, opens his
lunch. "Calamari pizza? If i get Calamari Pizza one more time, I'm jumping off
with Link! I HATE calamari pizza!" Then the last CPU, Kirby, opens his lunch
and goes "Lunchables! I hate Lunchables. If I get it once more, I'm going
down with the rest of you."
The next day, Link opens his lunch and finds ham and cheese. He jumps to his
death. Roy opens his brown bag to find calamari pizza. He follows Link's
example and dies.
Kirby opens Lunchables and kills himself also.
At the funeral processions, Zelda says "ARGH!! If only Link had told me he
doesn't like Ham and cheese! I would have packed him something else!"
Then Marth, Roy's boyfriend who is living with him, goes "He must have been
lying when he said he loved that calamari pizza! WAHHHHH!!!"
Then some guy from Kirby video games who Kirby lives with goes, "Don't look
at me. He packs his own lunch."
Tapion013
-Dr. Mario, Luigi, and a CPU Kirby were all arrested, and these criminal
masterminds were devising a plan to breakout ever since. After the third day
they finally blow out the back wall and out into the valley.
Dr. Mario: Hey, look, a three a sacs that a we can a hide in. Let's a GO!
Luigi: good a idea
CPU Kirby: HiiIIIiii!!!!
after they finally got in, the three guards that have been chasing them up to
the valley reach the bags.
Guard 1: do you know what's in here
Guard 2: you got me
Guard 3: let's take a look
So the gaurds go up to the bags and kick the first one, and Dr. Mario goes
"Meow!" So they go up to the second one with Luigi in it, and they here "WOOF
WOOF" then they go up to the third one with the CPU Kirby in it, and kick it.
and they hear ".......................POTATOES!"
coolasice
-A CPU Kirby finishes a jigsaw puzzle just as Link comes over. Kirby says,
"Hey, Link! I finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says 2 to 3
years!"
starwatcher
-CPU Kirby is so dumb he studied for an blood test
..is dumb he thought he had a twin brother when he looked in the mirror...he
looked in the mirror and said: "AHHH! He keeps staring at me!"
He's so stupid he was in a staring contest with a volley ball and won...
he's so stupid he thought Jigglypuff was his mother
he's so stupid, when he wanted to commit suicde, he jumped out of the basement
so stupid that he got drunk from water
*******
*During a fight with Link*
Both are standing at the edge*
CPU Kirby: HIIII!
Link: LOOK! *poins behind CPU K.* ELVIS!
CPU K.: Where?! *turns around*
Link: *pushes CPU K. off of edge*
CPU K.: *While falling* IIIIII STTIIIIIILLLLL DOOOOOON'TT SEEEEEEEE HIIIIIIM!
EEEEEEELVVIIIIIISSSS?! *bang*
*****
What's 5 miles long and has the IQ of 0? A parade of CPU K's
How many CPU K's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A #1: Two, one to keep the other from swallowing it.
GeNji KiD-
Note: whenever I say "Kirby," I mean a CPU Kirby. I'll mention if it's a
smart Kirby or not.
Some of these jokes are rated-R.
Q: What do you call a Kirby with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do Kirby's braincells die?
A1: Alone.
A2: Kirby's have braincells?
Q: What do you call a Kirby with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: How do you brainwash a Kirby?
A: Give it a douche and shake it upside down.
Q: Why do Kirby's wash their hair in the sink? (if they had hair)
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why is it good to have Kirby as a passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: How do you make a Kirby's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in its ear.
Q: How do you get a Kirby's eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in its ears.
Q: Why should Kirbys not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q1: How can you tell if a Kirby's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another Kirby's been using that computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: Why don't Kirbys eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages.
Q: Why don't Kirbys eat bananas?
A1: They can't find the zipper.
A2: They can't find the pull tab.
Q: How did the Kirby die ice fishing?
A: He was run over by the zambonis machine.
Q: What's a Jigglypuff's mating call?
A: Has that Kirby gone yet?
A2: When is that Kirby b*tch going to leave!?
A3: "All the Kirbys have gone home!"
Q: Why do Kirbys drive BMWs?
A1: Because they can spell it.
A2: Kirbys can drive?
Q: Why do Kirbys like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect
in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: Why do Kirbys have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do you call a Jigglypuff with a Kirby on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a Kirby between two Jigglypuffs?
A: A mental block.
Q: What is it called when a Kirby blows in another Kirby's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why do Kirbys have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.
Q: How many Kirbys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. It holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: Why are there no dumb CPU Jigglypuffs?
A: Peroxide.
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide Kirbys?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
Q: What do you call 10 Kirbys standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call 15 Kirbys in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a CPU Kirby, and a smart Kirby are walking
down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A1: The CPU Kirby, because there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth
fairy, or a smart Kirby.
A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a
smart Kirby and the CPU Kirby thought it was a gum wrapper.
Q: Why did the Kirby scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you do when a Kirby throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: If a Kirby and a Jigglypuff are tossed off a building, who hits the ground
first?
A: Jigglypuff. Kirby has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a Kirby gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Its IQ goes up!
Q: What is the difference between a smart Kirby and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What does a Kirby and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: How do you drown a Kirby?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How many Kirbys does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
A3: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
Q: What's the Kirby's cheer?
A: "I'm Kirby, I'm Kirby, I'm K.E.R.B.I....ah, oh well..I'm Kirby, I'm Kirby,
yea yea yea..."
Q: What do you get when you offer a Kirby a penny for its thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: Why does a Kirby only change its baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: How did the Kirby try to kill the bird?
A: It threw the bird off a cliff.
Q: How does a Kirby kill a fish?
A: He drowns it.
Q: Why did the Kirby get so excited after she finished its jigsaw puzzle in
only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How does a Kirby high-5?
A: He smacks himself in the forehead.
Q: How do you amuse a Kirby for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why do Kirbys always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Q: What did the Kirby say when he looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the Kirby name his pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Kirby's head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What do you see when you look into a Kirby's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: Why do Kirbys drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Q: How do you make a Kirby laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q1: Why did Nintendo create Pichus?
A: To bring beer from the fridge.
Q2: Why did Nintendo create Kirbys?
A: Because Pichus were too small to bring beer from the fridge.
Q3: Why did Nintendo create Jigglypuffs?
A: Neither could the Kirbys.
Q: How did the Kirby break its leg raking leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
Q: Why do Kirbys have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work
or coming home.
Q: Why are CPU Kirby jokes so short?
A1: So Jigglypuffs can remember them.
A2: Because Kirbys are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3: So others can understand them.
Q: What do you call a smart Kirby?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: A labrador.
Q: Why are Kirbys hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: What does a 'quarterback' mean to a Kirby?
A: A refund.
Q: What do you call a Kirby with Jigglypuff's power?
A: Artificial Intelligence.
Q: What do you call a Kirby with Bowser's power?
A: That's not even possible!
Q: What do you do to a Kirby driving down your street?
A: Sit in your yard and point a hair dryer at him to see if they slow down.
Q: What is the last thing a Kirby says at a drive-thru?
A: To go.
Marth and Roy were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.
"Roy," asked Marth, "Are there any Jews in China?"
"I don't know," Roy replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"
When the waiter, Kirby, came by, Roy asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," Kirby replied, and he went into the
kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Roy asked.
"I will check again, sir," Kirby replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Marth said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in
China. Our people are scattered everywhere."
When Kirby returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."
"Are you really sure?" Roy asked again. "I cannot believe there are no
Chinese Jews."
"Sir, I ask everyone," Kirby replied exasperated. "We have Orange
Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews!
Mario, Luigi, and Kirby all work for the same construction company.
At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to Mario, "You're
in charge of the cement."
Then he said to Luigi, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to Kirby, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your
work. It better be good or you're fired."
So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He
looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to Mario.
Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to Luigi.
Then he couldn't find Kirby so he asks, "Where the heck is Kirby??"
All of a sudden, Kirby jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt
and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
Mario, Luigi, and Kirby are all in the same ESL class. The teacher told
them to make a sentence using the word 'hostess' for homework.
The next day Luigi goes "Oh I have a good sentence. The hostess was very
courteous." And the teacher said "Wow that was really good!"
Mario goes, "Oh I have a better sentence. My mother is a good hostess when
others come over." Then the teacher said, "Wow that was really good!"
Finally Kirby goes, "I have the best sentence. When my mother answers the
phone, she says hostess?"
There is this good ol' barber in some city in the US. One day Fox goes
to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a
community service." Fox is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when
the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his door.
Falco goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and the barber
replies: "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community
service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the
barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts
waiting at his door.
Kirby goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and barber
replies; "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community
service." The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what
he finds there - a dozen Kirbys waiting for a free haircut...
Time for a trip to Kirby Grammar 101
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Use SINIGANG in a sentence.
"You see that boy there, you stay away from him. He SINIGANG!
Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
*Ring, ring*.....Hello? Who SCHOOLING?
Use UNO, DOSE, TRES in a sentence.
UNO! DOSE TRES are on fire!!!
Use PENIS in a sentence.
I have to PENIS my homework first.
Use CHICKEN NUT BREAD in a sentence.
Stop choking your sister! CHICKEN NUT BREAD! (she cannot breathe)
Use MASTURBATION in a sentence.
In third-world countries where food is scarce, there is MASTURBATION. (mass
starvation)
Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to The Athlete's Foot yesterday to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.
Use CONTEMPLATE in a sentence.
I went to a party last night. There was so much food pero co-CONTEMPLATE.
(???)
Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT, and DETAIL in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE but DETAIL landed before DEFEAT.
Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
I think DEPOSIT is leaking.
Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
Mario and Peach got married on June 1, 1992. So on June 1, 1993, they are
going to celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary.
Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION every morning.
Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in one sentence.
At the gasoline station, I asked the attendant, "Do I PAMPERS or do I
PAPERS?" (pump first, pay first)
Use DIFFERENCE and DIFFERENCES in one sentence.
If the royal family has a baby boy, he is called DIFFERENCE; if they have a
baby girl, she is called DIFFERENCES.
Use PROTESTANT in a sentence.
Apples, oranges, and other fruits can be bought at the PROTESTANT. (???)
Use ANALYZE and ANATOMY in one sentence.
My ANA-LYZE over the ocean so bring back my ANA-TO-MY.
Use IRAQ, IRAN and EGYPT in one sentence.
I-RAQ is bigger than a stone; I-RAN is faster than a walk; and E-GYPT is
smaller than a truck.
Use INDAY in a sentence.
(In your best Whitney Houston voice): INDAAAAAAAAAAY will always love you...
ooooooo.
Use DINUGUAN in a sentence.
I tried turning on the TV but no matter how many times I tried, it DINUGUAN.
(didn't go on)
Use PAUL five times in a sentence.
PAUL, be carePAUL; you might PAUL in the swimming PAUL and make a PAUL of
yourself.
Use CUISINE in a sentence.
I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a surprise
CUISINE Math.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kirby Pick-Up Lines And Jigglypuff Comebacks
K: "Haven't we met before?"
J: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
K: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
J: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
K: "Is this seat empty?"
J: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
K: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
J: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
K: "Your place or mine?"
J: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
K: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
J: "It's in the phone book."
K: "But I don't know your name."
J: "That's in the phone book too."
K: "So, what do you do for a living?"
J: "I'm a female impersonator."
K: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
J: "Do not Enter."
K: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
J: "Unfertilized!"
K: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
J: "Yeah! Let's go pick up some chics."
K: "I know how to please a woman."
J: "Then please leave me alone."
K: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
J: "Yeah, but if I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
K: "I want to give myself to you."
J: "Sorry, I don't acccept cheap gifts."
K: "Your body is like a temple."
J: "Sorry, there are no services today."
K: "I'd go through anything for you."
J: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
K: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
J: "Yes, but would stay there?"
Fire Link says: Now thats a true CPU Kirby joker!
Perfect Agent-
-CPU Kirby is so stupid, he doesn't even know he's stupid!
-CPU Kirby is so stupid, he fills himself with gas, then sucks up a Bowser and
does his special move.
-In the middle of winter, CPU Kirby was about to drive Bowser to the airport;
Bowser needed to fly to Redmond for an SSBM press conference along with
Ganondorf, Mewtwo, and Giga Bowser. Kirby tries to start up his car, but he
was stupid and forgot to buy antifreeze, so his fuel is frozen.
Kirby asks Bowser, "Can I suck you up and use your special move on the
fuel? I think it's frozen."
-CPU Kirby is so stupid, he really tries to dig a hole to China at night
because he wants to know what they're eating for breakfast.
venusy2-
-CPU Kirby, Bowser and DK are at a party. Suddenly Peach comes running out,
"I forgot to hire a chef! I've cooked the food, but I can't cut it!" Mr.
Moron(CPU Kirby) says "I'll cut it!" and promtly uses Final Cutter.
The Final cutter heads for Bowser and DK.SLASH! One of Bowser's spikes had
gone.SHAVE! DK has no fur left."Er,I'm Sorry?" says Mr. Moron.I won't tell
you what happened next, except Bowser and DK dined on BBQ de CPU Kirby.
RedRapien-
-CPU Kirby is so dumb, he did his taunt on a leaving Ar-Wing
-Once, a CPU Kirby was doing the 15-minute melee, and said," why can't they
shorten the 15-minute melee to 5 minutes?"
fjmccloud-
-CPU Kirby is so dumb, when he fell off a cliff, he had to stop and ask for
directions!
-CPU Kirby is so dumb, he tripped over a cordless phone.
CactusMan002
-Why Doesn't CPU Kirby Like Legos? Because they keep forgetting to put the
glue in the box.
=-=-=-=-=-=
21.Credits
=-=-=-=-=-=
Fire Link- Me! For wasting 8 hours of my time typing all of this..
CJayC- Making GameFAQs, the greatest site for gaming in the world!
Mario 64 Master- Home Run Contest stategy!
CPU Kirbys- For being so stupid!
Nintendo- Making this game!
Bowser- Being Bowser!
XGiga BowserX- Fire breath team stategy!
Dj Link- Bowser combos!
SAHMSue- Hammer stategy!
GeNji KiD- Like 4 billion CPU Kirby Jokes!
WEBSPIDER1408- Jigglypuff human tip.
CPU Kirby Jokers-
------------------
starwatcher
coolasice
Tapion013
cRiSpYkRiSpZ
Beat Box
miraclematter
PatrickSays
Quixim
LeGoLaS0
Motrunks
zoom882
the last crusader
V Faction
Paliosun
Turtleboy00
Time2Play
Fantusta
GamecubeGuru
KujaKiller11
PikaNerd
Nic64
Keikos Husband
Perfect Agent
venusy2
RedRapien
fjmccloud
CactusMan002
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
22.Legal Stuff
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
If you are using my FAQ i know who you are. If you really want to use my
FAQ on your page, email me first at
[email protected] and make sure
you give me your site adress. Ill talk to you from there.
If i see you using this FAQ without my permission, you can
easily get into the biggest trouble youve ever gotten into in your life.
And youll regret it. Seriously.
Copyright 2002 Fire Link. All rights reserved.
