Citizens of Earth Equipment Guide (PC Version)

by mangobunny ([email protected])

***WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS***
This guide contains some spoilers about recruitable characters and some story
spoilers. If you don't want any spoilers, stop reading now.

********UPDATED FEBRUARY 9, 2015**********
Added three missing pieces of equipment


I. What's in this guide
II. What's not in this guide
III. Buying Equipment
IV. Missable Equipment
V. Equipment List


I. What's in this guide?
As of the patch (pc version) on Feb 9th, all of the pieces of equipment are
now included in the guide. My suspicion about the last piece for the Farmer,
the Plumber, and the Alien being replaced by duplicates of other equipment was
correct and the latest patch has corrected that.

II. What's not in this guide?
I haven't gone into too much detail in the location for most items. Most are
easy to find, especially on maps that have a big yellow dot showing you where
the treasure is. The Malware is probably the hardest to find, I lucked out on
my first play through and then wasted a bit of time on my second trying to
figure out how I'd got it.

III. Buying Equipment
There are six recruitable characters that sell you equipment, Brother, the
Barista, the Baker, the Sushi Chef, the Bartender, and the Pharmacist. In each
case the character must have max talent level before the equipment is available
for purchase and the equipment can only be purchased from the character at
their store, except for Brother who you can use his talent to order from
anywhere. All the equipment bought from your characters is $1500 with the
exception of the Weedkiller for the Farmer which is $250. There is one other
piece of equipment that can be purchased. You can buy the Loaded Dice for the
Gambler from the Casino for $10000

IV. Missable Equipment
Not all boss and wanted posters drops are 100% and if they can summon you might
get the drop for the summoned enemy instead. For example, the Queasy Bee can
summon Bubblebees and you might get the Bubblebee to drop bubbles instead of
Expired Meds from the Queasy Bee. In most cases this isn't a problem because
you can fight them in the VR Arena until you get their drop (last play through
I had to do that with Queasy Bee, Cookie Colossus, and Mega Mole). However this
is a problem with the second battle against the Opposition Leader and getting
the Vice Grips for the Plumber. The Opposition Leader summons Protestors who
can drop Donut Pieces or you might not get any drop at all and you can't fight
this version of the Opposition Leader in the VR Arena, you can only fight the
version from the first battle. The only way to ensure you will get the Vice
Grips is to save your game as soon as you've won five hands of poker and reload
if they don't drop after the battle. As far as I can tell the Vice Grips are
the only missable equipment although I'd suggest saving before fighting the
Alien Commander as she isn't in the VR Arena either. The Alien Mothership is
accessible post game, you just have to go back through the crashed Moonbucks.

V. Equipment List
The format is as follows:
Character Name
1. Equipment name - Equipment location
+ Positive effect
- Negative effect (if any)

Brother
1. Bowling Shoes - below Moonbucks, second area, left of the Special Blend
                  dispensing Decaffitator
+ Attack twice each round
- Attack & SP-Attack reduced
2. Chess Ribbon - dropped by Opposition Leader
+ Upon critical hit: defense up x 3
- none
3. Letterman Jacket - order from Brother/FedUps
+ Defense increased. Upon being hit: chance to draw aggro
- Attack & SP-Attack reduced

Mother
1. Crossword Puzzle - third area beneath Moonbucks. Up and to the right of the
                     teleporter
+ Upon critical hit: causes distract on target
- none
2. Heirloom Pin - dropped by Honey Bear
+ chance to cause attack down on hit
- none
3. Luxury Handbag - order from Brother/FedUps
+ Max energy +2
- none

Conspiracy Guy
1. Dayvision Goggles - in the cell in the police station
+Attack & SP-Attack doubled
- Permanently confused
2. Police Scanner - dropped by Seat of Power
+ Upon critical hit: chance to confuse all enemies
- none
3. Tinfoil Hat - order from Brother/FedUps
+ Chance to cause confuse when attacking
- none

Baker
1. Oven Mitts - south west corner of Mt. Pom-Pom.
+ Attack type converted to thermal
- none
2. Cookie Cutters - dropped by Moody Foody
+ Upon critical hit: restores HP to all party members
- none
3. Brulee Torch - buy from Baker
+ SP-Attack increased
- Defense reduced

Barista
1. Apron - western point of the raised area in Crystal Beach
+ Gain one energy unit each round
- none
2. Travel Mug - dropped by Mr. Mocha
+ Upon critical hit: each party member gains one energy unit
- none
3. Froth Machine - buy from Barista
+ Upon receiving verbal attack: restores HP
- none

Bodybuilder
1. Jump Rope - upstairs in the fire station
+ Damage output doubled
- All attacks cause recoil damage
2. Protein Shaker - dropped by Macho Mosquito
+ Attack & SP-Attack doubled
- Lose one energy unit each round
3. Kettlebell - Casino Canyon, west side of the river in the south. Need
               Bodybuilder max talent level
+ Critical hits cause massive damage
- Critical hit rate reduced

Handyman
1. Lady Leadpipe - South part of Hometown. Need Architect talent level two
+ Attack doubled
- Defense halved
2. Auntie Hacksaw - dropped by Tiny Tank
+ Upon critical hit: target's defense reduced
- none
3. Senor Sledgehammer - Upstairs in Executive Retreat main building. Need
                       Handyman max talent level
+ Attack doubled
- Lose one energy unit each round

Cop
1. Bulletproof Vest - Hometown, in the Hydro Plant
+ Defense Doubled
- Agility & accuracy reduced
2. Riot Shield - dropped by Dunesday Device
+ Upon critical hit: party's defense increases
- none
3. Lie Detector - order from Brother/FedUps
+ Upon receiving muscle attack: restores HP
- none

Gardener
1. Fertilizer - in the building at Hedge Maze entrance
+ Upon critical hit: all party members gain regen
- none
2. Bag of Mulch - dropped by Living Leaves
+ Attack type converted to muscle
- none
3. Giga Grow - in the south west corner of the south east section of the
              Wellspring Desert. Enter from south west section. Need
              Gardener max talent level
+ Gain regen
- none

Architect
1. Tape Measure - behind house in north west corner of Grasslands
+ Always act first each round
- none
2. Slide Rule - dropped by Crazy Clubber
+ Always act last each round
- none
3. Protractor - Whisperwood, west side
+ Upon critical hit: target's SP-Defense reduced
- none

Lifeguard
1. Whistle - Capitol Building behind broken door. Need Handyman max talent
            level
+ SP-Attack doubled
- Attack reduced by three-quarters
2. Sunblock - dropped by Anchory Bird
+ Defense doubled
- Permanently blind
3. Rubber Ducky - Timber Lake
+ Upon all KO'ed: chance to keep target alive at 1 HP
- none

School Mascot
1. Foam Finger - Enter the school and go to the end of the hallway on the left.
                It is hidden in the lower corner.
+ Upon critical hit: each party member gains one energy unit
- none
2. Megaphone - dropped by Shadow Monster
+ Chance to cause confusion when attacking
- none
3. Gorilla Suit - order from Brother/FedUps
+ Attack type converted to static
- none

Camp Counsellor
1. Swimming Badge - Flushmoor, Flooded Building, second floor, south west
                   corner
+ Attack type converted to hydro
- none
2. Fitness Badge - dropped by Frantic Fisherman
+ Agility doubled
- none
3. Leadership Badge - Reward for completing Gossip Girls quest. In Camp Koo-Koo
                     north east section, correctly answer the questions of the
                     camper who won't come out of their tent. The answers are:
                     Rebecca, a rose, yesterday, Jennifer and Kayla
+ Upon critical hit: each party member's next action is twice as powerful
- none

Sushi Chef
1. Miso Soup - Panjama Jungle, west side
+ Attack converted to bio
- none
2. Soy Sauce - dropped by Madam Clam
+ On miss, Pufferfish's KO effect targets a random party member instead
- none (although the positive sounds negative to me)
3. Green Tea - buy from Sushi Chef
+ Chance to cause sickness when attacking
- none

Teacher
1. Metal Ruler - in the Warehouse in the north part of Capital City
+ Attack increased
- Hits may increase target's attack
2. Calculator - dropped by Motor Turtle
+ Gains one energy unit each round
- Attack & SP-Attack reduced by three-quarters
3. World Atlas - north east corner of south east section of Sugarflats. Need
                Gardener talent level two
+ Upon critical hit: bonus exp to random party member
- none

Photographer
1. Telescopic Lens - Hedge Maze. Exit the main maze part to the south. Lens is
                    in south west corner
+ SP-Attack tripled
- Defense reduced by three-quarters
2. Photo Journal - dropped by Green-ish Goblin
+ Dodge quadrupled
- Defense halved
3. Camera Flash - Island in north east area of Camp Koo-Koo. Need Captain and
                 Ogopogo
+ Upon using duplicate: SP-Attack greatly increased
- none

Car Salesman
1. Snazzy Suit - east area of Capital City on the beach
+ Attack & SP-Attack doubled
- Lose one energy unit each round
2. Car Freshener - dropped by Speedy Snail
+ Upon critical hit: allies gain energy when damaged
- none
3. Flashy Jewelry - reward for completing Dirty Politics quest. Find
                   incriminating evidence in Capitol Building, take to
                   protestor in Hometown
+ Chance to cause blind when attacking
- none

Homeless Guy
1. New-ish Shoes - north west corner of Junkyard
+ Accuracy vastly increased
- Attack & SP-Attack reduced
2. Can o' Beans - reward for completing not-so-special delivery quest. Deliver
                 coffee to four agents in Capital City.
+ Attack & SP-Attack doubled
- Permanently sick
3. Glad Rags - dumpster outside casino. Need Homeless Guy max talent level and
              Gardener
+ Upon KO: chance to stay alive at 1 HP
- none

Gambler
1. Lucky Horseshoe - Alien Mothership, in the area that contains patches of
                    other areas from the game
+ Attack doubled
- Defense halved
2. Flaming Dice - dropped by Cardshark
+ Accuracy doubled
- Permanently burning
3. Loaded Dice - buy from Cardshark in green room in casion for $10000
+ Attack increased
- On critical hit: Your HP reduced to 0

Pharmacist
1. Ointment - Capitol Building, enter through side entrance, take south west
             stairs
+ Upon critical hit: removes party's status ailments
- none
2. Expired Meds - dropped by Queasy Bee
+ Chance to cause sickness when attacking
- none
3. Antibiotic - buy from Pharmacist
+ Upon receiving bio attack: restores HP
- none

Programmer
1. Bonus Ram - Flushmoor, just west of the path to Crystal Beach
+ Attack & SP-Attack doubled
- Permanently distracted
2. Potato Chips - buy from Bartender
+ Upon critical hit: chance to cause stop on target
- none
3. Malware - found in the internet. Enter the yellow area then take the path
            on the far right then on the far left then on the left again
+ chance to cause sickness when attacking
- none

Captain
1. Spyglass - upstairs in Panjama hotel
+ Accuracy vastly increased
- Lose one energy unit each round
2. Toy Pistol - dropped by Deep Sea Manager
+ Attack type converted to static
- none
3. Mini-anchor - buy from Sushi Chef
+ Upon receiving hydro attack: restores HP
- none

Musician
1. Electric Amp - Wellspring Desert north section. Need Bodybuilder talent
                 level two
+ Attack type converted to static
- none
2. Tuning Fork - dropped by DJ Voodoo
+ gain one energy unit each round
- permanently distracted
3. Gold Record - buy from Barista
+ Multi-round songs have a chance to continue
- none

Yoga Instructor
1. Yoga Mat - crashed Moonbucks
+ Upon critical hit: party's attack increases
-
2. Balance Ball - dropped by Jolly Jogger
+ Upon critical hit: party's SP-Attack increased
- none
3. Leg Warmers - reward for completing Duck's Tale quest. Get the quest from
                Anchory Bird in Crystal Beach, find the missing duckling in
                Hometown south section
+ Poses affect a random party member
- none

Cat Lady
1. Kitty Carrier - far south in Whisperwood
+ Upon critical hit: gain one kitty
- none
2. Litter Box - dropped by Catctus
+ Cause sickness when attacking
- Permanently sick
3. Scratching Post - reward for completing On Goldie's Pond quest. Get quest
                    from Hippie Girl south of the main Sugarflats camp
+ Upon taking damage: chance to negate attack and lose one kitty (chance
 increases with more kitties)
- none

Psychologist
1. Security Blanket - top floor of Capital City hotel
+ Attack & SP-Attack greatly increased
- Permanently asleep
2. Ink Blots - dropped by The Jester
+ Chance to cause confuse when attacking
- Attack & SP-Attack halved
3. Pocket Watch - Dream Gallery, hidden behind the right pillar in the middle
+ Chance to cause sleep when attacking
- Defense & SP-Defense halved

Artist
1. Tie-dye Kit - Seabottom south section
+ Upon gaining a status effect: gain one energy unit
- none
2. Calligraphy Brush - dropped by Guru
+ Attack type converted to hydro
- none
3. Glitter Paint - buy from Baker
+ Upon critical hit: removes party's status ailments
- none

Exterminator
1. Bug Spray - cave in south west section of Sugarflats
+ Chance to cause sickness when attacking
- Permanently sick
2. Flyswatter - dropped by Bloaty Toad
+ Upon critical hit: causes sleep, confuse, or sickness
- none
3. Gas Mask - to the west in the main part of Hedge Maze, need Gardener
+ Attack & SP-Attack increased per each sickness debuff
- none

Pilot
1. Bomber Jacket - Capitol Building. Use side entrance, behind Tankenstein
+ Max energy +1
- none
2. Parachute - dropped by Bad News Buzzard
+ Attack & SP-Attack increased
- May take longer to refill
3. Grease - Sugarflats, enter using Pilot talent. Need Pilot talent level two
+ Chance to cause blind when attacking
- none

Scientist
1. Mystery Vial - raised are of Big Steppe, enter via south east corner of
                 Appleton Farms
+ Gain regen
- Chance to give regen when attacking
2. Bionic Arm - dropped by Cookie Colossus
+ Attack type converted to muscle
- none
3. Tesla Coil - in Whisperwood graveyard behind east moon gate
+ Targets you revive gain attack boost
- none

Weather Lady
1. Umbrella - Casino Canyon, west side towards the north, between two tents
+ Weather will not revert in battle
- none
2. Red Hat - dropped by Toastergeist
+ All stats increased
- Weather reverts more quickly
3. Lightning Rod - order from Brother/FedUps
+ Upon critical hit: fully restores energy
- none

Alien
1. Hyper Gloves - prison area of Alien Mothership
+ Gain regen
- Defense & SP-Defense reduced
2. Moon Shoes - dropped by Alien Commander
+ Upon critical hit: restores HP
- none
3. Eclipse Bracer - beside the crashed ship in Mt. Pom-Pom
+ Attack & SP-Defense doubled
- Lose one energy unit each round

Secretary
1. Trusty Stapler - Alien Mothership, take teleporter just south east of the
                   patch that looks like Whisperwood. Anti-gravity must be
                   activated
+ Attack & SP-Attack doubled
- Lose one energy unit each round
2. Document Shredder - dropped by Mishmasher
+ Upon receiving static attack: restores HP
- none
3. Rubberband Ball - dropped by final boss
+ Critical hits cause massive damage
- Upon critical hit: KO an ally

Superfan
1. Cute Plushy - the Drive-In
+ All stats increased
- Lose one energy unit per round
2. Convention Pass - dropped by Mr. Maze
+ Max energy +1
- Permanently sick
3. Wonder Cape - reward for completing Nectar Collector quest. Get quest from
                Hay Hog in Grasslands
+ Attack twice each round
- Defense & SP-Defense halved

Farmer
1. Watering Can - Forbidden Highway, west tunnel in east room
+ Plants grow twice as quickly
- Plants are half as effective
2. Weedkiller - Buy from Pharmacist
+ Plants are twice as effective
- Plants grow half as quickly
3. Dowsing - northwest corner of Big Steppe, need the Gardener
+ Upon critical hit: Water all plants
- none

Plumber
1. Blow Torch - south east section of Sugarflats, west of Guru's cave
+ Attack type converted to thermal
- none
2. Vice Grips (missable) - dropped by Opposition Leader, second battle
+ Chance to cause distract when attacking
- none
3. Caulk Gun - Casino Canyon, west side of the river, towards the south
+ Upon critical hit: causes stop on target
- none

Firefighter
1. Smoke Bomb - Cookie Factory in Camp Koo-Koo, take right conveyor belt
+ Chance to cause burn when attacking
- none
2. Flame Suit - dropped by Fearcrow
+ Attack & SP-Attack doubled
- Permanently burning
3. Pressure Hose - Reward for completing A-Not-So-Secret Report quest. Get
                  quest from Oh-so-suntanned service agent in Panjama
+ Upon receiving thermal attack: restores HP
- none

Bartender
1. Hot Sauce - house in back of Executive Retreat
+ Upon critical hit: removes party's status ailments
- none
2. Pickle Jar - dropped by Tentacle
+ Attack type converted to bio
- none
3. Neverending Jerky - buy from Bartender
+ Chance to ignore delayed side effects
- Lose one energy unit each round

Beekeeper
1. Bee Net - in north west section of Camp Koo-Koo, above the Porta Potty
+ Gain one energy unit each round
- Attack & SP-Defense greatly reduced
2. Yellow Jacket - dropped by Mega Mole
+ Upon critical hit: damages all enemies
- none
3. Honeycomb - reward for completing A Grizzly Craving quest. Get quest from
              Honey Bear in Mt. Pom-Pom
+ Chance to cause sickness when attacking
- none

Photon
1. Radar Array - Alien Mothership, large area left of where you can see Earth
+ Agility doubled
- Dodge reduced
2. Rocket Fuel - dropped by Virus
+ Attack twice each round
- Lose one energy unit each round
3. Prism - dropped by Alien Underling
+ Upon critical Hit: Causes blind on all enemies
- none

Copyright Andrew Ross 2015 All rights reserved
If you want to use any of this guide just ask, I'll probably say yes as long as
you credit me. And if you see any mistakes, let me know.

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