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Visual Impairment Forum
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Return to: I am visually impaired
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#Post#: 25--------------------------------------------------
My Vision Story
By: Cass Date: October 18, 2013, 12:47 am
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My name is Cassandra and I have been visually impaired my entire
life and slowly it has been getting worse.
I was born with only one eye, my left, and it is very weak; I
have a small vision field (about a fourth of a normal person�s)
severe light sensitivity (I can�t see at all if there�s not
enough light and bright light hurts my eye), no depth at all,
and I can�t read without a magnifier. Even with my glasses my
vision is blurred and I can't see anything that is about twenty
feet way. My whole life friends and family have tried to enplane
"3D" to me and I still don't understand it. I get that thing
occupy a three-dimensional space but all I can see is flat. I
still can't wrap my head around what seeing with two eye must be
like
I only recently started using a cane (about a year ago) because
I thought I didn't need one, only now do I realize I probably
should have been using one my whole life. Now however I feel
weird using it, even though it helps a lot, I just don�t feel
justified in having one. There are so many people out there with
worse vision than mine but it helps me so I don�t understand why
I hate using it so much. Sometimes I let this get to me and I
don�t use my cane and I walk into things and fall off of things
and trip over things�you get the point. I don�t resent my vision
at all, it�s a huge part of me and who I am, I wouldn't change
it if I had the chance. The hardest part is feeling like I don�t
belong; blind individuals see me as sighted and sighted
individuals see me as blind, I feel like I�m stuck in the
middle. I feel like there are two sides and neither one wants
me.
I have been looking for a forum like this for the longest time
to help me find others who will truly understand me and my
disABILITY. I'm so glad I have found this place!
#Post#: 27--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: googily_eyes Date: October 18, 2013, 4:20 pm
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I often felt like I was the only one "in between" too. And I
really love how you highlighted "ability"!
Thank you for your story & kind words about this place :-)
Hope you have a great weekend!
#Post#: 31--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: Mathieu Date: October 20, 2013, 9:24 am
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I am in this category also. I see too well to be categorized as
blind, but too badly to count as sighted. I can make eye
contact, at least at short range, and apparently don't "look
blind, " as people keep telling me. Most of the time people just
think that I am really clumsy, as I frequently trip on things
and knock over stuff. I have a job that requires a huge amount
of reading, and making presentations; I can discern print only
if magnified, and then in extremely small doses, a couple of
words or a phrase at most. So I use JAWS. In one sense, it is a
life-savor, in another, though, it is awkward to use in meetings
and colloquia. I also sometimes use a Victor Stream. People
frequently become impatient, however, and put out, if I have to
search for something.
#Post#: 33--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: Cass Date: October 22, 2013, 12:57 am
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I get that a lot too, people saying I don't "look blind" and
because of that people don't take me seriously when I tell them
I can't see very well.
#Post#: 34--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: Mathieu Date: October 22, 2013, 2:24 pm
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I think you are right, also, about the issues this raises about
one's self-conception. I can't really identify with those who
are sighted; I really have a visual impairment that adversely
affects my life. I can't do many of the things they do. Nor,
however, can I really identify with those who are blind. I have
a few friends who are blind, and who rely on me as a guide. I
don't do this very well, though, and I have inadvertently walked
them into walls and posts. Neither group wants to claim me
either; each sees me as "other." It is an odd situation to be
in.
#Post#: 42--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: Cass Date: October 29, 2013, 1:47 am
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It really is an odd situation, but I do feel a lot better
knowing there are others who feel the same. I find it very
comforting.
#Post#: 44--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: Mathieu Date: October 30, 2013, 6:56 pm
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I do feel frequently like a person without a country. It has
occurred to me, though, that in a strange and roundabout way,
there is some advantage to be found in this situation.
Individuals who identify closely with one particular group or
another, I think, are at times in danger of having their
identities subsumed under that of the group. If one is "the odd
person out" as I have often felt, he or she is at least in a
position to view things more objectively, to have a perspective
more independent of the group identity than that of somebody
more intimately allied with one community or the other. What do
you think? Does this make sense?
#Post#: 45--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: googily_eyes Date: November 2, 2013, 11:56 am
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Yeah, I totally get that. I can "pass" in many different
groups, and sometimes it is very nice because I can step back
and really try to understand what it means belonging to a
certain group. I know for a fact that if I had been born with
normal sight and normal eyes, I would take vision for granted.
However, in a way, I am grateful for my challenges because I can
also align with those with disabilities of all kinds and have a
greater sense of empathy. On the other hand, it's
like...sometimes I feel I don't have a "home." But I think once
I'm married to someone who accepts all of me, I will finally
have one. A supportive community does also give me a sense of a
temporary home though :-)
#Post#: 47--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: Cass Date: November 5, 2013, 12:51 am
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It does make sense and I have often thought that myself
actually. I totally agree that those who are the odd ones out
are more capable of seeing things objectively as an individual
instead of in a group mind. It is always nice though to find at
least one other person you could relate to.
#Post#: 48--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Vision Story
By: FFLP Date: November 5, 2013, 9:26 am
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Hello, my name is Javier and i�m from Spain, i started with
visi�n problems at 20 years old, now i�m 43 and i have 23
diopters of myopia and -1 of astigmatism, i�m worried about my
visi�n are going worst. I wear contacts fulltime.
Sorry for my bad english languague.
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