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#Post#: 5597--------------------------------------------------
Fight 06 Jennifer Lopez vs Kim Kardashian
By: BadAssBunnies Date: July 18, 2024, 1:06 am
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[font=times new roman]Match 06[/font]
[font=times new roman]J[/font][font=times new roman]ennifer Jlo
Lopez � Strikeforce vs Kim Kardashian � Hellfire Girls
Club[/font]
[font=times new roman]Pre-Fight Weigh-in:[/font]
https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53868526031_16ff453322_b.jpg
[font=times new roman]Joe Rogan: Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to
the 6[sup]th[/sup] fight in the inaugural Baby Oil Brawl.
Tonight, two of the biggest names in entertainment will strip
down to the bare essentials, coat themselves in baby oil and
wrestle to see who it the top icon.[/font]
[font=times new roman]The challenger, Jennifer Lopez makes her
way to the scales and the crowd jumps to their feet. JLO removes
her hoodie, rolls off her sweatpants and stands in front of the
scales in a sheer lacy black bra and matching lace panties. She
steps on the scales and weight in at 139 lbs. Jennifer smiles at
Joe then flexes her muscles and shows off her impressive biceps.
She tilts her head to the left, plants a kiss on her left bicep
then turns to the right and does the same.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer walks over, gives Joe a hug
making sure to press her voluptuous body up tight then gives him
a kiss on the cheek. JLO waves to her fans then takes a step
back and waits for her opponent. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim Kardashian, not one to be outdone,
steps towards the scale skirted by two bodybuilders dressed in
loincloths. Kim is wearing a shiny black robe with Queen
embroidered on the back in metallic gold. She steps up to the
scales while the bodybuilders slowly remove her robe. They take
a step back leaving Kim standing alone in the spotlight wearing
a thin red triangle bikini top and a thin string g-string.
[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim looks amazing as her curvaceous body
is toned and trim while her big breasts and round butt glisten
under the lights. She steps on the scale and weighs in at a
svelte 134 lbs. Km waits for the crowd to die down then takes a
step towards JLO. The two lock eyes then inch closer until the
breasts are almost touching. Neither is willing to back down as
they glare daggers as the mumble under their breaths ans spit
insults. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim bends at the hip, ducks to her side
then straightens up launching her heaving breasts into Jennifer
the impact from the massive hit sends Jennifer's racks slapping
into her face with a loud smack. Jennifer, stunned by Kim's
calculated move stumbles back and is lucking caught by Joe
before she ends up on her ass. Security intervenes and both
nearly naked women are sent to their seats up on stage. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe Rogan takes his position at the podium
and start the interview with the challenger.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Jennifer, do you mind if I call you
JLO?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer: Whatever floats you boat,
Joseph. Or do I call you JRO?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Joe is fine. OK, So what made you
decide to challenge Kim?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer: Well, this might take awhile but
let me summarize. Kim is a social media icon, she has her law
degree and fight for the wrongly accused. She give money to a
number of worthy charity, has clothing lines and produces shows
and movies.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe interrupts.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: That sounds like a lot of accolades.
[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer: I'm getting to it if you shut
up. Kim does a lot of good but . . . There is this other side of
her that make me want to puke. She's narcissistic, arrogant,
plastic, selfish, she wears �Queen� on her robe for **** sakes.
Who the hell ever crowned her queen. She came from a privileged
family and has never had to scrap for a living and she thinks
that since she is a founding member of Hellfire that her ****
don't stink. I wouldn't even doubt if she has someone flush her
toilet for her. And lets not forget about Kanye![/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim is in another world barely paying
attention as she flips her hair back and takes a selfie.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: OK, she has been known for some of
those things but Kim is an idol to millions of women.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer: Idol? You call her an idol. She
just the opposite, Joe. Who wants their daughters to grow up and
be her? She got famous for making a **** tape for Christ's
sake![/font]
[font=times new roman]Now Kim starts paying attention.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer: Nobody would know who the hell
she is if her Mother didn't produce a **** of her daughter,
That's the kind of family she lives with. And to top it off, her
first paying job was being a personal assistant to Paris
Hilton. Need I say more?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Oh, you're just being jealous. Get
over it, Jen.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer stands up but Joe steps in front
of her.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Save it for the pit ladies.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer: I grew up in the Bronx and had
to earn everything I have by clawing and scratching my way to
the top. I've got talent unlike Kim who is completely useless as
a human being.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Are you done yet? [/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer: The problem is that when we are
done with this she'll probably gain another 100,000 followers. I
can't wait to beat her ass and show her followers what a real
loser she is.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Ohhhh kay. Your time is up Jen Jen.
[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: What was your reaction when you found
out you were challenged?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: When Kylie told me I was challenged
by Jennifer I thought it was a joke. I swear they told me she
was retired from combat sports like 10 years ago when she was
like 46 I think. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Let's not go there. Jennifer has been
an active member of Strikeforce for a longtime.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Maybe it's been too long. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: You know, when your as famous as me,
everyone wants to see how they stack up. Like little Jen from
the block over there, I don't see her putting up much of a
fight.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: So you're predicting an easy
win?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: I tell you what, I'm not losing to
her. And she has the nerve to mention Kanye. Been Affleck is one
of the biggest losers in Hollywood. And Alex Rodriguez, I heard
he has a bronzed statue of himself in his living room and has
his assistant open and close his toothpaste. Those two are the
real losers.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer is being held back as she reaches
out for Kim but the two are pulled apart and send in opposite
directions.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: It's so hard being me.[/font]
Fight Night:
[font=times new roman]Kim has gone to social media and her fans
have flooded Jennifer's comments with nasty responses. It got so
bad that Jennifer had to close down her accounts. Kim made a
half-hearted plea but her fan refused to let up.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer is first to the pit accompanied
by Ciara and Rihanna. She is dressed in a light lavender bikini
with black trim. She kneels in her corner and slowly cups her
hands in the oil rubbing it around until her tight body is
covered with a thin sheen.[/font]
[font=times new roman]The lights go down then �Highlights� from
Kanye West starts blaring over the PA. Kim walks down the aisle
accompanied by her sisters Courtney and Chloe. She stops to take
some selfies and when an over -eager fan tries to give Kim a
hug, Chloe lifts her off her feet, spins her around and slams
her on the concrete. Kim takes a few more selfies then makes it
to the pit, strips down to her 3 sizes too small silver bikini
then kneels in the pit where her sisters start to oil her up.
Immediately they start bickering as apparently her sisters are
doing it all wrong. After a brief spat Kim decides to finish
getting ready by herself. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Daisy brings them to the middle of the pit
and Kim stands stoically while Jennifer is struggling to keep
her balance. After receiving directions, Kim sticks out her hand
in a friendly gesture but Jennifer slaps it away. Kim turns to
her corner making sure that Courtney caught it on her phone.
[/font]
[font=times new roman]The referee for tonight's bout is Daisy
Fuentes.[/font]
Round 1:
[font=times new roman]Kim comes flying out of her corner and
heads straight for Jennifer. She jumps in the air and launches
herself at a wide eyed Jennifer. Kim sails through the air, her
prone body almost flat to the oily pit as she looks to smash her
body into Jennifer. At the last second, Jennifer ducks as Kim
sails over her head. Kim's body lands with a loud splat then
slides into the rail head first. Kim's body crumples into a ball
as she lies moaning in pain.[/font]
[font=times new roman]A stunned Jennifer takes baby steps until
she is standing over Kim. She rolls her on her back, sits high
on her chest as Daisy slides in. ONE! . . . TWO! . . . THREE!
Jennifer's fans cheers as she raises her hands while her
slack-jawed sisters look on as Kim looks to still be out. Daisy
calls for the ring Doctor as Courtney and Chloe go to Kim's aid.
As the doctor tries to get in close The Kardashian's stream into
action. Courtney immediately heads to the ref and starts
screaming at her while Chloe knees next to Kim and shields her
from the ring Doctor. Kim slowly recovers but is in no shape to
continue as the Doctor tries to get a closer look.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Chloe: You lay a hand on her and you'll
never practice medicine for as long as you live.[/font]
[font=times new roman]The Doctor, doing his job and concerned
for Kim's safety get closer when Chloe wraps her right hand
around his throat, lifts him in the air and shake him like a rag
doll. She slowly puts him back down and with a change of heart,
he allows the match to proceed. After some more interference
from Kim's sisters, he match resumes.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer and Kim tie up and wrestle on
their knees. Jennifer slips off to the left and locks Kim in a
side headlock. She twists her body and sends Kim over her hip.
She straddles the stunned social media icon, slips upon her
chest and places her hands on Kim's shoulders. ONE! . . . TWO! .
. Kim manages to squirms her way until her shoulder is off the
mat but Jennifer leans forward and the count resumes. ONE! . . .
TWO . . THR . . . Again, Kim manages to lift her shoulder
breaking the count but a determined Jennifer doubles her efforts
bringing her knees in tight to Kim's chest until her massive
breasts are testing her skimpy silver top. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer inches forward pushing Kim's jugs
until they are resting on her chin. ONE! . . . TWO! . . .T .
Kim plants her feet and lifts her hips sending Jennifer tumbling
over her head. Kim, realizing that she has under-estimated her
opponent, get to her knees and tucks her left breast back in her
top. Jennifer is feeling it and now has seem to have found her
balance, launches herself to Kim. The two Heavyweight bodies
collide with a loud slap. They wrap each other up in a tight
bearhug and fall to the mat. They both takes turn on top
neither able to get more than a one count. [/font]
[font=times new roman]As the time runs out on the first round,
Jennifer powers her way on top, pins Kim's shoulders to the mat
as Daisy starts the count. ONE! . . TWO! . . TH. . . The bells
sounds as Daisy's hand is half way down saving Kim from another
pin. Daisy waves her hands but Jennifer isn't about to get off.
She grabs a handful of Kim's hair in her left hand while her
right hand grabs her by the chin. She leans forward as Kim calls
out for a break. Daisy gives Jennifer a warning and start the 5
count. At three Jennifer lets Kim up then gives her a shove
knocking her back down.[/font]
[font=times new roman]With a 1-0 lead it looks like we have a
close fight. Kim makes it back to her corner as Courtney and
Chloe give Kim a pep talk which of course fall on deaf ears.
Jennifer is ready to resume and throws some taunts over at Kim
who seems more interested in cleaning up her smudged eye
shadow.[/font]
Round 2:
[font=times new roman]They meet in the middle and wrap each
other up tight their legs snaked together as they grunt and
groan each trying to get on top of the other. This time it's Kim
who powers her way on top pinning Jennifer on her back as Daisy,
not expecting such a quick pin isn't in position as Kim starts
her own quick count. ONE! TWO! THREE!.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: What the ****, Feuntes?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Daisy gets into position but only manages
a 1 count before Jennifer swings her arm back the point of her
left elbow landing on Kim's left eye. Kim covers her face then
screams as Jennifer rolls out on top of Kim and Daisy, now in
position start the count on Kim. ONE! . . . TWO . . . THR . . .
A red faced Kim shoves Jennifer off then gets to her feet and
chest bumps Daisy.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: She elbowed me in the **** eye! Take
a point away you useless piece of crap.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Daisy motions for them to fight.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Get your a$$ together or this is the
last time you officiate anything! Understand?[/font]
[font=times new roman]As Kim is belittling Daisy, Jennifer hops
on her back and locks her in a rear naked choke. Jennifer leans
back, sits on her butt and locks her legs under Kim's breasts.
Kim immediately starts turning red as Jennifer pulls back while
locking her ankles. Kim starts moaning then digs her nails into
Jennifer's arms, leans forwards, then smashes the back of her
head into Jennifer's face. Jlo screams and releases the lock
while Rihanna and Ciara start screaming foul but Daisy looks at
Kim, shakes her head no, then tells them to wrestle.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim catches her breath then reaches down,
grabs a handful of hair and lifts Jennifer to her feet. She
holds Jennifer up then stomps on her toes then sweeps her legs
out. Jennifer crashes to the pit floor with a loud splat and
before she can gather her senses, Kim jumps up in the air and
lands a body splash her full weight knocking the air out of
Jennifer. Kim straddles Jen's chest, inches up until her knees
are resting on Jennifer's biceps then orders Daisy to start
counting. ONE! . TWO . THREE![/font]
[font=times new roman]Ciara and Rhianna are livid after the
quick count but Daisy isn't having any of it and summons the
fighters to the middle. Jennifer takes a deep breath then feints
to the left then lands a open handed slap across Kim's cheeks
the stunning shot echoing across the pit making the crowd gasp.
Kim shakes her head and before she can focus another slaps sends
her to the mat. Kim lands on her side and now it's Jennifer's
turn to launch herself in the air but before she can land the
body splash, Kim rolls away and Jennifer lands face first in the
oil. Kim quickly rolls the out of breath Strikeforce Heavyweight
on her back, hooks her leg and pins it to her chest while Daisy
counts Jennifer out. In less than a minute Kim has taken control
and leads 2-1.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jlo gets to her knees and catches her
breath and readies herself. Kim is all smiles now and
confidently steps towards Jen. They lock up and fall into a
tangled mess of arms and legs. They give it everything they have
but neither is able to get any sort of advantage and they spend
the rest of the round side by side squeezing each other with
their legs and slapping each other on the back.[/font]
[font=times new roman]They ref has trouble prying the two
exhausted fighters apart and when she does it's Jennifer who
gives Kim a shove knocking her off her feet and sending her
sliding into her corner. A halfhearted warning from Daisy gets
ignored by both battered fighters.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Chloe wipes the oil from Kim's eyes and
it's apparent that she will have a nice shiner in the morning as
her left eye is starting to close. Kim is furious as Courtney
takes a pic and show the damage to her little sister. Kim face
is contorted as a red wave flushes across her face.[/font]
Round 3:
[font=times new roman]Kim charges at Jennifer and the two lock
up in a tight embrace. They spin to the left each struggling to
keep their balance but neither able to take out the other feet.
Finally Kim is able to kick Jennifer in the shin forcing her to
lose her balance and they go crashing down onto the slippery
mat. Kim's entire 139 lbs comes crashing down on top of Jennifer
and the blow sends the air hissing through her lips. Kim lifts
her hips and bounces her world famous derriere up and down on
Jennifer's belly each slapping blow knocking the remaining air
from Jen. Kim leans forward, places her hands on Jen's shoulders
as Daisy calls out the count. ONE! . . . TWO! . . . TH .
Jennifer lifts her left shoulder momentarily breaking the count
but after a few more Keister bounces Kim presses forwards and
secures the pin.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim has taken control of this fight as
Chloe takes some more selfies making sure to get an out of
breath Jen in the background. Daisy gets the fight started and
Jen is in big trouble as she struggle to catch her breath. Kim
is all over her before she can recover slapping her across the
cheeks and tugging on her hair. Jennifer's eyes are rolling in
the back of her head as Kim is in complete control. She grabs
Jennifer's ankles, rolls her on her stomach and locks in a
Boston Crab. Before the lock can be fully locked in Jennifer
screams out in agony and taps the mat.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim, a bit disappointed continues to bend
Jen back until her ankles are touching the mat then releases
the hold. Kim's fans cheer while Jennifer rolls on her stomach
and reaches back and rubs her aching back. Kim looks over to
Courtney whose phone is in her hand.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Please tell me you got that.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Courtney shrugs her shoulders and Kim
slaps the mat and heads towards Jennifer.[/font]
[font=times new roman]The Strikeforce Boss enters the arena and
again looks like he is about to throw in the towel. With his
fighter down 4 falls to 1 he has some sharp words for Ciara and
Rihanna who are doing their best to calm him down. He looks over
at his beaten fighter and has had enough and storms out leaving
his corner to deal with Jen. Despite the searing pain shooting
through her back, she isn't about to concede to a Kardashian and
gathers herself and gets to the middle of the cage. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim reaches out her hand in a friendly
gesture. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Sorry about that. I didn't see you
tap.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim's cocky smiles fades as her hand is
forcefully slapped away. She bull rushes Jen and spears her in
the gut lifting her off her feet and driving her into the mat.
Kim is on fire as she pins Jen on her back as places her world
famous backside on Jen's face. Daisy slides in. ONE! . . . TWO!
. . . THRE . . Kim slides back, grabs a handful of hair and
pulls Jen up breaking the count. Kim gets a stern warning but
continues to play with Jen who offers less and less resistance
as Kim grinds her butt on Jen's face. After the third warning
Kim spins around until she is facing Jennifer's legs, spreads
her thic thighs and plops her big round ass on Jennifer's
face.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Jennifer's face is completely engulfed
beneath Kim as Daisy starts the count. ONE! . . . TWO! . . . and
THREE! Kim raises her arms and starts grinding her hips then
finally gets off her defeated foe. Kim gets to her feet and
looks down at Jennifer as Daisy moves in, lifts her left arm and
lets it fall then waves off the fight as Rihanna and Ciara go to
their unconscious teammate.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim Kardashian beat Jennifer Lopez 5 falls
to 1,[/font]
Post Fight:
[font=times new roman]Joe Rogan has to wait for the ring to
clear then heads over to the Hellfire corner.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Kim, that was, well that was
interesting to say the least.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Did anyone get the Boston Crab?
Anyone?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: I'm sure it will be one of the
highlights. Great match.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Thank you, Joe. I really wanted to
make a statement. You challenge the Queen and you pay the
price.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Jennifer came out fast and had you in
trouble. How were you able to fight back?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: Trouble? Me, in trouble? I had her
exactly where I wanted her. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: You started your comeback by
targeting her mid section. Was that part of your
strategy?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: When you fight at a high level like I
do, you let the fight come to you. I could see that her stomach
was one of her weaknesses and well, you saw how her jelly belly
folded under pressure. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: That wasn't very nice. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: When you're the Queen you have to be
brutally honest or you'll lose all respect.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Now let's get to your finish. A
reverse facesit submission has to be one of the most humiliating
finishes. Was that really necessary seeing that Jennifer was
ready to black out?[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: That one was for my followers who
just can't get enough. I couldn't let then down after they paid
half a weeks pay to come and see me tonight. While it is
humiliating to say the least, you don't get to see the look of
far in your opponents eyes so it's a little disappointing.
[/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Well, that seems a bit arrogant of
you.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim: You haven't seen arrogant yet. Just
wait until I'm challenged the next time. [/font]
[font=times new roman]Joe: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner.
Kim Kardashian![/font]
[font=times new roman]Kim brushes the hair our of her face and
is handed a phone by Chloe. She takes a series of selfies then
waves to her adoring fans.[/font]
[font=times new roman]Written by The Badass Barbies.[/font]
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