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| #Post#: 1557-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Someone's Blog From the internet. | |
| By: Helen Date: April 27, 2015, 1:48 pm | |
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| Somedays I just read. This is something that I just read. You | |
| may or may not like it. | |
| I recently Googled “character defects” and found a | |
| list of 194. It was an exhaustive list that was exhausting to | |
| read. There were the obvious things on this list such as | |
| gluttony, greed, injustice, recklessness and perfectionism. But | |
| there were also more obscure defects. | |
| We all have vices, those things we struggle against. I have | |
| often taken mine so seriously, (perhaps too seriously) giving | |
| them power over myself instead of the appropriate amount of | |
| consideration they were worthy of. | |
| While I believe that probing deeply into our souls is a | |
| necessary means of excavating the ghosts of long past, I also | |
| believe in the power to change our behaviour by turning over a | |
| new leaf in a split-second decision. | |
| You won’t hear me say this often, but I wonder if we are | |
| sometimes undergoing emotional surgery when we ought to be | |
| taking an aspirin instead. (That’s right…you heard | |
| me.) | |
| What follows is something I’ve written to you, to me, and | |
| to them. It’s a bit of practical vice advice – some | |
| simpler remedies for the defects that may be keeping you, me or | |
| them stuck. | |
| I hope you find yourself here, and quite possibly a simple way | |
| to manage your character defects responsibly. | |
| So… | |
| To the grumpy. Go do something for someone. Give someone twenty | |
| dollars, pick up the tab at lunch, become a tutor, mentor, drive | |
| an extra week in your carpool…something. And then feel | |
| good about what you’ve done. I swear it will help. | |
| To those who are never wrong. We don’t need you to state | |
| the same opinion twelve different ways until it is validated. | |
| And we are only validating it so you’ll stop stating the | |
| same opinion twelve different ways. You will never learn a thing | |
| if you don’t start saying the words, “you’re | |
| right” more often. | |
| To the poets. Once in a while, go see a movie with car chases, a | |
| damsel in distress and massive explosions. K? Life is not so | |
| serious all the time. Relax and enjoy the shallow parts of life. | |
| Don’t take yourself so seriously. | |
| To the mean spirited. You are capable of being nice once in a | |
| while. Just do that more often. Stop cutting everyone off on | |
| your way to work. You don’t need to be first. And when the | |
| cashier won’t return your snagged sweater, let it go. You | |
| aren’t losing the contest you’ve made up in your | |
| mind. | |
| To the workaholics. Go home. Make dinner. Put your computer | |
| away. Get some highlights on your downtime, or new glasses, a | |
| pedicure, or go to a concert. At work, ask someone how they are | |
| doing and stop making them feel like they need to get out of | |
| your office the moment you are finished with your agenda. | |
| To the angered. We know you’re mad at the world. But | |
| it’s not changing a thing. So for the rest of us, could | |
| you do us a favor? Try something else. You’re shoveling | |
| your trash all over the place. And if it didn’t stink so | |
| badly everywhere you are, we’d actually like to have a | |
| normal conversation with you. | |
| To the beautiful. Pass on the facelift and botox. Buy a book | |
| that no one will make into a movie (Eat, Pray, Ridiculous) and | |
| read it. Gain ten pounds so the rest of us don’t feel so | |
| bad. Get a hobby besides being cute everywhere you go. | |
| You’ve got more to offer than that. | |
| To the cruel. Pray for yourself. See if you can find some | |
| redemptive seed way down deep, and then huddle around it. | |
| Protect it. Water it. Grow it into something less cruel and see | |
| if you can be good at something besides causing trouble. | |
| To the users. You actually CAN do for yourself. Right, I | |
| know…it’s not easy or you simply don’t want | |
| to. Stop preying on weaker people to make your life work. Get a | |
| job. Pay your own bills. Move out of the basement. Make your own | |
| way. You’ll probably die young if you don’t. | |
| To the overly sensitive. You don’t need fourteen people to | |
| validate what happened to you. So stick with telling your sad | |
| story to a friend. Fifty people saying “that’s a | |
| real bummer” will feel no better than one good friend | |
| saying it. | |
| To the egotistical. You are the hero in A LOT of your stories. | |
| Take a sincere interest in what someone else is saying. And for | |
| God’s sake, let them have the big story once in a while. | |
| To the laid back. All the world is not Jamaica. Stop thinking | |
| everyone should be more like you. No one is asking you to sweat | |
| the small stuff, but show a little more concern for the things | |
| your friends, family and co-workers seem to care about. | |
| To those who play it safe. Being impulsive is sometimes a good | |
| thing. We know you can’t do it all the time (and | |
| shouldn’t) but doing it none of the time isn’t being | |
| safe – it’s being scared. | |
| To those who expect to be happy all the time. Grow up. That is | |
| all my friends. Pain is a part of life. It will make you better. | |
| So squeeze yourself onto the road less traveled for once and see | |
| where it leads you. | |
| To those who think life is one big disappointment after another. | |
| Yes, pain is a part of life, but so is laughter, love, dancing, | |
| dogs, sex, coffee and music. So make a mix tape. Go for a walk. | |
| Try to enjoy the very moment happiness arrives, knowing that for | |
| you, this may be harder than for others. But that’s life. | |
| Everyone has their struggle. | |
| To those who use religion as a weapon or simply to back up their | |
| own personal belief system. God does not belong to you. You | |
| belong to him. So walk WITH God – he isn’t your | |
| tagalong. | |
| To those who hurt and abuse children. I hope you’ll claw | |
| your way out of hell one day. And I hope that whoever hurt you | |
| might claw their way out too. But go ahead and keep your | |
| distance while I do my best to love you from across the room. | |
| Because no one owe’s you a relationship. | |
| To those who have been hurt and abused. I hope you’ll claw | |
| your way out of hell one day. And I hope that whoever hurt you | |
| might claw their way out too. Come close so I can validate your | |
| story and see you become the person you were always intended to | |
| be. Be beautifully broken, my friend. | |
| To you, to me, to them. May we all find love and then BE | |
| loved…and in turn, love God, our enemies, our friends and | |
| family, and eventually…ourselves. | |
| Matt Bays | |
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