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#Post#: 71386--------------------------------------------------
Early 80's computer startup humor
By: jkbixby Date: August 12, 2025, 8:50 am
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Back in the early 1980's we started using engineering software
from MiTek to help design roof and floor systems. Back then we
shut everything down every night so had to restart the system in
the morning. First thing up on the screen was a funny saying
many of which I thought were keepers. I know most of them have
been around the block a few times but thought I'd share a few a
day for a while and hope you get a laugh out of them too.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.
Romeo: Courage, man, the hurt cannot be much.
Mercutio: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a
churchdoor: but 'tis enough, 'twill serve.
Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.
Alone: In bad company.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
stupidity of your action.
#Post#: 71388--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: Stoker Date: August 12, 2025, 10:26 am
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I've lived all of those ..... so far! ;c)
#Post#: 71391--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: jkbixby Date: August 13, 2025, 8:23 am
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If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on fire.
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Familiarity breeds attempt.
Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will
not be evenly distributed.
Anything is good if it's made out of chocolate.
We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
--Pogo
#Post#: 71402--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: jkbixby Date: August 14, 2025, 8:13 am
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You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go home and Prepare Thyself.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Elevators smell different to midgets.
Paranoids are people, too: they have their own problems. It's
easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid
also.
I really hate this damned machine
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.
"I am an old man now. I've seen a lot of trouble. Most of it
never happened."
#Post#: 71404--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: txlabman Date: August 14, 2025, 10:58 am
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Inspirational!
#Post#: 71420--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: jkbixby Date: August 15, 2025, 5:33 am
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Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the
time he will pick himself up and continue on.
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as
a warning to others.
We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we
always respect their good judgement.
Mickey Mouse wears a Spiro Agnew watch.
"All flesh is grass"
--Isiah
Smoke a friend today.
#Post#: 71421--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: krypto31337 Date: August 15, 2025, 7:16 am
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Any quality OS will have the program 'fortune' which is probably
where the code and data or at least the inspiration for these
log-in screen quotes.
[code]
doug@godzilla ~ $ fortune -s
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
doug@godzilla ~ $ fortune -s
A beautiful woman is a blessing from Heaven, but a good cigar is
a smoke.
-- Kipling
doug@godzilla ~ $ fortune -s
Nothing is so often irretrievably missed as a daily opportunity.
-- Ebner-Eschenbach
[/code]
#Post#: 71448--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: jkbixby Date: August 16, 2025, 10:59 am
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Conscience is the thing that hurts when everything else feels so
good.
Gravity is a myth: the earth sucks!
I may be fat but you're ugly and I can always go on a diet!
Save energy - be apathetic.
Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than
me.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a
rock.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is
adequately explained by stupidity.
#Post#: 71451--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: Stoker Date: August 16, 2025, 1:06 pm
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All true in my world view!!! ;c)
#Post#: 71465--------------------------------------------------
Re: Early 80's computer startup humor
By: jkbixby Date: August 17, 2025, 6:42 am
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When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut!
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Genius may have its' limitations, but stupidity is not thus
handicapped.
A dozen, a gross, and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Equals nine squared plus zero, no more.
Time flies like an arrow,
Fruit flies like a banana.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
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