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#Post#: 4752--------------------------------------------------
One Man For Them Self [Denied]
By: daflowergirl Date: February 1, 2013, 12:56 pm
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:(This is it. The last days of the cruel earth, we will not
have to live with painful politics, nor dreadful gas expense,
nor worrying sick about your beloved mother.
Oh, why you ask? They are taking over, they are green like green
grass, blue eyes like the sea, and the size of a giant.
They are the Kragos. They are coming and we will not live to
tell anyone. We as in mankind its self. But us wizards know
these things and shall tell you know. Be prepared because
this;well you will see.
"Another dang crewship?," Pa tiredly says. "Why can't we just
rest!," he blerts out.
"The Kragos don't rest so why should we?," I say. My names Jim,
I live on a farm that
is now like a mashed potato field thanks to these Kragos.
"THERES ONE!," he screams,
"Get the shotgun Jimmy Boy!," he yells. "Yes, Pa.," I calmly
say. Jimmy Boy or Sonny Boy
is the only name I ever get. I open the closet and grab the
rusty antique shotgun. I throw him
the old thing. "GENTLE!" He says. He shoots and grins. "With
this sucker, we are protected!,"
he proudly says. Later that night they stop going and Ma gets
the dog house for arguing
about how we will survive. Me and Pa were cold sitting by the
toasty fire and he runs outside
realizing what he had done. He never comes back, nor any sign
of them. I lay in bed all night
waiting and decide to go looking for them. As I go out I see a
little red light from a bush.
I see it as Pa's flashlight stained in blood, and start to run.
As I run a Krago slices my head
off and then it is over. So that is why we should always be
aware of our anger, and espically
it can be one man for themself. And that is what this story is
about.
Notes: This is 329 words.
#Post#: 4753--------------------------------------------------
Re: One Man For Them Self [Application]
By: daflowergirl Date: February 1, 2013, 1:00 pm
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The name is not a copy from ryan. I made this whole thing last
week.
#Post#: 4754--------------------------------------------------
Re: One Man For Them Self [Application]
By: bob123f Date: February 1, 2013, 1:01 pm
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The limit of 500 characters has now been extended to 500 words.
#Post#: 4756--------------------------------------------------
Re: One Man For Them Self [Application]
By: daflowergirl Date: February 1, 2013, 1:03 pm
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You like?? :(
#Post#: 4758--------------------------------------------------
Re: One Man For Them Self [Application]
By: bob123f Date: February 1, 2013, 1:07 pm
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Application Status:
Denied.
Reason:
The story had almost no plot. No character arcs were experienced
in the story, and we barely got to learn anything about the
characters. This is what I call a "Story Fragment", because it
could be a part of one whole story. Try to avoid these at all
times. There were also a few typos, as always.
You may reapply on Feb. 15.
#Post#: 4759--------------------------------------------------
Re: One Man For Them Self [Application]
By: daflowergirl Date: February 1, 2013, 1:27 pm
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Um, I like the style of how I did it but ok... :-[
#Post#: 4760--------------------------------------------------
Re: One Man For Them Self [Denied]
By: bob123f Date: February 1, 2013, 1:54 pm
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[quote author=daflowergirl link=topic=418.msg4759#msg4759
date=1359746860]
Um, I like the style of how I did it but ok... :-[
[/quote] I'm really sorry, but I am required to do this.
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