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| #Post#: 22347-------------------------------------------------- | |
| An Old Man's Confession | |
| By: HOLLAND Date: May 3, 2019, 9:12 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| An Old Man�s Confession | |
| Callendar Building Penthouse | |
| Central Park North/W 110th St | |
| New York City | |
| January 2019 | |
| The two old men sat in a fine library in easy chairs before a | |
| mellow wood fire largely gone to embers. They were enjoying the | |
| heat. Outside a wind-driven snowstorm and its cold shrouded | |
| the city around them. Both men were in a penthouse on the top | |
| of a high rise building in Mid-town Manhattan that overlooked | |
| the north side of Central Park. | |
| The owner of the penthouse, Preston Callender, sat pensively. | |
| The two men had been talking about politicians, eventually | |
| fixing on Trump, whom they both personally knew. �I don�t want | |
| to be near that animal,� Preston said as he stared into the | |
| fire. | |
| The men had been playing chess and drinking cognac for much of | |
| the evening. Preston was an elderly slim man in his eighties, | |
| commonly thought good looking for his age. His squarish face | |
| had a strong jaw, and thinnish balding white hair. His eyes | |
| glistened though dark in the reflection of the fire. | |
| Preston had been pleased with the chess game because he had won | |
| it. Playing black, he had chosen the ever- risky Dragon | |
| Variation of the Sicilian Defense and it had been a hard-fought | |
| game, full of sharp turns and even more sharper play. It had | |
| been exciting but also very tiring. After the game the men�s | |
| thoughts turned to other things. Their conversation had turned | |
| to politics and Trump. | |
| The other old man, a man some 70 years old, though, oddly, he | |
| looked only around 45, was an old friend named Mack Stemple, who | |
| sighed, and, leaning back in the easy chair that was next to the | |
| other old man, said, �I can understand you Preston. Donald | |
| Trump has become his own worst enemy. In fact, he�s always been | |
| his own enemy in everything he does. It�s tragic.� | |
| Preston sighed. �He�s an animal now,� he muttered. | |
| Mack didn�t reply. He remembered when he met Donald Trump at | |
| one of Preston�s cocktail parties, some thirty years ago. It | |
| was an interesting display of the Trumpean anger. | |
| Trump was yelling, �YOU STUMBLED INTO ME DELIBERATELY!� One of | |
| Preston�s servant girls had accidently bumped into him. | |
| She tried to apologize, �I�m sorry, sir�. | |
| �I DON�T WANT TO HEAR IT!� | |
| Another of Preston�s guests, one of his most elderly at the | |
| time, an old judge said, �Now see here. Accidents will happen.� | |
| The judge was cut off. �SHUT UP!� Trump roared at him. | |
| The judge still tried to speak to him. �Now see here--�he | |
| began. | |
| �ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO ME! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?� | |
| At this point Preston intervened and managed to quiet Trump | |
| down. | |
| �Who do you think I am?� That was an interesting question, | |
| thought Mack. Even as a man in his late twenties and early | |
| thirties, Trump had, within his own mind, a self-importance and | |
| a hefty disrespect for his elders. | |
| Preston continued. �I�m afraid of him, Mack. He has no | |
| conscience. He�s evil and is walking in utter darkness.� | |
| Preston sounded pensive, but there was an edge of anger. | |
| �You needn�t fear him,� said Mack quietly. �Trump has a lot on | |
| his mind right now with his legal troubles. Besides, we do not | |
| count for much in his estimation. It�s very likely that he has | |
| largely forgotten us.� | |
| Preston didn�t immediately respond. He stared, pensively, into | |
| the fire. After a while he said, �He�s dishonored and betrayed | |
| our friendship through a lifetime of deceits. I�m sorry that I | |
| ever got to know him.� | |
| Mack didn�t reply. Coming from a family that had many members | |
| who blazed a path in the military, Preston would respond to | |
| Trump the way that his family would. Preston was a man who | |
| recognized gravitas based upon honor. | |
| The men drifted into silence and watched the glowing embers of | |
| the fire or the snow swirling wildly outside the window. Mack | |
| waited. Usually, Preston had more to say. After the silences, | |
| there was always something more. | |
| �It�s going to be cold tomorrow.� | |
| �Yes, Preston.� | |
| The silence continued. | |
| Mack, glanced at the clock. It was almost 11pm. As a powerful | |
| psionic Mack focused his mind onto his ever-present passive | |
| mental area scan. Looking into the darkness of the room, he | |
| faintly sensed to about a mile out, the outlines of the | |
| buildings, the floors and various rooms in those floors, the | |
| sounds of the minds that he could hear, the bare trees of the | |
| park and the cars on the street. He verified that the city was | |
| quiet in the area around Preston�s building. There was little | |
| foot traffic by people in the snow. Traffic had slowed down in | |
| the neighborhood. People were staying indoors and were not | |
| venturing out because it was predicted that the winter storm was | |
| going to become a blizzard within several hours. Why venture | |
| out into the cold dark when there was no need to? | |
| Mack reflected on Trump. The news reports indicated that he was | |
| at Mar a Lago enjoying the heat. Perhaps he was spending part | |
| of his time golfing while he was there. Perhaps. Most likely | |
| he was sitting and stewing about the legal predicaments he was | |
| in. His problems were catching up to him. | |
| Preston sighed. �I�ve a lot to regret, Mack. I�ve been a | |
| conservative all my life. Now my political legacy is gone, it�s | |
| as long gone as the New Left you�ve talked about years ago.� | |
| Mack poured himself another glass of cognac, a small amount to | |
| ring the bottom of the glass. As he tilted the glass, he | |
| watched the liquid slowly swirl around in the glass. Then, he | |
| sipped a small amount. His eyes then returned to Preston and | |
| then to the fire. | |
| Preston sighed. �The Party of Lincoln and Reagan is now gone.� | |
| He said. �It no longer exists.� | |
| �Maybe it�s not entirely gone,� said Mack quietly. | |
| Preston continued. �After Nixon and the disaster of the Ford | |
| pardon of Nixon, I wondered about the Party. Even then the | |
| �Dixiecrats� who came into the Party in the 1960s were changing | |
| it, making it over into their own image. | |
| �My fears quieted down when Reagan came into office in 1981. At | |
| the time I was thrilled. I felt that finally we were in the | |
| driver�s seat with the political combination of the Wall Street | |
| people, the Evangelicals and the Libertarians. I felt that we | |
| were now invincible, having the bulk of the country behind us | |
| and could see that liberalism was now in retreat. I can�t | |
| describe the happiness that I felt at that time. | |
| �What was sad was how quickly the happiness began to fade. We | |
| soon found ourselves in controversies. There were the | |
| controversies involving the Moral Majority that showed how | |
| morally hollow that movement was. There then were the scandals | |
| involving Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart. They were hard to bear | |
| and they sullied the conservative movement in Reagan�s time. We | |
| knew that Evangelicalism remained powerful, but by the end of | |
| it, we knew, in our hearts, that something was wrong about it, | |
| that Evangelicalism wasn�t going to grow and encompass the rest | |
| of the American population. We knew there was not going to be | |
| another Great American Awakening.� | |
| �You and your wife Sheryl became Christians at that time, | |
| Preston.� Mack smiled faintly. | |
| Preston didn�t remove his eyes from watching the fire. �Thanks | |
| for leading me and Sheryl to Christ back then, Mack.� He paused | |
| briefly but then continued, �It�s easy to see that our faith was | |
| somehow removed from that what we knew as Evangelicalism back | |
| then. Even back then, Evangelicalism seemed alien. It seemed | |
| indifferent to the need to respect conscience, especially in | |
| disagreements regarding abortion and family values. Why not | |
| witness to non-Christians about these things? How can one be a | |
| witness for Christ when one is proclaiming a war against all who | |
| disagree or disbelieve in him?� | |
| Preston sighed. �Then there was Iran-Contra, the arms for | |
| hostages deal. When that happened I lost much of the confidence | |
| and happiness I started with during the beginning of the Reagan | |
| years. | |
| �When George H. W. Bush was elected and came into office, I | |
| gained some of the happiness back again when Communism finally | |
| crashed in Europe and in the old Soviet bloc. I thought that, | |
| finally, liberalism was dead, never to be resurrected. How | |
| na�ve I was, how we all were! We looked forward to a supposed | |
| peace dividend to the economy that never came. We never drew | |
| down our military forces like we should have. I suppose it was | |
| just as well when Saddam Hussain invaded Kuwait. | |
| �I was thrilled that we won that war and how we finished it. | |
| For a while my happiness remained but I was uneasy in that | |
| Saddam and Iraq remained unfinished business. | |
| �Like many, I shared in the growing disquiet that the country | |
| was moving in the wrong direction. The Middle Class had not | |
| gotten any kind of raise in wages and standard of living since | |
| 1973. We were becoming aware of the spectacle of countries, | |
| many of them socialistic in Europe, passing us up in many of the | |
| important standard of living categories. We conservatives would | |
| argue our taxation was less and that we were politically freer | |
| as a country, but that argument was becoming less persuasive. | |
| In the end we lost the Presidency and Bill Clinton was elected | |
| into office. | |
| �At this time our political discourse changed. We lost regular | |
| legislative order in the Congress and our party under Newt | |
| Gingrich decided to become totally obstructionist. Our Party | |
| blocked things that needed to be done. We required unnecessary | |
| roll call votes even on minor matters. We allowed cold war | |
| propaganda techniques and its practitioners to invade our Party | |
| and to rule it, to create big fabrications about the Democrats | |
| and other private citizens that we were opposed to. We ceased | |
| to be a loyal opposition party. As we realized at this time | |
| that we could never be a dominant majority party, we felt we had | |
| to fight from now on with tooth and nail. We felt we had to | |
| win at any cost. | |
| �We lied about Clinton dealings in Arkansas. Sure, there may | |
| have been criminality there, but it couldn�t have been to the | |
| extent people in our party had alleged. | |
| �When the politics became really dirty, my political happiness | |
| finally left me. During that time, I still didn�t know what | |
| caused the loss of a lot of that happiness. I suppose that it | |
| was the loss of who we were as a country. I remembered who we | |
| were back and the fifties and longed to return there but knew we | |
| could never go back. For many of my friends across the country | |
| a strange kind of hatred overtook them for the Democrats and the | |
| liberals. It was visceral. | |
| �Concerning Clinton, Clinton�s win of the Presidency was a shock | |
| to us. We couldn�t see how he could�ve won, but he did. This | |
| happened despite the fact that George H. W. Bush won for us a | |
| major war. And Clinton kept his strange, overwhelming | |
| popularity despite all the scandals that surrounded him and the | |
| continued congressional investigations. It was as if Clinton | |
| was Teflon. Nothing seemed to stick to him. | |
| �We attacked him and his wife. We vilified them extensively in | |
| our media. What was sad was that so little of it was true. At | |
| the time, I was uncomfortable about how Hillary Clinton was | |
| being attacked. I knew, at the time, that many conservative men | |
| angry and uncomfortable about the feminism they encountered at | |
| the University in the 1970s, hated intelligent, independent | |
| women. Didn�t Rush Limbaugh refer to independent women as | |
| �Feminazis�? | |
| �By the time of the end of the Clinton Presidency, I was | |
| thinking about withdrawing from political activity in the | |
| Republican Party. When George W. Bush became President, I | |
| largely withdrew from political activity, only keeping | |
| involvement with the Association of Traditional Americans, which | |
| I�ve had a long association with.� | |
| �I was happy to assist you in the matters regarding the ATA,� | |
| said Mack. | |
| �Thanks for meeting the President,� said Preston. He looked up | |
| at Mack and smiled briefly. His eyes then returned to the fire. | |
| He continued, �When the attack on the Twin Towers and the | |
| Pentagon occurred, I felt the anger and patriotism come up | |
| within me as it did with most Americans. But, in the end, I | |
| felt eventually that I was being manipulated. Like many, I felt | |
| the disquiet concerning the anti-terrorist security legislation | |
| that came up. It seemed to me to be overblown. I became | |
| disenchanted with how so many in the party had so little regard | |
| for the poor, which, in itself is a security issue, and the epic | |
| disregard for the disappearance of the Middle Class, which | |
| served as a protection for rich people such as myself and my | |
| affluent family. | |
| �When President Bush attacked again into Iraq, I shared the | |
| public disquiet about more foreign military interventions and, | |
| later on, the discovery of the fact that no weapons of mass | |
| destruction were found, supposedly, the main cause for the war. | |
| Then we got bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan. We were | |
| spending money overseas that we needed to spend at home on | |
| infrastructure and RAD. | |
| �When Obama was elected, I felt embarrassed about being a | |
| Republican because of the birther non-issue lies that were being | |
| propagated and spread by the Party. I was ashamed about that | |
| lie that said that the first American Black President was not a | |
| citizen, and that he was born in Kenya and was a Muslim. The | |
| outrages against Obama went on and on. First we heard about the | |
| secret meeting of Republican congressional leaders to deny Obama | |
| any legislative victories, and, if possible, any judicial | |
| appointments. I sensed my party was becoming immoral and | |
| lawless though it was portraying itself as a beacon of light. | |
| �In shame, except for the ATA which I�ve remained involved with, | |
| I withdrew from national Party politics and devoted myself to | |
| only local Party affairs. When the 2015-2016 Presidential | |
| campaigns started, I developed some interest in Governor Kaisch. | |
| I admit a fascination with Trump. In a sense I wanted to | |
| support Trump because he could shake things up. I didn�t think | |
| that he could win but, perhaps, he could cause my Republican | |
| Party to choke up and finally spew out all the sins and deceits | |
| it�s been carrying for years. I was wrong, horribly wrong. I | |
| was also foolishly na�ve. Trump was the final fruition of all | |
| those years of deceits, of greed, of even disloyalty to the | |
| country that existed in our Party. | |
| �I�m ashamed that I had spoken to people my support of the man, | |
| even though, many of them knew I was supporting him for the | |
| ulterior motive of using him to somehow purify the Party from | |
| all is malicious evils. I�m sorry I ever knew the man.� | |
| �A lot of people have left the Republican Party,� Mack said | |
| quietly. | |
| �Indeed. A lot of prominent people have left.� Preston sighed | |
| again. �It�s like some sort of nightmare.� | |
| #Post#: 22348-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: An Old Man's Confession | |
| By: HOLLAND Date: May 3, 2019, 9:15 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| �Are you hungry?� asked Mack. | |
| Preston looked up from the fire towards Mack. �Sure,� he said. | |
| �A grilled cheese sandwich like you made the other evening would | |
| be fine.� | |
| �I would be happy to make sandwiches.� | |
| Preston smiled at that and, as his friend watched, struggled out | |
| of his easy chair and they both went through several other rooms | |
| of Preston�s elegant penthouse until finally they arrived into | |
| the large, well-appointed kitchen. | |
| Preston watched with interest as Mack got a large iron skillet | |
| from a cabinet and put it onto a gas burner and turned on the | |
| heat. Then Preston went to other cabinets and got out the bread | |
| and paper plates. When he returned to the counter where he saw | |
| Mack standing, he saw that Mack had gotten out the butter and | |
| the velveeta cheese. The men then buttered one side of each of | |
| their two slices of bread on the paper plates. | |
| Preston watched as Mack sprayed a non-stick cooking spray to the | |
| warming iron skillet and then dropped two of their buttered | |
| slices of bread face down onto the frying pan. He watched as | |
| his friend sliced off the velveeta cheese and put it onto the | |
| bread. After a short time, he observed that the cheese began to | |
| melt and he watched in anticipation as Mack took the remaining | |
| slices of the bread and put the slices down onto the sandwiches | |
| with the buttered sides face up. Mack then, using a spatula, | |
| flipped the sandwiches exposing a toasted golden slice of bread. | |
| After a short time, he lifted the sandwiches and put them onto | |
| the paper plates and sliced them in half. | |
| Preston didn�t think that the sandwiches were enough. He went | |
| to the refrigerator and got out a jar of homemade sweet dill | |
| pickled sliced cucumbers. He forked out several slices of | |
| cucumbers for himself and his friend onto their paper plates. | |
| With their food in hand, the two men trudged their way through | |
| the rooms back to the library and their chess board, to their | |
| easy chairs, and their place by the fire. | |
| Before they sat down, Mack opened the fireplace screen and | |
| placed two more split logs of apple wood onto the fire. As he | |
| was closing the screen, both men were pleased that the fire | |
| flared up again. In silence they ate their sandwiches and | |
| watched the crackling fire. They welcomed the comforting warmth | |
| of the food and of the fire. | |
| They glanced at the large windows of the room and noted that the | |
| winter storm was still raging outside. The snow swirled wildly | |
| without, with some of the snowflakes somehow sticking to the | |
| edging of the window panes. It impressed Mack that this would | |
| happen since the windows had been specifically designed to | |
| prevent this. When the building was constructed, everything on | |
| the outside facing of the building, primarily its windows, was | |
| structurally sheer intended purposely not to allow for any | |
| buildup of rain or snow on any of its surfaces. Somehow it | |
| happened though. Perhaps it was a combination of snow moisture | |
| and how the wind blew. The phenomenon was temporary. It would | |
| soon be gone by morning. | |
| As the comforting warmth of the food entered Mack�s stomach, | |
| Mack looked at his friend Preston. He watched as the sorrow | |
| return to his old friend�s eyes and figured that Preston wasn�t | |
| yet done with what he had to say about politics and his part in | |
| it. Some things must be told, thought Mack. | |
| Preston continued, sadly. �Though I�ve been financially | |
| successful in life and realized all my worldly ambitions, I know | |
| that worldly riches is nothing in God�s sight. I really messed | |
| up in politics. I should have been more careful, more | |
| understanding in how others thought about things. | |
| �I closed my heart to how other people thought and felt about | |
| things. I trusted to my own judgment which was successful in | |
| business. I wanted how my view of the world to be dominant. I | |
| imagined that I was wiser than others, and I thought that I | |
| didn�t need correction, though, sorely, I was much in need of it | |
| for many years. I had the vanity of thinking that because I was | |
| successful in one part of my life, that it was the case that | |
| somehow that same success would spread over into other areas of | |
| life. How wrong I was! | |
| �Actually, I was too passive, too prone not to ask questions and | |
| to do critical thinking. I failed to ask myself questions when | |
| I could see the many failings of the Republican Party. At the | |
| time, I consoled myself that, somehow, we were morally better | |
| than the Democrats, but, in reflection, we were not. But | |
| because we Republicans had the vanity of thinking that we were | |
| the GOP, �God�s Own Party�. In attitudes such as this, we | |
| behaved presumptuously. � | |
| �Presumption is a fault that everybody has a share in, one time | |
| or another, Preston.� Mack wasn�t convinced. | |
| Preston shook his head. �This presumption was more sinful since | |
| we Republicans sought to identify God with our political | |
| presumptions. We Republicans assumed that because we thought we | |
| were more right about the Bible, and how we thought it could be | |
| interpreted, we thought that God had blessed us and supported | |
| us. We failed to see the enormity of our presumption and that | |
| our attitude of self-righteousness, so grating to the liberals, | |
| was also contrary to God�s will and that was the cause of God�s | |
| rejection of us and why we never had another American Great | |
| Awakening, another spiritual revival that this country needs. | |
| �We wanted to protect the country, but we failed. Wanting | |
| change, hoping for change, we blinded ourselves to the | |
| culmination of all of our deceits, and we elected into office | |
| the embodiment of all of our deceits, Donald Trump. | |
| �Now those of us who are conservative and had spiritual | |
| convictions have to watch this terrible spectacle of deceit | |
| after deceit continually being pronounced by the President and | |
| the party that he transformed, or rather, brought into its final | |
| fruition because of its deceits. | |
| �Now my political life work is ruined,� he said finally. | |
| �Aren�t you being too hard on yourself?� asked Mack. | |
| �But aren�t I responsible for not challenging the lies that were | |
| being spoken about the Democrats that were spoken in the past? | |
| Where was I when the �Swift Boat� lies about John Kerry were | |
| uttered? Where was I when the lies about the Clintons were | |
| uttered? I would acknowledge that it may be true some of the | |
| charges may have been real, but wasn�t they all lost in the | |
| tissues of lies and hate that were uttered against them? Where | |
| was I when the Obama birther lie was uttered? Why didn�t I or | |
| my friends, many of them spiritual, speak out in outrage when we | |
| heard Obama being described as a Kenyan, a dog-eater, and a | |
| Muslim? Where were we in all of this hidden and malevolent | |
| racism and misogyny? | |
| �Where was our humanity in our treatment of others? If we were | |
| �God�s Own Party� why did we fail in so many things that God | |
| requires of us? It was true we are pro-life as far as abortion | |
| is concerned, but why did we become so anti-life in all the | |
| other policies that we put forward? Why are we so concerned | |
| about depriving people of their health care when we cannot | |
| provide for any kind of cost-effective meaningful alternative to | |
| what is already in place? Why are we so anti-life the way we | |
| are? | |
| �Why did we give ourselves one of the biggest tax cuts ever | |
| without any means to pay for it except out of the eventual | |
| suffering of the American people? Why have we waged a war on | |
| the poor, attacking Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security? Why | |
| have our deceits turned us into attacking justice itself? | |
| �Our deceits have turned us into being anti-life, and being | |
| deceitful, we�ve become anti-liberty. The Republican Party, | |
| once the beacon of liberty, is now a party where the leader of | |
| the party, Trump, is not supposed to be questioned or | |
| contradicted. It's where everyone in the party is suppose to | |
| follow the party line, whatever the deceits of the day may be | |
| and that have been spoken, and that all people who disagree are | |
| disloyal to the party and to the country. And even more | |
| galling, it is now the case that Republican political and party | |
| purity is not something that includes the truth, and that the | |
| truth does not exist, that the truth itself is just another lie. | |
| �Our deceits are having us wage war against God himself. We are | |
| now shaking our fists against God and daring him to do his | |
| worst.� | |
| Preston stopped as he stared into the fire. Mack poured his | |
| friend and himself a small amount of cognac. The two men sipped | |
| the cherished liquid and watched the fire break down into | |
| jewel-like embers. Then they watched the snow swirling around | |
| outside the windows and realized that the predicted blizzard had | |
| arrived. Then their eyes returned to the fire. | |
| Preston sighed again. �God�s fiery judgement is in all this,� | |
| he said. �He is going to make us pay for our sins, our terrible | |
| arrogance.� | |
| Mack didn�t answer. He knew his friend was not yet done. Mack | |
| remembered what his grandfather told him, that many times words | |
| that are unbidden are like a mountain stream. Sometimes the | |
| words are not to be interrupted and should be allowed to flow | |
| naturally, like a mountain stream. And most times, he said, the | |
| water in the mountain stream is purer than the waters found | |
| further down below on the plains. | |
| Preston looked up at Mack. �Will God forgive us for what we�ve | |
| done?� he asked. | |
| It was Mack�s turn to sigh and then he shook his head. �I | |
| think, Preston, that in respect to the Republican Party, perhaps | |
| God will not forgive it. It seems that he has caused many to | |
| leave that party and has given the remaining party members over | |
| to its deceits and its political hatreds so that it can be ruled | |
| by the Evil One.� | |
| Preston stared at Mack. �Will God forgive me for my help in | |
| creating this political legacy?� he asked. �Too many times I�ve | |
| turned away from the truth and failed to make a moral stand when | |
| the lies and deceits were being uttered. I�ve failed to | |
| exercise charity and good judgement when bad policies were | |
| introduced. I failed to seek and to live in accordance with | |
| justice. | |
| �I pray that God will forgive me for what I�ve done over the | |
| years. What I�ve been doing is to display an obdurate | |
| hard-heartedness and blindness to justice.� | |
| The sound of the wind picked up outside and the men watched the | |
| swirl of snow seen through the windows become even more rapid. | |
| After a time of watching it, their eyes returned to the fire. | |
| In the darkness they listened to the wind and watch the | |
| flickering of the flames in the fireplace and the fiery glow of | |
| the embers. | |
| Preston sighed again and turned to his friend and asked, �What | |
| do you say, Mack? What do you say to an old man who�s spent a | |
| life-time going the wrong way and has left behind a terrible | |
| legacy?� | |
| Mack didn�t respond immediately. The two men sat for a while in | |
| the silence of the blowing wind outside. Finally, he looked up | |
| from the fire and said to his friend. �Do you believe that God | |
| wants you to say these things in making this confession of sin?� | |
| he asked. | |
| �I do.� | |
| �God, of course, is omniscient. He knows all things and so | |
| these words, that you�ve spoken, are not for him but rather for | |
| you. In the speaking of these words, have you entered into all | |
| of the feelings that you should have entered into, using these | |
| words, especially into the full regret for your sin?� | |
| �I think I have. What�s so sad is that I�ve wasted my life | |
| politically, and have been so far from God for so many years.� | |
| �If he has given these words to you, Preston, and you have | |
| confessed your sin as you ought, have any other words, spoken or | |
| unspoken from God have come to you?� | |
| Preston didn�t have an immediate response to that question. | |
| Eventually the two men�s eyes turned to the windows and the | |
| swirling snow outside. They watched as the streams of snow | |
| flowed by the windows as they descended to the ground below. | |
| Preston sighed again. �We�re only here in life for a moment, | |
| Mack.� | |
| �We are.� | |
| �As we live in this world, we discover that we largely don�t see | |
| or hear people, even those in front of us. And this | |
| hard-heartedness lasts for many years, even decades. We do not | |
| hear or see God as we ought to in this world. Can we not say, | |
| we can receive God�s forgiveness but yet not hear him giving | |
| that forgiving word?� | |
| �For a time, Preston, that lack of hearing could be possible on | |
| the part of people.� | |
| �That is something that I find haunting. God could be speaking | |
| but we do not hear him.� | |
| The wind picked up again and soon the men could hear the roaring | |
| of the blizzard outside. | |
| Preston continued. �We live in a blizzard of distraction. We | |
| see and hear what glitters and distracts us. We see and hear | |
| for the moment for the ephemeral. � | |
| The blizzard wind outside had turned into a howl. It sounded | |
| like a long low moan that went on and on. The two men listened | |
| to the wind and watched the swirling snow whipping even faster | |
| outside the windows. The howl eventually rose in pitch and | |
| blared out a trumpeting sound that went on and on; its sound | |
| only broken by the crackling of the fire in the fireplace. The | |
| two men�s eyes returned to the fire and watched the wood embers | |
| as they burnt down. The silence beckoned them both despite the | |
| howl of the wind and the crackling fire. The silence beckoned | |
| despite distraction. | |
| Finally, Preston said, his eyes still on the fire, �It is a | |
| great burden to carry the regret of a lifetime, to have the | |
| sorrow of so great a legacy of sin.� | |
| �Yes, my friend.� | |
| �But he brought me to this point, Mack, and has brought me to | |
| this repentance.� Preston sighed and then smiled as a | |
| realization came into his face and eyes. He turned his face and | |
| eyes to Mack. �You�re right. All this speaking is for a | |
| purpose. It�s all very strange in that God already knows these | |
| words that I have spoken and that he wanted me to say them.� | |
| Tears came into the old man�s eyes. He wiped them away with his | |
| fingers. �I�ve suddenly realized that he�s forgiven this sin, | |
| this terrible legacy of mine. He�s now having me say those | |
| words.� He paused. �It�s interesting. My words are somehow | |
| his words and I�m enwrapped in all his great love.� He sighed | |
| again. �Now I have to warn all my friends of their part in this | |
| same legacy. Woe to all of us,� he said tiredly. Wearily, he | |
| set his head back into the recliner and turned his face back to | |
| the fire and closed his eyes. Soon he was asleep. | |
| Mack got up and put a small coverlet over his friend�s legs and | |
| went over to the window and watched the blizzard as it descended | |
| down on Central Park. | |
| A storm is coming to America, thought Mack. All the lies and | |
| hatred are going to blow out all over the country until the | |
| deceits and hatreds are a spent force. May it be sooner than | |
| later, prayed Mack. We pray, do not wait in this storm, Lord, | |
| until it becomes a hurricane and truly greater evil is walking | |
| abroad in the land wrecking terrible destruction. We pray this | |
| in Christ�s Name, Amen. | |
| He returned to his recliner, opposite his friend, and smiled | |
| down at his friend. Preston�s wife, Sheryl, will find him and | |
| Mack both here in the morning and it will greatly amuse her. | |
| She will wake them both to the smell of coffee, toast, fried | |
| eggs and bacon. | |
| He spread a coverlet over his legs and was soon fast asleep, the | |
| men comforted by the fire and the howling wind outside, and the | |
| wonder of God�s mercy and lovingkindness. | |
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