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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 25964--------------------------------------------------
Handmade gifts
By: Rain Date: February 14, 2019, 11:22 am
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Another thread got me to thinking about handmade gifts.... I'll
admit I don't want someone else picking/making things for my
home.
I'm a beginner knitter and ask people if they'd like a baby
blanket before I make one. I also ask if they have color
preferences.
So far, no one has said no.
How do you deal with making sure people actually want what you
make?
#Post#: 25973--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: QueenFaninCA Date: February 14, 2019, 1:10 pm
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By asking. I don't knit surprises. I ask the recipient what they
want me to knit and we pick out the pattern and yarn together
(ok, DH lets me pick sock patterns and colors for him).
#Post#: 26016--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: gmatoy Date: February 14, 2019, 9:13 pm
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I sew and I make gifts for family and friends. I don't ask if
people want them; however, these are people I know very well.
What I usually hear is: " The colors are perfect, and I love
it." (My best friend loved that I used Elvis fabric in her gift
this past Christmas. ;))
It never occurred to me to ask if they wanted what I made.
However, most of what I make could be thrown in a drawer when
not being used. (Potholders, fabric bowl holders for the
microwave, aprons, etc.)
#Post#: 26021--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: Rho Date: February 14, 2019, 10:48 pm
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It never occurred to me that someone would NOT want what I made.
One time I was talking to DH about a quilt as a wedding gift for
freinds son. DH suggested I not put so many hours into a gift
for a couple we didn't know well. He was SO wise---marriage
lasted about 1 year.
After that I limit whom I make a quilt for to those I know would
appreciate and welcome it. Or the small one I'm about to
construct using a very simple block because it's for a friends
grandbaby and I really do not know the parents-to-be.
On the flip side
A few years after I was married MIL PAID someone to cross stitch
me a tablecloth--in purple, raspberry, neon green and other
clashing colours. I am an advance cross stitcher and
embroiderer if I may brag. I adore the tablecloth 35 years later
and have used it a lot--because it IS so awful and was SO
inappropriate.
#Post#: 26027--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: gmatoy Date: February 15, 2019, 1:33 am
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[quote author=Rho link=topic=994.msg26021#msg26021
date=1550206091]
It never occurred to me that someone would NOT want what I made.
One time I was talking to DH about a quilt as a wedding gift for
freinds son. DH suggested I not put so many hours into a gift
for a couple we didn't know well. He was SO wise---marriage
lasted about 1 year.
After that I limit whom I make a quilt for to those I know would
appreciate and welcome it. Or the small one I'm about to
construct using a very simple block because it's for a friends
grandbaby and I really do not know the parents-to-be.
On the flip side
A few years after I was married MIL PAID someone to cross stitch
me a tablecloth--in purple, raspberry, neon green and other
clashing colours. I am an advance cross stitcher and
embroiderer if I may brag. I adore the tablecloth 35 years later
and have used it a lot--because it IS so awful and was SO
inappropriate.
[/quote]
Is it knowing that if it gets ruined, no big deal? Or is it that
she tried to give you something special? Either way, I like your
attitude!
#Post#: 26034--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: STiG Date: February 15, 2019, 7:24 am
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A friend of mine brought me an afghan of her husband's that she
wanted me to repair. It was UGLY but he loved it because his
blind grandmother made it for him. I managed to repair it,
either by reknitting the portions that had unraveled or darning
the portions that were frayed beyond repair. She wanted to pay
me but I managed to talk her into just taking me for lunch at
our favourite restaurant. :)
Small things like mitts, hats and dishcloths, I'll make without
asking. If I don't see them using them down the road, I won't
make them again. Larger things like sweaters and afghans, I'll
ask if they a) want it and b) what colours to use unless it is
someone I know really well. And if I'm just in a 'use up my
stash' mood, I'll make things to be donated to charity. I
couldn't tell you how many things I've given away.
#Post#: 26035--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: oogyda Date: February 15, 2019, 7:38 am
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A gift is a gift, whether it's handmade or not. I don't think
there's any difference in how you choose a gift.....handmade or
not. I try to consider the recipient's likes and dislikes
either way. That includes whether they prefer handmade or store
bought.
A person must also realize there is a great deal of variance in
the importance people place on handmade items. Some believe
that they should treat a handmade item as ultra-special and end
up never using it. Others believe they honor the maker by using
the item. Still others treat it as a useful item that gets used
for it's purpose like any other item does. Being handmade does
not make it more or less special or useful.
All that is to say that the giver must manage their
expectations. You (general) can't expect every recipient to
appreciate or acknowledge the time, effort and thought connected
with an item. When other people might be absurd in their
appreciation....treating a very ordinary dishcloth as an
heirloom piece.
I would never give BIL anything handmade. He has told me that
he doesn't understand putting so much time into something that
you can go buy. BUT...he will brag that his wife paid someone a
lot of money to custom make a blanket for a wedding gift.
#Post#: 26036--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: Kimberami Date: February 15, 2019, 7:53 am
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It would be extremely helpful to tell the recipient how the
homemade gift should be cared for, cleaned, and/or preserved.
Lots of people have no idea how to take care of something like a
handcrafted baby blanket. That kind of uneasiness can lead to a
gift going unused.
This is going to sound fun, but I would appreciate being told to
actually use (rather than save) a pretty quilt. Please tell me
if I'm intended to put this on my bed or if it should be made
into a wall hanging. I guess I'm a silly person who keeps things
for good rather than putting them to daily use.
#Post#: 26040--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: oogyda Date: February 15, 2019, 9:01 am
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[quote author=Kimpossible link=topic=994.msg26036#msg26036
date=1550238832]
It would be extremely helpful to tell the recipient how the
homemade gift should be cared for, cleaned, and/or preserved.
Lots of people have no idea how to take care of something like a
handcrafted baby blanket. That kind of uneasiness can lead to a
gift going unused.
This is going to sound fun, but I would appreciate being told to
actually use (rather than save) a pretty quilt. Please tell me
if I'm intended to put this on my bed or if it should be made
into a wall hanging. I guess I'm a silly person who keeps things
for good rather than putting them to daily use.
[/quote]
Regarding the bolded: That's not silly at all. In fact it
seems to be a nice compromise between a lovely item never seeing
the light of day and being "overappreciated".
In truth, it really depends on the item. My grandmother made it
clear that she preferred we use what she made for us, but that
doesn't mean I should use the delicate crocheted tablecloth
every day. Two or three times a year is sufficient. Whereas
she enjoyed seeing that sweater I asked for frequently.
#Post#: 26045--------------------------------------------------
Re: Handmade gifts
By: Pattycake Date: February 15, 2019, 9:31 am
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[quote author=Kimpossible link=topic=994.msg26036#msg26036
date=1550238832]
It would be extremely helpful to tell the recipient how the
homemade gift should be cared for, cleaned, and/or preserved.
Lots of people have no idea how to take care of something like a
handcrafted baby blanket. That kind of uneasiness can lead to a
gift going unused.
This is going to sound fun, but I would appreciate being told to
actually use (rather than save) a pretty quilt. Please tell me
if I'm intended to put this on my bed or if it should be made
into a wall hanging. I guess I'm a silly person who keeps things
for good rather than putting them to daily use.
[/quote]
I do this ALL the time - tell people to use the quilt I give
them! It would be nice if it became a family heirloom for them
in the future, but only because they used it and loved it and
took care of it.
It can go the other way too, in that I have one friend that has
used her children's quilts too much. I do not know why, but I
don't think she ever put them on the kids' beds. Instead, they
were used to protect the sofas. They live in the country, and
the kids were often unwashed! They weren't filthy or stinky,
just they really should have been bathed a little more often. So
those quilts make me cringe when I see them, but I am also of
the opinion that once you have given something away, it's for
the recipient to do with as they please. But, it's also why the
only one in that family that has received another quilt is the
middle daughter who no longer lives at home. She doesn't use
bleach in most of her laundry as her mother does, and she does
take care of the quilts while using them!
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