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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 26618--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: peony Date: February 22, 2019, 6:47 am
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[quote author=andicatt link=topic=679.msg26588#msg26588
date=1550777214]
Just found this today - made me laugh!
https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-brain-freeze-moments-paul-coxon/?cexp_id=16078…
[/quote]
Some years ago when library card catalogs were still in use, a
friend of mine was searching through the religious section of
the card catalog and had a brain fart, found herself wondering
"Bibble? What's a Bibble? Oh, Bible, oops..."
#Post#: 26652--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: Asharah Date: February 22, 2019, 7:58 pm
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[quote author=STiG link=topic=679.msg26610#msg26610
date=1550800440]
A Facebook page I've been introduced to has some very funny
stuff. The one I shared this morning? Top panel says
'Reporting Live: a truck hauling nuts has overturned' It shows
a squirrel in the foreground. The next panel? Shows a very fat
squirrel with the caption 'I regret nothing.'
[/quote]
Reminds me of a certain GEICO commercial[emoji883]
#Post#: 31400--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: Pattycake Date: May 18, 2019, 10:15 pm
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Scottish Granny reading to her grandson - these are the most
hilarious things I have seen in a long time. I am ordering the
books for my young friend who is expecting her first child this
year!
The first one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x4gD4Llj34
The second one (couldn't find a direct link to youtube)
http://librointernational.blogspot.com/2018/09/the-scottish-granny-reads-i-need…
#Post#: 31555--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: jpcher Date: May 21, 2019, 4:05 pm
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Thanks for posting those, Pattycake!
I have seen the first one before and remember laughing so hard
tears were running down my face. Absolutely hysterical! Well
worth watching again.
AND! Buying those books as gifts? Priceless! I'm going to a
one-year bday party this weekend, are they on Amazon? I wonder
if I can get them in time.
eta: Yes! Amazon is my friend! Will be delivered tomorrow. ;D
Here's the link to The Wonky Donkey:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0545261244/ref=ox_sc_act_image_1?smid=ATVPDKI…
I'm not going to get the second one because I already have other
gifts. But here's the link for it:
https://www.amazon.com/Need-New-Bum-Dawn-McMillan/dp/1407196014/ref=sr_1_1?crid…
THANKS! Pattycake!
#Post#: 34839--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: NewHomeowner Date: July 18, 2019, 6:22 am
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[quote author=wonderfullyanonymous
link=topic=679.msg22079#msg22079 date=1545447155]
A Christmas Classic!! I still can't make it through without
laughing so hard, I have tears in my eyes!
As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over
his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for
Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list
twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although
Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly
empty. One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on
sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They
don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult
bookstore downtown.
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go, you'll only
confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What
does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who would buy that?"
Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also
substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car
pool lane during rush hour.
Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many
different models. The top of the line, according to the side of
the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal
husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Thelma'. She was at the bottom
of the price scale. To call Thelma a 'doll' took a huge leap of
imagination.
On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump,
Thelma came to life.
My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee
morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the
dangling pantyhose with Thelma's pliant legs and bottom. I also
ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a
nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to
his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but
had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away,
then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Thelma should remain in her pantyhose so the
rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the
traditional Christmas dinner.
My grandmother noticed Thelma the moment she walked in the door.
"What the hell is that?" she asked.
My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll." "Who would play
with something like that?" Granny snapped.
I kept my mouth shut.
"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued. "Boy, that turkey
sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, to steer her into the dining
room.
But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"
Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas
and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying,
"Hang on Granny, hang on!"
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled
up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"
I told him she was Jay's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to
Thelma. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then
that we realised this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had
died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly
Thelma made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the
morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room
twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat
screeched. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa
ran across
the room, fell to his knees, and began administering
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat
in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my
brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide
the cause of Thelma's collapse. We discovered that Thelma had
suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we
restored her to perfect health.
I can't wait until next Christmas.
[/quote]
When I found this story a long time ago, it was Lovely Louise,
but the rest of the story was the same.
Makes me laugh like a hyena every time. EVERY time. Do Not
Read This At Work.
#Post#: 34840--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: NewHomeowner Date: July 18, 2019, 6:24 am
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Apparently this is a hoax story, but it's still funny:
https://www.cnet.com/forums/discussions/hilarious-dog-story-317743/
#Post#: 34868--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: jpcher Date: July 18, 2019, 2:29 pm
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[quote author=LadyJaneinMD link=topic=679.msg34840#msg34840
date=1563449088]
Apparently this is a hoax story, but it's still funny:
https://www.cnet.com/forums/discussions/hilarious-dog-story-317743/
[/quote]
May be a hoax, but it's well written. ;D
#Post#: 34887--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: Snowfire Date: July 18, 2019, 11:57 pm
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Hoax or not, one of the funniest things I've ever read! I can
SOOOO see some of the dogs I've known doing that, they were 4
legged mobile garbage cans.
#Post#: 39350--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: bopper Date: September 26, 2019, 3:13 pm
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Read the comments about the WW cards:
http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html
#Post#: 39353--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny Posts from Elsewhere
By: jpcher Date: September 26, 2019, 3:36 pm
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Oh.My.
Is it wrong of me to want to see the recipes for some of these
delicacies?
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