| Return Create A Forum - Home | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Bad Manners and Brimstone | |
| https://badmanners.createaforum.com | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| ***************************************************** | |
| Return to: LOLs | |
| ***************************************************** | |
| #Post#: 4154-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: Reika Date: June 1, 2018, 9:00 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=Chez Miriam link=topic=42.msg4115#msg4115 | |
| date=1527869631] | |
| Runningstar's post reminded me of a time when I was asked to do | |
| something at the butler's flat where I worked [forget what; it's | |
| not important]. He and his wife were away, but I needed to do | |
| <whatever> and had to go outside. Bearing in mind this flat is | |
| on the 6th [maybe 7th] floor of a grand house converted to | |
| offices in central London, there was no garden... | |
| But it was clearly the <ahem> latrine for the chihuahas. My | |
| first instinct was to scoop, as I used to go and tidy up after | |
| the cleaners at the other flats the company owned (so the | |
| cleaners wouldn't get into trouble), but then I thought "hey, | |
| they live like this, they must be happy with it like that" so I | |
| beat a hasty retreat. | |
| I think that might have been around the time I started to | |
| generate a spine? ;D | |
| [/quote] | |
| Not sure if I posted this on the old board or not. | |
| There's a small feral cat colony that mom and I take care of at | |
| our apartment complex. Like most indoor cats, when they poop, | |
| they bury it. In fact, most of the time they dig an impressive | |
| hole to do their thing, then spend quite a bit of time burying | |
| the evidence. | |
| The dog owners in the complex let their dogs poop wherever they | |
| feel like it, despite the rules on having a designated area. | |
| One day one of the neighbors starts yelling at mom and me about | |
| the cats leaving poop everywhere. His evidence was this giant | |
| pile that was half the size of one of the cats. It was far too | |
| big to have come from one our little ferals. If it did come from | |
| a cat, it would have to have come from a wild cat. | |
| As this guy is ranting and we're about to go back inside, one of | |
| the large dogs runs up to the guy. He absently pets it, then it | |
| squats and leaves a sizable deposit next to him. | |
| He stared at it for a moment and walked off without saying | |
| anything else. | |
| #Post#: 4156-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: Mel the Redcap Date: June 1, 2018, 9:14 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Not very gross but amusing and fits here better than anywhere | |
| else: | |
| A few days ago, my cat was snuggled up to me in bed and we were | |
| both settling down towards sleep, her purring and kneading, me | |
| reading on my phone. Then I fumbled my phone and dropped it (on | |
| my head, well done Mel!) and startled her so badly that she | |
| launched across the room, using my left boob as a springboard. | |
| I now have a perfect pawprint bruise on my boob, complete with | |
| little toebean marks. ;D | |
| #Post#: 4157-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: Pattycake Date: June 1, 2018, 9:19 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=Mel the Redcap link=topic=42.msg4156#msg4156 | |
| date=1527905678] | |
| Not very gross but amusing and fits here better than anywhere | |
| else: | |
| A few days ago, my cat was snuggled up to me in bed and we were | |
| both settling down towards sleep, her purring and kneading, me | |
| reading on my phone. Then I fumbled my phone and dropped it (on | |
| my head, well done Mel!) and startled her so badly that she | |
| launched across the room, using my left boob as a springboard. | |
| I now have a perfect pawprint bruise on my boob, complete with | |
| little toebean marks. ;D | |
| [/quote] | |
| :o Ow!! | |
| #Post#: 4249-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: vintagegal Date: June 3, 2018, 7:12 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| I went into the barn/garage the other day to get out my screens | |
| (I rent). I noticed a board about 2 feet long on the floor, with | |
| what looked like sewing machine foot pedals on it. On closer | |
| examination, nope, they were squirrel traps, put there by the | |
| pest control people, and had caught 3 chipmunks in various | |
| stages of decay. Poor chipmunks - they weren't the problem. | |
| DH's cousin had a dog that she would let out on the deck to do | |
| its business on the snow, in the winter time. We visited about | |
| this time of year. Deck was still covered in poops. | |
| #Post#: 4563-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: Editeer Date: June 5, 2018, 4:48 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=vintagegal link=topic=42.msg4249#msg4249 | |
| date=1528027936] | |
| DH's cousin had a dog that she would let out on the deck to do | |
| its business on the snow, in the winter time. We visited about | |
| this time of year. Deck was still covered in poops. | |
| [/quote] | |
| The house next door had a flat roof over part of the second | |
| story, which you could reach from a door in the third story. The | |
| roof always leaked when the rain came from a certain direction, | |
| as our neighbor told us. New neighbors moved in, with a dog. | |
| They let the dog out to poop on the roof. Didn't ever clean it | |
| off. I can't imagine what was leaking down into the walls. | |
| Later, the man decided to start a vegetable garden. He carefully | |
| dug dog poop into the soil to prepare it. Didn't know about | |
| composting it first. He had to dig it all out again. | |
| #Post#: 4786-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: ZekailleTasker Date: June 8, 2018, 12:33 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| My beloved Sis in Law is a pet sitter. Among her charges is a | |
| lovable little beagle with a cast iron gut. When her doggie | |
| daycare was in its early days and she was still cleaning the | |
| place out, she was horrified to see Little Beagle had dragged an | |
| old box of rat poison from under a sink and was happily eating | |
| the whole thing. | |
| Sis called his owner in hysterics to find out which vet the | |
| owner preferred. The owner, who must be the most laid back | |
| person on the planet said "Oh, hon, if anything happens, call me | |
| back. He gets into stuff like that all the time. He ate a | |
| mouse trap once." | |
| Sure enough, Little Beagle wasn't just fine, he thrived! When | |
| he got home that night he got into the other dogs' food and was | |
| in fine fettle. The next day, I went with Sis and we took L.B. | |
| along because we were stopping by his owner's home to feed two | |
| enormous parrots and clean their cages. I'm not a fan of birds, | |
| but L.B. thinks they are just two legged dogs with wings. To | |
| clean their cages, Sis opened a trap at the bottom of the cage, | |
| allowing the bird poo to fall thru. | |
| "You might not want to see this," she cautioned me just as LB | |
| shot forward to "clean" the floor. | |
| "Does his owner know you do that?" | |
| "Who do you think showed me how to do it?" | |
| Gross Dog # 2 belongs to my brother: She also eats anything | |
| that isn't nailed down. Since taking her in, my brother, | |
| Sis-in-law and their daughter have lost several pairs of socks | |
| which Lizzie the dog has eaten. Bottle caps? She loves them. | |
| And then there was my TMJ device. Knowing that Lizzie ate every | |
| small thing she found, I deliberately kept the bite plate on top | |
| of a high bureau in the guest room. I wasn't counting on Lizzie | |
| dashing through the room, trampolining onto the bed and knocking | |
| my bite plate out of my hand while I was putting it away. I | |
| managed to grab half of it before she got it. | |
| The other half...well...my brother took her for a walk and | |
| reported back that "We found my red socks. No sign of your bite | |
| plate yet...." | |
| I told him I really didn't want it back even if he found it. | |
| #Post#: 4797-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: Aleko Date: June 8, 2018, 7:01 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| A colleague of mine got engaged, and went with her fiance at the | |
| weekend to meet his family, who live a rural country life on a | |
| smallholding. She came back into the office on Monday whimpering | |
| faintly: his mother served up Sunday lunch with lovely fresh | |
| organic vegetables just pulled out of the ground - | |
| unfortunately, Mum and the rest of the family were apparently | |
| all too long-sighted to spot that the cabbages were infested | |
| with caterpillars the same shade of green as the leaves, and | |
| that washing hadn't dislodged all of them. Of course my | |
| colleague didn't want to make a bad impression on her beloved's | |
| family or appear to dislike her prospective MIL's cooking, so | |
| felt obliged to swallow everything she was given.... | |
| #Post#: 5888-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: HenrysMom Date: June 18, 2018, 12:47 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| At my new apartment complex, we have ducks, squirrels, turtles, | |
| fish, crustaceans, ...and bugs, most notably roaches. So far, | |
| they�ve remained outside my apartment (I use the sonic thingys, | |
| tea tree and peppermint oil, and bay leaves to keep them away, | |
| as well as having pest control out). So, I never see them, | |
| except late at night when I walk my dog. A few nights ago, I | |
| forgot my key and was locked out for at least an hour until I | |
| saw the faint glow of a neighbor�s IPad. At night, the roaches | |
| rule - they were all over the place and had no compunction about | |
| �hissing� at Henry and myself. | |
| #Post#: 6664-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: Copper Horsewoman Date: June 25, 2018, 10:02 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| And just as I was thinking, we haven't had a good gross out | |
| recently. Well, you get what you wish for. | |
| My cat, Turner, woke me up with that sound so well known to cat | |
| servants. He was on a dresser, preparing to hurl into the very | |
| full hamper of laundry. I rose quickly, grabbed him and set him | |
| on the floor. Where he walked over to the t-shirt my DH had | |
| missed the hamper with and decorated that. Turner was determined | |
| to "get" some piece of clothing that day, I guess. That sound | |
| would make a devastatingly effective alarm sound for even the | |
| heaviest sleeper..... | |
| #Post#: 6698-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Gross Out (Not for the faint of heart redux) | |
| By: wonderfullyanonymous Date: June 25, 2018, 2:47 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=Copper Horsewoman link=topic=42.msg6664#msg6664 | |
| date=1529938939] | |
| And just as I was thinking, we haven't had a good gross out | |
| recently. Well, you get what you wish for. | |
| My cat, Turner, woke me up with that sound so well known to cat | |
| servants. He was on a dresser, preparing to hurl into the very | |
| full hamper of laundry. I rose quickly, grabbed him and set him | |
| on the floor. Where he walked over to the t-shirt my DH had | |
| missed the hamper with and decorated that. Turner was determined | |
| to "get" some piece of clothing that day, I guess. That sound | |
| would make a devastatingly effective alarm sound for even the | |
| heaviest sleeper..... | |
| [/quote] | |
| I have woke up from a dead sleep and booted a cat off a bed | |
| faster than an alarm clock ever woke me up. | |
| ***************************************************** | |
| Previous Page | |
| Next Page |