Introduction
Introduction Statistics Contact Development Disclaimer Help
Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
Return to: Entertaining and Hospitality
*****************************************************
#Post#: 81719--------------------------------------------------
Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: jpcher Date: January 3, 2025, 2:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I was voluntold (due to a surprise visit ;D) by my two DDs that
I would be making the traditional Cornish hen dinner for the
Saturday after Christmas. Which was fine, I love that they (and
I) enjoy that meal so much. I serve one hen per person.
As an important side note, part of this tradition is using the
bones for a stock along with any leftover meat for a wild rice
soup.
Invite start time was 4:00. DD#1's DHsam and his mom (Nancy)
show up about 20 minutes late, which was fine, I didn't plan on
serving dinner until 4:30 anyway, giving us some time to chat
before the meal.
But by 4:30, when everything is ready to serve, Nancy's
significant other (Otto) hasn't shown up yet. She politely went
to a different room to call him in order to find out his eta.
She came back and said "He's running late. Let's go ahead and
eat."
So, I served the meal, everybody was happy, a friendly delicious
time. I ate only 1/2 my hen (with all the side dishes, that
filled me up.) Nancy ate about 1/2 of her hen and said "I'm so
full! I'm going to bring the rest of this home with me." I said
"No problem, glad you enjoy it so much!"
Otto showed up 40 minutes later, our meal was pretty much done
by that time. He was welcomed, served a hen and whatever was
left of the sides. He nibbled. I mean he only ate a few bites of
the hen and a couple of bites of the sides.
Granted, we were finishing our meal so maybe he felt
uncomfortable eating in front of us. But! He's done this before,
not being late for the meal, but only nibbling when he fills his
plate with food.
Okay, I'm ranting now . . . back to the point. While I was
clearing the table, Nancy came to the kitchen with a plate of
her hen and Otto's barely touched hen along with all of the
leftover stuffing, gravy, beans, etc., and saw a piece of tin
foil on my counter "Can I use this for our leftovers?" I was
surprised, but to be polite, offered her a take-out container
instead.
Part of me was stunned by the amount of food that they were
taking home with them.
Part of me was thinking I made enough food for you to eat while
you were here, so it's okay for you to take it home. (I mean,
does it make a difference if you eat it here or there?)
Part of me was thinking that's a lot of meat (and bones) that
would have worked nicely in my soup.
What do you say? Should I have handled this differently? What
would you have done? Any thoughts would be appreciated! ;D
#Post#: 81720--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: EmmaJ Date: January 3, 2025, 4:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
This infuriates me. I can�t tell you how many times I�ve had
people over for Thanksgiving, and they arrive with empty
Tupperware expecting to take my food home. I shut that nonsense
down pretty quickly, politely but firmly.
I bought and cooked that food. Leftovers are mine!
I would have packed up her leftovers but not Otto�s, explaining
your intention of making wild rice soup.
#Post#: 81722--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: Aleko Date: January 4, 2025, 4:36 am
---------------------------------------------------------
You were in no way obligated to give anyone any leftovers to
take home. Your home is not a restaurant, it’s not as
though they had ordered and paid for their meals.* IMHO, not
even Nancy’s portion is not actually her own to do with as
she likes, though to be sure it would have been a bit
mean-spirited to refuse her it if she asked nicely. But the
leftovers in general were totally yours, and you were 100%
entitled to smile and say ‘Sorry, I have plans for the
rest of that meat’.
* Guests/family members asking, let alone expecting to take
leftovers home is much less a thing this side of the Pond;
I’ve never experienced or heard of anyone doing so. (The
host offering it, sure; but that’s different.) I wonder if
the size of US restaurant servings is the cause of this?
I’m told they are routinely more than the average person
can eat at a sitting, so that it’s quite normal to order
half of one’s meal boxed up to take home. Maybe the people
who assume that the leftovers from a family meal are or should
be theirs to take home if they want are just carrying over that
behaviour from restaurant eating?
#Post#: 81723--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: Rose Red Date: January 4, 2025, 8:13 am
---------------------------------------------------------
It's rude to take all the leftover side dishes, but I can
understand them taking home the hens and sides on their plates
if they already ate from it, since I'd figure the host wouldn't
want food that's been "tainted" by a guest's "germs."
If you plan on leftovers, I read that a trick is that hosts
should keep a portion of food apart from the food served to
guests since you never know if there will be leftovers or if
someone accidentally sneeze over the potatoes. Even a
Thanksgiving turkey can be presented at the table to ohhh and
ahhh over, then taken to the kitchen to carve so the host can
set some aside. Should the hosts have to do those tricks? No!
But we don't live in a perfect world with perfect guests. Also,
cheerfully speak up if you don't want them taking leftovers.
#Post#: 81725--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: Hmmm Date: January 6, 2025, 11:49 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm of the opinion that once the food is on someone's plate, it
really isn't suitable for leftovers for anyone other than the
person to whom it had been served. So I would have rather they
took the remaining portion home rather than me throwing it away.
Now if I had served him a half of a hen and he asked to take the
other half that was still untouched home, it would have been
irritating.
#Post#: 81726--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: katiekat2009 Date: January 6, 2025, 12:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I wouldn't invite Otto any more.
#Post#: 81728--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: jpcher Date: January 6, 2025, 2:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Hmmm and Rose Red -- Thanks for the comments about not using
leftovers that were on someone else's plate. Truth is that I've
never made this meal for anybody other than immediate family
before. So, I never thought twice about using the leftover meat
that was on the DDs (and DHsam) plate. With the soup being
served to just the same people that ate the meal. Is that gross?
Should I stop doing that?
Granted, at a regular dinner party, any food left on plates gets
tossed. I do not scrounge the plates for possible reusable
leftovers.
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2624.msg81722#msg81722
date=1735987005]
* Guests/family members asking, let alone expecting to take
leftovers home is much less a thing this side of the Pond; I�ve
never experienced or heard of anyone doing so. (The host
offering it, sure; but that�s different.) I wonder if the size
of US restaurant servings is the cause of this? I�m told they
are routinely more than the average person can eat at a sitting,
so that it�s quite normal to order half of one�s meal boxed up
to take home. Maybe the people who assume that the leftovers
from a family meal are or should be theirs to take home if they
want are just carrying over that behaviour from restaurant
eating?
[/quote]
From my experience, it isn't normal for people to expect or even
ask to take home leftovers from a dinner party.
I don't think it has anything to do with restaurant portions
either. Me? I always go home from a restaurant with a doggie
bag. I find the restaurant portions are rather large and I think
"Oh! Goody! I have dinner for the next day or two." I've seen
healthy, fit people eat the entire portion and I think "How can
you eat so much and still stay so thin?"
I think that there's a certain type of people that maybe might
feel entitled to leftovers from a home-guested dinner party. I
mean, if it were my mother or daughters, I wouldn't have had a
problem with this if they asked (but don't due to their polite
upbringing ;D.)
Thanks for your responses! I'll give them a pass this time.
Oh, and Rose Red? I think next time I'll make an extra bird just
for the meat for soup. Thanks!
#Post#: 81729--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: lowspark Date: January 8, 2025, 11:32 am
---------------------------------------------------------
This is one of those situations where you are flabbergasted in
the moment and react differently than you will next time with
the benefit of hindsight.
Ideally you would have offered to pack up THEIR leftovers but
not ALL the rest of everything.
I think both Nancy and Otto have an entitled attitude about
taking home leftovers from a dinner party. The fact that Otto
overfilled his plate, then nibbled, indicates that his intent
was always to take home your good cooking for his later
consumption. I find all of his behavior rude beginning with his
very late arrival.
I have NEVER seen anyone ask, much less presume that leftovers
are up for grabs like that.
I've seen many hosts offer! And I will often take them up on
that offer.
I used to belong to a Supper Club where everyone contributed to
a theme dinner hosted on a rotating basis. The agreement (from
the get-go) was that we'd split up all the leftovers and we
brought our own containers. But again, that was the way that
club worked and we all agreed to it.
I would think twice about inviting Nancy and Otto again. But
seeing as how they are part of the family now, if you are
obligated to invite them, plan for it.
Plate the dinner and/or don't leave the leftovers sitting out.
#Post#: 81731--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: AtHomeRose Date: January 9, 2025, 3:22 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Without more details I just can�t think of Nancy and Otto as
rude, I think this is a case of the style of the meal (whole
Cornish hens) being one where guests didn�t have much choice in
portions size.
Was all of the food Nancy and Otto took home on their plates
while they were eating?
The way I read the original post that seems to be the case. Otto
was served a Hen and whatever was left of the sides. Meaning he
was given the last Hen and all of the side still left when he
got there. If Nancy only took home the food on their plates,
that is not at all rude. Food on a plate that a guest is eating
from will go in the trash if not taken by the guest. I have
never heard or seen a host pick uneaten food off of a guest�s
plate. I get you might for your own plate or maybe even your
kids plates, but not for a guest�s plate.
I can see why Nancy thought it best to take the uneaten food
from their own plates home and not just throw it is the trash.
It also sounds like some folks are also faulting Otto for taking
more than he could eat, but was he offered a smaller part of the
Hen before being served the whole Hen? If there wasn�t an easy
or obvious way to take only a small part of the Hen then I can�t
fault him for his potion size.
If you want to serve this meal to guests outside your household
in the future you might want to half the Hens to serve. That
way if folks are still hungry, they can get a second half but if
not, you can keep those halves for your own use later.
#Post#: 81732--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guests bringing home leftovers . . .
By: NFPwife Date: January 10, 2025, 8:02 am
---------------------------------------------------------
AtHomeRose summed this up well for me. I think most guests would
assume that food on their plate would end up in the trash and by
taking that food, they're avoiding food waste. Asking to take
food remaining in the serving dished or kitchen would be rude.
This comes down to your having a plan for the food on their
plate which is atypical. I thought a lot about using their bones
and meat for soup and it gave me an ick, but I'm a little more
of a germaphobe than most so initially I thought maybe that was
just me.
The solution of halving the birds is a great idea and might make
them easier to eat at the table.
*****************************************************
Next Page
You are viewing proxied material from gopher.createaforum.com. The copyright of proxied material belongs to its original authors. Any comments or complaints in relation to proxied material should be directed to the original authors of the content concerned. Please see the disclaimer for more details.