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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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Return to: The Work Day
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#Post#: 79503--------------------------------------------------
Frustrated; need help and advice
By: spunkyboy08 Date: June 19, 2023, 11:14 am
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I have been working as a fuel center clerk for a *major grocery
store chain* since 2020.
The *major grocery store chain* has their fuel centers located
in the same area where their grocery stores are located.
I was asked by the fuel center lead earlier this year if I would
be interested in becoming the lead.
She told me that she was moving up within our employer.
Roughly a month later the store manager asked me if I would like
to become the fuel center lead.
I was honored that he thought of me as a lead, and so I said
yes.
A department manager who works at the grocery store is also over
the fuel center.
She has been over the fuel center for several years.
I was told by the fuel center employee who trained me in 2020
that this particular department manager was over the fuel center
when he started working there in 2014.
She makes the fuel center work schedule, staffs the fuel center,
is supposed to order merchandise for the fuel center, and so on
I was in training to become the fuel center lead starting in
Februarly of this year
2 weeks ago I was certified as fuel center lead by the District
Manager over the *major grocery store chain* fuel centers in the
city where I live.
The day after I was certifed was one of my off days, and so my
husband, I and a friend of his went out to dinner to celebrate.
I left my iphone at home since I was off that day.
When I go home there was a voicemail message from the department
manager asking me what do we do when the fuel pumps shut down.
Apparently there was a storm in the area where the fuel center
is located that knocked out the power to the fuel pumps.
2 employees were working there at that time, and both of them
have been working for the *major grocery store chain* for a
while.
There was a fuel center clerk and a store employee working at
the fuel center at that time, and the fuel center clerk was
training the store employee as back up fuel center staff.
The phone number for the help desk is located inside the fuel
center kiosk.
The department manager over the fuel center referred me to the
help desk number while I was training as a fuel center clerk
back in 2020 regarding any issues with the fuel pumps.
So, I did not understand why she left me that voicemail.
A week after that incident happend, I received an e-mail at my
work address regarding a meeting that is being held for the fuel
center leads at the end of this month.
The body of the e-mail stated the following...
Fuel center lead meeting at location 913
I replied to the e-mail asking "What is the address for location
913?" and carbon copied my resposne to the department manager
over the fuel center.
Several days later the department manager told me in person the
that what I did was unprofessional.
When I asked her why was it unprofessional, her response was "We
do no do that here. We generally do not respond to those types
of e-mails. We keep everything in house. Senior Management sends
those e-mails, and they do not want to see those types of
responses. Senior Management does not care to see those types of
responses."
I am frustrated because the department manager really did not
answer my question as to why my response was unprofessional.
Plus I am frustrated that she called me on my off day to ask
what do the fuel center clerks do when the fuel pumps shut down
when the number for the help desk is located inside the fuel
center kiosk, which she knows.
What is the best way to deal with her now that I report to her?
#Post#: 79505--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: Hmmm Date: June 19, 2023, 4:21 pm
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Question 1: Being contacted on your day off. I'm not sure why
this bothered you so much. It doesn't sound like they were upset
that you weren't' readily available. There was an emergency and
they were trying to find the quickest way to address the
emergency. My daughter is in retail management and she'll get
the occasional test during her off hours. It's usually something
that can be handled in under a minute. If it is a daily thing, I
could get being upset, but till then I suggest letting it go.
Question 2: Your Department Manager is passing on company
culture to you. I don't think I'd call it unprofessional, but if
the culture is those types of administrative questions are
handled within the confines of the store then that is the
culture you should adopt. If the email came from say a regional
manager, then I agree with your department manager that asking
someone at that level of clarity was not the most appropriate
way to handle it. If you don't know where to look up store
numbers, that is a good opportunity for you to contact your
department manager and say "Hi, I received this email but
realized I do not know where to look up store numbers. Can you
tell me how to find that out?" For me, a good rule of thumb is
who is the person closest to me in rank that can answer my
question.
#Post#: 79507--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: spunkyboy08 Date: June 19, 2023, 4:50 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2511.msg79505#msg79505
date=1687209686]
Question 2: Your Department Manager is passing on company
culture to you. I don't think I'd call it unprofessional, but if
the culture is those types of administrative questions are
handled within the confines of the store then that is the
culture you should adopt. If the email came from say a regional
manager, then I agree with your department manager that asking
someone at that level of clarity was not the most appropriate
way to handle it. If you don't know where to look up store
numbers, that is a good opportunity for you to contact your
department manager and say "Hi, I received this email but
realized I do not know where to look up store numbers. Can you
tell me how to find that out?" For me, a good rule of thumb is
who is the person closest to me in rank that can answer my
question.
[/quote]
Then why did the department manager not tell me that this is how
the company culture is?
Why could she have not just used her words and tell me that?
I am not a mind reader.
#Post#: 79508--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 19, 2023, 6:45 pm
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[quote author=spunkyboy08 link=topic=2511.msg79507#msg79507
date=1687211432]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2511.msg79505#msg79505
date=1687209686]
Question 2: Your Department Manager is passing on company
culture to you. I don't think I'd call it unprofessional, but if
the culture is those types of administrative questions are
handled within the confines of the store then that is the
culture you should adopt. If the email came from say a regional
manager, then I agree with your department manager that asking
someone at that level of clarity was not the most appropriate
way to handle it. If you don't know where to look up store
numbers, that is a good opportunity for you to contact your
department manager and say "Hi, I received this email but
realized I do not know where to look up store numbers. Can you
tell me how to find that out?" For me, a good rule of thumb is
who is the person closest to me in rank that can answer my
question.
[/quote]
Then why did the department manager not tell me that this is how
the company culture is?
Why could she have not just used her words and tell me that?
I am not a mind reader.
[/quote]
Your department manager didn't come out and use the words
"company culture", but that is exactly what was being shared.
Why she didn't say that? Maybe she thought she did? Maybe she's
not a great communicator? Maybe you didn't understand what she
was trying to tell you? I'm not sure the why really matters,
though.
I can understand why you might feel irritated. You asked a
reasonable question in a reasonable way, only to be told that
this is not the way that the organization works. Rather than
seeing it as chastising, take it as an extremely helpful tip. If
you continue emailing in a way that is not done at your company,
you could upset someone higher on the food chain... this could
effect you poorly professionally. It sounds like management sees
great potential in you; it's a kindness that they are trying to
stop you from tarnishing that over something that you can
prevent.
I think Hmmm provided excellent advice on how to proceed from
here.
#Post#: 79510--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: oogyda Date: June 20, 2023, 7:09 am
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[quote author=spunkyboy08 link=topic=2511.msg79507#msg79507
date=1687211432]
Then why did the department manager not tell me that this is how
the company culture is?
Why could she have not just used her words and tell me that?
I am not a mind reader.
[/quote]
She did tell you that's how the company culture is when she used
her words to tell you:
"We do no do that here. We generally do not respond to those
types of e-mails. We keep everything in house. Senior Management
sends those e-mails, and they do not want to see those types of
responses. Senior Management does not care to see those types of
responses."
#Post#: 79512--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: spunkyboy08 Date: June 20, 2023, 10:02 am
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[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2511.msg79510#msg79510
date=1687262948]
[quote author=spunkyboy08 link=topic=2511.msg79507#msg79507
date=1687211432]
Then why did the department manager not tell me that this is how
the company culture is?
Why could she have not just used her words and tell me that?
I am not a mind reader.
[/quote]
She did tell you that's how the company culture is when she used
her words to tell you:
"We do no do that here. We generally do not respond to those
types of e-mails. We keep everything in house. Senior Management
sends those e-mails, and they do not want to see those types of
responses. Senior Management does not care to see those types of
responses."
[/quote]
But she could have told me our company culture is the
following.... instead of having me guess what she means. Just
tell me our company culture is this.
#Post#: 79513--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: TootsNYC Date: June 20, 2023, 10:16 am
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Now you're nitpicking language.
"we do not do that here" is the same meaning as "this is how our
company's culture is."
Not everyone will think of the term "company culture", but the
message was there "we do/don't do X here." You need to
understand the concept even when the language is not the same.
I'm not sure I love her "unprofessional" label, but I will tell
you this for your background information:
Asking the address of a location is behind-the-scenes info--it's
not that you shouldn't ask anyone, but you should ask a local
resource.
The person who called the meeting has other, bigger things on
their mind. And there are more appropriate off-line resources to
find that info. (like, the person who is immediately over your
head; or the company website/intranet).
That's something I learned as I rose in the organization's
chain, and this is apparently your first opportunity to learn
it. When you're low on the organization chart, you really only
have contact with your immediate boss, and so of course you ask
them stuff like this.
But now you're moving up, and you're in touch with a wider (and
higher) selection of people, so you have encountered this for
the first time. File it away.
I wish that manager had sounded more informative and less
punitive, but not everyone is good at that. And they WERE
informative--they gave you the "how things are done" and the
reason why.
Replying to the message that called the meeting asking for an
address is sort of like interrupting the lecture to ask the
teacher how to spell a word instead of looking it up in the
dictionary or glossary.
So, first, you're interrupting someone higher up, and in the
middle of other things, to ask them for something really basic.
It's "beneath their paycheck." Their paycheck is in dollars, and
a question about an address is nickels and dimes.
And there's a fellow nickel/dime person closer to you.
Add to that: you're not showing initiative. You are asking for
the person giving you the info to spoon-feed you everything.
There are ways to get that info on your own.
In a way, you did exactly the same thing as the person who
didn't look at the help-desk phone number on the wall.
#Post#: 79515--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: Rose Red Date: June 20, 2023, 11:15 am
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I agree with the previous posters. You made a mistake because
you were not aware of this unwritten rule. That is not a big
deal. Live and learn. We've all been there. Some "rules" in the
workplace are not in the instruction manuals and we all learn as
we go along. But now you are doubling down, and yes, nitpicking
the wording. Sorry, but some office culture is picked up as you
experience them, not something on a spreadsheet or handbook
because people can't think of every little thing to pass down.
My opinion was that your boss was fine if she handled it in a
calm tone and not a sneering one. She told you it's not
professional in your place of employment to give you a heads up
in how to handle it in the future (I think that's a kindness so
you don't continue bugging the head honcho by mistake). And
lessons like this will keep coming up even after years on the
job (in my experience).
My advice is to listen without getting defensive. It may feel
personal, but it's really isn't. Your boss is informing you
something you need to know if the situation comes up again.
#Post#: 79516--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: June 20, 2023, 9:46 pm
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One way I learned to handle situations like this was to treat
the interaction as if the person was being helpful. "Oh, good
to know. Thanks for the pointer!" said in a positive tone can
work wonders. You can train people in how you react to them. If
I make you feel that you are helpful and that I welcome your
input, then your input will become positive and helpful. If I
react with anger or hostility, then your input to me will become
aggressive and negative.
I'm not saying that you become a force of toxic positivity, but
reframing those interactions can help you a lot, not to mention,
make you feel better in general.
#Post#: 79518--------------------------------------------------
Re: Frustrated; need help and advice
By: IWish Date: June 21, 2023, 8:34 am
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[quote author=spunkyboy08 link=topic=2511.msg79503#msg79503
date=1687191298]
"We do no do that here. We generally do not respond to those
types of e-mails. We keep everything in house. Senior Management
sends those e-mails, and they do not want to see those types of
responses. Senior Management does not care to see those types of
responses."
[/quote]
I would argue that her response was more clear than just saying
it's not our company culture. She told you why it's frowned upon
(they don't care to see those responses) and what to do instead
(we keep everything in house.) As long as her tone was pleasant
and informative this was a valuable learning experience. I've
had to tell new employees not to cc everyone when responding to
an email. It's for their benefit - not to be "that" person.
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