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| Return to: Etiquette Phrases and Tactics | |
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| #Post#: 78513-------------------------------------------------- | |
| "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal with li | |
| ttle old me!" | |
| By: Aleko Date: January 26, 2023, 12:08 pm | |
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| I do think that this (and all variants thereof) is of the most | |
| unwelcome things a person can say, in any circumstances. If they | |
| actually love you and and are happy to have you along, it can be | |
| really hurtful to suggest that you don't believe this and are | |
| convinced they really wish you elsewhere. And in the ( let's | |
| face it, rather more likely) opposite case that they really are | |
| only putting up with you out of kindness, it just adds insult to | |
| their pain; they can't decently agree, so you're forcing them to | |
| declare insincerely 'No, no, it's no bother at all, we love | |
| having you!' | |
| Thank people, yes of course. But the more you suspect that you | |
| really are a complete bollard to them, the more you should avoid | |
| making remarks that oblige them to lie about it. | |
| #Post#: 78565-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: Lula Date: January 30, 2023, 1:49 pm | |
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| Person: "Oh, it must be such a pain dealing with me." | |
| Me: "Well, that's why God made alcohol." | |
| Somewhat related is when you confront someone on their terrible | |
| behavior toward you, and their "apology" consists of them | |
| verbally beating themselves to a pulp in an obvious bid for your | |
| pity. "I'm such a worthless person. I don't deserve to exist." | |
| It's a form of abuse in itself, really, trying to make you feel | |
| like the bad one for having confronted them for hurting you. | |
| #Post#: 78583-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: oogyda Date: January 31, 2023, 12:23 pm | |
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| Lula, I agree with you that those kinds of self-deprecating | |
| "apologies" are (or at least, can be) a form of abuse toward the | |
| one they are supposedly apologizing to. | |
| Narcissists use it to feed off of the expected response of "Oh, | |
| no. I like spending time with you." or whatever the situation | |
| warrants. | |
| I freely admit my response is colored by my own life experiences | |
| and your mileage may vary. | |
| #Post#: 78723-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: LeslieF Date: February 11, 2023, 11:04 am | |
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| Me: Yes. Yes it is. But we all have our crosses to bare. | |
| Also me: going to sit in the naughty corner. | |
| #Post#: 78728-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: shadowfox79 Date: February 12, 2023, 3:36 am | |
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| This reminds me a lot of my mother, whose toxicity has already | |
| led me to speak to three different therapists. | |
| I'll spare you the details, but one therapist asked me how I | |
| would have felt if Mum had apologised to me. My response was | |
| that I wouldn't have believed a word of it. Mum was very fond of | |
| the old "Oh, I'm such a terrible person!" nonsense, so even if | |
| she had meant her apology sincerely, I would have assumed it was | |
| her usual crap. | |
| I don't know why she continued trying that, because I was used | |
| to her and never gave her the response she wanted. | |
| #Post#: 79071-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: peony Date: March 30, 2023, 10:21 pm | |
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| I occasionally run into a similar situation at work. If you | |
| don't know anything about email that's OK! There's no shame in | |
| not knowing something, I'm paid to help you and I enjoy helping | |
| you. Just please take mental notes of what we're doing and don't | |
| keep coming in every week and telling me, oh, darn it, I can't | |
| remember how to log into my email, I'm so stupid, you'll have to | |
| show me again!" And then give a little chuckle as if that | |
| self-depreciation excuses you from remembering the simple | |
| procedure we have gone over twelve times already. | |
| Edited to add that I meant the metaphorical "you," not anyone in | |
| this forum! | |
| #Post#: 79490-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: gramma dishes Date: June 15, 2023, 6:00 pm | |
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| It is. You're right. It's terribly tiresome. So please don't | |
| mention it again. | |
| #Post#: 79786-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: Lkdrymom Date: August 2, 2023, 12:10 pm | |
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| My father would say to me "I'm sorry for being such a pest". My | |
| usual response was "Yet you still keep being one" knowing full | |
| well his hearing was lousy so most likely he never heard me. | |
| #Post#: 79791-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit | |
| h little old me!" | |
| By: Rain Date: August 3, 2023, 3:58 pm | |
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| 😆 | |
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