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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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Return to: Etiquette Phrases and Tactics
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#Post#: 78513--------------------------------------------------
"Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal with li
ttle old me!"
By: Aleko Date: January 26, 2023, 12:08 pm
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I do think that this (and all variants thereof) is of the most
unwelcome things a person can say, in any circumstances. If they
actually love you and and are happy to have you along, it can be
really hurtful to suggest that you don't believe this and are
convinced they really wish you elsewhere. And in the ( let's
face it, rather more likely) opposite case that they really are
only putting up with you out of kindness, it just adds insult to
their pain; they can't decently agree, so you're forcing them to
declare insincerely 'No, no, it's no bother at all, we love
having you!'
Thank people, yes of course. But the more you suspect that you
really are a complete bollard to them, the more you should avoid
making remarks that oblige them to lie about it.
#Post#: 78565--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: Lula Date: January 30, 2023, 1:49 pm
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Person: "Oh, it must be such a pain dealing with me."
Me: "Well, that's why God made alcohol."
Somewhat related is when you confront someone on their terrible
behavior toward you, and their "apology" consists of them
verbally beating themselves to a pulp in an obvious bid for your
pity. "I'm such a worthless person. I don't deserve to exist."
It's a form of abuse in itself, really, trying to make you feel
like the bad one for having confronted them for hurting you.
#Post#: 78583--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: oogyda Date: January 31, 2023, 12:23 pm
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Lula, I agree with you that those kinds of self-deprecating
"apologies" are (or at least, can be) a form of abuse toward the
one they are supposedly apologizing to.
Narcissists use it to feed off of the expected response of "Oh,
no. I like spending time with you." or whatever the situation
warrants.
I freely admit my response is colored by my own life experiences
and your mileage may vary.
#Post#: 78723--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: LeslieF Date: February 11, 2023, 11:04 am
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Me: Yes. Yes it is. But we all have our crosses to bare.
Also me: going to sit in the naughty corner.
#Post#: 78728--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: shadowfox79 Date: February 12, 2023, 3:36 am
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This reminds me a lot of my mother, whose toxicity has already
led me to speak to three different therapists.
I'll spare you the details, but one therapist asked me how I
would have felt if Mum had apologised to me. My response was
that I wouldn't have believed a word of it. Mum was very fond of
the old "Oh, I'm such a terrible person!" nonsense, so even if
she had meant her apology sincerely, I would have assumed it was
her usual crap.
I don't know why she continued trying that, because I was used
to her and never gave her the response she wanted.
#Post#: 79071--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: peony Date: March 30, 2023, 10:21 pm
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I occasionally run into a similar situation at work. If you
don't know anything about email that's OK! There's no shame in
not knowing something, I'm paid to help you and I enjoy helping
you. Just please take mental notes of what we're doing and don't
keep coming in every week and telling me, oh, darn it, I can't
remember how to log into my email, I'm so stupid, you'll have to
show me again!" And then give a little chuckle as if that
self-depreciation excuses you from remembering the simple
procedure we have gone over twelve times already.
Edited to add that I meant the metaphorical "you," not anyone in
this forum!
#Post#: 79490--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: gramma dishes Date: June 15, 2023, 6:00 pm
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It is. You're right. It's terribly tiresome. So please don't
mention it again.
#Post#: 79786--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: Lkdrymom Date: August 2, 2023, 12:10 pm
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My father would say to me "I'm sorry for being such a pest". My
usual response was "Yet you still keep being one" knowing full
well his hearing was lousy so most likely he never heard me.
#Post#: 79791--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Oh, it must be so tiresome for you to have to deal wit
h little old me!"
By: Rain Date: August 3, 2023, 3:58 pm
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😆
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