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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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Return to: Family and Children
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#Post#: 74602--------------------------------------------------
Strangers correcting children
By: baritone108 Date: March 31, 2022, 8:28 am
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Yesterday I took my granddaughters, ages 5 and 9, to a botanical
garden. The garden had 4 peacocks roaming the grounds and they
were calling to each other. My granddaughters were entranced,
especially when 1 of the peacocks settled into the grass and let
them approach without running away. They were able to get up to
about 2 feet away from the bird and made no attempt to get any
closer or to touch it. The 9 year old was able to imitate the
peacock's call which got the peacock to call back. This went on
for 5 to 8 minutes. NOTE: If you have never heard a peacock's
call, it is quite loud and can be heard from at least 1/3 of a
mile away.
While my granddaughter and the peacock were calling to each
other an older woman (garden visitor) came out of one of the
buildings. The peacock called and the woman said, "You're a
little loud." When my granddaughter called back the woman said,
"Yeah, you're a little loud." The woman sat down at a nearby
picnic table and continued to do this a few more times. I
wanted to very badly to say to her, "Yeah, you're a little rude"
but I didn't. I did laugh to myself as I wondered whether she
really thought the peacock would listen to her.
#Post#: 74605--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: sandisadie Date: March 31, 2022, 10:36 am
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I'm not a fan of children continuing to be loud for up to 10
minutes in a public place like a botanical garden. Had your
granddaughter called to the peacock a few times I wouldn't have
thought anything of it, but IMO you should have asked her to
stop when this other person appeared. If I had been her I would
have gone back into the building until the peacock and your
granddaughter stopped talking to each other.
#Post#: 74606--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: Aleko Date: March 31, 2022, 11:46 am
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[quote]While my granddaughter and the peacock were calling to
each other an older woman (garden visitor) came out of one of
the buildings. The peacock called and the woman said, "You're a
little loud." When my granddaughter called back the woman said,
"Yeah, you're a little loud." The woman sat down at a nearby
picnic table and continued to do this a few more times. I
wanted to very badly to say to her, "Yeah, you're a little rude"
but I didn't. I did laugh to myself as I wondered whether she
really thought the peacock would listen to her. [/quote]
No: she hoped you would listen to her. It sounds to me as
though, after having had to listen for more than 5 minutes not
only to the hideous screams of peacocks (which can't be
instructed to 'stop it and behave, for goodness' sake') but the
equally hideous sound of a child imitating them, she could bear
it no more. But, not wishing to be confrontational, she worked
out a jokey and non-confrontational way to request an end to the
godawful racket by addressing her complaint primarily to the
bird. She presumably hoped that if she made her dislike of all
this screaming plain in this way, even if the child didn't get
the message the parent would, and would tell her to stop. But
seemingly you didn't get it.
I don't think this woman was rude at all. We once had neighbours
half a mile away who took it into their heads to keep peacocks.
Every so often one would decide to come and spend the day
roosting in the trees next to our house, and the sound was so
hellish that my dad once seriously considered getting out his
shotgun and killing it. I'm afraid you were the rude one for
letting your granddaughter create a noise nuisance, and failing
to put an end to it when it was made clear to you that she was
annoying another visitor.
#Post#: 74607--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: baritone108 Date: March 31, 2022, 11:48 am
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[quote author=sandisadie link=topic=2316.msg74605#msg74605
date=1648741003]
I'm not a fan of children continuing to be loud for up to 10
minutes in a public place like a botanical garden. Had your
granddaughter called to the peacock a few times I wouldn't have
thought anything of it, but IMO you should have asked her to
stop when this other person appeared. If I had been her I would
have gone back into the building until the peacock and your
granddaughter stopped talking to each other.
[/quote]
1. It was less than 10 minutes.
2. There were other adults there who were laughing as the
'conversation' went on.
3. The woman continued to make the remark whether it was my
granddaughter or the peacock calling out.
4. I agree with you that it can get obnoxious if continuing for
a long time and I would have stopped my granddaughter if it had
done so. I wish the woman had just continued walking rather
than sitting at a table right by the 'conversation'. As it was,
we walked on and I am glad I didn't say anything to her.
#Post#: 74608--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: baritone108 Date: March 31, 2022, 11:53 am
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No: she hoped you would listen to her. It sounds to me as
though, after having had to listen for more than 5 minutes not
only to the hideous screams of peacocks (which can't be
instructed to 'stop it and behave, for goodness' sake') but the
equally hideous sound of a child imitating them, she could bear
it no more. But, not wishing to be confrontational, she worked
out a jokey and non-confrontational way to request an end to the
godawful racket by addressing her complaint primarily to the
bird. She presumably hoped that if she made her dislike of all
this screaming plain in this way, even if the child didn't get
the message the parent would, and would tell her to stop. But
seemingly you didn't get it.
I don't think this woman was rude at all. [/quote]
The woman didn't wait until listening for 5 minutes, she said
something as soon as she exited the building in response to the
peacock calling. I disagree and think she was rude but we are
each entitled to our opinions.
#Post#: 74609--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: Jem Date: March 31, 2022, 12:17 pm
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I agree with the posters who believe the "conversation" went on
for too long. I have not personally heard a peacock's call, but
especially if your granddaughter was matching the tone and
volume you described I think it was inappropriate to allow the
"conversation" beyond perhaps one or two back and forths.
Any time people are in public places I think we need to be aware
of how our behavior affects and is received by those around us.
For example, I think people who believe they have beautiful
voices and like the acoustics of a subway car so they "share
their gift" are being rude. Not everyone is going to agree that
the voice is beautiful, but more importantly not everyone wants
to listen to anyone singing in that context.
For the OP, the granddaughters are cute and the OP was
entertained by their antics. I can 100% understand why other
people were not amused, especially if this went on for 5-10
minutes. That is a very long time. I think that if anyone was
rude it was the OP and not the lady noting that the conversation
was loud. The lady could have simply moved on, but then she
likely paid admission to the botanical garden and should be
allowed to enjoy her visit.
#Post#: 74611--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 31, 2022, 2:13 pm
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=2316.msg74609#msg74609
date=1648747055]
I have not personally heard a peacock's call, but
[/quote]...
It can be very loud and very jarring. I used to live near a
neighbor who had them as pets. The one evening the police were
called because a woman was yelling "HELP!!!" It turned out to be
the peacocks and the caller had never heard them before. I have
found this to be the best way to describe their sound.
I agree, a few squawks back and forth might be cute, but I would
have put a stop to it after that. I also agree that this woman
was trying to get the OP's attention. However, I would have
suggested that she try to move on and find a quieter spot, but
sometimes that is not always possible.
There are certain places where I think children have the space
to play more loudly. The playground. Trampoline park. Ball
field. However, there are places where they need to learn how to
regulate their play to be quiet and not disturb others. I would
put the botanical gardens onto this list. When I'm there, I
anticipate a mostly quiet day amongst the flowers.
#Post#: 74612--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: Titanica Date: March 31, 2022, 2:14 pm
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If the woman was that bothered by it, why didn't she just go to
another area and come back to that one later? It's not like the
girl was going to be there making noises for the whole day. Or,
she could have spoke to the OP. It was her choice to sit down
at the table and make indirect comments the whole time. I think
she was at least a little bit rude.
#Post#: 74613--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: Wanaca Date: March 31, 2022, 2:41 pm
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A few calls back and forth would have been okay, but it was
allowed to go on way too long. I don't think the woman was rude
at all. Considering how long this racket went on, I'd say the
woman was the polite one in this situation.
#Post#: 74615--------------------------------------------------
Re: Strangers correcting children
By: Rose Red Date: March 31, 2022, 2:51 pm
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The peacock may have called out as nature intended, but it
continued because the child kept egging it on. Reminds me of
people who bark at a dog to rile it up. And peacocks can be
heard 1/3 miles away? Yeah, I don't blame the woman. Like the
previous poster said, imitating once or twice is fine, but it
went on way too long.
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