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| #Post#: 68147-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: Hmmm Date: July 13, 2021, 8:47 am | |
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| https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askamy/s-2538725?fs | |
| LW is upset the mother of her son's child insists that she calls | |
| before dropping by. But poor little LW wasn't raised like that | |
| and thinks the mother of the child needs medication or therapy. | |
| Loved Ask Amy's response. | |
| #Post#: 68148-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: BeagleMommy Date: July 13, 2021, 8:54 am | |
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| Wow. The LW could have avoided all this by simply calling first | |
| which is not an unheard of thing. | |
| My family was always a "just drop by" kind of family. My SIL is | |
| not. Her house, her family, her rules. If I want to see my | |
| brother and/or nieces I always call first. | |
| If the LW's son was bothered by his wife's boundaries with his | |
| mom he needs to be the one to speak up. It doesn't seem like | |
| this bothers him. | |
| #Post#: 68155-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: Lilipons Date: July 13, 2021, 10:35 am | |
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| I agree with the mother of the child. In this day and age there | |
| is no excuse not to give notice and ask permission before | |
| visiting. I grew up in a very small town during the 1950s. | |
| Not everyone had a phone but, barring a real emergency, dropping | |
| in with no prior warning was frowned upon. | |
| #Post#: 68156-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: lakey Date: July 13, 2021, 10:57 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| I had to tell my own parents, who are wonderful people, to call | |
| before coming over. I'd be sleeping in on Saturday morning and | |
| hear them in my driveway. | |
| As far as the letter, it doesn't sound like anyone in this | |
| scenario is very bright. I feel sorry for the baby. A smart | |
| grandmother would make the best of the situation and play nice | |
| with the new mom | |
| #Post#: 68157-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: Soop Date: July 13, 2021, 11:03 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Sounds exactly like the other side of a r/JustNoMIL posting on | |
| reddit. I could read the contempt right from the first sentence | |
| ("slightly older female") | |
| #Post#: 68158-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: Jem Date: July 13, 2021, 11:19 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=Soop link=topic=2109.msg68157#msg68157 | |
| date=1626192213] | |
| Sounds exactly like the other side of a r/JustNoMIL posting on | |
| reddit. I could read the contempt right from the first sentence | |
| ("slightly older female") | |
| [/quote] | |
| Exactly. Contempt and a total lack of awareness of the reality | |
| of the situation. Also, the son/father of the child sounds like | |
| he has a lot of growing up to do, and that is based on his | |
| mother's skewed description of him painting him in his best | |
| light! | |
| #Post#: 68161-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: Rose Red Date: July 13, 2021, 12:16 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Sitcoms make a fortune using the stereotypical bad MIL like her. | |
| Except real life is not funny. | |
| All the mom ask is that she calls before drop by and the LW | |
| thinks she needs to see a doctor and mediated. Wow. There is a | |
| reason her ex is part of the baby's life and she isn't. You can | |
| taste the contempt she has for the baby's mom and I shudder to | |
| imagine how the LW treats the mom when they are in the same | |
| room. | |
| #Post#: 68172-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight. | |
| By: honeybee42 Date: July 13, 2021, 2:39 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=Jem link=topic=2109.msg68158#msg68158 | |
| date=1626193149] | |
| [quote author=Soop link=topic=2109.msg68157#msg68157 | |
| date=1626192213] | |
| Sounds exactly like the other side of a r/JustNoMIL posting on | |
| reddit. I could read the contempt right from the first sentence | |
| ("slightly older female") | |
| [/quote] | |
| Exactly. Contempt and a total lack of awareness of the reality | |
| of the situation. Also, the son/father of the child sounds like | |
| he has a lot of growing up to do, and that is based on his | |
| mother's skewed description of him painting him in his best | |
| light! | |
| [/quote] | |
| Exactly on the contempt "slightly older female" and the "three | |
| children from two previous relationships" (I can almost hear the | |
| "the hussy!" in the tone). On the other hand, I think the | |
| letter writer's son/father of new baby is doing pretty well, as | |
| it seems that he's supporting the decisions of the mother of his | |
| child rather than going behind her (MoC) back, and we only have | |
| letter writer's word for it that he wasn't ready to settle down | |
| in the first place. | |
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