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| #Post#: 61440-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Kids and TY notes | |
| By: vintagegal Date: December 12, 2020, 10:30 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| I have a relative with 2 kids that I send Xmas and Bday checks | |
| too. I always get a TY email from the mom. I would really like | |
| to suggest or hint that I would love to hear from the kids | |
| themselves. (they are both over 12). I am holding off until I | |
| hear from the BMB hive mind. Should I just bite my tongue? I | |
| don't see them that often, less than once a year. | |
| #Post#: 61441-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: December 12, 2020, 11:27 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| On Carolyn Hax's community chat yesterday, someone was talking | |
| about the same issue. Her nieces and nephews never respond, and | |
| she was saying that the parents were unlikely to ever teach them | |
| the rudiments of thank you notes. | |
| A later commenter suggested that the OP include a note saying, I | |
| would love to see a photo of you with this gift. It isn't | |
| scolding or preachy, and it is asking for a response that only | |
| takes a second and is a behavior they would be already be | |
| comfortable with anyway. And it would at least acknowledge that | |
| they received the gift, which the gift giver would appreciate. | |
| Just an idea. | |
| #Post#: 61447-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: Lkdrymom Date: December 12, 2020, 2:56 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| I always had my kids write thank you notes for any gifts sent by | |
| relatives. No one else did that for the longest time....then I | |
| noticed I started getting them from one of my cousin's kids. | |
| #Post#: 61504-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: Hmmm Date: December 14, 2020, 9:56 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| I think it is fine to respond back via email with "I'm glad to | |
| hear they enjoyed the gift. I'd love to hear directly from them. | |
| Sometimes I feel like your just being polite saying they | |
| appreciate the gifts I'm sending." | |
| #Post#: 61509-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: vintagegal Date: December 14, 2020, 10:36 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| I replied and said, I'd love to hear from the kids themselves | |
| about what they plan to use the money for, maybe a photo with | |
| the item? We'll see what happens. | |
| #Post#: 61533-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: silversurfer Date: December 14, 2020, 4:26 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Great approach Vintagegal! | |
| You're not asking them to put pen to paper and mail you | |
| something, an email from the kids (i would assume they have | |
| their own emails) is a great solution. | |
| Slightly off topic, but if the kids do have their own emails, | |
| why don't you send them a note? Not mentioning the thank you, | |
| but just to say hi. My auntie friended me on facebook when i was | |
| 18 or 19, (cough, a while ago now) and through chatting on | |
| social media and sending pictures, she is probably the person i | |
| am now closest to in my entire family. | |
| #Post#: 61534-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: TootsNYC Date: December 14, 2020, 4:31 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| I think you could say to them, "You know, your mom always writes | |
| me a thank-you note, but I would really like to hear directly | |
| from you. You're getting pretty grownup; maybe it's time you | |
| took that back from her. How about if you send me a text, or | |
| ping me on Facebook." | |
| I was struck by reading once about someone whose kids were | |
| excitedly writing a thank-you note, and their enthusiasm for | |
| those sprang from the fact that Grandma had written THEM a | |
| thank-you note. And it made them realize how cool thank-you | |
| notes are. | |
| I would say that if you don't hear from them or don't want to | |
| speak up, you could get contact info for them, and contact them | |
| yourself from time to time, just to normalize the idea of some | |
| infrequent but natural communication. | |
| #Post#: 61593-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: vintagegal Date: December 15, 2020, 5:43 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=silversurfer link=topic=1948.msg61533#msg61533 | |
| date=1607984792] | |
| Great approach Vintagegal! | |
| You're not asking them to put pen to paper and mail you | |
| something, an email from the kids (i would assume they have | |
| their own emails) is a great solution. | |
| Slightly off topic, but if the kids do have their own emails, | |
| why don't you send them a note? Not mentioning the thank you, | |
| but just to say hi. My auntie friended me on facebook when i was | |
| 18 or 19, (cough, a while ago now) and through chatting on | |
| social media and sending pictures, she is probably the person i | |
| am now closest to in my entire family. | |
| [/quote] | |
| If they do have their own emails, I don't know about it. | |
| #Post#: 61594-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: TootsNYC Date: December 15, 2020, 7:29 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| you can ask! You can also find them on Facebook, if they're | |
| there, and use Messenger. | |
| #Post#: 61624-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Kids and TY notes | |
| By: jpcher Date: December 16, 2020, 1:49 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=vintagegal link=topic=1948.msg61593#msg61593 | |
| date=1608075804] | |
| [quote author=silversurfer link=topic=1948.msg61533#msg61533 | |
| date=1607984792] | |
| Great approach Vintagegal! | |
| You're not asking them to put pen to paper and mail you | |
| something, an email from the kids (i would assume they have | |
| their own emails) is a great solution. | |
| Slightly off topic, but if the kids do have their own emails, | |
| why don't you send them a note? Not mentioning the thank you, | |
| but just to say hi. My auntie friended me on facebook when i was | |
| 18 or 19, (cough, a while ago now) and through chatting on | |
| social media and sending pictures, she is probably the person i | |
| am now closest to in my entire family. | |
| [/quote] | |
| If they do have their own emails, I don't know about it. | |
| [/quote] | |
| 12+ years old? I'm betting they have a cell phone. If not email, | |
| maybe texting? | |
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