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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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Return to: Holidays
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#Post#: 61144--------------------------------------------------
Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: Lilipons Date: December 7, 2020, 12:38 pm
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I doesn�t matter which winter holiday you celebrate, this year
will be very different from those in the past. Let�s share some
traditions from our family pasts and enjoy a smile or two.
Here�s one I still treasure.
Both Mom and Dad were one of five children. Almost all of these
were married and had children of their own. I was the youngest
of a cadre of 17 cousins and we all lived within ten miles of
each other. Because of our sheer numbers, Christmas Day was
confined to nuclear household dinners with perhaps the addition
of an older relative who was widowed and spending the holiday
alone.
My Mother was of German heritage and a certifiable Christmas
Crazy. Scarves and mittens were knitted beginning in July.
Cookies were baked immediately after Thanksgiving and the tree
went up as soon as it could safely be so. As soon as presents
were purchased or completed they were boxed, wrapped, tagged and
placed under the tree.
I shared Mom�s love of Christmas. When I got home from school,
we�d sit down at the kitchen table and decorate large, brown
paper shopping bags with decorations for each household. After
lunch on Christmas Eve the ritual would begin. The presents
would be put into the bags. Dad would load them into the back
seat of the car and off we�d go to deliver presents to friends
and family.
Mom would stay at home to receive bags and offer refreshments to
other family members doing the same thing. She always had
chocolate ornaments wrapped in foil on our tree for them to take
for the children. I would get to hang an ornament or two on the
trees of homes Dad and I visited. It was like playing Santa and
it was great fun. It was sort of like a reverse Trick or Treat.
By sundown it was usually all over. There were no presents left
under our tree but, after a little supper of soup and
sandwiches, we�d unpack what we had received and Christmas would
begin all over again.
I have more stories but, please post your tales of holidays
past. There are sure to be some wonderful reads out there and
we could all use a good laugh these days.
#Post#: 61155--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: STiG Date: December 7, 2020, 2:14 pm
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My mother was also of German heritage! She is the one who
instilled my love of baking. There were always shortbread and
mincemeat tarts, which were really mincemeat rolls. Those came
from my Dad's side of the family.
We rarely had a Christmas dinner at home that didn't include
someone extra, who would otherwise have been alone at Christmas.
It was the same at Thanksgiving and Easter. For many years, a
minister we befriended, who wasn't even our denomination, let
alone our minister, was a guest. She always said we saved her
from having to make the rounds of all her parishioners and keep
track so no-one felt snubbed. And would say, 'Besides, the food
is better here!' ;D We included her after my Mom passed,
until she moved away. The minister passed away a couple of
years ago.
We've had stray students who couldn't go home for the holidays
that one of us brought home with us. We have delivered meals to
former patients of Mom's who couldn't come to dinner. (Mom was
a home care nurse).
One year, before I was born, my brother told my parents that he
was going to go out in the morning and look for reindeer tracks.
So after he went to bed, my Dad is out on the front lawn with
2X4s attached to his feet, making tracks using a deer hoof
pointer he had. The neighbours must have thought he was crazy.
The next day? My brother forgot all about it. My Dad made sure
to remind him; no way was brother getting away with not going to
look, with all the work Dad had done. Fast forward 30ish years
and my youngest nephew had reindeer food he'd made in day care.
It was mainly oatmeal with some glitter in it. 'What's the
glitter for', my Dad asked. 'That's so they can see it', nephew
replies. He and his mother spread the food out on the front
lawn. Wouldn't you know it but there were deer tracks all over
and most of the food was gone! You might think Dad worked his
magic again. Nope! It was actual deer. There must have been
glittery poop all over the bush around my parents house that
year. ;D
My brother is 5 years older so would help my Dad with stuff
around Christmas. Like the year there were sleigh tracks on the
roof of the porch with footsteps over to the chimney. Perfectly
filled in with a bit of snow, as we'd gotten about an inch
overnight.
#Post#: 61165--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: Codewoman1125 Date: December 7, 2020, 4:58 pm
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When my son was three, he asked Santa for "An airplane, a real
one, with two seats." On Christmas morning he got up and looked
under the tree, then went and opened the front door -- because,
of course, the airplane wouldn't fit under the tree! He was
soooo disappointed but forgot fairly quickly.
#Post#: 61166--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: Lilipons Date: December 7, 2020, 5:18 pm
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I was a very early reader. By my 4th Christmas I could read
what was printed on the toy boxes. Mom told me that the names
of the manufacturers were the names of the elves who made the
toys. Skeptical me could accept that there were elves named
�Hasbro�. �Mattel� or even �Marx�. I could certainly that a
beautiful female elf named �Venus Paradise� made those colored
pencils I so loved.
However, �Milton Bradley� was NOT an elf who made toys. He was
an accountant who worked in the office. You couldn�t fool a
smart kid like me!
#Post#: 61179--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: Aleko Date: December 8, 2020, 2:32 am
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Even after all this time I keep forgetting that �holidays� means
something different across the pond. I clicked on this topic
without thinking, expecting to find sagas of missed flights,
bizarre hotels, inappropriate destinations etc . . .
#Post#: 61181--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: vintagegal Date: December 8, 2020, 7:10 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1937.msg61179#msg61179
date=1607416324]
Even after all this time I keep forgetting that �holidays� means
something different across the pond. I clicked on this topic
without thinking, expecting to find sagas of missed flights,
bizarre hotels, inappropriate destinations etc . . .
[/quote]
Those are "vacations", lol.
#Post#: 61184--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: BeagleMommy Date: December 8, 2020, 7:47 am
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My mother's family is of Polish heritage and my father's is
Welsh. Christmas Eve is the big celebration in Mom's family and
we have what is called "the beige meal". It usually consisted
of fried fish, fried salmon cakes, boiled buttered potatoes
(with onions and without), homemade bread, boiled cabbage,
buttered corn, and the only color in the meal, peas. Dessert
was always homemade cookies. This was always held at my mom's
mother's house (we called her Nanny). When Nanny passed away my
mother took over.
Now that BeagleBoy does the cooking, we've added some variety to
the beige meal. He has added minestrone, paella, crab cakes,
shrimp cocktail, and fettucine alfredo (for the fussy niece who
won't eat anything).
Christmas gifts from Nanny (now my mom) are opened after dinner
and then we would go to midnight mass.
My dad's parents would come over on Christmas Day and we would
have baked ham, fried potatoes, homemade bread, and more
cookies.
#Post#: 61185--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: STiG Date: December 8, 2020, 7:48 am
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I think I have told this one before...
I bought a lovely, stainless steel roast pan for my Mom for
Christmas one year. I gave it to her on Christmas Eve so she
could cook the turkey in it. Dad took one look at how high the
handle on the dome cover was and told her she'd better check
that it fit in the oven. It didn't, so she had to dig out her
old roast pan for that turkey.
Since the electronics were gone in her stove, though the oven
and burners still worked, she decided she'd go out and get a new
stove on the after Christmas sales. As soon as she said that,
my brother and SIL piped up and asked if they could have the
stove she was replacing. It was in better shape than the one
they had.
Christmas morning, I gave my gift to DB and SIL with a bit of
wry smile. They opened it up to another roast pan! Laughs all
round and I ended up giving them the money and returning it.
On the 27th, Mom, Dad and I went shopping for her new stove.
With roast pan in hand. As we went into each store, Mom says to
the salesman: I want a stove with an oven that will fit this
roast pan! I'm quite sure they thought she was crazy.
#Post#: 61194--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: Lilipons Date: December 8, 2020, 9:40 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1937.msg61179#msg61179
date=1607416324]
Even after all this time I keep forgetting that �holidays� means
something different across the pond. I clicked on this topic
without thinking, expecting to find sagas of missed flights,
bizarre hotels, inappropriate destinations etc . . .
[/quote]
That would be a fun thread, Aleko. Why not start one?
#Post#: 61198--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funny, Quirky or Just Plain Odd Holiday Stories.
By: peony Date: December 8, 2020, 11:50 am
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When I was first married many years ago I and my husband lived
in a trailer home on a road with several houses in back of us.
Directly behind us lived a crusty old farmer and his family. He
always spoke in a gruff sort of voice, seemed to dislike even
saying "hello", so I avoided him. On that Christmas Eve close to
midnight I heard jingling bells coming from behind our trailer.
I parted the curtains, looked out, and saw this gruff crusty
grim farmer walking past their house jingling a strip of bells
so that his children heard Santa coming. I learned not to judge
a book by its cover.
A precious memory: When I was ten, one Christmas morning at
around 3 am neither my little brother or I could sleep, so we
snuck downstairs, unwrapped a gift that we knew had a board game
inside, played one game, wrapped the game up neatly again so
that our parents wouldn't know, and crept back upstairs to sleep
until a decent hour. We had to pretend we were surprised when we
unwrapped it (again)!
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