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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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Return to: Entertaining and Hospitality
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#Post#: 46949--------------------------------------------------
Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: TeamBhakta Date: February 7, 2020, 5:01 pm
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A guest wrote Miss Manners about a "gotcha" at a party. The
guest wanted aspirin, but did not ask the host. He / she opened
the bathroom medicine cabinet, causing "a large number of balls
and beads" to loudly crash out. "Many of the partygoers" were
apparently in on the prank and laughed at him from from outside
the door. Then the other guests mocked him "for the rest of the
evening." The guest apologized to the host for snooping in the
medicine cabinet. Was the host out of line to booby-trap the
cabinet ?
https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/02/05/miss-manners-embarrassed-hosts-booby-tra…
#Post#: 46950--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: NyaChan Date: February 7, 2020, 5:33 pm
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Oof this shouldn�t be difficult because it�s inexcusable for
someone to open the cabinet or drawers without permission.
Still...Something in me doesn�t like that some of the guests
were in the know and therefore spared the possibility that
they�d be on the receiving end of the shame. So overall, the
guest was 100% in the wrong and was right to apologize. The
host is in the clear for making the trap - it�s their cabinet
and they can put whatever they want in it. But I don�t think
I�d have carried on the joke beyond the initial laughter though
to avoid taking it too far and I wouldn�t have shared the info
with only a few of the guests.
#Post#: 46951--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: LurkingGurl Date: February 7, 2020, 6:27 pm
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As is usual for these letters, things are left out.
It just seems really weird that any host would booby trap a
medicine cabinet and then let everyone at the party know about
it except for this lone person who had a headache and needed
some aspirin.
#Post#: 46952--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: Rain Date: February 7, 2020, 6:45 pm
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My opinion is that the host (and maybe others) have had a
problem with this person "helping" themselves in the past.
If I was truly worried about the issue, I wouldn't have invited
the person in the first place.
#Post#: 46963--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: Pattycake Date: February 7, 2020, 10:25 pm
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I don't think the host thought that this particular person would
go into the cabinet. This is an old practical joke, and the host
either just thought it would be funny to catch anyone, or they
had had a problem with someone going into the cabinet and
thought they would find the culprit but instead got someone who
just didn't ask before looking for aspirin. Either way, it's a
jerk thing to do. If you don't trust anyone with what you have
in your cabinet, move it before the party. I think that would be
a lot easier than loading it with marbles. (Besides, how do they
get the marbles out without them crashing all over after the
party if no one falls into the trap?)
#Post#: 46965--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: TootsNYC Date: February 7, 2020, 10:46 pm
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It's possible that none of the party guests were truly "in the
know" and that they just figured it out once they heard the
noise. Booby-trapping the medicine cabinet is something that
gets talked about and posted about.
The letter writer thinks many other guests were in on it, but it
was "moments later," which means the host could have said,
"Someone opened the medicine cabinet!" or they figured it out.
I can't imagine myself doing that, mostly because I don't have
desirable drugs, and I'd be OK with a guest getting an aspirin
without asking. Though if I were the guest, I'd ask.
#Post#: 46967--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: Aleko Date: February 8, 2020, 4:43 am
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Everyone behaved badly here.
- The headachy guest, for not simply asking the host for an
aspirin - how hard or embarrassing is that, for heaven's sake?
- The host, for booby-trapping the cabinet. There's no excuse
for such a deliberately hostile act toward one's guests. (As
discussed in another thread, I don't want guests snooping in my
bedroom, but I couldn't justify balancing a bucket of water over
the door!) If one or more of the guests has previous form in
snooping through the bathroom cabinets, the host could perfectly
well put a lock on it (good practice anyway if there are
children in the house) or put a snarky note inside for any
snooper to find.
- The other guests, for mocking him. He has already suffered a
massive embarrassment, and whether he deserved it or not, there
is no excuse for continuing to dwell on it.
- The host, again, if he really let some of the other guests in
on the plot beforehand (I agree with the posters who doubted
whether that was really so), which amounts to a conspiracy to
humiliate his guest. The only thing that might conceivably
justify such a gross breach of the laws of hospitality would be
if the guest had in the past done something much worse than just
snoop - had stolen things, for example. But I still don't like
it. If you have that much anger and resentment against someone,
you shouldn't be inviting them.
On the whole, the person I find least culpable here is the
guest. Sure, he shouldn't have opened the cabinet: but when your
head hurts and the host is busy, it could seem so much easier
for everyone just to help oneself to an aspirin without
bothering him.
#Post#: 46968--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: kckgirl Date: February 8, 2020, 6:41 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1625.msg46967#msg46967
date=1581158596]
Everyone behaved badly here.
- The headachy guest, for not simply asking the host for an
aspirin - how hard or embarrassing is that, for heaven's sake?
- The host, for booby-trapping the cabinet. There's no excuse
for such a deliberately hostile act toward one's guests. (As
discussed in another thread, I don't want guests snooping in my
bedroom, but I couldn't justify balancing a bucket of water over
the door!) If one or more of the guests has previous form in
snooping through the bathroom cabinets, the host could perfectly
well put a lock on it (good practice anyway if there are
children in the house) or put a snarky note inside for any
snooper to find.
- The other guests, for mocking him. He has already suffered a
massive embarrassment, and whether he deserved it or not, there
is no excuse for continuing to dwell on it.
- The host, again, if he really let some of the other guests in
on the plot beforehand (I agree with the posters who doubted
whether that was really so), which amounts to a conspiracy to
humiliate his guest. The only thing that might conceivably
justify such a gross breach of the laws of hospitality would be
if the guest had in the past done something much worse than just
snoop - had stolen things, for example. But I still don't like
it. If you have that much anger and resentment against someone,
you shouldn't be inviting them.
On the whole, the person I find least culpable here is the
guest. Sure, he shouldn't have opened the cabinet: but when your
head hurts and the host is busy, it could seem so much easier
for everyone just to help oneself to an aspirin without
bothering him.
[/quote]
I couldn't have said it better myself.
#Post#: 46969--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: Rose Red Date: February 8, 2020, 7:29 am
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If I have a party, I'd hide everything private no matter how
much I like the guests. Just because I trust them not to steal
doesn't mean they are not curious.
What if nobody opened the medicine cabinet? The host will have
to open it themselves. Either way, they have to clean up the
mess. Beads?! Yikes! And yes, how does one get balls and beads
inside without them falling out ???
#Post#: 46970--------------------------------------------------
Re: Party host�s booby-trapped bathroom
By: TeamBhakta Date: February 8, 2020, 7:34 am
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[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1625.msg46969#msg46969
date=1581168550]
If I have a party, I'd hide everything private no matter how
much I like the guests. Just because I trust them not to steal
doesn't mean they are not curious.
What if nobody opened the medicine cabinet? The host will have
to open it themselves. Either way, they have to clean up the
mess. Beads?! Yikes! And yes, how does one get balls and beads
inside without them falling out ???
[/quote]
I'm guessing a container of them with a string attached to the
back of the mirror, so the container pitches forward when
opened.
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