* * * * *
Notes on two overheard phone conversations pertaining to some nefarious
objective
“Young Mr. Hoade [1]!”
“I have bad tidings, young Mr. Conner! The accursed airline has cancelled my
flight! Now my plans [2] to kidnap you have gone astray!”
“Those scofflaws! Did they perchance give a pathetic excuse for the
cancellation?”
“We're currently having … a weather moment here in Lost Wages [3].”
“Weather moment? Does Lost Wages even have weather? as I seem to recall, it's
either bright and scortching hot, or dark and freezing cold.”
“Apparently the pilots here do not know how to react to a light drizzle.”
“As your attorney, I advise you to go medieval on their behinds. Also, I see
they have a flight that is not cancelled, going to Detroit followed by a
flight here to Lower Sheol [4]. Try getting on that one.”
“Will do, young Mr. Conner!”
* * * * *
“Young Mr. Hoade!”
“I have good tidings, young Mr. Conner! I found another airline that will
attempt the perilous flight through a light drizzle to Lower Sheol!”
“Another airline? What happened to the accursed airline?”
“All flights cancelled. None of their pilots could face the slight misting
from dihydrogen monoxide [5].”
“So you got a round trip from the other airline?”
“No, one way. The accursed airline will still honor the trip back from Lower
Sheol to Lost Wages.”
“I'm flummoxed [6].”
“The accursed airline refunded the entire ticket price and let me keep the
return ticket. I was then able to get a one-way ticket on the other airline
to Lower Sheol.”
“Wonderful!”
“And I shall still be able to kidnap you tomorrow.”
“And I shall still be able to drive the getaway car.”
“House of the Rising Sun [7], here we come!”
[1]
http://seanhoade.com/
[2]
http://www.wizardworld.com/home-neworleans.html
[3]
http://www.lasvegas.com/
[4]
http://www.southflorida.com/
[5]
http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
[6]
http://www.flummux.org/
[7]
http://www.nola.gov/
Email author at
[email protected]
