* * * * *

   Is HR expecting us to rappel down the side of the building in case of an
                                  emergency?

I arrived at the Ft. Lauderdale Office Of The Corporation and on my desk, I
find a paracord survival bracelet. Odd … but I do seem to recall something
about this in email a few days ago and sure enough:

> From: The Ft. Lauderdale Office Manager <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
> To: The Ft. Lauderdale Office of The Corporation
>         <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
> Subject: Safety Committee Update - New Paracord Survival Bracelets
> Date: Friday, October 23, 2015 11:11 AM
>
> New Addition To Our Safety Kits
>  Paracord Survival Bracelets
>
> [The new fashion accessory for your pet rock!] [1]
>
>
> Emergency Preparedness Taken to the Next Level
>
> The Safety Committee's gift to **YOU** for staying up-to-date with
> procedures and attending drills!
>
> * Bracelets will be handed out on Tuesday, October 27th
> * Place then with your Safety Kits and/or take them on your next trip
> * Stay tuned for our next Emergency/Fire Evacuation Drill
>
> Ways Paracord Bracelets Can Work
>
>   1. Makeshift Shelters
>   2. Fishing Line
>   3. Tourniquet
>
> Visit website for more ways you can use Paracords
>
> Paracord Info [2]
>

Really? What safety kits [3]? Did I mess that memo?

Anyway, I have this paracord survival bracelet on my desk.

[I got the Apple Mac Accessory Color Paracord Survival Bracelet] [4]


It barely fits around my wrist, and that connector, while very sleek, is hard
to actually use. The pin screws in, and getting everything lined up while
attempting to wrap this thing around your wrist is not easy. And the little
hairs on my arm kept getting bound around the pin as I was screwing it in.
Ouch. So no, I'm not wearing the darned thing.

I could see getting this five months ago, you know, at the start of hurricane
season. But whatever. I have this paracord survival bracelet on my desk. And
while it's great that I can use it to start fires or trip the machete
wielding serial killer [5], I don't do the camping thing. My idea of roughing
it is a hotel with no wi-fi (free or otherwise). I suppose I could use it to
rig something up on Hallowe'en [6] so when the kids come up to the door and
yell “Trick or treat!” I can yell back “Trick!” and trip them or something
but really, that's too much trouble.

And now that I've unravelled the 10′ of paracord, I'm not sure if I can form
the bracelet [7] (link via fellow cow-orker B) as tight as it was. I suppose
I could learn to tie a few knots [8].

[1] gopher://gopher.conman.org/IPhlog:2015/10/27/paracord.jpg
[2] http://usparaband.com/---7-Ways-a-Paracord-Survival-Bracelet-Could-Save-Your-Life_ep_42-1.html
[3] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2015/10/28.1
[4] gopher://gopher.conman.org/IPhlog:2015/10/27/bracelet.jpg
[5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_the_13th_(1980_film)
[6] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween
[7] http://survivalbraceletkits.com/instructions-html/how-to-make-a-two-color-paracord-bracelet/
[8] http://www.animatedknots.com/indexscouting.php

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