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The scary cuisine of Japan
> From: Mark Grosberg <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
> To:
[email protected]
> Subject: Japanese food
> Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2013 09:39:40 -0500 (EST)
>
> Hey Sean,
>
> I know you've never liked Japanese food because it's out there. But I
> recently stumbled upon a Japanese cooking show on YouTube. Search for
> username runnyrunny999. He tries to dispell the myth about Japanese food.
> His food is cooked and some of it looks good although I suspect if you try
> any of his recipes you'll have to find an Asian market for some of the
> ingridients.
>
> The show is also funny. It's probably worth your time checking out a few
> episodes.
>
> -MYG
>
It's been twenty years, but the experience I had of a “traditional Japanese
lunch” is still seared into my brain. I was invited along by the Japanese
Language Department at FAU (Florida Atlantic University) [1] (I was friends
with about half the department, which wasn't hard considering it consisted of
about six people) to attend “lunch” at a nearby Japanese restaurant.
Now, I've always been a bit leary of Japanese food because of sushi (“Squid
eyeballs, people! Squid eyeballs!”) but I was assured that sushi would not be
served. What was served, however …
I've blocked most of the food from that “lunch,” but there are still a few
items that still strike out in my nightmares from time to time. There was the
“soup,” which consisted of a small bowl with about a ½ inch of liquid and …
cubes … of … stuff … sitting in the liquid. The liquid wasn't deep enough for
“floating.” And yes, these were perfectly cut cubes. Of what, I have no idea.
Vegetable matter most likely.
I hope.
Anyway, the only non-cube item in the bowl was a bit of deep fried tofu.
Extremely crunchy on the outside, totally liquid on the inside, and gag-
inducing in me. Most unpleasant.
Then again, I'm not the most adventuresome of eaters.
Okay, with the “soup” out of the way, the next nightmare item I remember was
some form of egg dish. Only, it wasn't in a dish but a desert glass (a cross
between a Sundae and a champagne glass). The eggs were … scrambled, I guess.
With … stuff. That's the thing—most of the food that day was “stuff.” What? I
have no idea. Just … supposedly edible things with off-putting textures and
flavors.
I remember a dish with some chicken that was okay (the chicken; not the rest
of the dish) but otherwise, the entire “lunch” was a horror show of horrible
textures and questionable flavors.
I was lucy to make it out alive.
So it was with trepidation that I viewed runnyrunny999's cooking videos [2].
The curry soba noodles [3] were—oh sweet Jesus that's what those cold slimy
dark colored noodles with the questionable white “sauce” at that “lunch” were
soba noodles!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Oh, wait … sorry about that. Flashbacks. Where was I? Oh yes, the curry soba
noodles were (I can get through this) interesting (I didn't realize that
curry paste was a curry spiced roux) but I'm not sure if I would eat the
resulting dish. Shudder.
The tonkatsu [4] looked edible and I might actually make beef bento lunch box
[5]. So far so good. So let's see what's involved with a Japanized-Korean
style pizza [6]? I mean, it can't be that bad bad, can—WTF? [7] Did
runnyrunny999 just say “bait?” Yes! He said “bait!” He said “whitebait [8].”
And what exactly is this shirako stuff [9]? It's … um … I just lost my
appetite. Yea, I definitely lost my appetite [10].
[1]
http://www.fau.edu/
[2]
https://www.youtube.com/user/runnyrunny999/videos?view=0
[3]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtZ-4OfmQGg
[4]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIzsthN7o1E
[5]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwYFBDpW7ic
[6]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDDkhSlsXbA
[7]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDDkhSlsXbA&t=0m45s
[8]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitebait
[9]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIZ06IU-gCc
[10]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG9Z3ZN_BPo
Email author at
[email protected]
