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                       An Open Letter to Script Kiddies

Dear script kiddie,

I know, and you know, that if you have a web server with PHP [1], you have an
exploit waiting to happen. It's axiomatic. And really, I'm okay with that.

I'm also okay with you uploading your crap to the server using said exploit.
I like porn just as much as anyone else. And you really have some interesting
stuff there (thus validating Rule 34 of the Internet [2]).

You're even smart enough to wipe the source code after you start your
nefarious program. Or you're smart enough to get programs that do that for
you. Bully for you. Wonderful.

But let me give you one more piece of advice, and I mean this from the
cockles of my heart, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area.
Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon. But it's a
piece of advice you need to hear.

If you want your little hack to go unnoticed, and frankly, that's the point,
isn't it? To do your little script kiddie thangs without being noticed, then
please,

Stop sucking up all the CPU (Central Processing Unit) time causing the system
load to shoot over 600 you XXXXXXX XXXXX XX XXXX!

Ahem.

Thank you for your consideration.

[1] http://www.php.net/
[2] http://xkcd.com/305/

Email author at [email protected]

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