* * * * *

                          “Lights! Camera! Action!”

I wonder if kids today realize how good they have it?

One of the many careers I was interested in as a kid was a film maker (along
with my friend Hoade—we were both ga-ga over the likes of George Lucas and
Steven Spielberg—they had such cool jobs) but back then, our only options
were 8mm (millimeter) or Super-8. 50′ of 8mm film would give you 3′20″ of
film (3 minutes, 20 seconds) whereas 50′ of Super-8 film got you 3′40″ (a
additional 20 seconds) but the equipment for 8mm was easier to come by (as by
that time, it was obsolete, and even Super-8 was fast headed towards
obsolescence in the up-and-coming home video revolution of the 80s).

Oh, and I should mention—this was silent film.

You'd buy the film in 50′ canisters. Shoot it. Have it developed. Once back,
you'd go through, cutting the film up and splicing it back together into your
epic film masterpiece. And all of your budget (at least, back then) went into
film and film processing, which wasn't cheap for a kid (each canister would
set you back about $10—$30 bucks today). And given the shoot-to-edit ratio of
about 2-to-1 (two feet of shot film to one foot of finished film—typical
Hollywood rates are 3-to-1 or even 4-to-1) and you'll have to have very
understanding parents to indulge in this hobby (and let's not get into the
requirements for video editing, which requires even more specialized
equipment).

Heck, in the early 90s, my friend Hoade and I tried a few times to make an
actual film [1] but the expenses got way out of hand.

Obligatory Sidebar Links

* Brooker [2]
* the show with zefrank [3]
* UTNow [4]
* Scriggity [5]
* Lasse Gjertsen [6]
* Tons o' stuff [7]


But today?

Even a relatively cheap digital camera (like the one I have) can record video
clips (I have enough memory to shoot about ten minutes worth). And my Mac
mini came with video editing software (albeit basic editing software, still,
it's something I can use).

And therefore, with video equipment and software that just about anyone can
afford, you get some really innovative stuff going on (and a bunch of crap,
but hey, the same can be said for network television only, you pay more for
it).

So, with all this creativity going on, and an unfulfilled goal, I have been
in the process of making a small video.

[Herr Direktor] [8]
[9]

The above is just a small clip from the final results. And I'm finding that
editing is still a time consuming process, but at least I'm not having to
sweep up little bits of film afterwards.

And what follows is a transcript of the movie.

Why?

It's that accessibility thang [10].

* * * * *

HERR DIREKTOR

[From behind a movie camera] And … action!

HERR ACTOR

[Sitting at a work desk. Several seconds go by as he tries to remember his
lines.] What was my line again?

[CUT to HERR DIREKTOR, who stops filming, and shakes his head at the
incompetence of HERR ACTOR.]

[CUT to CLOSE-UP of HERR COMMENTATOR]

HERR COMMENTATOR

Oh, and that camera? [CUT to CLOSE-UP of camera, then back to HERR
COMMENTATOR] It's just a Hollywood prop. See? [CUT to CLOSE-UP of camera, and
HERR COMMENTATOR opening the camera with his hand. CUT back to HERR
COMMENTATOR] I mean it's a real camera but I wasn't really using it.

[CUT to CLOSE-UP of camera]

HERR COMMENTATOR

It looks good.

[CUT to CLOSE-UP of HERR COMMENTATOR]

HERR COMMENTATOR

That's why.

[1] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2004/04/06.1
[2] http://www.brookerfanatics.com/videos.php
[3] http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/
[4] http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=utnow
[5] http://www.scriggity.com/
[6] http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=lassegg
[7] http://www.youtube.com/
[8] gopher://gopher.conman.org/IPhlog:2006/11/13/film.jpg
[9] gopher://gopher.conman.org/9Phlog:2006/11/13/clip.mov
[10] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2006/08/13.1

Email author at [email protected]