* * * * *

                                    Colors

I awoke screaming.

At least, it felt like I awoke screaming, but I doubt I was actually
screaming because no one came rushing into the room to see if I was being
attacked by a hooked-handed lunatic [1]. In fact, I think it was the dryer
that was doing all the screaming—someone had forgotten to close the door to
the dryer. [It just so happens that the dryer is in a closet in the master
bedroom, while the washing machine is in the hall just outside the master
bedroom—mostly due to space limitations in Casa New Jersey.]

Somehow I managed to close the door, pick up my cell phone, and make my way
into the main part of the house, all without killing myself. I saw Spring
[2], and what I wanted to say was, “Ah, my dear Spring. Would you be so kind
as to call Smirk on my cell phone and inform him that I am incapacitated and
unable to to travel to the office today and that I shall remain home in bed
where I belong? Thanks.” What I think came out was something along the lines
of “Oook. Aak. Smirk. Call. Okay.”

“Sean,” said Wlofie, “don't take this the wrong way—”

“Okay,” I said.

“But you don't look that well.”

“Okay.”

“Why don't you get back into bed,” said Spring.

“Okay,” I said.

“I'll call Smirk.”

“Okay.”

I stumbled back into the room, crashed into the bed and proceeded to have
dreams of thousand legged spiders surrounding the house.

It was only later did I realize I must have nearly overdosed on a combination
of Guaifenesin and Dextromethorphan [3]. Or in other words, Tussin.

Yeah, I'm a light weight when it comes to drugs [4].

I've been fighting a cold since probably Wednesday, definitely by Thursday
(Thanksgiving). I had thought I pretty much licked it by last night, but
there I was, at a party falling asleep admist a Bacchanalian ruckus of
drinking games.

By the time I got home (and no, I didn't drive), I was tired of everything,
including sleep, and I ended up staying up until I was tired enough of
everything to fall asleep and around 7:30 am, I took (what turned out to be)
one final dose of cough syrup and fell asleep.

Only to wake up to a screaming dryer at … some point later in the morning.

[1] http://www.uta.fi/FAST/US7/FOLK/thehook.html
[2] http://www.springdew.com/
[3] http://www.umm.edu/altmed/ConsDrugs/GuaifenesinandDextromethorphancd.html
[4] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2001/12/30.1

Email author at [email protected]