* * * * *

  “I don't care if you have nothing to do with this, I still want my money!”

The tech support phone rings. I answer it.

“Yes, this is Joe,” said the person. “I just bought a CPU (Central Processing
Unit) from XXXXXXXXXXXXXX for $105 and I never got it. I tried emailing and
calling but no one has responded. I spent a lot of money and I either want
the CPU or my money back.”

I felt for the guy, but we're not XXXXXXXXXXXXXX and we don't even host the
website in question.

Small digression: The Company partners with another web hosting company
(other side of the building) and the data center is jointly run between the
two. Yes, we host web sites, but the markets are different so there's little
if any competition between us and the other company. Calls to the “data
center company” come here.

So while the site is hosted here in the data center, it's actually a customer
of the other company, not us. Okay, so back to the story.

“Yes,” said Joe, “I used [a traceroute-like program] and I got XXXXXXXXXXXX
[the data center company]. I want my $105 (from the movie “Better Off Dead”)
[1] back.” And on and on and on. Joe wouldn't stop talking.

By now, Smirk noticed I was on the phone and not saying much and asked what
was up. Muting the phone, I told Smirk what was going on. “Hand me the
phone,” he said. I unmuted the phone, broke into Joe's monologing and told
him I was transferring him to my manager.

“Hello sir,” said Smirk. “How can I help you?”

Several minutes go by as Joe monologes at Smirk.

“Sir,” said Smirk. “We're a data center. One of our customer's hosts this
website—” Smirk is cut short; several minutes go by. “Yes, but we're not …
no, sir! Are you listening to me? … We're a data center, and one of our
customers is hosting … no, we're just a data center … if you just … let … me
… I'll give you a phone number you can call … data center … we have nothing
to do with XXXXXXXXXXXXXX … it's a site our customer is hosting … I'm sorry
about your $105 but … sir … aw XXXX this,” Smirk said, hanging up the phone.

For Joe, if you ever read this: we tried to help you, but in your anger, you
didn't listen to what we were saying as we were trying to steer you in the
right direction. Sorry about your money, but tracking people down on the
Internet sometimes takes time. Look how long it's taking me to track down
someone helpful [2] at The Monopolistic Phone Company …

[1] gopher://gopher.conman.org/sPhlog:2005/09/29/twodollars.wav
[2] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2005/09/29.3

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