* * * * *
The Pervert, The Artist and the Psychotic Operatic Killer Cyborg
Ahh Hardware. [1] In the imortal words of my friend Bill: “It was so bad it
was well worth the six bucks.” Yes, we saw it in the theater when it came out
in 1990. And yes, it is that bad. Very bad.
Overall, the movie doesn't know what it wants to be—it starts out post
Apocalyptic (which seems to be popular with Australian directors) then shifts
towards a Cyberpunk sensibility complete with techno worship and corporate
conspiracies, then goes operatic with a Luciano Parvoratti singing killer
Cyborg straight from The Terminator [2] (only with six limbs and fangs—I kid
you not) and finally shifts back to post Apocalyptic at the very end.
The basic plot (as much as there is one) is Moe (Dylan McDermott [3]) buys a
bag of robot parts from a nomad and gives them to his girlfriend artist Jill.
Only it turns out that the robot in question is a Mark 13 [4], a killer
cyborg made for the government for wanton killing (the populous, as it turns
out in a very subtle sub-plot) and is capable of self-regeneration. So of
course she uses the parts in a sculpture and one night, it regenerates itself
and goes on a rampage, attempting to kill all in sight.
I never did figure out what role, exactly, Lincoln Wineberg, Jr. (the
pervert) plays. He spies on Jill, tries desperately to hit on her, then
becomes victim number one to the robot (“Here, let me open these blinds.”
“Blinds? I didn't shut the blinds!” “There we go—ack!”). And just when you
think it's over—it lives! It terrorizes some more. It sings tenor! It induces
epileptic seisures in all who look at it.
Over all, just a real bad film.
Well worth the three bucks for renting it.
[1]
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0099740
[2]
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0088247
[3]
http://us.imdb.com/Name?McDermott,+Dylan
[4]
http://bible.conman.org/kj/Mark.13:20
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