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	the apocrypha of cat - the desert
	September 06th, 2019
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	It is said that before the desert, there was no cat.

	It is also said that before cat, there was no desert.

	What is known is that when cat left the desert he left a piece of
	himself behind and took something different in its place. For
	before the desert was a time when cat wore colors, when he sang
	karaoke, and most importantly, when he had hair.

	The sages speak of a time before myth and before legend when the
	world held its breath waiting for a story to begin and set all in
	motion. In some traditions this began with a Word, or a song that
	can be heard in the Vedas, but the true devotee knows the truth.
	The story began with a baby doll crying.

	Cat found the doll at the edge of the great expanse stretching
	endlessly beyond horizon covered in scrub brush and dust devils.
	Low in the sky, the sun was quickly fleeing the heat of the day.
	The baby cried once, twice, and a third time as a true harbinger.
	In that aged voice-box a clarion rang from the heavens and opened
	cat's eyes to Truth, such as needs capitalization and archaic
	meter.

	He lifted the baby in his arms with tender care and when he looked
	down again his shoes had become Doc Martens. He knew these boots
	were meant for walking, and that's just what he did as they
	carried him deeper into the void. A voice then spoke, and cat knew
	it to be his own though it carried no identifiable accent. It had
	the cadence of an American and the diction of an Aussie but
	scrambled deep in the bowels of bargain-bin Anime and food trucks.
	The words themselves sounded like carnies trying their best to
	hide their shame on a home visit for Christmas. It was glorious
	and held the true power that can only be found in softness.

	When cat asked the wind, "Why do I sound like this?" The wind
	responded with a susurrus more brutal and jagged than cat's own
	voice. In that moment the wind relented knowing that cat had
	become as wind himself. And so he drifted forward further into the
	desert.

	In the desert he found many things. Boredom was chief amongst his
	discoveries, though. His ennui bore a hole into the Earth,
	hallowing it out and filling it with monsters and myth. It
	expanded to the heavens and cast aliens from the sky raining down
	across time. It filled our oceans and created Seaquest DSV, which
	it is said nobody watched, ever. Finally his boredom brought him
	back to the baby with it's soft coos and stuttered cries. In that
	beatific countenance he saw the purity of purpose of the crafted
	doll and it spoke a second Truth. Forever would he seek such
	perfection in all things that crossed his gaze.

	But his quest for beauty was at odds with the desert, for the only
	beauty of the desert is in its solitude. While cat remained it
	could never be itself. To love a thing and to crave for it such
	beauty as he did, cat knew he had to leave.

	And so, with the pure will of his element, he breathed outward
	across the landscape and painted it with all his colors. The pinks
	and fuchsias washed across the sky and land. The deep blues of his
	eyes filled the sky. But green, which he always had avoided in his
	youth, would not come from him. And so the desert would hold its
	purity and its beauty for all time while cat was left with only
	darkness to shroud himself.

	In Doc Martens he walked forth and it is whispered that he left
	three secrets behind in the vastness. The first was a fax number
	of unknown purpose. The second was a horde of unused raspberry
	pis. And the third was the greatest mix tape of all time.

	These days cat wanders the Earth in search of beauty and truth
	while battling those forces diametrically opposed. Chiefly among
	these is Salesforce, which cat has made his personal dragon to
	slay.

	One day cat may return to the desert and teach it the secrets he
	has learned. It is said you can find hints of these secrets buried
	underground in the depths of his latest baby, if you know where to
	look.

	Remember what cat does for us each and every day and give thanks.

	cat