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The Second Punic War | |
February 19th, 2018 | |
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I want a war epic made about the Second Punic War. It doesn't have | |
to be about the entire war, I suppose, but it must capture Cannae, | |
the rise of Scipio Africanus, and ultimately the salting of | |
Carthage. | |
Back in the day there were rumors of Vin Diesel making a Hannibal | |
movie. I'd settle for that at this point. We have movies about all | |
sorts of random crap! | |
I let myself toy around with the idea of writing the script for | |
about 2 whole minutes. That was nice, then I remembered I'm not | |
a scriptwriter nor have I ever shown any talent or interest in | |
that direction. Nope, I'll settle for someone elses art, thank | |
you. | |
You know how the universe sometimes seems to latch on to ideas | |
you've had or talked about and suddenly it's all the rage and you | |
got no credit for it, damnit? Maybe this can be one of those | |
scenarios. Let's have a whole string of Roman films get made. We | |
haven't had a Caesar movie in a while. How about Augustus? He's | |
pretty wild. Or Nero... come on! Someone make a Nero movie. I'm | |
sure there's enough British pride that we could sell a Cymbaline | |
film, even. See that... I'll take fringe Romans. | |
I would very much like something exciting to look forward to. | |
Well, crap. That sounds suuuuuper depressing. I didn't mean it | |
that way, but then I read it and was like... Ugh. | |
I've got exciting things to look forward to. At the very least, | |
there's a 40lb lump in the next room who represents about | |
a bajillion of those things. But still... I would love to put | |
a shining star on top of this excitement tree. Toss a little | |
tinsel around and stare up at the glory of a god-damned, | |
monther-fucking, Ridley Scott directed, Hans Zimmer scored, | |
action-packed adventure starring Vin Diesel and for some reason | |
Michael Ironside in a romp across history in the testosterone | |
dump, "AFRICANUS". (In theaters May 2020) | |