---[ Phrack Magazine Volume 8, Issue 52 January 26, 1998, article 04 of 20
-------------------------[ P H R A C K 5 2 P R O P H I L E
----------------[ Personal
Handle: O0
Call him: pachuco. Hey... me.
Past handles: digital jesus
Handle origin: L. Ron Hubbard and I thought it up.
Date of Birth: 07/74
Height: With heels or without?
Weight: In the sixth grade I was in a roman play. I was Naples.
Eye color: Blue.
Hair Color: Blue. I'm old.
Computers: Yes please. Extra Mayo, No onions.
Admin of: Nothing. I'm not an admin.
Sites Frequented: www.scientology.org (If you are going to hack someone,
hack me.)
URLs: The web is a really good excuse to waste time unless
you are doing research, distributing religous propaganda,
or selling sex oriented products.
----------------[ Favorite Things
Women: Daemon9, are you trying to ask me something?
Cars: Porsche Carrera whatever
Foods: The Roxy in Encinitas, Ca., Filibertos in Encinitas, Ca.,
and of course, "deli world" in the San Francisco ghetto
(Excelsior). $1 food is next door.
Music: Fugazi, Jazz, Acid Jazz, Lounge, Gregorian Chant, Jon
Spencer - Orange, One Dollar Food (Mondays at the Red
Devil Lounge in SF - Feds Welcome, but have good suits and
fast sneakers so I know who you are)
Movies: Usual Suspects, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Mall Rats,
Anything not starring pauly shore or Rodney Dangerfield.
Books: Chaos, making a new science by James Gleick
The C programming language, by Wik, and Als0 wik.
"Why I just can't seem to dance" - A documentary by Daemon9
Quotes: "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega" - Brodie.
"Woohoo! The water in this bathtub sure is ... white!"
- B. Clinton.
"Woohoo! Jessie Jackson sure is black!" - Pat Buchanan.
"I just never can seem to find things when I need them"
- Ollie North.
"People will eat shit, if you just put salad dressing on
it." - B. Gates.
"ARF! grr." - Tattoo.
Turn Ons: * Miniskirts, Garders, Vinyl, Perfume, Meat Eaters, Smart
Girls without attitudes.
Turn Offs: * Fat, ugly, smelly, vegetarian "granolas" with no
personality who wear 20 year old clothes that they still
have not washed yet, and lack the social skills or
capacity to learn.
* Salespeople
----------------[ Passions
- Business (penetration testing / security auditing).
- Tropical places (relaxation).
- Urban places (excitement).
- Winky, the magic dog, mule, hare catcher.
- Computers / networking.
- My girlfriend.
- Europe in general (but honestly, if you are Dutch and you own a restaurant,
come to the US, and learn about ground beef. Also, figure out what "well
done" means. Honestly though, I must compliment you on your excellent
selection of various strains of marijuana).
----------------[ Memorable experiences
- Owning switches over the Internet (TCP --> X.25).
- Owning my first nice car.
- Owning your machine.
- Getting punched by a large Sicilian, and getting knocked out.
- Putting a large Sicilian in the hospital.
----------------[ People to mention
- Joan Croc, for all of the millions of dollars she never gave me.
- Daemon9, for patting me on the back and breaking my spine by accident.
- My girlfriend, for being the awesome girl next door.
- Her parents, for feeding me all the time.
- Tattoo, my puppy ... for pissing on my bed, my floor, and all my clothes.
- Everyone who has ever served me coffee.
- Everyone who has ever betrayed me. Thanks so much for your warmth and
compassion.
- Mr Rogers. Using drugs to teach America's youth the moral responsibilities
they should adopt for their upcoming, bright futures, and using puppets to
illustrate the values of a smoothly flowing dictatorship.
- My parents, for tolerating all the weird phone calls from the rest of you
fuckers for many years, and for motivating me to learn about things I was
interested in by telling me that I would never get a job if I didn't go to
college. Heck, at least I didn't buy a degree out of a magazine, and end up
President of the United States.
- Oprah, for providing me with entertainment while I watched you expand and
contract like a blowfish. (I don't think she reads this anyway) (But if I'm
wrong, and Oprah is an avid phrack reader, then by all means .. sorry , it
was only a joke... Besides, according to MiB, you're an alien).
----------------[ Pearls Of Wisdom
- Don't take any wooden nickels, but if you do, make sure you get enough to
build a log cabin. Don't take any log cabins, but of you do, cut them up
small enough that you can give alot of people wooden nickels.
- Don't make up any cliches, but if you do, make sure they're funny.
- Make your business work for you, don't work for your business.
- Never ignore the ones you love.
- Buy quality merchandise for your home the first time around... unless you
have roommates.
- If everyone else around you gets caught, its time to stop.
- If a speaker is a speaker, and not a "sound emissions device", then is
toilet paper "toilet paper", or "Butt Wiping Cloth?"
- Eat out alot, unless she tells you to stop.
- All the people who consistently come on irc and ask "teach me how to hack",
first of all, most of the people on irc understand English as well as its
associated rules of grammar. Second, pick up a fricking book once in a
while and you might actually be surprised at what you are capable of. We're
supposed to be evolving, remember?
- When I was a young boy, I ate a snail. If you are a young boy, don't.
- If you beat the shit out of someone, make sure its not in front of my house,
because I don't want to clean up all that shit.
