SUBJECT: MORE ON MUTES FILE: UFO1982
UFO BULLETIN
We're not alone. Aliens eat our cows - and more
By Steve Johnson
All those stories you have heard about terrestrial cattle being wantonly
mutilated by alien beings are true. In a kind of interstellar combination of
the drive-thru window and the prepare-your-own-food bar, the visitors apparently
park near a pasture, cut up an unsuspecting cow and then eat it, the theory
being that it is easier to do this than return to one's own galaxy for lunch.
This, at least, was one of many interesting propositions UFOlogist Thomas
Stults put forth last week in a lecture sponsored by the
Business/Science/Technology Division of the Chicago Public Library and held at
the Cultural Center, as part of a series called "Chicago Center, as part of a
series called "Chicago Smarts."
"For us, what we want to do is sometimes present all the sides," said Nita
Salutillo, a library program coordinator. "Last year, for example, we had yoga,
and some people do not believe in yoga. There are many people who don't believe
[in UFOs ], and there are some people who do. Perhaps [Stults] could be an eye
opener." Much of what Stults said did, indeed, open eyes. It is also true, he
said, that "we are being investigated by seven to nine alien races," who
routinely visit our planet in order to kednap some of our brethren and comduct
scientific experiments on us and/or improve our gene pool so that we are better
capable of traveling in space.
"Now we have a plethora of evidence with a high degree of probability that
people, in fact, are being abducted," said Stults, a veteran of UFO studies
whose eyebrows arch above his glasses in an expression of permanent amazement
and who claims alien kidnappers cured a friend's lupus. "The '80s have been a
very exciting overall time." It is true, he said, that astronauts have seen
UFOs. Neil Armstrong once confided that, during his historic Apollo 11 mission,
"the fact is, we were warned off" by large and technologically advanced craft.
"Their ships were far superior to ours," Armstrong said, according to Stults.
It is true, Stults said, that President Richard Nixon's resignation was
brought about by UFOs. The real reason Nixon's culpabilty in Watergate was
exposed had less to do with the enterprise of reporters Bob Woodward and Carl
Berstein and more to do with the fact that Nixon had promised to tell the
American people the truth about UFOs.
"Those reporters were hand-fed that information, because they [the feeders,
not the reporters] wanted Nixon to back off," said Stults, who holds the title
of Illinois state director of the Mutual UFO Network. "That was the last thing
our government wanted at that time. They went out to get him, and they got him
good." And it is true, Stults said, that the U.S. givernment, involved in a
conspiracy of silence for so many years, is now coordinating a number of
businesses in a "planned educational approach" with the seeming aim of
preparing the public for the shock of discovering it is not alone.
In addition to scores of eyewitness accounts from just plain citizens,
there is a wealth of secret government documents, Stults said, detailing crashed
alien craft and Air Force encounters with otherworldly vehicles, and "the
government plans-to day-are to start releasing this information in 1994." He
allowed that date could be moved up or back. "Their current plan is supposedly
1994, hoping to get us educated and better prepared in the meantime."
One part of this campaign, he said, is the increase in UFO-related
advertising, such as Reese's Pieces' "E.T." ads, and ads for Tropicanna, Radio
Shack, Bud Light, Edy's Ice Cream and Levi's Dockers pants. "Now, stop for a
minute," said Stults. "Levi Dockers." The chairman of Levi Strauss, he said,
is also a director of the Brookings Institute, a think tank that Stults earlier
had said was an advisor to the government on its UFO policy. "Is that just a
coincidence? I think not."
Stults' was the kind of talk where Woody Allen's old stand-up bit about an
alien race that starts bringing Earth its dirty clothes (the plan to turn us
into a planet of launderers os ultimately foiled when the aliens return for
their things, having traveled thousands of light years, but they forgot their
ticket) would have fallen on 90 pairs of deaf ears. Even the man in Stults'
audience who kept laughing vigorously at things that weren't funny, in the
manner of a TV sports announcer, probably wouldn't have cracked a smile.
This was no dilettantes' ball. Between Stults and his audience, they spoke
knowingly of "Hanger 18," the "man-in-black theory," the "MJ-12 papers," and
some sort of aliens-for-Americans swap the government UFO documents, released
under the Freedom of Information Act, upon which 90 percent of the words had
been blacked out prior to their release. "I heard that President Eisenhower was
taken out to meet them." said one man. "It has been rumored but not
authenticated," replied Stults.
Five members of the crowd raised their hands when asked if they had
personally seen UFOs, and another man volunteered that his uncle, a chef in the
mountains of New Hampshire, had seen strange lights in the sky on the same night
of a famous abduction in the southern part of the state.
"We may be just a huge laboratory for them," said another wholly
respectable-looking man in the audience, who privately expressed concern that
Stults had not mentioned that some of the seven to nine observing races might
not be benign. "They've got certain experiments that I don't know how to
describe. I better keep my mouth shut about them," the man said.
He did allow, though, that they had something to do with alteration of
human neurochemistry. "The alteration is taking place at all times," the man
said. "It's the acceleration of the alteration that's the crucial thing.
That's about all I can say. Take care."
The man walked away. Less than an hour later, he turned up at Tribune
Tower to ask that his name, which he had originally given, not appear in the
article. Speaking with fervor, Stults showed a score or so of slides of UFO
pictures that he said had been authenticated by computer analysis.
He also showed hoax pictures, one of which was suspended by a string in
front of the camera and another which he described as a "peanut butter lid."
He spoke of a deliberate disinformation campaign along those lines, some of
it propagated at the checkout counter. "How many of you have seen," Stults
asked, "when you go to the supermarket, the National Weekly News: "Two-Headed
UFO Baby Found in Brazil?" "Now, with that kind of junk, do you think the
Chicago Tribune is gonna publish an article on UFOs? No way."
=END=
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