From: [email protected] (Jeremy Lyn Hart)

Our group's anthem used to go something like this:

One hundred goblins with spears on the walls,
One hundred goblins with spears,
Knock one down, kick him around,
Ninety nine goblins with spears on the walls!

Ninety nine goblins with spears on the walls,
..

==================================================================

From: [email protected] (Jeremy Lyn Hart)

I remember seeing an adventure in DUNGEON Magazine, one where the
players get to be monsters, and there was the greatest song:

"If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend,
If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend,
If you're nasty and you know it, and you really want to show it,
If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend..."

==================================================================

From: [email protected] (John Iv Kovacik)

In a similar manner, when attacked by slaad, we started

Forty-eight Blue and Grey Slaad at the door,
Forty-eight Blue and Grey Slaad,
Take one down, they gate in two more,
Forty-nine Blue and Grey Slaad at the door...

And, on a more pop-like note, our paladin sang:

'When I'm smacked by slaad I touch myself, I touch myself...'

==================================================================

From: [email protected] (Mark Kinney of the Too Many Nicknames)

THE ALPHA COMPLEX SONGBOOK
(from the Paranoia module _Send in the Clones_)

SEND IN THE CLONES
Isn't it great
Isn't it keen
Living in complexes ruled by machine.
Where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones...

Isn't it rich
Do we have six?
Well then let's go Troubleshooters-
C'mon, lets mix...
Where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones...

Just when I start
Opening doors,
Looking for mutants and traitors
on ceilings and floors.
Shooting my laser again with no malfunction roll...
Enemy bots...
Taking a toll...

Don't you love farce?
Traitors abound.
Won't you just go to the corner,
And look around?
Where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones.

I'm just so mad,
It makes me red
This is my very first mission-
Already I'm dead.
Where is my clone?
I must have a clone.
Send in my clone.


WHAT THE HELL IS RAIN
(to the tune of "Who'll Stop the Rain")

Long as I remember
The complex is underground.
Miles of twisty tunnels;
no exit to be found.
Would-be nature lovers
Tryin' to find the sun,
But I wonder; still I wonder:
What the hell is rain?

I went up six levels
Seekin' old man Yasgur's farm.
But Guardbots wearing kevlar
Grabbed me by the arms.
"The Computer plans a new you."
"You must have gone insane..."
What a blunder, but I wondered:
What the hell is rain?

Now working in the foodvats,
My mind's not on escape-
While a Plasma Generator
Guards against mistakes.
Machines are barkin' orders:
"The Computer is your friend!"
But I wonder, still I wonder:
What the hell is rain?


I'M JUST WILD ABOUT MUTIE

I'm just wild about mutie.
And mutie's wild about me.
Computerly blisses--boos and kisses.
Commie's the way to be.
Life's sweet just like processed algae.
And just like Teela on TeeVee.
Oh I'm just wild about muties.
And they're just wild about-
Cannot live without-
They're just wild about ME!


I'M AN ALPHA COMPLEX DANDY

I'm an Alpha Complex Dandy.
Alpha Complex do or die.
A new clone version of my last five clones.
Like them I know I'll soon die.
I've got an Alpha Complex sweetheart.
Teela is my Alpha Joy.
Troubleshooters find the Commies.
Beat the mutants senseless.
I am an Alpha Complex boy!

I'm an Alpha Complex dandy.
Troubleshooter do or die.
A clone replacement of my former self.
Soon I will probably fry.
I've got to serve my friend Computer.
If I don't, I know I'll die.
Kill the Commie infiltrators,
Also Troubleshooters.
I am an Alpha Complex guy!


I'M AN ALPHA COMPLEX COMMIE
(Subversive version of the above)

I'm an Alpha Complex Commie.
Alpha Complex do or die.
A new clone version of my last five clones.
Like them, I know I'll soon die.
I'm not an Alpha Complex sweetheart.
Girls are just the same as boys.
Commie mutants beat computers.
Troubleshooters, phooie!
I'm not an Alpha Complex toy!


IT'S ALL OVER NOW LEVEL BLUE
(to the tune of "It's All Over Now Baby Blue")

"You must leave now," the guardbot says.
"An' I don't think you'll last...
So keep your lasers handy,
You better draw 'em fast."
We understand your orders aren't much fun,
Running from a glowing Plasma Gun.
Look out now there's mutants coming through,
And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.

RED LEVEL is for gamblers,
Better use your Mutant sense.
Take notes on all e-vents that are trea-son-ous.
The empty-headed Funbot's about to speak,
Emitting awful jokes you heard last week.
The complex is falling in on you,
And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.

Leave your secret society behind,
The Computer calls for you.
Forget the friends you had
They have re-ported you...
The warbot that's breaking down your door,
Is programmed in a way you can't ignore...
Hope your next clone will try and start anew,
'Cause it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.

After working in the foodvats,
You're back at home,
And the smell from down there won't leave you alone...
Your next clone has just walked in the door,
He says, "report for termination number four."
The floor is now moving under you,
Oops, its all over now LEVEL BLUE...


KELP!

Kelp! to feed my body.
Kelp! not just algae, buddy!
Kelp! don't even need a bun.
KELP!

When I was stronger so much stronger than today.
I used to eat french fries with ketchup everyday.
But now those days are gone and I'm just not really sure.
To be quite frank, ya know; did our lunch really once have fur?

Kelp! it taste so good now don't you know?
And it makes me want to crawl to bed and snore.
Help me keep my lunch up off the floor.
Won't you please, please ban kelp.


ALPHA COMPLEX BATTLE HYMN
(From 2nd Edition Paranioa GM's Screen)

Mine eyes have seen the coming of another Commie horde,
If I can hold them off alone Hot Fun is my reward,
"Please engage the menace, Citizen" I hear on my comcord,
When will the Vultures arrive?

(Chorus)
Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
My clone keeps marching on.

They're advancing on all sides now and I'll soon be overrun,
I try to open fire but there's a malfunction with my gun,
So I toss a nuke grenade and then turn tail and run,
When will the Vultures arrive?

(Chorus)

The Commies are all vapor now and for that I'm real glad,
My geiger-counter indicates I took a thousand rad,
I check with the Computer and find out that's not too bad,
When will the docbot arrive?

(Chorus)

==================================================================

From: [email protected] (Cathbad Ogmah Fili: atu agere, atu mori)

If everyone around the world
were to summon the Cthulhu,                      repeat twice
all at the same time:

There'd be no place to walk to.
There'd be no where to hide.                     sing only once
There would be no where to run to.
And there ain't no place you could fly to.

Repeat until everyone sings and the Great God appears. Then Run LIKE
HELL!!!

==================================================================

From: [email protected] (Jayson Monson)

When the axe of eternity
falls upon the moon
When the Lords of the hells
sit upon bone thrones
When time itself
becomes unraveled
That is when I shall ride.

==================================================================

From: [email protected]

Here's my opinion about munchkins. Follow the bouncing ball
to the tune "Fishheads".

The Munchkin Song

Munchkins, munchkins
Wally jolly munchkins
Munchkins, munchkins
You're no fun.

You can't take a munchkin
to a city
They will kill
everyone there.

Munchkins, munchkins
Wally jolly munchkins
Munchkins, munchkins
You're no fun.

You can't reason
with a munchkin
They're too busy
collecting swords.

Munchkins, munchkins
Wally jolly munchkins
Munchkins, munchkins
You're no fun.

You can't give a gift
to a munchkin
They already have
five of those.

Munchkins, munchkins
Wally Jolly munchkins
Munchkins, munchkins
Your no fun.

==================================================================

From: [email protected] (Ryk E Spoor)
Written by Carl Edlund

I have a class of enchanters in my world called MusicMages. In order to
play one, you have to be able to write up good verses for each spell.
(None of this using popular songs crap. though for really GOOD songs I
sometimes make an exception). I had one player who was SUPERLATIVE at
this. Below is his song for the very powerful Arduin druidic spell, the
Stone that Weeps in Silence (turn you to stone but leave you conscious!)

"Gorgon's breath, medusa's wink, or crazy divine whim
A blink, a waft, a peek and then
Eternity within.

Life should not be wasted
And the living rocks do weep
Silent in their knowledge that
Your soul they do now keep.

Noble marble, solid granite
Fragile quartz and more,
Become the tissue of your bones,
Filling blood and pore.

So STAND THERE AS A STATUE
Until Armageddon ENDS;
Not of flesh or bone, but STONE
'Til erosive time wears thin!

In the lifetime of the Gods
Eternity's but a flicker;
And the magic I am forming
Shall fade away no quicker."

==================================================================

Songs of Praise


Azathoth is in his chaos
We know he's a really big boss
Now if only he don't slay us
Then that's good enough for me.

Hari Krishna he must laugh on
To see me dressed in saffron
With my hair that's only half on
and that's good enough for me

If you're really into dancing
And want to try some trancing
Then the voodoo gods are prancing
And that's good enough for me

We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
Light a candle for Yog-Sothoth
If we're good we'll send a Shoggoth
And that's good enough for me.

It was good enough for Loki
Where he goes, it sure get's smokey
He thinks Thor's a little hokey
And he's good enough for me

And the gods tore into Loki
Saying "Dei-cide is hokey"
So Thor threw him in the pokey
And that's good enough for me

Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus's
Though he's lost his vital juices
Still the old boy has his uses
And he's good enough for me.

There's one thing I do know
Zeus's favorite is Juno
She's the best at, well, you know
And she's good enough for me.

When we worship Bacchus
The ethanol will sock us
We'll all get good and raucous
And that's good enough for me.

We will venerate old Bacchus
Drinking Beer and eating Tacos
'till you've tried it please don't knock us
'cause it's good enough for me.

Let's all drink to Dionysus
His wine and women beyond prices
He made a Maenad out of my Sis
And that's good enough for me

Let us dance with Dionysus
And get drunk on wine and spices
The Christains call them vices
But they're good enough for me

It was good enough for Cupid
And the tricks to which he stooped
'thou his wings are kinda stupid
But he's good enough for me

No one wrote a verse for Buddha
Though I think they really could'a
And I really think they should'a
'cause he's good enough for me

There are some who practive Shinto
There's no telling what they're into
Though I guess we could begin to
But that's good enough for me

Warriors for Allah
Are sure to have a gala
time in old Valhalla
And that's good enough for me

Any time that I start hearin'
"Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
May-be so, but not like Brirn [sp?]
And he's good enough for me

And though J.C.'s into fish too
He's an avatar of Vishu
So he's welcome here to
And that's good enough for me

And for those who follow Cthulhu
We've really got a lulu
Drop a bomb on Honululu
Cause thats good enough for you

We it's good enough for Hastur
He's a mighty kinky master
When you pray he goes much faster
And that's good enough for me

Good old Thor's the god of thunder
Really helped us get our plunder
Though his head's still truely dunder
He's still good enough for me

There are those who worship science
And some would send 'em to the Lions
But without 'em we'd have no appliance
So they're good enough for me

( slight variations on previous posted lyrics )

In the names of Thor and Odin
Don't you know there's a war on?
Grab a axe and get your woad on
And it's good enough for me

It was good enough for Odin
Though that croakin' was forebodin'
Till at last the Giants rode in;
Still it's good enough for me!

In the church of Aphrodite
The Priestess wears a see through nightie
She's a mighty righteous sightie,
And she's good enough for me

Let us worship Aphrodite
She is beautiful, but flighty
She doesn't were a nightie
But she's good enpough for me

==================================================================

From: [email protected] (Ken Roth)

To be sung to the tune of "jingle bells"

Hack and slash
Hack and slash
Killing all the way
Oh what fun
It is to run
Fighting come what may
(repeat)

See the Clerics turn
See the Rangers fight
See the Mage draw back his bow--
DUCK! HE'S ON YOUR RIGHT

refrain

Watch the oozes burn
See the Stank alight
Oh what fun it is to sing
A slaying song tonight

refrain

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