My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, received a check
for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I
want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind
of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs
not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in
keeping with all government policies. I would prefer not to raise
Razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I
will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping
an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the futures of the
business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and
the best he ever made on them was $422.00 in 1968, until this
year, when he got your check for $1000.00 for not raising hogs.
If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000.
for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at
first, holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs not raised, which
will mean about $80,000.00 for the first year. Then I can afford
an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs that I will not raise, will not
eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you pay farmers
not to raise corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not
raising corn and wheat not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going
to raise?
Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so
send me any information you have on that also.
In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be
totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food
stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
Patriotically yours:
xxxxxxxxx
P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute
more free cheese??
