� Area: MONTY PYTHON ���������������������������������������������������������
 Msg#: 263             Rec'd                        Date: 03-11-94  05:28
 From: Richard Cote @1:243/46*4                     Read: Yes    Replied: No
   To: Jim Munion @1:124/3114*4                     Mark:
 Subj: Spam!!!!!!
������������������������������������������������������������������������������
HAHAHAHAHAHHA! IT WILL NEVER LET YOU BE! IT WILL ALWAYS BE HERE!
YOU CANNOT ESCAPE IT! SPAM IS EVERYWHERE!

MOUHAHAHAHAHA!


****  The Spam Sketch                                                      ****

****  From the second series of "Monty Python's Flying Circus"             ****


(Spam = Spiced Pork And Ham, a sort of cheap luncheon meat)

Scene:  A cafe.  One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned
       helmets on.  A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man:      Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam;
         egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage
         and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam
         bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked
         beans spam spam spam...
Vikings (singing):  Spam!  Lovely spam!  Lovely spam!
Waitress:  ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a
         Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with
         truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife:     Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in
         it.
Wife:     I don't want ANY spam!
Man:      Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife:     THAT'S got spam in it!
Man:      Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings:  Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife:     Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife:     What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings:  Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings:  Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!  (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings!  You can't have egg bacon
         spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man:      Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss.  I'll have your spam.  I love it.
         I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam
         spam and spam!
Vikings (singing):  Spam spam spam spam.  Lovely spam!  Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man:      Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam...  (but it is too late and
         the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately):  Spam spam spam spam.  Lovely spam!  Wonderful
         spam!  Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.  Lovely spam!
         Lovely spam!  Lovely spam!  Lovely spam!  Lovely spam!  Spam spam
         spam spam!
___
* OFFLINE 1.58 * A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.

-!- Maximus 2.01wb
! Origin: GigaByte! Gloucester, Canada (613)744-7554         (1:243/46)