BTN:  Birmingham Telecommunications News
COPYRIGHT 1988

August 1988    Volume 1, Issue 5

Table Of Contents
-----------------
Article Title                                  Author

Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Mark Maisel
Editorial Column...............................Mark Maisel
QuickBASIC 4.0 part 2..........................Jay Enterkin
History Repeats Itself.........................Tom Egan
The Annual Connection Picnic...................Bill Freeman
Songs For Today................................Tyros
For Your Information...........................Sohail Rabbani
QuickBASIC Patches.............................Tim Straughn
Profile........................................Chris Mohney
Quotes and Other Nonsense......................Saint George
Women and Telecommunications...................Michele Cahoon
Speakee........................................Bud
Whoops! You're Caught!.........................Gina Gossip
From The Kitchen...............................Chez Stephan
Known BBS Numbers..............................Mark Maisel

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Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN

We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
information in our publication.  We assume no responsibility for
damage due to errors, ommisions, etc.  The liability,if any for BTN, its
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or ommisions,
etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
of such damages occurring.

With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles.  We publish
monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
publication.  If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
in a particular issue.  It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
content of the articles prepared by our writers.  Our writers own their
work and it is protected by copyright.  We allow reprinting of articles
from BTN with only a few restrictions.  The author may object to a
reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
Othewise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
article's original title are retained.  If you use one of our articles,
please forward a copy of your publication to:

Mark Maisel
Editor, BTN
221 Chestnut St.
BHM, AL 35210-3219

We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
you like it.  We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
all of this and not get too serious about it.

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Editorial
by Mark Maisel

BTN is five issues old now.  How about that?  The articles continue to
stream in on a somewhat regular basis with very little prodding from me.
My admiration for the local folks who help make BTN is still growing.  I
am amazed that they can keep churning out interesting, informative, and
amusing articles each month.  Please take some time to comment about
specific things you read in BTN that interest or impress you.  The
writers need your feedback in order to know if they are communicating
effectively.  The future looks even brighter for BTN and for Birmingham
BBS' and their users.

BTN has some big things planned for upcoming issues.  We are going to
try to dedicate an entire issue to yesteryear when a 300 baud modem was
the cat's meow.  We will highlight boards of old and some that have been
around for much longer than you might think.  Birmingham also has its
fair share of software authors.  We are going to take a look at them and
their work.  We have already done this with one piece of software,
almost.  Steve Lee, author of Swiss Army Shell, gave us an article on
his creation that was featured in July.  Please read it if you have not
done so already.  The reason that I said almost is because Steve is a
resident of Anniston but who are we to be too technical?  If you have
any ideas that you think would interest readers or yourself, then please
tell us about it.  If you are shy about writing, then I will gladly work
with you on an idea.  Please post in BTN's conference on Channel 8250 if
possible.  If you cannot get on there, then use any EZNET node.

As for Birmingham, all one needs to do is look around.  Each time I hear
someone say that there is a glut of boards in town, I see a new one pop
up.  In addition to new boards, older boards are making improvements to
their existing services.  America Online is adding two more nodes
raising their total incoming lines to five.  Pinson Valley, formerly
Apple  Valley, has installed a 9600 baud modem on node two for the lucky
callers with a new high speed modem.  Other events have been and are
coming about involving users.  Bill Freeman, SysOp of The Connection,
held a picnic for local users and it turned out to be quite an event.
See his article detailing the picnic in this issue.  Bill is tentatively
planning a New Years Eve party and I think it is a great idea.  There
have been some folks discussing with me online the idea of a summers end
party, perhaps at a pool somewhere.  Anyone got a huge pool and good
liability insurance(just kidding)?  Other groups of users are getting
together and meeting each other.  That is one of the reasons that BTN
got started.  As folks involved in BTN can tell you, we get together at
least once per month to meet.  Sometimes these meetings turn into
parties or something.  It is great fun to meet someone you have been
conversing with for perhaps years without ever speaking or meeting face
to face.

Please take a look at "For Your Information" to get an idea of what sort
of discussion you can be a part of on a Birmingham BBS.  The messages
within are good samples of the kind of exchanges that occur daily in
discussion message bases on many of our boards.

In closing I would like to say thanks again to the writers, readers, and
supporters of BTN.  I would also like to tell you that there will be a
script questionnaire placed on some local boards soon.  PLEASE take the
time to answer these questions for us so that we can better provide the
kind of reading in BTN that you want to see.  Look here soon for the low
down on EZNET.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quick BASIC 4.0
----------------------------------------------------------------------
by Jay Enterkin    Part 2 of 2


Hands-On Performance Comparison

The following performance tests were run using identical source code
compiled to stand-alone .EXE programs, with the Debug feature activated,
and no math coprocessor present.

Sinemark - This first test is a simple adaptation of the SINEWAVE.BAS
program that is supplied with QB4.  This test primarily shows the
relative speed at which mathematical computations are performed, and
also displays the sinewave on the screen as the program executes.  QB3
won an impressive victory here because no math coprocessor was present.
QB4 is designed to work most efficiently with a math coprocessor, and
suffers dramatic speed loss during math operations if one is not
installed.

SINEMARK.BAS                  QB3                    QB4
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Program size (bytes)         40516                  40007
Speed                        46 seconds             3 minutes 6 sec.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Printa - This tests screen display speed only.  It displays characters
to the screen, clears the screen, and repeats the operation 10 times.
QB4 has a clear speed advantage in displaying text on the screen.
Note that this is a text display test and not graphics mode.

PRINTA.BAS                    QB3                    QB4
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Program size (bytes)         34814                  27133
Speed                        22 seconds             13 seconds
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Variety - This test combines sequential file read, sequential file
write, string functions, addition, multiplication, division,
subtraction, and screen display operations into one program.  It is
interesting to note that in this combined test, one which most closely
approximates the variety of tasks which I use QuickBASIC for daily at
work, there was very little difference in overall speed.

VARIETY.BAS                   QB3                    QB4
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Program size (bytes)         37972                  35815
Speed                        43 seconds             41 seconds
----------------------------------------------------------------------

In summary, QB3 is much faster at math operations if no math
coprocessor is installed, while QB4 writes text to the screen
considerably faster.  The Variety test would seem to indicate that in
programs which mix a wide variety of tasks, the overall execution speed
virtually balances out.  If a math coprocessor is present that would
probably give QB4 an overall advantage in speed.  Unfortunately I was
not able to gain access to a machine with a math coprocessor in time to
include that data in this article.

Program size in these sample tests was approximately equal, with QB4
showing slightly more compact code size.  Bear in mind, however, that
the reviewers cited in part 1 of this article noted that in many cases
the code generated by QB4 was larger than that produced by QB3.

The most recent information I have received indicates that Microsoft has
fixed some of the (numerous) bugs in QB4 in a 4.00a version, but I have
no information concerning updates, or even the release of the updated
version, other than it is reportedly included in recent shipments of the
Microsoft BASCOM 6.0 Basic Compiler package.

Personally, it hasn't been easy for me to adjust to the QB4 environment.
I don't care for the way the source code is automatically formatted as I
key it in.  The long list of bugs in QB4 bothers me as well.  Even now I
am using QB3 for the vast majority of my BASIC programming tasks.  I may
wait and complete my conversion to QB4 when the debugged updates become
available.

All tests were performed on a Compaq Deskpro 286-12 with 40mb factory
hard drive.

Errata:  The following two paragraphs were accidentally lumped together
in part 1 that appeared in BTN4 by the 'auto reformat' feature of my
word processor.  The correct rendering appears below:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
SUB...END SUB   QB 4 Cannot be used in $Include files. Cannot have the
same name as a variable (regardless of the variable type).

TYPE..END TYPE  There has been an unverified problem reported in QB
when the record length is an odd number. A "FAR HEAP CORRUPT" error is
generated. The problem reportedly occurs when the record length is an
odd number of bytes. It does not seem to appear in BC, only QB. If you
have an unusual, otherwise unexplained problem, try changing the record
length to an even number.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

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HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF----EVEN CONCERNING COMPUTERS

by Tom Egan Co-Sysop America Online BBS


For those of you that read my previous article in BTN, I have wonderful
news. Even those of you that haven't, the news is still great. As most
of ya'll will recall, one of the features of the previous article was
extolling the joys of working with paper tape, that great medium that
was not erasable, and provided permanent storage capabilities ( as long
as you had no mice, etc ). Paper Tape is making a come-back !!! Just
announced is a paper tape storage device that will record 600 GIGABYTES
on only 2400 feet of paper tape.  The tape is new though. It seems that
it is a Polyester-based Substrate coated with an Infrared sensitive dye
Polymer which will write at a rate of 10 megabits per second. A 2400
foot reel of this half-inch tape will hold 600 Gigabytes of data at
one-tenth the cost of magnetic tape.

WOW!!! I can't wait for it to hit the PC market, what a deal!!!! I can
get back to my original joy, paper-tape, and all you young'uns can also
have the chance to experience the joys of this remarkable media. It'll
be a shame not to be able to listen to the sweet sounds of the paper
punch running though, but I guess that's modernization for you.

Back now to the original ideas of this newsletter. I am going to skip
the KIM and the REX temporarily, strictly because I'm not in the mood to
discuss them at this moment, and scurry on to the famous ( infamous )
Radio Shack TRS-80 Model I that I owned for numerous years.

Now this was a machine to be proud of!!!! At the time when other
computers were having a rough time of it, along comes Radio Shack ( whom
I worked for at the time ), and in their audacity, they decide they are
going to build and and market a Personal Computer! The TRS-80 MODEL I
was a glorious machine in it's time. It came standard with 4k of RAM (
when the competition only had 1K ), a tape ( cassette ) drive, actually
a voice type cassette recorder for data storage, built in Tiny Basic ( 2
letter commands only, but everyone else was selling Basic for $100 ), a
monitor, keyboard, and power supply. This was everything a person needed
to get started in computers. If I recall correctly, it was about $1100
for the system as described. No software was available, but nobody
bought programs in those days. We read the books on Basic, and anything
we wanted to do, we wrote our own ( some useful, some not so useful ). I
spent many LONG hours in front of that machine. My wife was THRILLED (
yeah, right.... ) when I finished writing a program that would count
from 0 to 1000 with no mistakes. The cassette tape provided a means of
storing those valuable programs, so I no longer had to re-type them
every time I wanted to use them, as I did on older machines, until I got
the paper tape reader and punch. It took almost 4 months before I got my
first "OUT OF MEMORY" error. I'll never forget that night, right in the
middle of some heavy-duty programming, it stops and says "OUT OF
MEMORY"!!!!!!!!! and locks up solid ^&%$&%!!! So much for that program,
time to start over, but at least it taught me the need for backups.
Also, I quickly learned about using GOOD tape, and making several
copies. As good as the tape recorder/player was, sometimes it choked on
a recorded program, and again, it was time to start typing all over
again.

Please don't get me wrong though, at the time, this was one of the best
computers available.

It wasn't very long after that, that I decided I HAD to have another 16k
of MEMORY. Only $130 or so for the whole 16k, that wasn't too bad, about
the same as 256k at todays prices, and this was 1977.

I finally got the expanded memory, and then wanted to add an EXPANSION
INTERFACE to boost my memory capacity to a whopping 64k ( in 16k
increments, of course ).  The expansion box gave me the room to install
the added memory, and ALSO provided for adding a FLOPPY drive to the
system.

So long, cassette tape, the floppy drive was marvelous, 180k per
diskette, that was about 3 tapes full ( 120 minute ones, at that ), and
it read programs in the bat of an eye compared to the cassette tape. ***
B U T *** no one told me when I got the unit ( maybe because I was the
first, or close to it ), that the keyboard/computer connector that ran
to the EXPANSION box had to be carefully cleaned every month or two, or
the entire system would lock up, erase disks, blow fuses, etc. I learned
the hard way that cleanliness was next to Godliness, at least where the
TRS-80 was concerned. Even with religious cleaning, sometimes the
computer would get garbage for no reason. But, remove the cable, clean
the connector, and start writing all over again usually fixed the
problems.

***** continued in the next installment ****

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 ***      THE CONNECTION RBBS FIRST ANNUAL TECHIE PICNIC      ***


The Connection RBBS will host a PICNIC and GENERAL GET-TOGETHER at the

  ***   HAWKINS PARK PAVILION ON JULY 9th, 12 NOON TILL ?:??   ***
     8920 Roebuck Boulevard - Take the 4th Ave. S. Exit off I-59

to commemorate our second year of service to the Birmingham community.

 Everyone is invited, and we encourage all to drop by and visit.

          __________________________________________________

Get used to seeing the previous announcement posted each year.  Bill
Freeman, SysOp of The Connection, here in Birmingham decided to host a
picnic for the telecommunications community.  I spoke with him recently
and he seemed quite pleased with the results of his efforts. The
following is a report from him on the picnic.

          __________________________________________________

Folks, we did magnificently.

Let's see - about 20 people that I knew and several whom I didn't
participated in the picnic. Special thanks to everyone, those I did and
didn't know. All told about 30-35 people came by, some had a beer or a
hot dog (or some other picnic favor) and we all had a helluva time.

What happens if an ST225 disappears led into discussions about whether
the Iran plane was a hoax or not. Genealogy and politics were discussed,
Alan found the pump and Jonah ate a cookie. It was, by any standard,
quite fun.

Where should we have it next time? Same place and same time (except
stopping at 3 or so next time) fine with everyone? If so, it's a date.

Maggie mentioned something about a Techie New Year's Eve Party being
right around the corner. Any takers? I know I'm always looking for an
excuse to have a good time.

Oh yeah, EVERYONE! No one on this board looks anything at all like your
average computer nerd (unless I do and no one told me yet). If you
didn't make it, you definitely missed it. For all those that did come,
and who had a lesser security level than a subscriber, I gave those
folks a subscription for a month (since, in the heat of the moment, we
forgot to give any away at the picnic).

And one thing is for DAMN sure, Michele Cahoon is by far the cutest
SysOp I have EVER seen. I don't see at all how such a looker finds time
for a computer. Even more surprising than that, Blake changed colors
(ask Blake if you really want to know!).

Between all the excitement new friends were made and existing
friendships deepened. It was, literally, more fun than Six Flags (or
Panama City!).

One thing I'm puzzled over, Alan. What did the baby finally get named?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

---The following are songs that I have written.  All have some sort of social
or political theme.  If that kinda thing bugs you, don't bother reading it.---

"I'M THE CONTRA"

Hello Nice to meet you, I'm the Contra you wanted to meet
Let me put my AK-47 down so I can have a seat
I've always wanted to see what a real American was like
All the other ones I met told me to take a hike
But I know you won't, you'll give me loads and loads of money
Cause you think that Sandinistas will invade, kill you and your honey
Well don't tell anyone this, bu I'm worse than that
I've mutilated forty kittens and I've eaten a dozen rats
I invaded a wedding the other day, and slaughtered twenty-three guests
Raped the bride, shot the groom, and injured all the rest
My particular specialty is raiding retirement homes
I like to relieve them of their misery from their creaking bones
It's OK, really, cause they're all communists now
And it looks like Congress will renew that aid package any day now
If that happens, WHEN that happens, we'll be rolling in the dough
Spend it any way we want, cause Congress will never know
It's true that some of it will go to weapons, but that's okay
The rest will benefit the booming U.S. drug trade!
Yes sir, I'm the Contra you see in all the papers
And we may be a bunch of terrorists and rapers,
But WE'RE the ones on the side of the RED-WHITE-and-BLUE
You wouldn't rather have Commies in this hemisphere....        WOULD YOU?



"S.D.I.  (MY OH MY)"

Ladies and gentlemen of the biased liberal press
Today we bring you a great new plan
It'll save the world and all of its culture
At least the part that we want saved
In the event of a Soviet nuclear strike
Nearly a third of our missile bases might be saved!
And possibly four percent of our cities too!
Isn't that worth four hundred billion dollars?
Yes, it's a PEACE shield, what a nifty idea
Our leader got the idea after seeing a movie
The Reds are supposedly building one too
So this escalation of the arms race is really their fault
Besides, theirs is a WAR shield!  To counter our peace shield
Lasers and masers!  High-tech space weaponry!
It'll work, just you ask any of the scientists
Only the ones who are getting paid for it though
Because the rest have been brainwashed by liberal lobbies
What a great thing to have, war in outer space
Better up there than down here, right?
Unless you plan on living there one day that is
And there you have it, our peace shield plan
Will be become the wave of the future you know
At least while there is one



"STYROFOAM CITY"

Hey you stupid quacks You wacky crazy sillies
Can't you scientists see that we're trying to conduct business?
Take your outlandish theories and stuff them in a drawer
Cause we've decided that we're not going to believe you anymore
We'll keep right on making all the styrofoam we can
We've had about as much from you as we can possibly stand
You say that clorofluorocarbons dissolve the ozone layer
Well we know something better: that the public doesn't care
Hey you funny pessimists, you freaky cryers of doom
Go back to finding ways of getting us on the moon
The effects you describe won't be noticed for 10 years or so
If you really want to be useful you can help us make more dough
By shutting the hell up about ultra-violet radiation
We'll be free to sell to fast-food joints across the nation
That's the problem with you eggheads, always thinking about where you're going
And never about RIGHT NOW, and what you should be doing
The future holds no fright for us, we KNOW that we'll be rich
Because you're plan of warning has just one hitch!
In olden times, bearers of bad tidings met with early death
So as far as the public is concerned, you might as well save your breath!
                                                                ...please?



"BUSH - WHAT A GUY!"

Bush Bush what a guy
Rah rah raise him high
He'll continue Reagan's dream
Send the commies down the stream

Bush Bush what a man
Just one look, Dan Rather ran
His wife called Ferraro a bitch!
Guess she showed THAT liberal witch!

Bush Bush You can tell
He'll probably pardon Ollie as well!
Send him on more freedom missions
Really, who needs "original positions"?

Bush Bush Truly different
He supports South Africa's government!
So what he's down in the polls today
He said it himself, he works better that way!

Bush Bush I can't wait
For him to become our head of state
Head Wright and Kennedy off at the pass
Ready to kick some congressional ass

Bush Bush He's got the Big Mo!
Ask him again, he'll tell you so!
Wow what a nation we'll be then
I can't wait to have Reagan AGAIN!!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those are all for now, I'm working on some more, so maybe you'll see another
file like this soon!  Hope you liked them!

-----**>  TYROS  <**-----

"I'm The Contra", "SDI (My Oh My)", "Styrofoam City", and "Bush-What A Guy"
are all Copyright C. 1988 Tyrosyndikate
All rights reserved

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Excerpt from Agnostics Conference on Channel 8250

Date: 07-07-88 (18:35)              Number: 1190
 To: OSMAN GUNER                   Refer#: 1077
From: SOHAIL RABBANI                  Read: YES
Subj: PURPOSE OF LIFE               Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE

Osman,
     You have posed THE QUESTION that has perplexed human minds
since the dawn of consciousness.  "What is the purpose of our life?"
In other words, who are we? where did we come from? and where are we
going?

When I reached adolescence after a seemingly endless childhood, I
began to learn and explore with a confidence which was previously not
in my experience.  By age 17 I had almost achieved the state of
absolute knowledge and wisdom.  I was also almost indestructible.
Oozing with vitality and radiating confidence I went about my daily
life leaving behind an infinite litany of blunders.  But I did not
know that anything I did was wrong.  I was at a stage of : HE WHO
KNOWS NOT, AND KNOWS NOT THAT HE KNOWS NOT.

By 22 I had begun to realize that I might not be at the top of the
world, all knowing and all powerful as I previously imagined.  By 25 I
was no longer convinced of my infallibility.  By 30 I was an ignorant,
fragile and insignificant mortal.  One out of billions of my kind.  At
33 I was ever more humble and continue to be more so as each day
passes.  I've reached the stage of: HE WHO KNOWS NOT AND KNOWS THAT HE
KNOWS NOT.

As humans continue to learn more, we increasingly realize that, we
know less about the universe and ourselves than we previously
imagined.  Perhaps we are approaching adulthood as a species.

At the dawn of human consciousness there were only questions and no
answers to be found, because no one had encountered those questions
before.  The desire to know is so strong that when answers are not
available, they are quickly manufactured.  There is a need and that
need has to be filled.  Religions spread through all civilizations
like brush fire.  Religions promise to give the answers and thus
palliate the pain brought by the realization of one's ignorance.  With
that balm humanity was able to grow up in complacency until such time
that it could begin to search for its own answers.

As the fables of ones childhood loose their magical hold over the
imagination upon entering adolescence and a more cause-and-effect
kinda logic emerges in ones thought patterns, one tends to shatter
all the icons that were handed down because one regards them as
superfluous.  Then upon entering adulthood one realizes the allegoric
beauty and simplistic wisdom of the fables of childhood and gives them
new meaning and reverence.

Date: 07-07-88 (18:41)              Number: 1191
 To: OSMAN GUNER                   Refer#: 1077
From: SOHAIL RABBANI                  Read: YES
Subj: PURPOSE OF LIFE               Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE

   A friend once said to me: "When I was a child, I
   wholeheartedly believed in Santa Claus.  I was grew up and
   learnt that there was no Santa Claus.  I was heartbroken and
   felt cheated but I got over it and became distrustful of all
   things magical.  Then one day after I became a father and I
   realized that *I WAS SANTA CLAUS*, now I believe in magic
   once again because I see it in the eyes of my children."

We have come almost a full circle.  But it is not really a closed
circle.  It is a like a spiral that goes upward.  As we make a full
round and come to the starting point we are actually at a higher plain
than we were at the original beginning.  We have discarded the fables
of our child hood, but we have also learnt that our knowledge has
severe limitations.

The arrogant attitude of the 19th century adolescent scientific mind-
set is gradually giving way to more humility and a mature outlook of
the universe.

Coming back to your question of the purpose of life, as I see it, if
there is one, we don't know it.

The monotheistic religions will tell you that the purpose is to obey
the will of the creator and prepare for the after life.  My
scientific minded friends and some ancient "pagan religions", (through
phallic worship and the fertile mother's icon worship -- as seen in
Mohenjo Daro excavations) will, instead, say that the purpose of life
is to proliferate and reproduce.  Although I like the idea of engaging
in "reproductive activities" (without necessarily reproducing each
time) I must take exception to that as being the PURPOSE of life.

Reproduction is indeed the fundamental DRIVE of life.  Indeed even a
part of the DEFINITION -- or meaning if you want to call it that -- of
life, but not its PURPOSE.

The word purpose implies a Grand Design and a Designer who conceived
it.  If there is such an Architect, we don't know for sure.  Of
necessity, therefore, we do not know of plans of the elusive Architect
either.  Thus my answer, Osman, is a most frustrating one: WE DO NOT
KNOW.  We do not know that there IS a purpose, and IF there is one we
do not know WHAT it is.

Let us not fall in the trap of our desire to KNOW and invent answers
where they are not forthcoming.
                                      ...S.R.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

QuickBASIC Patches
by Tim Straughn

While trying to write a door with the newly acquired QuickBASIC version
4.0, again, MicroSoft's bad habit of dropping DTR on exiting the program
was a problem for the user's of QuickBASIC.  I have only dabbled with
previous versions of QB, and have never had occasion to confront the
communications aspects.  If writing a complete communications package
for host systems or other communications as a stand-alone program, this
is not really a problem.  However, if writing a door to be used with
PCBoard Bulletin Board software as a shell, then a very real problem is
realized if the program drops DTR on exiting the program.  So, while
writing my little door, I got the bulk of the program completed, and
then started looking into the interface with the com ports.  Just
happens, I had the routines for doors as written by Clint LaBarthe, and
decided to use it for the ground work to at least get some ideas on what
to try.  In the Archive, there was an additional text file by Jeff
Porter concerning the fixes for QB1, QB2, QB3, and other Compilers.  I
set out to resolve the problem with QB4.

Needless to say, the addresses of the patches for QB1, et al, were
useless to me for working on the BCOM40.LIB and QB.EXE files to resolve
the problem.  However, in the document prepared by Jeff Porter, the
specific byte pattern which is the culprit is given. The pattern in the
doc was given as:

        83 C2 04 32 C0

First, I tried his way of doing things, by loading the library with
Debug, and searching for this pattern.  Hmph.  The newer library is so
large that Debug will not load all of it.  What next? Well, thanks to
Norton utilities, and plus the fact that I am not an avid fan of Debug,
I was still able to peruse the patch, but not until I did some work with
Debug first.  In his document, Jeff gives the assembler code changes to
correct the problem, but not the byte pattern.  The above byte pattern
unassembles as:

         add  dx,+04
         xor  al,al

To correct the problem, Jeff said to change the xor al,al to a mov al, 1
instruction in both occurrences in the library.  This is well and good if
you can find it with debug and get the specific address at which the
byte pattern occurs.  When I issued the search instruction in Debug,
however, it came up blank, and just kinda gave me a stupid stare.  So,
being a little familiar with Norton's utilities, I decided to use them
to search for the 5 byte pattern and see what I could come up with.
BINGO! Just as Jeff had said, the occurrence of the patter was in two
places.  Now, what do I do to change it? I needed to change the last two
bytes in the string to be the mov al,1 assembler instruction.  Not being
an assembler programmer at all, I knew nothing of the byte pattern to
provide. Aha! Let's go back to Debug!

I loaded Debug and used the e function to reproduce the byte pattern
listed above to verify the meaning in Assembler.  Sure enough, it meant
exactly what Jeff said it did.  Next, I used the A command to enter the
instruction mov al,1, and came up with the byte pattern B0 01.  So, now
for the down and dirty.

I reloaded Norton's and chose the file and used the search option again
to find the 83 C2 04 32 C0 pattern again.  Once found, I changed the 32
C0 bytes to B0 01.  I did this for both occurrences of the pattern, and
then wrote the edited version to a new file (for obvious back-up
reasons).  I then compiled a sample dumb terminal program with the
modified library to see what the bugger was gonna do.  Voila! It worked,
and didn't drop DTR when I exited the program.  So, I reloaded the
source code with the editor/debugger, and executed it again to see what
happens then. Of course, DTR dropped out as soon as I exited the
program.  RATS! I primarily wanted the ability to run source programs
before compiling so that I wouldn't have to drop out of QB4 every time I
wanted to test a revision in a program, let alone having to compile
every time for each change.  Back to the old drawing board.  I loaded
Norton's again, and then pulled up the QB.EXE file.  Another search, and
sure enough, there was that mysterious pattern again. Again, I changed
the 32 C0 to a B0 01 and saved it.  I then loaded the patched QB.EXE and
ran the terminal program again.  Eureka! It worked! Through a little
perseverance, I found the patches, and fixed my copy of the program.

Now for the only part some of you will be interested in.  Below are the
file offsets in the library and the executable compiler program at which
I found the MicroSoft DTR eater.  The pattern occurred twice in both
files, exactly 2CA (hex) bytes apart, so apparently the same routine is
used in the library and the compiler to handle the com ports.  Loading
the files with Norton's and searching the file for the above byte
pattern should reveal it in each one twice as shown below.


BCOM40.LIB

First location begins at 1293F (hex) offset from origin of file. Second
location begins at 12C09 (hex) offset from origin of file.


QB.EXE

First location begins at 29846 (hex) offset from origin of file. Second
location begins at 29B10 (hex) offset from origin of file.


I also searched the BRUN40.EXE and BRUN40.LIB for the occurrence of the
pattern, but came up nil.  This is not much of a concern to me because
of the fact, on a general basis, I seldom write and compile a program
that requires a separate runtime module.  Since I have also corrected
the compiler itself, I can now run and test programs which use the
serial ports without compiling, thus saving me a tremendous amount of
time.

I hope you find this information of value, and I provide it at no cost.
As a matter of fact, I consider it information that MicroSoft should
have used a long time ago to correct their actions with the com port
routines.  Indeed, in this case, I believe that for those of us who like
to experiment and dabble with communications, this would make the QB4
package much more attractive than Borland's Turbo Basic.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

PRO FILE  by Chris Mohney

The Pro File is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to various
computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.  Victims are
selected randomly from a group of names put into the notorious Hat.  Anyone
who thinks himself brave or witty enough may petition for admittance to the
Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris Mohney, most boards around town) to that
effect.  Anyone who wishes to suggest more questions or sneakily nominate
someone without their knowledge may take the same route ....

---------

      Pro File on MARK MAISEL

---------

Age: 27

Birthplace: Birmingham, Alabama

Occupation: Mail Handler

My_hobbies_include: computing, writing, swimming, eating, and drinking

Years_telecomputing: 8

Sysop,_past/present/future of: more boards than I care to name or
remember

My_oddest_habit_is: exhibiting complete honesty to the point of
bluntness

My_greatest_unfulfilled_ambition_is: unparalleled wealth and good health

The_single_accomplishment_of_which_I_am_most_proud_is: maintaining my
modesty under all circumstances, ha ha!

My_favorite_performers_are: musician - Frank Zappa, can't think of any
others

The_last_good_movie_I_saw was: Baby Snakes

The_last_good_book_I_read_was: Extraordinary Origins Of Everyday Things
by Charles Panati

If_they_were_making_a_movie_of_my_life,_I'd_like_to_see_my_part_played_by:
I can't say as I can't in my wildest imagining see anyone taking the
trouble to chronicle my life in film

My_pet_peeves_are: short sightedness, narrow and closed mindedness,
people who deliberately expose their ignorance and try to pass it off as
intellect

When_nobody's_looking,_I_like_to: do the same things I do when watched
with the exception of bathing which I enjoy as a peaceful time by myself

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Quotes and other nonsense

These are all quotes and other assorted sayings that have either amused
or intrigued me in the past few years to the point that I took the
trouble to writes them down.  I hope some of them amuse/intrigue you as
much as they did me.
Saint George

********************************************************************


Death is Natures way of telling you to slow down.

                               Piers Anthony

My sense of God is my sense of wonder at the Universe.

                       Mark Twain


"...another angel approached me. This one was quietly but appropriately
dressed in cellophane,synthetic rubber, and stainless steel, But his
mask was the blind mask of Ares, snouted for gas warfare, He was neither
soldier, sailor, farmer, dictator, nor munitions manufacturer. Nor did
he have much conversation except to say, 'You will not be saved by
General Motors or the pre-fabricated house. You will not be saved by
dialectic materialism or the Lambeth Conference. You will not be saved
by Vitamin D or the expanding universe. In fact,,, you will not be
saved.'"

"Nightmare, With Angels" by Stephen Vincent Benet


The air grew suddenly bright, and in the mist of the white glow
appeared a flickering ribbon of darkness. It grew and took on substance,
until it was a hooded figure.

"Behold the three brothers of my prophecy;

The first will have a white blade by his side. First will he be to see
his realm, first to fall, first to rise.

The second shall have a black blade and be a man of fire. He will guard
the plain where the dead and the living shall clash in battle.

The third shall be the least and become the greatest, the youngest and
become the eldest. He has an iron angel at his back. His life will be
short but he will die at a great age."

The dark Prophet faced the three brothers.

"You face forces beyond imagining, an enemy more than mortal. Many will
suffer and die. I came not to present you with a kingdom,,, but to bring
you to your destinies."

"Ironbrand" John Morressy


The world is comic to those who think and tragic to those who feel.

Horace Walpole

*****************************************************************************
This section of material is quoted from the book "Time Enough For Love"
by the late author Robert A. Heinlein.  May he rest in peace.
*****************************************************************************

I came, I saw, she conquered. (The original Latin seems to have been
garbled)

Never appeal to a man's "better nature", He may not have one. Invoking
his self-interest usually gives you more leverage.

In a mature society "civil servant" is semantically equal to "civil
master".

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent--it says so right
here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of
these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for
you. no checks, please. Cash only and in small bills.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have
assumed voluntarily.

One man's magic is another man's engineering. Super-natural is a null
word.

The phrase "we (I) (you) simply must--"designates something that need
not be done.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity and you'll seldom be
wrong.

Natural laws have no pity.

Don't try to have the last word. You might get it.

TANSTAAFL:
         There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.
         i.e. Anything free is worth what you have to pay for it.

"The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" Robert A. Heinlein

***************************************************************************
This section of material is what I am given to understand is 'Public
Domain' type material; I.E.  I haven't read it, I have just heard it
from miscellaneous sources.
****************************************************************************

Life is a series of small comings and goings and for everything that a
man takes with him,,, there is something that he must leave behind.

Lack of forplanning on your part does not automatically constitute a
state of emergency on my part.

Q.  Why is the Universe here ?
A.  Where else would it be.

An Optimist thinks we live in the best of all possible worlds.
A Pessimist fears this is true.

Its hard to make things idiot-proof because idiots are so damned
ingenious.

An observed phenomena requires no explanation.

A rolling stone gathers momentum.

Friends may come and friends may go but enemies accumulate.

Ancient Chinese curse: May all your wishes be granted.

Ancient Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the
average man can see better than he thinks.

Gumpersuns Law: The probability of anything happening is inversely
proportional to its desirability.

SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT:

1) Enthusiasm
2) Disillusionment
3) Panic
4) Search for the guilty party
5) Punishment of the innocent
6) Praise & honor for the non-participants


To err is human, to compute divine.
Trust your computer but not its programmer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Women and Telecommunications
by Michele Cahoon

The best thing to do here since so many feathers have been ruffled is to
let the cat out of the bag. Bubba Flaval and friends were made up to add
more controversy to the articles. Many of you have really gotten very
upset over this and that is the reason for letting the cat out of the
bag.

We will continue with this section of BTN but now from a more serious
point of view.

There were actually a few people who did agree with Bubba and I'm still
not sure whether they were serious or just taking the losers side.

However, I would like to have some input from the women out there. You
can contact me on many boards or on my own, Point of No RETURN. Men are
also welcome to help with their views, questions or subjects. All
responses are welcome.

Thanks for all the fun!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I Speakee Computereese

When I was just a youg boy my Mama got me a computer. So I been
learning it ever since. Here is a list of what I have learned.

1) Modem: Please hand me some modem taters.

2) CPU: Confound Pick-Up. What Daddy says when the truck won't start.

3) DATA: Data do boy. What Mama says when I ain't acting right.

4) PRINT: The only way I know how to write.

5) DIM: Go and get dim chores done.

6) COMMON: What the people in town call us.

7) EDIT: I ain't edit yet cause I don't like spinach.

8) END: What my Daddy kicks of mine when I get home late.

9) FIELD: Where the cows go at daylight.

10) KEY: What I open the door with.

11) PALETTE: Where my cousins sleep when they come to my house.

12) PCOPY: When you go to the bathroom behind the barn and your little
brother does to.

13) PRESET: When you sit down in church before the preacher does.

14) PSET: What women do.

15) READ: What Daddy can't do.

16) RESET: What you do after you have PRESET and got back up.

17) SCREEN: That wire stuff on front door.

18) SHELL: The thing on the back of a turtle.

19) TROFF: Where the pigs eat.

20) WRITE: Another thing my Daddy can't do.

As soon as I can get a chance I will try to add to this list 'cause I
know there are people out there like I use to be and are just getting
started in this computin' stuff and I want to do all I can to help them.

So see ya'll later.
BUD

---------------------------------------------------------------------

                         Whoops You're Caught!!
By: Gina Gossip

The following caught in the act are mainly BTN writers this issue.
Beware though, no one is safe from Gina Gossip. Always be watching over
your shoulder......

A certain male made it known publicly that he couldn't keep
his hands out of another males' spandex shorts....

One of our favorite sysops was found face down, nose in the carpet,
chair on head after a serious meeting...

Writer for BTN not present at meeting because of fear.... "Fat,Bald, and
Ugly"........................

There is a sysop who couldn't handle a beating from one of our female
writers.

A non-member of BTN passed out and woke up to find he had been made into
a human peanut butter and jelly sandwich.......

There is a sysop who is shy when off the boards and has learned to say
"Ya'll".......

One of our writers tried to get everyone into a little dirty dancing....

A writer's wife didn't realize she had been abused by a peanut while
crashed until the following morning.............

Well these are little tidbits to help you learn what all those crazy BTN
writers are doing instead of writing and creating issues for us....

Until next time......
watch your every move.....
Gina Gossip

---------------------------------------------------------------------

From The Kitchen

Well hello again:

As I promised I will introduce some of you to different aspects of the
kitchen that maybe you do not yet know about.

I would like to explain that I learned to cook at a young age. My
mother, who worked, always came home and cooked dinner. As I got older
and did not think it that important to be home in time for dinner my
mother informed me that if I wanted to eat I could be home on time or
fix my own. This was when I was a high school mental reject and so I
could eat things like twinkies and cold sausage that was left from
breakfast. My first year in college I ate rice and hotdogs. You take one
cup of rice, two cups of water and 2 or 3 hotdogs sliced. Put all of
this in a pan and boil until rice is cooked. This tastes like holy sh..
but it will sustain life and leave some money in your pocket at the end
of the week. Later I got married and put my wife through school. Now out
of the sixties and early seventies I felt no alarm when I started to
cook dinner when I beat her home in the afternoons. You know what They
say. Practice makes perfect. Anyway, I got pretty good at what I do and
really got to where I enjoyed it. I have attended some cooking schools
and classes so it not like I'm BSing you here. These recipes have been
tested and will work.

So what do you say? Let's get started.

Spices You should always keep on hand: Cinnamon; Coriander; White pepper
(ground and whole corns); Black pepper (ground and whole corns); Cayenne
pepper; garlic (powdered, minced and fresh) never use garlic salt; sea
salt; mace; thyme; basil; bay leaves; tarragon; Hungarian paprika; dry
mustard; file' (this is for soups and gumbos); oregano; sage; cloves and
ginger. Whenever possible you should use fresh herbs and spices. These
can be found at different locations around town but for the widest
selection that I know of you should try out the Fresh Market located in
English Village. This place is great just to wander through and look
around.

Oils and Vinegars: You should have the following oils on hand: peanut;
olive (you pay more but you should always use first press extra virgin);
grape oil; and a vegetable oil. It is also nice to have around some
lard. This is the consistency of Crisco but is rendered from pork. It is
terrible for you but adds so much flavor to some of our southern dishes
that it is worth the risk. You cannot in my opinion make cornbread
without lard. You should have the following vinegars on hand: white
distilled ; red wine; tarragon; and pepper. The latter can be made by
adding 1/3 a cup of tarragon or 1/4 cup of whole pepper corns to a 16
ounce bottle of white distilled and letting it sit for a week or so
before using.

Pots and Pans: ALL pots should be made of copper. The copper allows even
heating. Your pans , saute and fry, should be a mixture of cast iron and
copper. The saute pans should be copper and the rest should be cast
iron. If at all possible do not use aluminum because it will develop hot
spots. In the pots you should have at least 2 sauce pots which are quite
small, some where in the area of 2 or 3 cup size. Also include 1, 2, and
three quart saucepans. As you cook you will learn which size you need
the most of. This has a lot to do with how many you are cooking for. You
will also need at least 2 soup pots. One of these should be porcelain
covered cast iron. You will also need at least one double boiler. In the
pans you will need a number 8, 10, 12 and 16 cast iron skillets. You
should have covers for all of these. you should have an 8 inch and a 12
inch copper saute pan. You should also have a 12 or 14 inch copper fry
pan with cover. It is nice to also have a copper fish pan of medium
size. The only aluminum pan I would allow is a large and I mean large
roasting pan. These work nice in the oven because they are surrounded by
the heat rather than having the heat applied in one area. You will also
need a loaf pan. If you ever bake bread once for yourself you will never
buy it again if it is to be used for something other than peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.

Utensils: There are literally thousands of gadgets for your kitchens.
These will be acquired with time and you will know when you need to
purchase something rather than improvising with something you already
have. I would suggest the following. Colander, grater, sieve, zester,
peeler, an assortment of wooden spoons, a pasta hook, a paring knife, a
chefs knife, meat clever (this is a must), and an assortment of butcher
knives.

This is just a start and next time I will try to add some insight into
the need for these things as well as a recipe or two.

Remember; Enjoy and Good Eating,
Chez Stephan

---------------------------------------------------------------------

              Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area

NAME                           NUMBER     BAUD

68FREE                         933-7518   300, 1200
America Online Node 1          324-0193   300, 1200, 2400
America Online Node 2          324-0194   300, 1200, 2400
America Online Node 3          324-0195   300, 1200, 2400
American BBS                   674-1851   300, 1200, 2400
Amiga Alliance                 631-2846   300, 1200
Asylum BBS                     988-0477   300, 1200
Birmingham BBS Node 1          251-2344   300, 1200
Birmingham BBS Node 2          251-8033   300, 1200
Birmingham Business BBS        856-0679   300, 1200, 2400
Bus System BBS                 595-1627   300, 1200, 2400
Channel 8250                   785-7417   300, 1200, 2400
Commodore Club-South           853-8718   300, 1200, 2400
Fear & Loathing                985-4856   300, 1200, 2400
Elite Empire                   967-8479   300, 1200, 2400
Fortress BBS                   664-9040   300, 1200
LZ Birmingham                  870-7770   300, 1200, 2400
Magnolia BBS                   854-6407   300, 1200, 2400
Misty Mountain                 979-8409   300, 1200, 2400
Misty Mountain II              969-2052   300, 1200
Nouveaux BBS                   871-5551   300, 1200, 2400
Pinson Valley Node 1           854-9661   300, 1200, 2400
Pinson Valley Node 2           854-9662   300, 1200, 2400, 9600
Point of No RETURN             664-9609   300, 1200, 2400
RiverSide                      663-6015   300, 1200, 2400
Scott's Penny Arcade           226-1841   300, 1200, 2400
Southern Regiment              647-9176   300, 1200, 2400
Sperry BBS                     853-6144   300, 1200, 2400
ST BBS                         836-9311   300, 1200, 2400
The Connection Node 1          854-9074   1200, 2400
The Connection Node 2          854-2308   1200, 2400
Willie's DYM Node 1            979-1629   300, 1200, 2400
Willie's DYM Node 2            979-7739   300, 1200, 2400
Willie's RBBS                  979-7743   300, 1200, 2400
Ziggy Unaxess                  991-5696   300, 1200